“Who am I? I say, cocking my head. Bertram looks down at me and nods seriously, letting me know he isn't playing.

I puff out my cheeks. “All I wanted was to eat candy.” I complain in a small voice, but the old wizard is unyielding, the candy outside my reach. I could snatch the candy forcefully with telekinesis, that would surely surprise him! However... doing so might also aggro him and I don't really want to aggro an old man, much less an old man that's a well known A ranked adventurer and reputed to be one of the strongest mages in the country... Yeah, let's be careful.

Of course, it's not like the leathery candy thief is superior to me. Oh no. I am still in my growth phase, you know? Still, I am troubled about how to continue. Grom isn't here... I wonder what's keeping him? Maybe he is busy drinking beer, but how could he just leave me alone like this!? Aren't we partners in crime?!

Ah, I guess I can't rely on Grom for everything. Alyce-chan has to manually level up her social interaction skills. Ugh, even though I've yet to put points into it, I am forced to use it... how importunate.

“I am many things, Bertram.” I say. “I am amazing, and glorious, and strong and fantastic, and goodly greatly sweet!” I try one last time, even pouting and cocking my head to the side.

The leathery old fiend is unyielding, his face a stern mask... my candy still out of reach. Goddamn it!

Let's try a different approach.

“Very well then. You want to know about me that much? Then let me enlighten you about me, the great monster. Fufufu.”

I walk over to the desk, climb up on it and stand proud and tall. Eye to eye with the candy thief. Why are you so tall!? Allow me to compress your spine with telekinesis! Ah, but I have to resist. No matter how much I want to forcefully take the candy, doing so would mean that Alyce-chan was the aggressor and would be condemned in the eyes of the law.

Mr. Policeman, I was that guy over there. I swear I didn't do anything! The old man attacked me first! Gyuuh.

I narrow my eyes and try to affect a dark and ominous expression. I even let myself smile sinisterly, showing my fangs. This seems to have a good effect, as Bertram tightens his muscles, clearly on guard. Good good, you should be on guard since I am the great overloli.

With a dark look on my face, I say. “I am that which grips the heart in fright, hearkens night and silences the light.” I glare at him for a few seconds, my eyes unyielding, a powerful HNNG resounding in my mind.

“That's why, gimme my candy you leathery old shoe!” I shout, stomping a foot on the table.

There is a crack.

Ah, table-chan seems to be quite fragile, tête à fragile. I crash through the weak and feeble table-chan, my lower body disappearing! Help, a table mimic is eating me! Please refrain from eating the Alyce-chan in the lobby, thank you.

My cheeks are strangely hot, but I am definitely not blushing. Everyone is looking at me in silence, with wide eyes. Slowly and awkwardly, I climb out of the ruined table and try to remove the splinters from my lower body.

Ah Master Spliter, don't violate my lower body, you dirty rat! Tehepero.

Ahen.

“Where were we?” I ask, turning from the confused-looking minor snacks and Tie'sha back to the old leathery candy thief. “Ah yes, now I remember. You were about to hand me the candy, right?” I say, trying my best to HNNG the candy from Bertram with a powerful Alyce-chan beam.

His face is just blank, his eyes glazed over. “You are definitely a monster. My magic tells me as much, but... you're also many other things.”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“If I come clean, will you give me my candy back?” I ask, finally too fed up to play anymore games. It's now candy or bust. I am not sure I can win against an A rank adventurer, but that hardly matters. It's the principle of it! You cannot simply let people take your candy, you know? You gotta stand up for yourself sometimes!

Slowly, Bertram nods.

“Okay, good. I'm an undead ghoul high-elf demon succubus amazing overloli witch, deal with it bitch!” I say, resisting the urge to pose for the camera. This old candy snatcher doesn't deserve the ahegao double peace. I'd rather die than relinquish it to him. I won't even give him a tehepero! All he deserves is a good ass kicking for stealing my candy.

Unfortunately, it's not Alyce-chan über alles just yet, but in due time, I will be! And then, nobody will be able to snatch my candy.

In any case, I think whoever dares take candy from me, the great overloli, should be forced to repeatedly drop the soap in an American maximum security prison. The pain in the ass they will experience, will be nothing compared to my current predicament! Gah, why is it so tough for me to reclaim my.... huh?

He dropped the candybag. I repeat, target alpha zero go leela chess stockfish echo blue cheese is on the ground!

