Shadyna the pacifist is back in killing business!
Wait a minute… That doesn't sound right.
A~nyway, my [Fishy Dumpluck] operation was a huge success. I could have sworn our whacky patrons were calling my event as something else though. Let's not mind it too much, un.
I was worried that most players would leave to attend the maids' shop's opening, which some did, until the news of my delicious steamed dumplings spreads like wildfire.
Those who chased after the maids may or may not have received additional [Spicing] on their dumplings by [Silent Cast], resulting in less than desirable effects. Isn't that nice, getting special treatment from a cute young girl~?
To be honest, I didn't intend to make such a large scale event. The original plan was slapping [Spicing] on the food until it is good enough (a.k.a "not lethal") for consumption, then giving it to willing patrons as light snacks.
That was when my first customer, the awkward but nice maid, pointed out that she couldn't use [Inspect] to see the effect of the bun. Turns out, even players with level 30 [Inspect] can't get anything out of my food without being in my party. Finding out that I could get away with it, the snack distribution plan turned into an all-out lottery of doom, during which I indirectly killed soooooo many players, I got a title for it.
[Secret Ingredient: The one who found the secret ingredient of cooking:
If my [Mancannon] is a joke title, this [Secret Ingredient] is definitely a clown. Every time a main heroine says cliché lines similar to that description, it is a fact that the protagonist's days are numbered. Plot armor will keep him alive, but at that point he might prefer death to the suffering caused by the literally lovely food.
…Somehow, that's quite close to what happened to my sacrif… food tasters.
With this title, the crafting menu when I use [Modification] has an ingredient slot called [Love - Infinity/1] which only disappears after I put actual crafting materials into it. Sateri, are you going to be alright, putting so much details into these jokes…?
When [Love] is used, all food bonuses become negative, no exception. How bad it becomes and its item effects are still random though.
For making edible food, it is completely useless. There's no doubt about it. Who would want to eat something that will bring their attributes to the level of a cute girl who happened to have a total of 0 attribute when she first started out? I personally wouldn't, but I sure would [Love] to have my enemies eat it, evil laugh~
I thought I finally got the food debuff for skill stacking, but, just like the conversion buffs, it still counts as buffs, including the meals filled with [Love] that have no benefits whatsoever! Sad face~
It was a setback, but I still managed to achieve my main objectives: Power grinding my crafting skills, study of [Spicing]'s effects and unlocking most known buff/debuff skills.
Because Sateri may slam me with the nerf hammer again, having mostly no-damage skills but can still make a difference in combat will help greatly. Should weaponizing players become infeasible, I can still make them effectively dead for the rest of the fight.
And most importantly, there is a nagging question ever since I learned about conversion buffs…
If a buff consumes HP to enhance other stats, does it count towards [Damage dealt] record?
…Ufufu… I almost burst out laughing maniacally as I learned the answer.
No, no it does not.
Not only are conversion buffs not counted to [Damage Dealt], all damage-dealing effects are considered "beneficial" as long as a buff or healing effect exist in the item. Even if the skills granted by [Alchemy] and [Spicing] are world-ending spells, I technically don't harm anybody if my items also heal 1 HP at the same time.
In other words, I can buff others so hard, they will explode like evil overlords activating their artifacts of godly power the wrong way. Great power comes with great lethality for the user, un.
But that is for the future. I need a few days to unlock all the skills I got my hands on today. The skills from equipment sets were all acquired, but the ones from skill scrolls weren't. The upcoming days will make my [Fishing] trips look like vacations!
For now though, I will continue crafting. Not for the degenerate patrons, mind you. They have suffered a lot, yet they are still asking for more despite me explicitly explaining to them that I was out of materials already!
You guys just burnt through my fish stockpile which I spent the last four days to acquire! At least pretend to show some restraints!
…
_ Shadyna: Here you go. Thank you for your help today.
_ Not Dangerous Maid: …For me?
Last I checked, you are the only person in front of me, so why are you asking that…?
I am giving her a basket filled with dumplings. There are enough for her party to use for a few days, and I made sure there was no ill effect.
Yes, they are all "grand prizes", according to our patrons. "First places" are instant death ones, by the way. What the heck, guys…?
_ Shadyna: Un! Consider it your paycheck for today. Share with your friends if you wish. Don't forget to [Reheat] it once a day, okay?
I made the basket with [Snow] so it prevents food expiration for a good while. I think they all have [Reheat], because competing with Hessy while having [Cooking] below level 10 is… unwise, to put it mildly. That depraved maid may do it, but I think this person here won't.
_ Not Dangerous Maid: Will my body suffice as payment…?
Seriously, why are you all trying to do that the moment you have a chance?!
