Where there is demand, there will be supply. Such was the reason why a guild full of PKers came to existence. Espionage, sabotage, assassination, they have it covered, for a very reasonable price. Acting as the hidden blade of Blue Blood Federation, the agents of the night will strike fear into the hearts of the player base!
…Or at least, that was the original plan.
They accepted a contract to PK a member of the cafeteria from the haughty leader of the alliance, in an attempt to recruit Illusive Sprout. How that would persuade her to join instead of pissing her off is beyond the guildmaster, but hey, half of the contract was paid in advance, and it would be good advertisement.
Unlike the haughty idiot, the guildmaster is much more cautious. After eating for days in the tavern in the name of intelligence gathering, he picked the target: The proprietress of the teahouse. She was thought to be the most vulnerable player, and therefore, the most suitable target.
She is a support player, or in other words, a weakling in combat. Moreover, she has an uncanny tendency to cough blood every two minutes, which gains her a reputation of someone ready to drop dead on her own at any moment. Combined with her working areas filled with isolated rooms, this person is practically asking to be found murdered in a locked room mystery!
Such a suitable target to send a message about the guild's peerless ability to have someone killed, said by no one ever. The guildmaster decided not to think too deeply about that and sent his best henchman. The plan was straightforward: Rent a room, murder her in cold blood when she delivers the food, then escape before she can raise alarm.
What the guildmaster did not plan, however, was the henchman being in the "body fat" faction. He can recognize the well-endowed ladies of the cafeteria just by looking below their necklines, but has no idea what the target looks like except for the "little girl, pointy ear" features.
And mistakes were made. A lot of them. At least one was so absurd, his guild became the laughing stock instead of a new urban legend. Such humiliation!
That henchman, afraid of awakening to some weird stuff, refused to take up the job again. Therefore, the guildmaster had to take the matter into his own hands, mainly to avoid learning what said weird stuff was.
By eavesdropping for a few more days, he learned of the cafeteria crew's plan to raid a boss at Snow Mountain. Of course, he went there ahead of time and stalked his target like a predator. Considering his target's appearance, he may have a hard time explaining that to a police officer though!
Little did the unwitting stalker know, his nightmare was only about to begin.
The support elf girl luring every mobs in the vicinity, a "rain" blowing up the mountain, a lethal laser light show, meteors blotting out the sky, being [Mass Recall]-ed with this army of mobs to a big refrigerator. About half way through that list of bizarre events, his brain kind of stopped due to overworking.
It says a lot when a little girl sitting on top of a gigantic flower, another one riding a glowing golem, and a girl in black with a distinctive sprout smashing said fridge to pieces was the most believable scene for him today. Not that believable per se, but at least it was sane enough to comprehend.
As the players were transferred to presumably the treasure room while the mobs were despawned out of existence for the new zone, the master assassin finally had time to contemplate whether he was still playing the same game as those maniacs. Unfortunately, he couldn't find an answer by the time they returned, mostly because the newly appeared trees didn't make good therapists…
Lucky for him, the girls were apparently letting their guard down after a boss fight. Despite being in [Detect Presence] range, no one looked his way. They just went ahead and used [Mass Recall] again, except for Illusive Sprout.
She looked around as if checking for any nearby player, but again, failed to notice him. It's not a surprise, since not many players can keep track of [Detect Presence] at all times. The ones who do are more often than not paranoid nut cases who think they may be ambushed in the next corner, for every corner they come across.
_ Illusive Sprout: [Luminous Firestorm Invoker]!
The terror in black activated her item for no obvious reason. Since she was facing a completely different direction, with no living being in sight, it was unlikely that he was spotted.
Unfortunately for the guildmaster, that girl's failed spot check's consequence was for him to bear.
Beneath his feet, the ground quaked for a short moment then broke apart, revealing a pool of flowing magma. Although that was out of nowhere, he still managed to jump away to avoid the lethal trap. Agility is bread and butter of a good assassin after all.
He soon found out that it wasn't a pool but a geyser, as it blasted the hot steamy contents right in his face.
_ Assassin: HOT! HOT!!!
That was not really befitting a silent killer, but roleplaying was second-thought the moment pain and agony came into play! Nevertheless, the column of magma sent him to the sky against his will, along with the burning chunks of terrain and trees around him. Even if he had managed to dodge that eruption, he would have been caught by the ones next to it.
The last thing the poor assassin could see was the little girl standing in the center of it all, making a surprised face while countless geysers were still erupting around her.
_ Illusive Sprout: …Whoops?
Don't just "Whoops" after destroying half the zone with a single consumable item!!! Such was his retort. His corpse was burnt by the magma though, so he was forcefully returned to Tyrel without conveying his thought to the person in question.
Having to wait for the respawn due to his old PK penalty, the wise guildmaster spent some time thinking and came to a conclusion.
Let's just send her a gift to apologize and cancel the contract. He is never going to be paid enough to pick a fight with that weapon of mass destruction!
____________
The tavern has come back to live after the return of the employees. It should be noted that they were only out for an hour, yet the patrons were yelling in happiness as if that hour was an eternity.
