Once we were about half-way through our journey, we finally arrived at a town that held an Adventurer’s Guild Branch inside of it, a town that was simply named Jennet, after its blooming donkey trade.
The whole town had simply specialised in rearing all sorts of donkey breeds, to fit the necessities and desires of any would-be customers, so every corner and every street was littered with the braying presence of the aforementioned beasts of burden.
Even the Shops and Facilities were named with amusing Donkey-themed names, including our current lodging for the evening which was named the “Screaming Donkey Inn”
After we rented a couple of larger rooms, one for us girls and one for the boys, I decided to go out on a stroll for a little while, because I had smelled something nice coming from some of the nearby street-vendor stalls when we had come into town, and I wanted to “investigate” the place properly.
I found out that the smell was coming from a barbecue stall that sold something similar to burgers, albeit filled with tenderized, well seasoned and well filleted donkey meat. A normal person from Earth, especially if they came from any of the western countries, might have found the literally-eating-ass a rather dubious endeavour, but I knew that even back on Earth some provinces from China had specialised in cooking the meat of the animal properly, so it wasn’t such a rarity. Therefore, I just strangled my Earth-derived prejudices, and simply ordered one of those donkey-burgers to go.
The burger turned out to be quite tasty, since the meat was fresh because the town had an excess of the braying creatures, and the animals had been carefully given proper fodder to disallow any of their meat to gain any game-y flavor, so it felt more like beef rather than wild critter. A heavy dose of spicy seasonings also helped drown out any of the other weird nuances, which had made the whole experience rather unexpectedly pleasurable.
While munching on my donkey-burger, I was wondering whether the Buddhists of this world had anything against eating meat, and if I wasn’t somehow making some sort of big blunder by savouring my meal like I currently was.
I remembered that back on earth Buddhists Monks were usually vegetarian, but weren't particularly restricted from eating meat as long as they had not been involved in the killing of the meat-source animal in any way themselves, which was applicable to my current case, since I never saw any donkey die or scream while being sacrificed, not had it ever been killed for me specifically.
It was just “general meat meant for consumption” that I was chewing on, so it would have been silly to be hesitant about eating it. I mean, the poor meat-source donkey was already dead, I had never had anything to do with its death, and it would be a shame to just let the meat go to waste.
Paying for the meat might have been an issue though, as it could be considered as compensating someone else for having taken another life, which was somewhat of a nono, but the money I had given to the stall vendor would most certainly help feed his family, so again, it wasn't a WRONG thing to do. ASS usual, everything came in shades of donkey-gray.
Still, I made a mental note in my head to ask Lingfeng about the real customs and limitations of the Buddhists in this world once I got back to the inn, since I suspected that some deviations from the Earth-counterpart doctrines had been inevitable when Buddhism had been "ported" to this planet.
When you subsist in a world filled with monsters that will try to eat your face at some point in your existence, the “not killing any sentient beings” rule will be rather impossible to uphold in real-life scenarios. And I knew for a fact that there WERE indeed quite a few Monks who were also renowned for being high-level Adventurers, even if they were famous only because of their Healing and Exorcism Arts. Those guys most certainly “partook” in the killing of dangerous monsters on a regular basis alongside with the other members of their adventuring parties, so I did not know what to think anymore.
As I was ruminating on those thoughts while admiring the rather hilarious statue dedicated to the town’s Founding Father located in the plaza that hosted the barbecue stalls, which depicted the Former Mayor immortalized in bronze while getting hoofed in the head by an angry donkey, I spotted with the left corner of my eye a strange hunchbacked creature that was urging a drove of donkeys down the street towards the marketplace for tomorrow’s sale with oblivious boredom. Even though he was trying to hide it with some ragged clothes and a yellow hood, the dead-giveaway metal arm and the weird eye-replacement narrowed the figure to a single person that I knew of, so I immediately abandoned whatever was left of my burger and ran down after him.
"Yi Gore! I know that's you! I'd recognise your twisted little midget figure anywhere!"
Immediately after hearing me shout after him, the midget instantly switched gears and dashed away towards some back alleys at top speed while screaming like a lunatic.
*AYEEEE!*
"Stop running, you little pest! Don’t make me have to chase down after you!"
*EEEEEEGH!*
*Bodytacle Crash*
"Get off of me, you crazy Monk lady! I have no relation with any of you Buddhist freaks!" Yelled the little midget while still wiggling like a worm in the dirt. "Unhand my...fffss...hmmm...hhhrr…*Bzzt eyescanner scouter zoom* UUUGHH...Cough...Trina, is that you, Girl? What the hell happened to your hair! How the heck are you even alive in the first place? I thought that the Hero's Party had killed you and all of the other clones already!"
"Yeah, well, maybe the rest of them, I don't know. I think I'm the only one that’s left alive out of the whole batch. And no, I did not get killed by the party of the Hero, I got rescued by them instead!"
"Rescued? Seriously? Pfffhah! How come? What did you do, use the seduction manual on them all?"
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"Ugh...that’s...a long story. Get off the ground and let's go somewhere else and talk about it. People are beginning to stare."
"Aw...Right...Cough...lead the way then." Replied the midget as he picked himself up from the ground and began to dust off his clothes.
"What the heck are you doing out here anyway, you little pest?"
"Well, after the Sect was destroyed and Fury Bone got killed, I saw it as the best opportunity I’d ever have in my life to get my ass out of the whole “Demonic Sect” situation, so I simply stabbed Elder Xin in the back until he moved no more and then I stole his flying sword and took off."
"You mean the tall suntanned guy that usually dressed himself in green?"
