My clothes are all torn up and full of dust and dirt and my waist-long white hair is in dire need of a combing. Ah... I want a legendary super epic comb of knot neutralization to smooth out my hair. But of course, it's only a bit messy. It's definitely not bed hair, alright?! I wasn't doing anything suspicious with Grom in my dungeon.

Yes, let's go with that.

I'm going up to apologize to Tie'sha, so I am troubled. I guess I can't help it since I don't have any spare clothes here. Right now Alyce-chan is just a lowly proletarian since Grom has my huge treasure bag that I received from the Corneliáves house, so I can only change out of my dirty torn clothes later.

I didn't notice it at first, but the poor BDSM outfit has been almost completely destroyed. It's kind of a given since I had such a huge hole in my chest. Cheeky bastard, trying to make my flat chest even flatter by making it concave! The scoundrel. I resist the urge to raise an angry Alyce-chan fist to the heavens. For up there in heaven is system-chan. And system-chan trolled me by leaving me at level 99 instead of letting me level up to 100. Aaaagh.

I walk slowly up the stairs from the dungeon, my dungeon, the sanguine lair. So cool! Yes, let's focus on the positive part. I got myself a nice new toy. And I am not referring to my succubus tail, alright?!

As I walk up the stairs, my head spins with how to apologize, what will happen and so on. I planned on telling Tie'sha that I was undead eventually, but... I just never got around to it. I certainly didn't mean to hide it from her or anything, it just happened. I'm definitely not disingenuous, okay? Goddamn it! Besides, it shouldn't be such a big deal, right? Just because I am an undead, doesn't mean you can lump me in with the bonerlord lars rick. We are two very different kinds of undead. One is an evil overlord bent on world domination, and the other is stupid bonerlord lars rick.

Speaking of the goddamn it, I feel like I've been using it a lot lately. I like it more than the tehehe, the tehepero and even the ahegao double peace. Please excuse this habit, okay? Go..god... goddamn it! I can't help it. OKAY? Go... god.... damn it! I can't resist it. Alyce-chan is only human, so please forgive her for this minor transgression. Uhm, now undead, deceased but alive. What a strange world I live in.

Ahen.

I am a bit nervous about meeting Tie'sha after attacking her, but I bite my lip and squeeze my fists real tight to try and stop the shakes even though I am definitely not shaking and there's no way I'm nervous, okay?!

When I emerge from the dungeon, the red glow from the low hanging afternoon sun cuts into my eyes, slice and dice. For a moment, I am caught in a squint, but then activate my super Alyce-chan special byakugan eyes and forcefully widen them to the max. My super eyes adjust almost immediately. They are great after all. Fufufu.

In the distance near a wall of trees, there are two people. I vaguely remember them from the dungeon but I don't know their names. They are both alive even though I thought the redhaired guy would die after getting stabbed in the back. The girl with sea-weed hair must have some pretty good healing skills.

Ah, it seems they have noticed me. Let's try waving at them. The harmless Alyce-chan greeting.

I wave vigorously with my right hand. When I get no reaction, I wave with my left hand... but what's this? Why are they just staring at me? I try waving like the queen of England, but that also seems ineffective.

As a last resort, I make my arms soft like jelly and wave them like my arms are snakes, kind of similar feeling as the Corneliáves fatherlord owowo shaky handshake.

There's no reaction. They are like frozen statues.

The succubus tail probably added so much cuteness to Alyce-chan that it incapacitated them. Fufufu, I am the almighty overloli of unlimited cuteness with an adorability level of over 9000. I guess it was just too much for them to handle. It definitely had nothing to do with my waving technique, alright? There's absolutely nothing wrong with the Alyce-chan waving method, okay? Goddamn it!

While I am thinking up a plan to slightly reign in my cuteness so that I can talk with these two people, I approach them. Deep in thought, I fail to notice the exact moment when I arrived in front of them. I am just suddenly standing there right in front of the two adventurers or whatever they are. The convenient Alyce-chan lost in thought teleportation technique.

There's deep silence.

Then I hear a gulp and the sea-weed haired girl takes a step back.

Cocking my head to one side, I ask “Grom?”