Commence bag attack!

I throw myself at the candy loot and on all fours, I finally manage to close my hands around the bag of goodness.

Of course, too drool for school has made a triumphant return, drip dripping onto the floor, but that doesn't matter! Fufufu, I finally have it. My great treasure. Alyce-chan is elated.

There is just one last obstacle in my way, so I reluctantly turn my gaze upwards.

Drool still running from my mouth, I sit on my knees before the old man grasping his big staff with one hand. I am not ashamed to say that while I was keeping eye-contact with him, my hand slipped into the candy loot.

“You don't seem... hostile...” Bertram says, his face a little bit confused. Meanwhile, my hand is trembling as I dig into the bag and close it. I can't help but smile as I triumphantly retrieve a handful of candy from the bag, open my mouth and stuff it full.

Sugar explosion.

Hard candy.

Soft, gummybear like candy.

Jelly-like sugar-coated candy.

Some strange, sour crunchy candy.

Some liquorice candy.

The great sweetness violates my mouth intensely, and I can't help but let out a satisfied moan.

Pomf pomf 気持ちい what's that sticky stuff on me?

…

I don't remember much of the next few minutes. I only remember sweetness, sugary deliciousness, hard crunch and soft goo and om nom nom.

My vision sort of blinked out and I just sat there slowly bringing candy from the bag to my mouth with a mechanical motion, carefully chewing the candy, sucking it and tasting it and making weird noises in my throat. There was lots of lip smacking and drool and weird HNNNG noises.

Yes.

When I finally came back to my senses, only Tie'sha was in the room, her face bright red as she sat near me on the floor with a Cyan serviette in her hand.

It took me a second to realize this. I just stared at her, blinking lazily as I swallowed the last bit of candy left in my mouth. “Sweet dreams are made of this.” I say, absentmindedly smiling up at my lovely Tie'sha.

“Who am I to disagree?” She replies, dabbing at my face with the cyan serviette as usual. I don't really know why, but this makes me very happy and I jump at Tie'sha with a little squeal hnng, hugging her as tears stream from my eyes. “My--- my lady!” she calls out, but I just squeeze my arms tighter around her as I sniffle.

“Finally, my candy. I got it at last. Of- of course I knew that I would win in the end, but it was a hard fought battle.” I say, quickly drying my tears.

I definitely did not surreptitiously sniff Tie'sha's hair and neck. Nor did I put my lips on her neck for a quick taste. I definitely did not do that, okay? Goddamn it!

Anyway, it seems that my Tie'sha didn't notice anything suspicious. She is just gently patting my back and letting me stay buried in her chest. “My lady, I'm really happy you finally got your candy...” Tie'sha says, but there is something awkard in her voice.

“Why... do I get the feeling that there is a but coming. And not a well-kept Tie'sha butt, but an old man butt.”

There is silence. I just listen to Tie'sha's breathing for awhile. Ah, I could fall asleep like this. So peaceful and fuzzwarm. By the way, Fuzzwarm is definitely a legit word, alright? Even though I just made it up, if the overloli says that it's a word, it's a word, okay?! That's why, I'm currently treasuring my fuzzwarm alone time with a slightly hot and damp and heavy breathing Tie'sha. However, I sense a disturbance in the maid.

“He... he said he would be waiting in the sparring area.” Tie'sha says in a small voice. My mind goes blank for a moment, but it's pretty easy to put two and two together. The thing I don't get is why that old leather handbag wants to tango with me. All I wanted was to reclaim my candy.

Then, like lightning from a clear sky, it strikes me.

It's that.

You know? The cliché.

Yup. That cliché where you have to duel with the guild master to prove your worth. Maybe this is even a flag to raise my favorability rating with him, thus jump-starting my advance to the higher adventurer ranks.

Thing is that, at the moment, Alyce-chan has sugar-overload and wants to nap. But if I save my duel with the old man until its bedtime, then dangerous things might happen and the old man might explode all over Alyce-chan!

Please spare me from the old man explosion.

I guess there is nothing for it. Alyce-chan will just have to ghoul up and go deal with it now.

Thus, I reluctantly detach myself from my lovely fuzzwarm maid, turn to the door and take one mighty overloli step towards the door, confidently puffing out my chest to channel my inner bravado.

Then my face glows with a bit of warmth as I realize something.

”Uh, Tie'sha... where exactly is the sparring area?”