_ Su: This one learns fast.
Don't encourage her, you crazy elf!
_ Shadyna: You have already paid it with your hard work. Don't worry about it.
She bravely consumed dubious food, then helped us out as if she was part of our crew for hours. If I don't compensate her properly, my reputation will be ruined~
_ Not Dangerous (?) Maid: Then… I graciously accept.
Parting with the maid, I move on to the next dumpling batch. I wonder if the maid party will go on a boss hunt with those buffs…
…
And next up is…
_ Shadyna: Since you guys don't have [Reheat], I put in a [Reheat Pack]. You still need to provide materials for the skill itself though.
The "pack" is just an enchanted shield with [Reheat] for others to invoke it. The stats is trash, so it's not a good idea to use it against last bosses, unless said last bosses were asking to heat up leftover food from the day before.
_ Tippe: Handmade food from a cute girl… I can die happy now!
Even though you have already done it just to get this basket in the first place?!
While none will add to [Damage dealt], I'm sure it did count to
_ Ignar: By the way, are you going to sell these dumplings in the future?
Oh~ Is that a positive feedback I'm hearing? Flattered face~
_ Shadyna: Probably not. Only I can craft these, and the material cost is scary. If I sell it for profit, no sane person will buy it.
[Heroic Inspiration Course] is [Cooking] only, and it's already way too expensive. My [Fishy Dumpluck] needs to be a few times higher in price to make a profit, and it's only for one person, not a party.
I may sell to big guilds though, since they can actually afford it.
_ Spearman: Special treatment… So jealous…
Un, the degenerates are already eyeing on the poor party! Too bad, but you guys didn't volunteer like
With any luck, maybe our more extreme patrons will murder
_ Maximus: This brat is already planning something nasty again!!!
_ Shadyna: That's just your imagination~
Maybe I should have made my crafting armor set with a veil like my main set, to prevent perverts from watching my expression~
Speaking of something nasty, I wonder what happened to the assassin earlier… Hope he got to keep his sanity…
____________
The march of the cafeteria cavalry unit was interrupted by not one, but two annoying groups at roughly the same time. Now they are bickering with each other, while blocking the way in all directions.
_ Muscular idiot: We finally found you, traitorous hag! You have one last chance to join the winning side that is the Unity of Mankind! Failure to comply will result in your death!
The bunch on the left is composed of the idiots sieging
Meanwhile, the other group is a ragtag bunch of misfits, appearance-wise. They are really diverse in races, armors, weapons, everything. The only thing common is the blue feather drawing on their armors. Their leader is probably the haughty cat-eared dude screaming at the muscular one.
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
_ Haughty idiot: Scram, blockheads! We, the Blue Blood Federation, will be the ones taking her! She isn't even a pure-blood you muscle-for-brain!
Somehow, her bloodline is already being questioned. As a friend of
It was mostly being
_ Thelia (Party): Oh, those guys again…
_ Fuelri (Party): You know them?
Roaming the board every now and then keeps her informed of the current meta, including the rise of these two new alliances. The new players are flocking to them to stand against the dominating big four guilds, hence this current amount of road blocks all around the cavalry girls.
Somehow, the personalities of the (probably) leaders are just as annoying as
_ Thelia (Party): Asked the mixed-race members to join their war against the pure races the other day. We said "Over our dead bodies", so I suppose they are taking it literally.
_ Fuelri (Party): Uwa… Now they are after me too, it seems.
Although the Unity of Mankind's participation was her own fault for crashing into them,
_ Muscular idiot: Ha! Right back at you, idiots. She's definitely an elf!
_ Haughty idiot: That's why you will always be an idiot! She's a half-elf!
Why these Blue Blood guys mistook her for a half race is still a question, however. It's indeed easy to get the race wrong if you only have pointy ears to go by, but that's the more reason not to assume anything.
_ Fuelri: Uh… Who do you think I am, exactly?
From the leader's tone, it seems they are very certain of her race. That, or they are idiots. Probably the latter, but there's no harm in making sure.
_ Haughty idiot: You are the magnificent Illusive Sprout, of course!
It was so absurd, the elven knight was rendered speechless for a good five seconds.
_ Shadyna (PM): Elri, party please~
_ Fuelri: Hold on… How the hell…
_ Haughty idiot: Well, everyone knows about the new player that changed the meta forever.
Poor
_ Haughty idiot: The closed beta players had always been ahead of us, until the day a young half-elf dressed in black came.
Props to them for having up-to-date color scheme of
The idiot missed the memo about the person he was looking for being a little girl though.