The tall red-haired swordsman sucks in a sharp breath. “He... he chased after that maid.Th-they ran...” The red-haired guy trails off, pointing at the small dirt road leading out of this clearing. He seems overly nervous for some reason, but I don't know why. I saved them, so why are they afraid?

“Okay. I'm Alyce by the way. You?” I ask, trying to greet them normally. It's important to be polite, you know? Even though I want to chase after Tie'sha right away, I know my hairy meat pie has it under control. Probably.

Actually, I should go. I am suddenly nervous again.

Un. Let's hurry and go to Tie'sha.

The swordsman opens his mouth to reply, but I am already skipping past him in a sprint, my leather boots kicking up dust on the road behind me. I'm looking forward to changing out of my ruined BDSM costume and back into cute girl attire, but for now I am still in BDSM adventurer mode. Like that, I storm off following the tiny snaking path through the forest. It seems this dungeon exit is halfway up the mountain on some sort of peninsula-like platform? I don't know. Dungeons are supposed to be fantastical, weird and unpredictable, right? So it's probably okay. It makes sense... somehow...

This path is snaking down a little ways.

Off in the distance, I hear the gentle gurgling of a mountain stream. I continue running down the path, thankful for my extreme elegance making it possible to not trip over my feet. Yes, my feet are very fast and dextrous. They are making it so I can dash with expedience toward my goal of reclaiming my Tie'sha. I will not let her get away. Just like I won't let my hairy meat pie go. I am saving him for later, after all.

And as for Tie'sha, she will be the usual midnight snack... and my honeycake comrade. Therefore, I must obtain her. Alyce-chan GO go go! Gotta go fast.

Running like Sonic and cornering like initial Deja'vu, I channel the 90's and drift magnificently down the touge. Even though it's just a small winding footpath, in my mind I am going down Akina touge in my hachiroku.

Yes.

The sound of the stream is getting louder and louder as I follow the path, and eventually something that sounds suspiciously like a waterfall roars in the distance.

It's either a waterfall or a horse pissing really hard.

Maybe it's Grom. But... well, a waterfall is more likely. Although Grom has been holding it in a lot lately, but well. I guess I will see what is up ahead.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

The path seems to be leading towards the roaring rush. There must be a cliff close by aswell to facilitate the foaming drop of waterfall-chan, if that is indeed the source of the splashings up ahead.

Suddenly anxious, I dash forward even faster than before. There's no way Tie'sha would be like me in my past life, often contemplating whether I should face my fear of high places by jumping off a bridge or skyscaper, right? I managed to live so long without commiting suicide, but my end came suddenly when I was captured by Frank in his basement. It's strange how life works sometimes. Fufufu, I am like Obi-wan. Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine!

So Tie'sha is definitely not gonna jump off the cliff because of me, right? That would be so stupid. She is too fluffy with her ears and tail to die early. Definitely.

Still I run faster to try and reach Tie'sha and Grom. Grom is so fast, so there's no way he would be unable to catch Tie'sha. Still, I can't leave it to fate. I must dash!

Dash dash!

Finally I break through a clearing of trees. I can see the sky in front of me, and a waterfall off to the side, white foam bubbling on the crystalline surface of the crisp cold mountain water as it rushes down in a free fall. It's like my mouth when I am eating honeycakes, so I know Tie'sha is near. She must be.

My elfin ears pick up some sound waves in the distance, groovy. Except that the sound waves consist of shouting and crying. Oi, that ain't so groovy.

I commence the Alyce-chan dash dash dash towards the distant sounds in the hopes of catching myself a raw and unadulterated Tie'sha with which to soothe my broken soul. Or maybe I just want to nugi-nugi her fluffy ears more and eat honeycakes with her again.

I really must get around to that heist so I can get me some capital with which to buy honeycakes. The money from the Corneliáves house is obviously for my coven, you know?

Anyway, I reach Grom and Tie'sha, emerging from the trees around 40 yards from the cliff-san near the waterfall. The whoosh of the waterfall in the background does not distract me from the fact that Tie'sha is on the ground, on her knees and crying, hiding her head in her hands as she weeps. Grom stands over her, a hand on her back.

