K̵̨̢̬̻̫͕̯͙͆̿͂̆̇Ở̶̥͓͍̓̈͊͂̆̿Ç̴͙͔̝̤̙̜̇͂̃͑̕Ḵ̷̬̈́̎͛̽̄̆̉̿͘ ̸̩͇̙̝̭̰̩͗̾͂̽͛̇̓͜͝͝Ȁ̴̢̱̬̺̖̝͓͔̬̅̿̐͌͐͘͝͝͠ ̷̳̥̙̖̯͉̥̺͖̔͗̏̿̋̎̕̕D̸̠̦̱́͑̐̔͂̑̂̕͝O̵͖͈̝̞͚̖̻͛͒̐͆̓͘O̸͈̹͇̞͙̮̺͈͖̎̇͜D̸͚̘̰̻͚͎̣̹̭͐̈̾̋̑̍͐͜͝͝L̸̥̩͚͚̘̲̦̔͂̔͗͛͗̃͐̍̕E̸͍̦͓̾͗́̓̉̈́̚͜͝͝ ̶̳̘͔̤̩̳̓̿̈́̉B̵̛̻̂̋̊͒̚͝L̴̛̠̝͖̯̞͔͔̫̀̀́͊̀̂́O̵̮͚̍̄́̎̚O̴̧̨̢̠͉̙̞̝̖̝̅͊̀́̽͝Ḑ̶̯̹̪̜̙͔̍̈́̽́͘̚͘͜͝ͅ ̵͈̾͂̈́̀̊͗G̸̢̪̬͈͕͈͔̱͍̐̎̈́͒́̕I̴̯̗̹̖̹̥͆̓̈́̀͌̀̒V̸̯̓̈́̀̀̉́͝Ë̴̟̙̺͔͚̰̦͓̳͛͌͜ ̸̢͖͈̠̆͑̚̚M̷̦̥̯̑̄̏͑̽͠Ę̵̬̤̬̤̜̲̜͆̊͆͝ ̸̼̥̮͉̞̓M̸̖̹͛O̶̮͓̲̤͓̤̣̩̤͒́͊̾̾̂͐R̷̛͚͍͖̣̗̩͚͍̣͜Ȅ̶͙̰͇̻̐̈́͌̓̇ ̴̼̲̓̇͗Ǐ̶̭̫̮̿̐̍́N̸̻̚͝N̸̢̤̩͉̱͍̺̱̹̓͑̏͛̍͗́Ơ̵͍̳̞͔̫͂̌̎̄́̓̃̀̃C̴̛̠̹̺̐̽͌͐͂̃̊̉͘Ẹ̶͓̗̏̍͐̉N̸̢̙͈͔̱̗̄̔̿̀̒͜͝T̶̨̡̬̱͚̳̈́͒̆͌͘ͅ ̶͎̎B̶̮͇̌̾͌̈́͂͒͐̎̕L̵͈̪̟̘͔̫̹̒̓̈́̆͗͆͘ͅͅO̴͈͕̅Ờ̸̤̼͚͎̹̗̫͎̠̅̇̄̑D̴͚̑̐ ̸͉̗̮̞͚̰̼͕͔̟̈̇͌̏̄̌̋̋̚D̷̟̺̑́Ȍ̶̥͍͖̈͑̑̚ͅÓ̵͕̫̒̌͗̂̎̕͠

FUUUCKING ROOSTER!

I wake up in the morning again with the deep desire to murder that bird.

Wait, what the hell is this warm feeling…?

I look down

My sheets are dyed red.

It looks like blood

I’m bleeding…

I’M BLEEDING!!!

I jump up from my bed and I begin screaming like a little girl (which I am).

"WHY THE HELL AM I BLEEDING!"

"IT WON’T STOP!"

Lingfeng, who had crashed over a pile of books last light at my place, runs into the room after hearing me scream.

"YOU! YOU’RE BLEEDING!"

"WELL DUH, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! DO SOMETHING!"

"UGH!!!"

We both panic like children!

Lingfeng grabs me into a princess-carry, and rushes out the door while carrying my whole body.

He storms into the Hall of Medicine, and yells for a Healer!

A stout middle aged lady wearing a doctor’s apron and face mask comes to our rescue.