_ Haughty idiot: With the summoned pet from hell, she shook the foundation of the player base, destroying everyone in her path…
But that greenish blob was simply swimming in a lava pot in the cafeteria for the last week and players are already forgetting its appearance!
_ Haughty idiot: And there's the escort army that one must defeat before thinking about touching a hair of you…
It's true that the cafeteria crew would never let
The dumpling part is hard to guess, that's for certain, but she will predictably be at home whenever she does her crafting spree.
Not that anyone without permission to enter
_ Haughty idiot: So, join us, Illusive Sprout. We promise a bright future ahead for all of us new half-blooded players. If you don't… You may end up dead like that teahouse's elf earlier today.
_ Muscular idiot: Huh… I thought she was someone else, but you had a point.
The young elf has come to a conclusion: Both these idiots are idiots.
While it is not known how they can assassinate someone in the crew, the fact that they did only means one thing.
_ Fuelri: *Sighs*
_ Thelia: Eh… Over our dead bodies, genes fetishists!
Because she can read the atmosphere,
_ Haughty idiot: So you have chosen death…
_ Muscular idiot: I wanted to kill her anyway! ATTACK!!!
Even though they were throwing insults at each other, the idiots are banding together to do what is pretty much bullying young girls in the middle of nowhere. Too bad no bystander was close enough to call them out.
*FLASH* *WHAM*
_ ???: KYA!
The alliances had barely taken a step forward before they were blinded by something in front of them, followed by a lightning strike at the same location. As the whiteness subsides, everyone finds a little girl covering the sprout on her head with her hands.
She looks kind of singed, probably due to being hit by lightning, but still alive and kicking.
_ Fuelri (Party): What the heck was that?
The cause of this mess,
_ Shadyna (Party): Un, I was using a [Teleport] orb spiced with lightning effect. It did make the visual effect I wanted but I didn't expect the pain…
_ Fuelri (Party): Why would you hit yourself with lightning just to change the skill's visual, you idiot?!
_ Shadyna (Party): I'm sorry~ Anyway! Here's your lunch~
The sprout brat proceeds to give everyone in the cavalry unit a lunchbox, while showing off that trademark grin. As usual, this idiot only follows her own pace.
_ Shadyna (Party): I haven't unlocked all the skills so it's just the normal buffs for now…
Because she was in the party, checking the lunchbox's stats was no problem.
---
[Love-free Lunchbox]
- Creator:
- Quality:
- Type:
- Food:
+
+ 4000 HP
+ 6200 MP
+ 90 STR
+ 52 DEX
+ 51 CON
+ 87 LDR
+ 55 FOC
+ 75 WIT
+ 35 MEN
+ 87 LCK
- Alchemy:
+
+ 640 HP
+ 960 MP
+ 320 PAT
+ 13 PSP
+ 384 PDF
+ 448 MAT
+ 13 MSP
+ 512 MDF
+ 32 SPD
---
Everything else is a problem!
_ Fuelri (Party): WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!
This so-called "normal buff" item is already a few times stronger than the level-capped stuff one can buy in the market, and it's a hybrid item. While not comparable to the pre-nerfed multipliers, the numbers alone are indicating a double in raw stats.
Having spent days to adjust to the new meta,
_ Shadyna (Party): I'm glad to see you are happy with it! If I don't drown in new skills in the following days, I will make new ones with new buffs~
_ Fuelri (Party): It's going to get even worse?! And use the damn "Hide" option in the skill menu!
_ Shadyna (Party): …Eh? That is a thing?
_ Fuelri (Party): I will lose if I comment on that… *Sighs* How did it go? Your plan, I mean.
The cavalry unit left early, so they only found out about the general plan as it was under way.
_ Shadyna (Party): Un, a weirdo stabbed me for two HP, and some maids declared war on us, but I can pacify people with extreme prejudice now~
She spins around like a carefree young lady playing in a flower field, who she does have the look for, as long as she keeps silent. Meanwhile, the party can only facepalm at the sad assassination attempt of whoever that was.
_ Shadyna (Party): But all the crafting really tired me out, so I'm just going to climb the tower for the rest of the day.
_ Fuelri (Party): That's not how to relax at all! Wait, before that, who stabbed you?
_ Shadyna (Party): Mera told me he was from something called Blue Blood Fed. The maids were from Unity of Man, or something like that.
She can't even remember the names of her adversaries correctly, but it was still enough for everyone in the party to glare at the idiots politely standing behind her.
Because talking is a free action, the surrounding players decided to refrain from interrupting. Definitely not because they don't know what to make of the weirdo that just appeared and began handing out suspicious goods.
_ Thelia (Party): Owner, if you are not joining anyone else, mind staying in party for a while?