"Yes, that one. I hated that guy! He always hit me with that stupid paper fan of his! Anyways, after I had fetched myself a new ride, I simply used the cloaking mechanisms that are built within my arm and then ran away from the Sect as fast as I could. I crash-landed outside of this town when I ran out of Qi after a while, and then I got rescued by some youngsters which found me dangling upside-down from a tree. I've been living quite a peaceful life inside of a donkey-rearing farm ever since, but now that you have shown up, everything is going to get ruined, isn't it?"
"Well, not necessarily. I am also trying to remain inconspicuous." I pointed at my rather shiny bald head."It's why I have “joined” a Buddhist temple. Nobody seems to pay too much attention to these Monk guys anywhere they go."
"So, you’re alone in the world now? How did you get away from the Hero’s Party?"
"I didn’t...well...it’s complicated."
Yi Gore suddenly froze in place.
"I’m not sure that I want to go with you anymore, until you elaborate on that subject."
"Ugh...you’re such a gutless little pipsqueak, you know? Nobody’s going to hurt you! Lingfeng isn’t an irrational guy. I’m sure you two will get along just fine once you explain your “kidnapped orphan” circumstances to him."
"Well, me being a coward is what has kept me alive so far! Lingfeng? As The Zephyr himself? What are you doing in his company, especially here in this donkey’s ass of a town? THAT GUY IS DANGEROUS!"
"That’s true, but he has also pulled MY Ass out of the fire quite a few times already. I also saved his windy behind a couple of times Ass well, so we trust eachother implicitly. If you want any chance at rehabilitation in the future, I suggest that you try and talk to him first, before disappearing again like an invisible chicken. Which reminds me, I also found your Immortal Rooster experiment."
"You DID? I thought I’d lost that damn critter forever when it ran away the first time! Stupid Elder Xin, ignoring to lock the cages properly! Where’s it at? I miss having an inexhaustible source of chicken legs and wings!"
"Back at the Screaming Donkey Inn, with the rest of my group. They are a weird bunch, just so you know. You should come and meet them all!"
"Fine...whatever. But at the first sign of trouble, don’t blame me for getting nasty and running away!"
"There won’t be any trouble...at least, I hope so?"
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And of course there was trouble!
The moment Yi Gore entered the bar located on the first floor of the Screaming Donkey Inn with Trina, loud crashing noises could be heard, chairs and tankards were flying all over the place, and people fought each other everywhere, including one instance of an inebriated Carmine who was beating other people up in a drunken rage.
The moment Yi Gore had laid his eyes on her though, he had felt the tiny heart inside his chest stop for a moment, as Cupid's arrow pierced right through it. It was instant “Love-At-First-Sight”! The world slowed down, as everything around the dwarven lady seemed to simply fade away in Yi Gore’s mind, as she became the sole object of his attention.
She was...perfection in motion!
Her immaculate messy blood-red hair as she screamed bloody vengeance!
Her fluttering eyelashes as she dodged any incoming fists!
Her strong arms that she used to punch the opposing human's teeth out!
The wide hips and solid legs, as she spun the body of another human around before throwing him against the wall without mercy!
Her mountain peaks heaving up and down from the effort, but still remaining so cleverly disguised under her long, luscious beard!
Oh...the long, bushy red beard...so heavenly in an appearance!
And that cute, raspy female voice, like sandpaper on the eardrums, and the wonderful dwarven accent?
She ticked all of Yi Gore's boxes that he never even knew he had in the first place!
Suddenly, Yi Gore felt himself like being lifted up by the wings of angels, as he rushed to Carmine's side then dropped onto one knee while holding up his Spatial Ring in front of her and yelling:
"Oh, Lovely Goddess from heaven above, please Marry Me!"
*AYEEEEE!* Carmine instantly punched Yi Gore like a sandbag, confusing him in her drunken stupor for just another assailant, as she instantly sent the midget flying straight through one of the windows and out of the inn in the blink of an eye.
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I immediately ran outside of the inn to check on the little pipsqueak, only to see him lying on his backside, staring at the sky with a stunned look on his face and muttering words to himself.
"So...perfect! I think I am in love! All of the diagnostics of my internal systems seem to point towards that fact! Who was that Angelic figure I just saw?"
"Ugh...you mean Carmine? Are you sure that all of your sensors are functioning properly? I mean, she's not ugly or anything, but at the moment, she simply just looks like any other dwarven male to most of us folk."
"She looks like that only to YOU humans and stupid Elves! To me, she's like a piece of the Sun that has been stolen from heavens and given shape in dwarven form!"
"But, aren't you human as well?"
"Incorrect. I am Half-human, Half-Dwarf. My mother was a dwarven lady. I can remember even now the warmth and comfort of her luscious beard, when I would snuggle against her as a child. Those are some memories that the sect was never able to take away from me!"
"So...you like her because she looks like your mother?"
"Aw Hell no! She is nothing like my mother! My mum was an ugly old hag compared to her, but she...she is like a Goddess incarnate! 11/10 ! At least, that's what my dwarf genes are telling me!"
"No kidding? That good? Then, how long are you going to just lay down there on the earth and do nothing? If you like her so much, shouldn't you just go back in and introduce yourself again? You know, preferably without a marriage ring in hand? That thing tends to scare off most potential partners."
The only thing that I could do was take Yi Gore's words for granted, as we walked back inside of the inn once more, since I had no idea exactly how dwarf aesthetics functioned, because the only perspective from which I could analyse her was that of a human being, with the normal human-like “tastes” attached to my perception.