"Help! Healer! The girl keeps bleeding and it’s not stopping!"

"IT’S NOT STOPPING!" I yell even harder! "Am...am I going to bleed to death?"

"No, of course you’re not!"

"Lingfeng...I’m scared!"

The lady Healer gives us a long displeased look, then pulls Lingfeng to one side for a quick talk.

"IDIOT! The poor girl is just getting her first lady time!"

"Her what time?"

The doctor whispers something into Lingfeng's ear and he turns red like a boiled crab from top to bottom.

"Oooh...so that's what the problem was. I’m so sorry, but since all of the ladies in my life have been cultivators I've never really had to face that…certain problem, so my mind never went into that direction."

"Tcheh, shows you what men know!"

*TLUNK!*

The medic tosses Lingfeng out of the building and slams the door behind him.

Well, this certainly was a problem that I did not think I would have to face so soon!

Menses. Mother Nature’s payback method for giving girls those extra Charisma bonus starting points and the [Man-Lure] passive skill.

But I guess that my body was indeed at the right stage of hormonal growth for that to happen. Even though I was a clone, I had been “sped up” to the correct age for that thing to start manifesting.

In truth, I was quite disturbed and even a little bit disgusted by the whole situation. Back on Earth, this was the sort of stuff that people tended to avoid talking about. Even when I was still a guy, I had not breached this subject that often with my Earth girlfriend, because she could explode in rather violent and random ways if she was in “the zone”, so I had learnt how to avoid stepping on that minefield.

It also suddenly occurred to me that I now possessed a body capable of giving childbirth. That left me with a deeply complicated mix of feelings. Giving life should never become something done casually.

Not to mention that I was still trying to figure out where my sexual inclinations had drifted off to.

I mean, I had been a fully heterosexual male until recently, so having my eyes wander off after pretty girls around the sect was not something that I had found very weird. What DID weird me out though, was the fact that I had begun to do the same for the guys as well. Whether it was a dainty little lass or a chunk of a hunk, I kind of liked them both now. So I guess I was Bi now? Does neutral even exist for such a thing? Is this why genders were such a complicated topic back on Earth? SheMan? HeWoman? How should I even identify myself? Attack Helicopter?

The healer lady gives me a pill which I promptly swallow, then begins to give me a long lecture about “the birds and the bees”, ancient cultivator version.

These guys have some really fucked up wrong ideas about where babies come from.

Next thing you know, I’ll get introduced to the stork delivery company.

Listen to this: “The woman becomes the cauldron where the yin and yang energies mix together to create new life.”

Should I even tell her that the process involved is a lot more “mechanical” than what she is imagining?

Why do these people have the tendency to transform everything into esoteric bullshit in the first place? Is that your fault, Timmy?

I cut off her ramblings, and get to the point that I actually care about.

"There have to be some sort of cultivation techniques out there to prevent this sort of thing from happening all of the time. I do not want to have to put up with this shit for the next few hundred years!"

"Well of course there are, but you need to be at a much higher cultivation realm to use them!"

Haha figures, it all boils down to cultivation levels again. Damnit!

After getting some medical tampons from the Healer lady, I proceeded back home.

Lingfeng was waiting for me with a worried look on his face.

"What did the Healer say?

"She said that it’s all natural, and it should stop by itself any minute now. And that you’re a moron."

"Ok, I’m sorry I panicked, but I never really had to deal with...cough...this...before."

"Seriously dude? And you’re like what? 35 or something?"

"150"

"Say what?"

"I’m 150 years old, not 35, you brat!"

"No...fucking...WAAAY!"

"Well, I did tell you that cultivating properly extends your lifespan!"

"Yeah but I never imagined...SO you keep...hmm...Wait a second, that only makes it worse. You’re 150 and you still have not encountered periods in your life? Man, you must be pretty lonely! Do girls not like you that much?"

"W...THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT! AND FOR THAT MATTER, I HAVE TO DRIVE WOMEN OFF OF ME WITH A FLY SWATTER! You would be surprised how popular someone from the Hero’s party can be! I just never had to deal with THAT in my life before, because all of the MATURE ladies that I have dated so far already had that shit under control. Did the Healer not tell you that there are cultivation techniques meant to prevent that?"