“I'm tellin' ye, it's true.” Grom says sounding more careful than usual.

Tie'sha sniffs and rubs at her teary face. “Im... impossible. Why do you keep saying that. It's nothing but wishful thinking.” Tie'sha looks up at Grom with red eyes as she says this.

I really have done something terrible. To make such a cute fluffy-eared maid cry with red eyes and sniffle so much. It's horrific.

Although I feel a sucking pinprick in my chest like I've been stabbed, I will not let anxiety reap my soul, for I am Alyce-chan the overloli, the contrarian's contrarian and the strange person's strange person, you know? How can I lose to mere anxiety?!

Taking a deep breath, I start walking slowly towards Grom and Tie'sha. It takes them a moment to notice me. Grom sees me first and lets out a huge sigh of relief.

“Ah lass, ye finally got here. Was afraid Tie'sha would just up and jump off...” Grom says.

When Tie'sha notices me, her beautiful golden eyes still glistening with tears go wide as her jaw slackens. “A... Alyce!” she shouts so loudly that it makes me start, and then before I know it, there is a cute animal-eared maid charging towards me with red eyes as she sniffles and cries.

All the anxiety that I felt before evaporates like a stone lifted from my chest, and I spread my arms wide to welcome my honeycake comrade. Tie'sha crashes into me sniffling and crying and squeaking and making other pathetic animalistic whimpering noises. We both topple to the ground in a heap.

“Alyce, you're alive. Alyce... Alyce! Alyce!” Tie'sha keeps repeating over and over again as she hugs me, burying her face in my chest and inhaling loudly. I guess she is making certain of her master's scent. I have heard that some animals can recognize their owner by scent. Not that I own her or anything, but still, she is sniffing me hard and it seems to be making her so comfortable that her body is turning into soft jelly-like goo.

Dop dop, I gently pat her head. “I'm sorry to have worried you Tie'sha. I'm sorry I attacked you... I'm sorry.” Oh no, my eyes hurt. The bloody tears are coming again. I try to stop the tears with a HNNG but it is no good. They are gushing forth just like the waterfall next to me.

Not! There's definitely no way that the strong cool Alyce-chan is crying, okay? Goddamn it!

Only a little bit, alright? Just a few tears. A few drops...

Hugging my Tie'sha close, I gently run my fingers across her ears in a nostalgic little nugi-nugi and enjoy the reaction of my maid squirming. Then I notice how Tie'sha's tail is swishing back and forth like a very happy dog, it's so cute and fluffy. I want to give her tail a thorough nugi-nugi as well, but I have to save that for later just like I am saving Grom for later.

Speaking of Grom, he is standing in the background and looking like he has to fart, with a red face and everything. The legendary master of holding it in has still not given up, it seems. Just how many days can he hold out, I wonder.

I am definitely not using Grom to distract from the fact that I am shaking and crying. That's why I gently detach myself from Tie'sha and walk over to Grom.

Since he is just staring at me with a red face, I puff out my cheeks. I may look a bit weird with trails of bloody tears running down my cheeks, but let's very forcefully ignore that, alright?!

Yes.

“So Grom, where's the bag? Your overloli requires a change of clothes, you know?” I ask. This seems to bring Grom out of his revelrie and he shakes his head a few times.

While Grom.exe is rebooting, I walk over to the waterfall and kneel down to wash my face. After all, I have to remove the bloody evidence.

Cupping my small pale hands, I scoop some water up and splash it on my face. After a few splishy splashies of crisp crystal water, I think most of the blood is gone. However, my hands are small and thus can only hold small portions of water, so for the final push to get rid of the evidence, I bury my head in the rushing waterfall stream.

This turns out to have been a bad idea.

Almost immediately, the stream attacks me, pulling me into the water with a loud plasque. Splishy-splashing around in the water, I try to reach the bank and drag myself up. Unfortunately, the stream is too strong and I get pulled along against my will.

Ahead of me, the sheer, steep drop makes me gasp. I really, really hate heights. But I'm definitely not afraid of heights, okay? You hear me?! I only dislike steep cliffs, you know?

Goddamn it!

