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Everybody here is a cultivation idiot.
Chapter 59 - Part 2: I Spy

Chapter 59 - Part 2: I Spy

Since I wanted to know better what the hell was going on, some scouting was required so I told all of the flight-capable people to go grab some stealth aid.

Yi Gore came out of the Smithy and got picked up by Lew on his flying sword, and Nobi went to the inn and picked up Rheina the huntress.

Once we had our scouting team ready, I got on Lingfeng’s personal sword, and we all flew together towards the old Dungeon that was located a couple of miles Northways, buried somewhere between the hills.

The former Dungeon had an entrance that was hidden by a cascade of green vines which were dangling in front of a cave opening, but Lingfeng told us that inside the cave itself there used to be an Imperial outpost that had long been abandoned, leaving only the ruins of some stone buildings as a testament of any humanoid intervention in the area.

As to why the hells the Imperials had thought it was a good idea to build an Imperial fort INSIDE of a cave system was beyond me, but I blamed the whole thing on System shenanigans. I mean, how else would you get a creepy “Dungeon” setting in a place like this?

We landed a few hundred meters outside of the cave entrance to avoid being detected. We had flown only a few meters above ground anyway and had stayed below the canopy of the trees since we did not know if our “spy” was alone or if an entire group had discovered us. If there was more than one person, we bore the risk of running into some sentries, so we had to be aware of those as well.

Once we were on the ground again, I gathered all of our stealthy people for a quick mission recap.

"Ok, listen. As you might have already been told, someone has been sneaking around the village with some sort of a stealth skill. We used the Mayor’s dog to sniff out the culprit’s trail, and it led to this place. Everyone should assume that at least one person in there is a high-level Cultivator, because you don’t get an invisibility skill as a Level-Up reward from the System unless you have been the sneaky type your entire life. I hope I don’t have to tell you why those types of people are usually not the kind you want to make friends with."

"HEY! I resent that!" Rheina puffed her cheeks while she was stringing up her bow for combat.

(*Cough*)

"Company not included, of course." (Even though Yi Gore was a former cultist, Nobi was a cutthroat Ninja-dude, and Rheina was a gambling addict and a kleptomaniac) I thought to myself. "Anyway, when you go inside, keep your eyes open for any sentries, traps, and other nasty surprises. We don’t know what’s inside of that cave, so nobody should take any useless risks. In and out, as fast as possible. Just find out the general headcount if there's more than one person in there, and don’t underestimate their levels of awareness.

"If the Cultists were able to clear the former Dungeon all on their own and then steal its core, it means that they had at least one combat-oriented person at over level 35, since that was the maximum level the Bosses had in this place. In reality, it’s probably more like multiple 40+ people, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to dislodge the Dungeon Core from its place.

"And another thing. When you stare at any of them, please think only happy thoughts. Think about how you want to praise them, how sexy they look, what a big weapon they have, and any other positive things."

"Ugh...Why? That’s stupid! They’re the enemy!" Rheina complained.

"Because if I could figure out that there was a person sneaking around inside of the village from only a mere gut feeling, then you should assume that someone in that cave might be able to do the same. Emanating murderous intent would only attract attention to yourselves, so you have to replace the “I want to bash their skulls in” type of thoughts with “I want to admire them so much, they look so huggable”, if only to fool your own existential aura into another state of being."

"The girl is right." Nobi nodded. "One of the things that I have learned throughout my “career” as a Stealthy Bodyguard is to avoid making my presence known. Try and think of yourself as being a part of the landscape. Become the tree, the rock, the barrel. And don’t emit any hostile intent towards your perceived enemy. Personally, simply I like to think of my targets as “walking paper origami dolls” that move around, just waiting to be “unfolded” by my daggers."

"Ugh...while that might be a good way of thinking, that’s going to most certainly give me a few nightmares, Mr. Nobi." I shuddered back at the Bodyguard Assassin’s creepy description.

"S...sorry."

"Don’t worry about it. Anyway, you heard the man. Blend in with the environment, don’t take any pointless risks, and run away at the slightest sight of danger. Especially you, Rheina, since you have to re-appear every 2 to 3 minutes to catch your breath again. You’re at a slight disadvantage compared to Mr.Nobi and Yi, who can remain stealthed for longer periods of time, so you should remain closer to the entrance."

"Right...I will."

After all of the scouts acknowledged my warnings, Nobi went *poof* and vanished, Yi Gore turned a dial on his arm until he became 100% transparent, and then Rheina took a deep breath and disappeared into thin air. How the hell they were all doing that, I still had no clue, but I could bet that the Mother System was simply bending the visible light spectrum around their bodies since their clothes and gear were disappearing together with them.

It took them more than half an hour to scout out the entire structure of the former Dungeon since all of our guys progressed very slowly and carefully, but once they were out we finally got an approximate headcount of the people inside, and it wasn’t a nice finding.

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Rheina had counted 5 people in a room that looked like a makeshift kitchen, Yi Gore had stumbled upon about 20+ people who were either sleeping, drinking, or fornicating in a shared bunk bed dormitory, and Nobi had counted another 30+ who were sharing a meal near a large bonfire near the center of the Dungeon. Besides that, two large and intimidating red demons had also been spotted patrolling around the perimeter and a prison cell filled with what looked like many bodily remains of former prisoners had also been found.

"FUCK! What about their levels? And who are they in the first place? What faction are we dealing with here?" I couldn’t help but curse.

"From the robes, they’re all probably Blood Cultists. Everybody is high 20’s to mid 30’s. Their garbs are identical to those of the Cultists that got caught escaping from the Dungeon." Nobi replied.