"Only after you left."

"Well, there are! I’ll get them for you next time I’ll go to the library."

"Ok, then can you help me with another issue? I did not want to ask, but I do not think I have a choice now."

"Sure, what?"

"Well, I need new underwear. And cotton tampons, towels, a wash basin and..."

"OK, stop right there, I get it. Go to the market and buy yourself whatever you need. Here, use this authority token. I will cover the costs. I knew from the very start that bringing you back to the sect would incur some financial penalties, but these are just some minor coin setbacks for normal everyday stuff, not even worth mentioning. You just get yourself what you think is necessary and I will pay back the costs at the merchants later on."

I go to the bathroom, then I begin to change and wash myself. I’m filled with sticky blood, yuck! For the first time after arriving in this world, I also take the time to “inspect” myself properly. This brings up another major question in my mind!

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Does this still count as molesting a loli, if I AM the loli? Shudder!

After I am done washing and changing, I leave Lingfeng and I head to the market. It takes almost the entire day for me to find all of the things that I need, and I abused Lingfeng’s token to its fullest. I had no idea when another occasion like this would come up, so I milked it dry.

With my newly-acquired backpack which was now filled to the brim with medicine, clothes, bandages, cotton swabs and tampons and many smaller household tools, I proceeded back towards my home.

Just as I arrived in front of my house, I saw two guys arguing. From something minor like one dude bumping into the other and forgetting to apologize, the atmosphere had gotten heated to the level where they were almost ready to punch eachother.

One of them is tall, brawny-large in a butch kind-of-a-way, has a square proeminent jaw like a gorilla, and keeps looking down on the other dude with an Arrogant Young Master sort of attitude.

The other guy is shorter, has an I-shit-you-not RED messy spiky hairdo that is a dead-giveaway for the dude’s role as a Protagonist of some sort, and a totally bitchy attitude to complement the whole setup.

I immediately know where this is going, so I dump my backpack on the ground to watch the proceedings.

Of course, in the end, Gorilla-Guy picks a fight with Mini-MC red-spiky hairdo. If that short dude isn't some sort of main character, I'll eat my own non-existent hat.

By the time the fists were flying, you'd be wondering “Shouldn't an Elder have intervened by now, to stop them?”

But no. These sort of minor scuffles were totally ignored, if not outright encouraged in the disciple section of the Sect. They happened so often all throughout the sect, that nobody even paid attention to them anymore.

It was just another way to toughen-up the younger generation.

If you couldn't dish it out, then at least you were definitely learning how to take it. These fights were still within the borders of “civility”, as far as cultivators went. As long as nobody killed each other, everything could be fixed by the miracles of Qi healing. It also earned the Hall of Medicine quite a nice income, because most of the people that got into fights like these were the Arrogant Young Master type, which could cough up the healing expenses without any problem.

The big guy kept trying to punch spiky-hair, but the little pipsqueak was really quick on his feet, and kept dodging all of the blows without any problem. Enraged further by the inability to hit the little guy, the big fellow was trashing everything in the environment around him, including fences, wooden posts and the sidewalk itself with his strikes.

Taking advantage of the one-time when the big guy had over-extended one of his lunges, spiky-hair suddenly spinned in place and delivered a roundhouse kick right to the face of the big fellow. The gorilla-guy instantly flew a few meters backwards through the air, then crashed through my house's fence and right into the side of my building, shattering it to pieces. He was, of course, knocked the fuck out.

Everybody else began to cheer for spiky-hair, but all I really cared about was the new gorilla-shaped hole inside of my fence and wall. Now who the hell is going to fix that? It's not me, is it?

I was not amazed even one bit that the main-character-like spiky-hair Guy had won the fight. This was just another standard occurrence of the Arrogant Young Master vs MC that the system usually cooks up.

I was actually glad that I had identified another person which I assumed was a “paid user account”. If I could redirect all of the nasty shit that the system had in store for me towards his way, then maybe he could take some of the burden off of my shoulders. Stuff like the looming possibility of a sect wipeout would involve the both of us, so getting him involved in the attempts at preventing that from happening during the early stages might prove to be a smart thing to do. I will have to look into that in the near future.