_ Shadyna (Party): Sure~ I'll be going back now. [
*FLASH*
Disappearing into the light, the little terror presumably moves to the tower where she dropped most of the team to death.
_ Shadyna (Party): OUCH!
And gets hit by the lightning at the destination as well, from the sound of it.
_ Fuelri (Party): …Probably should call
_ Thelia (Party): Already did. Not taking any chance.
_ Shadyna (Party): I appreciate your consideration, but aren't you two implying something really rude just now?!
It was definitely just
_ Haughty idiot: That person just now… was the elf in the teahouse right?
Indeed, the half-elf in black they were looking for had decided to wear something else on a whim, so it couldn't be helped. Regardless, they ordered an attack on a member (owner) of the delivery girls' workplace, and there's only one course of action as a result.
_ Haughty idiot: So uh… if you don't want her to die needlessly again…
Activating the dubious lunchboxes, the cavalry team of the cafeteria begins their first real charge, weapons pointed at the idiots threatening them.
_ Fuelri: On me! CHARGE!
_ Delivery girls: CHARGE!!!
_ Muscular idiot: Dammit, not again!
The brave warriors from the alliances find themselves not so brave now that they are facing a literal boss rush. Nearly half of them having witnessed (and suffered) the devastation of such a charge the other day is not helping the morale one bit.
_ Haughty idiot: W-wait! That was just in-character roleplaying!
_ Muscular idiot: That's right! In-character!
As
_ Haughty idiot: There's no way it will fit!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA-incoherent screams of despair-
The alliances' plans were unfruitful, to put it mildly.
____________
The cafeteria is resuming normal operations after a busy day. Reinstalling furniture, cooking food that does not put consumers on fire, selling
_ Warrior: Hello, is
_ Hessenria: Welcome. The event has ended, unfortunately.
_ Warrior: Sheesh… That's too bad. We'll take the usual then.
The new patrons walk over the corpses to get to their table. They are not going to be bothered by unknown butlers rambling about how Blue Blood Federation will take over this place and have the last laugh.
_ Warrior: New competitions are cropping up huh.
_ Hessenria: We already have countermeasures for that. However, we certainly did not expect this amount of weirdoes…
Looking at the lead waitress "cleaning" by smashing the bodies with her spiky swords, the degenerates can't help but admire and retort that this whole cafeteria crew is the weirdest bunch in the player base.
--- Topic: Can't find field bosses ---
## OP alchemist
For some reason we can't find field bosses at their spawn points. Anyone having same problem?
##
## Manly Warrior
You won't be able to get a boss at this time. Operation Sprout Roulette unleashed a horde of overly buffed players who all had the same idea of hunting down a boss they normally wouldn't be able to.
Makes pre-buff boss situation look like a post-scarcity society in comparison. (；一_一)
##
## Serious Mage
Can confirm. Field bosses were systematically eradicated in an unprecedented scale.
In area with bosses known to drop buff/debuff skills, the competition was so fierce, most casualties were from PvP rather than the bosses.
##
## OP alchemist
Our cute little pacifist turned us all into mass murderers… (~_~)
There's no turning back! We will be hunting mobs en mass then! Can't let this buff go to waste.
##
## Bountiful Hunter
Go to the lv 20+ zones. You are not going to find a mob in weaker zones that last more than 10 seconds because everyone has the same plan (again).
The mass extinction has already begun.
##
## Silver Merchant
The cooking/alchemy nerf backfired as weaker players benefit more from raw stats buffs than multipliers. Revenge against Sateri-chan, confirmed.
Also RIP bosses, mobs and economy. It was nice knowing you. (ToT)
##
## Manly Warrior
*Sighs* AAR thread coming right up… (=_=)
##
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--- Topic: New event? ---
## Flame knight of Darkness
We were checking out the bosses in the Dry Grassland and found a massive org… I mean concentration of players. [Pic]
Did we have another PvP event in place?
##
## Nearseeing Sage
Don't think so. Our guild did not receive any notice from our allies at least.
That's a lot of players…
##
## Curious big boobs elf
Just idiots trying to poach new members. Don't mind them.
And next time you guys spread gossips, do it in a way that others won't mistake me for Illusive Sprout of all people!!!
[Link] Stream for anyone interested.
##
## Nearseeing Sage
Oof. (ーー;)
##
## StoneHoarder
Oof. (._.)
##
## CuteIsJustice
Oof. (－‸ლ)
One would think they would visit the board for a screenshot of their potential recruit first.
##
## Heaven Piercer
So uh… did it fit? Your halberd I mean.
##
## Fire mage of Justice
This guy is asking the real question!
Reported. Damn degenerate!!!
##
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