Just as I am about to go over the edge of the waterfall, I feel a hand grabbing me and pulling me out of the water. It's a big hairy meat pie. If he is a huge hairy bear, then I am a little fish in the steam. I'm glad I got caught though. Little does the big hairy bear know that he is not in fact going to eat the fish he caught. I am going to be the one eating him! Fufufu, yes. By the way, that is not an innuendo. It's definitely normal to want to eat the hairy meat pie that you're saving for later, okay? Goddamn it!

My head swims dizzily as Grom puts me down on the ground.

The swoosh swooshing sensation in my head passes slowly, but it eventually goes away. Thankfully. It seems I am getting better at not fainting. Amazingly goodly great progress, you know?

But still... “I... I really don't like heights.” I say weakly. Although my power is quickly surging back to me, both Grom and Tie'sha are looking at me with wide eyes.

“Why are you staring at me like that? Cliff richards is a scary opponent, but I was saved from having to deal with it, you know?” I say, cocking my head to the side.

Grom coughs and averts his gaze. It reminds me of the time when I was eating candy apples in front of him.

“Lass... clothes...” Grom says, and I look down to find that river-chan has all but eaten my entire BDSM costume, what little was left of it anyways. This left me wearing only my soaked through panties and my black boots.

“This is very not PG-13, so I order you to immediately go bring me a change of clothes. Go!” I say, waving my hand at Grom.

He all but sprints away from me and I am left alone with my Tie'sha, wearing nothing but wet panties and thigh-high black boots. It is a very strange combination.

“T-tail?” Tie'sha asks.

“Fufufu, that's right. I got a tail in the dungeon. Isn't it awesome?” I say, moving it around and waving it in front of her. It's okay to be proud. After all, I used flesh manipulation to create this cute thing.

“My... my lady, that tail... looks like a succubus pleasure organ.” Tie'sha says, her face is becoming beet red as well, but I won't even contemplate the idea that she is like Grom. My Tie'sha is a pure and unadulterated angel, after all.

“Well... that's what it's called but let's ignore it.” I say. It's no good to get caught up in testing my tail. The sun is setting and I am only wearing panties. The wind is going woooosh and making my long white hair dance. What sort of strange Lion King cliff is this, with me standing here and looking cool in the wind. Although it's a bit hard to look cool wearing only panties, but surely the big black boots help, right?

Suddenly, Tie'sha turns toward Cliff richards and sucks in a breath.

“What's that?” She asks.

Biting my lip, I very carefully walk over to the edge of the cliff, one reluctant step at a time. I have to face my fears, you know?

Down at the base of the mountain, there's what appears to be a mass exodus of people. In the center, a lot of commoners with caravans and wagons and in a circle around them there's an army. Soldiers riding horses and other strange animals, brandishing swords and staves and bows. It's a people on the move, fleeing in a hurry. I can just imagine the shouting and the hustle and bustle, the sounds of their hurried retreat. But from what are they running?

Grabbing hold of Tie'shas hand to steady myself, I peer down the cliff and off into the distance.

What I see... is a boner-kun army on the march.

Ah, my old nemesis.

Yes, you heard that right. My nemesis is not system-chan or the fainting attacks. It is bonerlord lars rick.

A very large army of boners is heading my way. Those damned people below have pulled aggro and are dragging a huge pack of mobs towards me! I don't want my party to wipe here since we just got out of the dungeon. At least die with honor, scrubs. Don't kite a train of mobs to me! Guh.

Is what I would like to say... But perhaps I should help them. Even if only to eat them later. At least I can't let the lich guy have them. No, that's right. They are my meal. Mine.

But first, clothes. Although the wind is rapidly drying my panties, it is still dangerous. Just like with the honeycakes, one must have the appropriate attire for the occasion. And in case of a battle, I'm pretty sure it's no good to only be wearing panties and black boots. Even though Alyce-chan is very open minded and cool, I still have some standards to maintain. Namely my mysterious aura of awesome coolness.

Being mysterious and cool while only wearing panties into battle would be very difficult, so I am thinking perhaps I should wear the big black sith cloak.

Ah... I hope Grom returns soon, because at this rate, the people below are going to get caught by the boner army.