But for now, I had a human shaped hole in the side of my house and an unconscious “Arrogant Young Master” on my floor. I had to do something about him.

During the fall, he had scraped his left hand pretty severely against a wooden spike from the fence debris, and now he was bleeding all over my carpets. I dragged him out of the shattered wall plaster and into the living room. It is a good thing that I had just bought new medical tissues for my recent “girl problem”, because otherwise I wouldn't have had anything to bandage him with.

After a couple of minutes, his brain rebooted, and he came back to life.

"Get your hands off of me, peasant! What are you doing there? It hurts!!!"

He yanks himself away from my attempt at bandaging the wound.

"Stand still, you big lunk, you just cut yourself while going through my wall!"

"Unhand me cretin, less you taint me with your destituteness!" He struggles even harder.

I punch him.

"STAND STILL OR YOU WILL ONLY OPEN YOUR WOUND EVEN FURTHER!"

He stands there looking shocked in the face like he had just been paralysed by a taser.

"You! You hit me! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO..."

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?" I yell over him before he got to finish his standard Arrogant Young Master delivery punchline.

"YOU! HOW DARE YOU…"

He’s suddenly cut off by the arrival of Lingfeng who came bursting into the room, which had rushed to my place when he had heard about a fight.

"Trina, are you ok?!! I heard that some of the kids got into a fight again and...oh…"

"Hiii…!!! S...Sect Elder Lingfeng! W...what are you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing to MY NIECE?" He growled back at the gorilla-boy who was now grasping both of my hands tightly.

The numbskull instantly let go of me.

"Y...your n...niece? Shit, fuck! I had no idea, Sect Elder! I’m..."

"...sorry because I said all of that dumb shit, and I did not use my brain for even a moment before spouting arrogant crap toward a person that I did not even know about?" I pick up the line over him.

He chokes back a reply, and I see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in protest, some words forever lost into the depths of his throat.

"Now stand still and let me tend to that wound." I push him back down.

"If you keep having that stupid arrogant attitude, no girl is ever going to like you."

Suddenly, like I had struck a sensitive nerve, the guy gets all teary eyed and begins to pout.

"Waaah! I just wanted Shi to love me! Why did she have to kick me out like that! We’ve known eachother since we were kids! Such a cruel woman, trampling all over my heart!"

A shit, did this guy just get recently rejected? Is this why he was fuming so hard?

Fuck, is he ready to cry?

"BWAAAHAHAAAA!!!"

Aaand there go the waterworks. Yep, he’s fucking crying...what do I do now?

"Ok there big guy, I’m sorry I said that." I pat him on the shoulder. "I’m sure that if you try harder, increase your cultivation, become a better man and maybe get a little bit of plastic surgery for that face of yours, maybe this Shi lady will reconsider her stance."

"WAAARGHSOBSOB!!!"

He begins to cry even more. Damn it, I was never good at consoling other people!

I unwrap the bandages, and look at the wound again. Yeah, this is a nasty cut, It’s not deep, but it’s quite long.

"We should take him to the Hall of Medicine." I tell Lingfeng.

"We can’t. It’s closed for the night, and they are not going to open for a minor wound like this."

"You call this a minor wound?"

"Well...yeah…?"

"I dread to think what your “major” wound reference is at…"

"Missing limb?"

"Dude, you’ve spent too much time in the Hero’s party. Your point of “normalcy” has become severely twisted. Anyway, can’t you do anything about this? You’re a high level dude, right?"

"Nope, I only know how to heal myself. I never got into the “heal other” business because we always had Mina taking care of that shit most of the time."

"BAH! Figures…"

"Here." Lingfeng tosses me a couple of curved needles and a spool of silk string. "Stitch him up. It should suffice for now."

Ok, so I’m playing surgeon from now on. Whatever! Let’s get this done!

"Either of you got any alcohol? I need to disinfect this wound before patching it up somehow."

*Whoosh-Thunk*

A bottle of moonshine drops on the floor next to me.

Man, is he really some rich scion? He has a spatial ring!

"Will that do?" gorilla-boy asks me. "What do you need it for?"