It WAS an eternity, for the degenerate patrons at least.
While they were having their daily dose of verbal abuse and negligence, the young owner returned.
_ Shadyna: I'm back~
_ Inerin: Welcome back, that was quick.
_ Shadyna: Un! I definitely did not unknowingly turn the area around me into another fiery inferno which instantly cooked everyone and everything in its wake after all!
The unfortunate waitress in charge cramps for a second, then facepalms, hard.
_ Inerin: What the hell did you do in just two minutes without surveillance you maniac!!!
_ Shadyna: I'm sorry~!
Judging by that cute grin behind the thin veil, she is anything but. The customers like that precious smile though, so they will stay quiet!
_ Shadyna: A~nyway, are we not celebrating?
_ Inerin: *Sighs* Go upstairs. We need skeletal crew to tend the tables so… Actually, I'll accompany you there. Otherwise you will just blast us all to pieces while walking on the stairs.
_ Shadyna: How mean! I wouldn't intentionally do that you know!
_ Inerin: At least deny being capable of doing that!!!
Today was a peaceful day for the patrons as well.
____________
_ Vladina: And that brings us to today…
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Everyone in the meeting room looks at the little sage with a dubious expression.
_ Torenis: You haven't explained anything at all!
_ Vladina: The atmosphere is important!
The bickering has already begun after the last invited player arrived. It's a wonder how these guildmasters ever got anything done in the past. Then again, a muscular idiot and a haughty idiot standing over there also managed to become the leader of whole alliances…
Is this game's player base going to be alright? Thinks the speed min-maxer archer watching from across the table.
_ Maximus: Oi, get a private room, you two.
He has important grinding to do, so the faster this is wrapped up, the better.
_ Vladina: Ehem! My apologies. As for why I called you here…
In addition to the guildmasters of the big four guilds, the alliance leaders from Unity of Mankind and Blue Blood Federation are also present. Only the two idiots though, because they didn't know whether they should inform the other guilds or not.
Even though the number of guildmasters increased, the number of players in the room actually decreased compared to the last strategic meeting because the managers are not participating.
_ Vladina: It's about
_ Muscular idiot: That's her name huh? By the way, you sure you want to do this while she's having a party in the next room?
_ Vladina: Why the heck do you know that? Stalker? Are you a freaking stalker?!
_ Muscular idiot: You are the last person I want to hear that from! The waitress guiding me told me after I saw that little girl entering the room.
_ Vladina: Dammit, I want to join her too…! A-anyway, our meeting room in my mansion is reserved for cute loli only. My ex-wife's personality may be rotten, but I am confident in her work ethics. She won't tap our conversation here.
The players around were tempted to ask whether
_ Torenis: Are you going to propose another alliance or something?
_ Maximus: Heh, that worked out so well last time.
_ Vladina: Because it didn't work out that I am proposing a new one! That girl just snatched another Avitus Caelicola right under our nose and all we did was getting blasted again and again by the environment!
_ Muscular idiot: You too?!
Despite everyone's best effort, the topic has derailed into a talk about the pain and suffering they went through during the (attempted) boss-stealing…
Unexpectedly, Blue Blood Federation was also caught up in it. They mobilized after catching winds of their enemies' movements from their own outpost, and became collateral damage similarly to most players here.
Regardless of the outcome of this proposal, a bond has formed between the guildmasters. Who could have thought that death lasers, meteors and the earth exploding into magma geysers would bring people closer together…?
_ Ignar: How are we going to fight against her? We won't charge at her, right?
This realist warrior just had to ruin the cozy mood by asking a down-to-earth question!
_ Vladina: Of course not! What kind of strategist attack the enemy at their strongest point?
_ Tippe: Dunno, you guys didn't seem to have any plan earlier aside from rushing in.
_ Vladina:
Indeed, the Magnus Bestia incident happened exactly because the person in question had to logout for the day. The Pervert Alliance had free reign for a whole day and subdued the boss successfully, in spite of the rough start.
With an organized assault, the new alliance should have enough manpower to overwhelm all bosses. There will be no significant opposition guild to disturb their raid, not when the supposedly opposition are here, being invited into the fold.
_ Vladina: I am going to go through the potential leads to bonus bosses again, and will inform all of you where the next one may be. We should trigger the boss fight when it's inconvenient for
Rather than fighting against Illusive Sprout, they are already resorting to avoiding her altogether and waging a guerrilla war!
_ Ignar: Well, I suppose that's fine… Wait, do we even know her usual playtime?
For the plan to work, they need to know when
_ Vladina: I do.
_ Ignar: Yeah, I guess that's a bit too hard to acqui… You do?!
Nodding again to confirm the suspicion,
_ Vladina: I do. Of course, that took many days to investigate, but I have her general schedule with 90% accuracy.
Staring at the lolicon sage as if she is a perverted stalker (she is), everyone simultaneously yells at her with a voice that can pierce the heaven, but not the boundary of the private room.
_ Everyone: YOU DAMN LOLICON!!!
