Hiss…
Bluurb...
Hiss…
I come around and I find myself surrounded by darkness.
“Hey, who turned off the lights?” I think to myself. I was just about to log on into my game and complete the latest event, when suddenly everything went dark.
Aww...and I even had some extra points saved!
Wait...I can't feel my body! Aaargh! Why can't I feel my body?
No, wait...there it is. I can feel my toes! And my fingers!
I just can't seem to be able to...move any of them...
Did I get paralyzed or something? Am I having a stroke?
Noo, Gandalf up in Heaven, I am too young to diet!
Hiss…
Bluurb...burb…
*Jingle*
Initializing…
Huh? What was that? Am I hearing voices now?
*Jingle*
Installing System onto new host body
10%...
25%...
50%...
75%...
100%...
System successfully installed.
*Jingle*
Welcome, [Currently Unnamed Host].
As per contract D25/7-65g89slot7, you have been reincarnated into another world, after your [Planned Tourist Vacation On A Planet Without Magic], [Earth, Version 68^94^7] suddenly expired.
WHAT?
Fuck! What the hell is this text before my eyes and the voice inside of my head? Is this some isekai sort of scenario? Did I just get hit by Truck-Kun without knowing? I never even saw any headlights!
Ok Me, calm yourself.
Let's think this through…
Hiss…
Bluuurbrb…
Damn it!
...
*System warning sound*
Your externally pre-purchased system modules will be installed immediately:
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Module [I am the master of my own destiny!] has been installed. Deducted 75000 Karmic Points from your oversoul account.
Description:
System has been disabled from screwing around with the decisions made by the [Host], whether they be good or bad.
System cannot sabotage or mind control the [Host].
System will work for the benefit of the [Host] without any ulterior motives.
You will be able to take the System and all gained bonuses that are not dependent on the World itself outside of the Planetary Boundary, if you somehow manage to leave the surface and go to outer space.
Module [Uncapped and Unrestricted] has been installed. Deducted 15000 Karmic Points from your oversoul account.
Description:
Removed skill, attribute and level caps. Stupid restrictions like “clerics cannot use swords” and Item Level Requirements have been removed. Everything you’ll be able to get your hands on, you will be able to use, with the exception of world-generated special-assigned critical quest items. The sky's the limit! Woohoo!
Module [No Parlo Americano] has been installed. Deducted 2500 Karmic Points from your oversoul account.
Description:
You will be able to automatically understand any spoken or written language that you hear or read. No need to carry that dictionary around anymore!
Module [Snarky Remarks Companion System] has been installed. Deducted 300 Karmic Points from your oversoul account.
Description:
With the latest Snarky remarks companion system, you will never, ever feel alone again!
System: Warning! Your oversoul account is running low on funds!
System: See the closest Omniversal Bank to refill your account.
Module [Increased Experience, Attribute and Skill Gain] has been installed.
Description:
You now gain bonus Xp., Attr. and Skl. gains for all of your actions. Bonus varies with character level, context, and general fatigue.
This is a default module for external guests, so it comes free of cost.
Module [Basic Self-Modable Game-Like Interface] has been installed.
Description:
Your myriad of personal statistics, crunched down to simple numbers that even a moron could understand.
Can be altered and customised by the [Host].
Warning! The planetary-management system is not responsible for any damage that you may cause to this module if you manipulate it without knowing what you are doing.
This is a default module for external guests, so it comes free of cost.
*Jingle*
From now on, the local planetary management system is going to be taking care of you.
Thanks for using [Gods-R-Us] Omniversal travel agency. Enjoy your trip, and have fun!
*Company jingle*
*Gowds awr uuuuusss, cha jaaaang, briiiing!*
---------------------------------------------
*Jingle*
System: Welcome to Planet Pangerra. Your external modules will be enabled after character creation.
Your contractually desired class is: [Destined Hero]
Warning! Strongly incompatible external modules have been found as outside pre-purchases!
There are no current available slots for your desired class choice!
Recalculating...
Your class has now been recalculated and reassigned.
You are now a: [Low Level Evil Minion Clone]
Hiss…
Blobbll…
...
Wait, WHAT!? Are you fucking kidding me? I demand a refund!!!
*BZZT!*
System would like to remind you that a no-refund policy was stated in the contract that you have signed with our company.
*BZZT!*
[Refund unavailable]
…
Well shit!
…
Think “System: Help!” inside of your mind to bring up the [Help Menu] for further assistance.
GAH!
Ok, let's try this...
Humhumhum…System: Help!
System: The system cannot help you at this point in time, because you are so screwed, lol!
Damnit, I shouldn't have bought that last module!
…
…
Ok, what the hell am I supposed to do now?
Hiss…
Blurbbb…