"To kill off germs...I mean, poisonous Qi from the environment. If you knew anything about medicine, you would know that it’s fucking everywhere in nature. One scrape, and that shit gets into your bloodstream then starts multiplying, and then you suddenly die from some sort of a plague."

"Poisonous Qi? Multiplies by itself?"

Gorilla-boy begins to look all around him like the entire world had suddenly become filled with poisonous vipers. Even Lingfeng is giving me a doubtful look.

"Yeah, I mean, how do you think you catch diseases in the first place? Bad Qi gets inside of you from open wounds, or from stale water, or rusted weapons, or even dirt itself, then it multiplies inside of your blood stream and then BAM! next thing you know, you’re dead!"

"EEEK! REALLY?"

"Really?" Lingfeng mimics him too.

"100% sure. I can even prove it to you, but it takes time."

"No, no, I’ll believe you! But how does the booze help with that?"

"Alcohol kills the germs...I mean, dissipates the Bad Qi if it comes in contact with it. It’s not a guaranteed thing, but it makes it much, much better. And NO it does not work if you just drink it. It has to be applied straight to the wound."

I pour the moonshine all over his gash.

"HISSSS!!! AAAAUCH!!! THAT REALLY STIIINGS!!!"

"I know it hurts, but would you rather get infected and die from some unknown disease instead?"

"N..no!"

"Good. Now stand still, I gotta work the needle."

It takes about 10 minutes to get the whole length of the wound stitched together. I thought that I did a decent job at it, since I followed Earth Mom’s instructions, who used to be a doctor and had shown me how to stitch wounds using stuffed christmas turkeys as target dummies when I was a kid. Linfeng gave me an approving look.

Gorilla-boy kept his mouth shut and put up a brave face all throughout the procedure, even though I knew that it must have hurt like hell.

I finish my "healing" by adding a couple of layers of bandages on top, as he was getting ready to leave. He bends down, thanks me for patching him up, apologizes again for wrecking my house, and says that he will send repairmen to fix it up next morning.

I tell him to change the bandages to fresh new ones tomorrow morning, and to wash himself clean with soap, especially on the hands, because that also kills some of the Bad Qi from nature.

After he’s gone, Lingfeng pulls me to one side.

"Ok, what the hell was that shit about Bad Qi from nature? Were you serious or were you just enjoying torturing the young lad?"

"Tort...WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT! No, I’m 100% serious. You guys live in too much ignorance. You have no fucking ideea about bacteria, viruses or fungi, and blame it all on “magic” or on “Mom Nature” taking a crap all over you!"

"Bacteria? Viruses? What are those? And where do you know all of this shit from?"

"Well, you know, from the “default package” from the “other” sect." I point towards my head.

"You mean from…"

"Yeah…"

"And how sure are you that this info is correct? It might be there as some sort of mind manipulation strategy that..."

I cut him off

"You’re thinking too much. It’s just plain facts of life. Do you acknowledge that the sect was superior to many others from a technological point of view?"

"Yes, sure, it was one of their strong points but I don’t see how..."

"Then why are you so surprised that they knew some strange shit that you had no idea about? For fuck sake, those dudes were able to COPY PEOPLE! Can YOU copy people? Do you even know where to start?"

"Erm...no...You’re right." Lingfeng looks dejected. "SO, what are those Bad Qi things again?"

Huff...Ok, lecture time.

I’m glad to be the one teaching for a turn.

During the next hour, I give the abridged version about how the bacteria, viruses, fungi and the immune system works to Lingfeng, and he listens to me with rapt attention. At some point he even begins to write down some of the stuff I kept telling him about, as befitting of his scholarly nature.

"So you're saying that these tiny creatures that we cannot even see with our normal eyes can crawl inside of us and use our own bodies as hosts to multiply themselves and then kill us from the inside? That sounds like a demonic technique if I ever heard one!"

"Then Mom Nature is a demon for sure!" I toss it back at him.

"Wow...I need some time to process all of this…"

"Good. And remember to wash your hands. I meant it when I said soap can get rid of some of this shit."

"Right…"

Lingfeng departs, and I'm left staring at the gaping hole in my wall.

Ah well, fuck it, I’ll handle it tomorrow.

I’m too tired of this shit at this moment and my belly still hurts.