And so, the new anti-Sprout alliance was formed, exclusively for all future bonus bosses that may prop up. The reputation of
____________
A maid, an assassin, and a merchant enter a bar…
The (designated) womanizer of the bar,
No, that's simply because she was the depraved maid who proudly announced her degeneracy in front of the whole crew the other day. And there was also something about a rival café as well, but it's mainly the degeneracy that made an impression.
There is absolutely no other impure thought in
The assassin looks like he just came back from hell, and the merchant that is her former guildmaster is sobbing as if he lost a member with big breasts or something as trivial.
All three are bad news, silently thinks
They ordered booze. There are drinks on the menu, including alcohols, due to feedback from the customers lately. Problem is… you can't get drunk in game. Sure, it has the taste and even [Spicing] to debuff magic-related stats for immersion, but you will still be sober after consumption.
Mera suggested drinks so good that they send consumers to the other world instead. However, they were rejected because of the high cost required to make food lethal on first bite.
Orders are orders though, and this is a bar.
_ Helen: Here you go~
Taking the mug,
_ Olkan: She fired meeeeeeeeee!!!
Yup, this one is troublesome.
_ Helen: You deserved it, right~?
_ Olkan: Cold! Shouldn't you at least say something to cheer me up?!
That would usually be the case. However,
_ Helen: Well~ You skipped work to stalk an underage girl…
_ Olkan: GUH!
The merchant has taken critical damage to his ideology and fainted!
_ Assassin: Little girls are scary…
Now here is this guy who keeps staring at his mug while ranting…
_ Assassin: Appearances can be deceiving, but isn't it too much? Is that girl even human…?
Considering the race options in this game, there's a good chance that the person he mentioned is literally not human.
_ Depraved Maid: At least you are not getting NTR-ed by a little girl! That brat took away my lover and now my business!
The depraved maid slams her mug onto the table as she rants about her circumstances. And that was bold, claiming Hessy as her lover…
_ Olkan: I know right? My mistress just sent me the payment and told me she wouldn't need my service again! No glare, no scolding. It's as if she has completely given up on me!
Mostly because being stabbed is a reward for this degenerate. Hessy knows him too well to let him have what he wants after all of that.
_ Assassin: Be glad she didn't use a finisher move that melted the earth in a literal sense. Refill please.
_ Helen: Right away~
Speaking of melting the earth,
_ Depraved maid: That kills you once at most. This one has been haunting me ever since we opened for business! Another one please!
_ Olkan: Still having a way to turn things around is already better than me! How am I going to get abused now!?
The bartender sighs in relief as the needy customers are getting along, so she can focus on crafting food instead.
How they manage to hold a conversation with three different topics, yet involve the same players unknowingly is pretty amazing for
Since she can read the mood, she will stay silent and start the clock to see how long they can keep up before one of them realize it.
--- Topic: Avitus Caelicola 2 ---
## Flame knight of Darkness
Aaaaaaaaand it's dead.
Darn it @Silver Merchant. You jinxed it. (ーー;)
##
## Bountiful Hunter
Oof. (；一_一)
Who defeated it? Phoenix Ashes or Unity of Mankind?
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## Silver Merchant
Black Mantis killed it.
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## Manly Warrior
Wait what?
Why?! (°_°>)
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## Silver Merchant
Not sure how that happened, to be honest. <(_ _)>
The cafeteria crew suddenly jumped on us, not in a good way, mind you, and killed it before we could even react.
You can watch my stream here [Link]. We couldn't even get close, let alone stop her.
##
## Flame knight of Darkness
Boss aside, what in the world happened to the mountain?! （ ﾟ Дﾟ)
And you guys didn't learn from our failure in dealing with her at all huh. Don't come near her while she's mingling with a boss! (-_-;)
##
## Teabag Master
Sorry about that. ^_^;
We tried to evacuate you all to ensure your safety (and my wife's pacifism), but it seems some of you didn't get the memo.
Due to the questionable strategies we did during the fight, I can't provide the full stream footage. Please enjoy some screenshots from our members instead!
[Pics]
##
## Fire mage of Justice
Calling the destruction of a whole mountain "questionable" is an understatement.
Yes, Sateri-chan, that OP player over there!
##
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--- Topic: Goddess's Chosen discussion ---
## Manly Warrior
Title updated again. [Pic]
Since we didn't figure out the last one, let's double our effort this time!
##
## GoldBar9999
We have the exact location this time, shouldn't be too hard.
EDIT: Scratch that, Sateri-chan went easy on the direction because getting there itself is nigh impossible! [Link]
##
## Serious Mage
You have my sympathy. (~_~)
I thought Sprout was fighting the Avitus Caelicola? What happened to the boss spawned by this title?
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## Maximus Archery
Pwned by the brat, probably.
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## Fire mage of Justice
Just saw the screenshots of the fight. There was only the Avitus Caelicola. Are you sure there was another boss?
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## Nearseeing Sage
Mountain => Plains => Hell => Woodland.
The zone changed more than once. The last Avitus Caelicola only changed the zone after being defeated, so I am certain she was fighting at least two bosses.
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## Manly Warrior
Might as well call her a boss at this point. (￣□￣;)
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