"Dammit! That’s not something we can deal with while having zero losses on our side! Even if we get some of our highest level Guardsmen over here, we’re still short on numbers. We can’t allow a bunch of bloody Cultists to get an upper hand on us, or to attack us first. Bleh. Does anyone have at least any sort of good news?"

"I do. I found our sneaky guy." Rheina raised her arm. "He looks like some middle-aged bald guy with a ship-anchor tattoo drawn right on top of his head where his missing hair used to be, so you can’t confuse him with someone else. He was in the kitchen trying to pilfer some ham while invisible, but got tripped by the cook when she saw a half-hovering ham trying to run away. You should all be careful around that lady, she looked mean as hell as she kept yelling profanities at the uncloaked invisi-scout. She also has this big menacing cleaver that could cut a man in half in one swing, and I would not want to be on the receiving end of that."

"Ah...that’s probably Shen-Ji, the thief. He and his brother always steal food from Old Lady Yan. That’s the cook, by the way. Hehe… I remember this time when they...UGH. FUCKFUCKFUCK! GODS DAMMIT!...I know who these guys are!" I immediately slapped myself back to reality. It was the fucking god-damn transplanted root from the old Cultist that was feeding info into me, and it was messing up my head!

"What’s wrong?" Lingfeng gave me a worried look.

"My transplanted root. It contains memories of these guys. A LOT of memories. They are the companions of that former group who assaulted the Temple. I even know each of their names and faces. Fuck me sideways, this is a weird feeling. Shit. Shit! BUT!" I slapped myself over the face again. "I can work with this. I have an idea."

"Ugh...This is going to become another one of those crazy schemes of yours, isn’t it?" Lingfeng immediately complained.

"Umm...probably?" I grinned back at him. "Anyway, we have to get back to the village as fast as possible and drop by the Smithy. I got a zombie Hollow Cultist that I need to “activate” as an infiltrator."

Immediately, I flew back to the village together with Lingfeng and Lew, while the others remained put, to keep an eye on the cave’s entrance. Fortunately, I had added everybody to my “raid chat” before we had even left the village in the first place, so even if we were now away, the scouting party was still able to message us with any news updates instantly.

I landed in front of the Smithy, and rushed in. Carmine was still pounding iron with a concentrated look on her face when I came into the room.

"Carmine, love, drop what you’re doing for a second, please. I need your help with something urgently."

"Sure...what’s up?" The dwarven smith placed down the metal billet she was shaping.

"I need you to fix this robe and to craft another one that looks exactly the same but would fit my body’s shape instead. Unfortunately, all of the other robes got burned together with their owners, so this is the only one I have left." I handed her the old Cultist’s robe which was missing a sleeve and half the cloth material from one side, where the Ancient Evil had gibbed the old Cultist and had left him with a missing hand and leg.

"Ugh...isn’t this a Blood Cultist robe? Why do you want an EXTRA one of these things? "

"Because we found some Cultists lurking nearby, and I’m going to go and have a “friendly chat” with them."

"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" Both Carmine and Lingfeng yelled at the same time.

"Now, now, don’t be hasty. You need to remember that I have all of the memories of the old Cultist inside of my head because of my root transplant, so I’ll be just fine. I’ll simply pretend to be his Alchemy apprentice, and everything will be ok. As long as I know their coded messages and secret hand signs, I’ll be able to pass off as a real Cultist. By the way, where’s Mr. Vacant, I need him to make an appearance as well."

"Out back, hauling some crates with materials from the Dungeon. He’s actually been quite useful for such a back-breaking job. It’s a pity that the only other thing he knows how to do besides that is to groan like a zombie."

"Well, he IS a soul-less flesh construct, so I don’t know what you expect out of him."

Once Mr. Vacant was recalled inside the Smithy, I got a Timmy prompt.

Timmy: To enable the feature of giving remote commands via party chat to Mr. Vacant, you must first add him to your Pet slot.

Do you want to add Mr. Vacant as your pet?

Ok, sure, Timmy. Pet slot him.

Timmy: Mr. Vacant the Hollow is now your current Pet. Since you are not a Beastmaster, all of your Pet slots are now full. Unlock the Subclass if you want to have any more minions that you would be able to directly control.

Why the hell is Vacant considered a PET, Timmy? He’s a Hollow! Shouldn’t he simply get counted as a summoned minion like those of the necromancers or warlocks?

Timmy: Because unlike skeletons, zombies, demons, and similar cannon fodder, he is somewhat still alive. While he IS soulless, his body is still made-up of living flesh and blood, hence the Pet designation. He is a PLAIN-MEAT SHIELD, not a MAGICALLY CONJURED MEAT SHIELD.

Bleah. Maybe you’re right, Timmy.

"Ok, Mr. Vacant. Sorry about this, but I need to make this look real." I pulled out a sharp dagger while apologizing to the former Cultist, and I began to slowly carve up the flesh near his throat while also continuously tossing my Regen spell on him, to give him a nasty-looking scar that would explain his limited vocal abilities.

The resulting gash looked like a bloody scabbed-over wound and it simply looked like someone had slit his throat recently, leaving him unable to speak properly.

After that, I tested the limits of the System-made “fake” Hollow soul inside of him, and I found out that it could indeed understand and execute orders that I gave to it over the party chat, like for example [Speak the following words while using a harsh voice: “Hello, Fellow Blood Cultists!”]

"UUggh...Hhhhelloo...Fellow...Blood...Uggh...Cultists.(*Lurch Moan*)"

"Ok...Good enough," I thought to myself.