S1E9 - Eating seeds to increase productivity_Everdreams of Kaladerra NG+8

S1E9 - Eating seeds to increase productivity

----------------------------------------

Forbidden Rune

"One reaching towards the vast horizon has no need for special invitation

One traveling an open road has no use for specific directions

We trace the path with our own will - that we have

All we need from now on is enough wisdom to accept what's waiting us at the end of it"

A rare example of still-intact tablet containing a writing in what is considered to be the first language in the history of Kaladerra. Most of those monuments were destroyed during the reign of Holy Kingdom, since, according to the doctrine of the Salvation Church, this language was derived under the influence of the Demon King. Thanks to Inquisition sparing no efforts in wiping all traces of it from anywhere that they could reach, most remaining fragments contain one letter at best. Each still readable on its own, but meaningless until combined in a proper order

One could certainly use some directions on how to put this puzzle back together

----------------------------------------

...I'm pretty sure it was something very stupid. I mean, I've already given up on getting it, but that argument is completely ineffective against this useless sense of urgency to remember what "it" actually is that's definitely going to keep bugging me all the way back to the dorm. Some magic device? Artifact? Sex toy? Silly T-shirt? Wait, clothes - it had to do something with clothes! Or sex toys? Cheat memory provides, like, three dozen options I can get here that would be of some interest, but I need to know what exactly...

『...And while we're still on the subject, please, enlighten me - is that ridiculous outfit that puts your undergarments on full display your idea of an appropriate attire for a maid? Are your skills really so pathetically low that the only way to satisfy your Master you can think of is to try and cater to his animalistic side with that almost non-existent sex appeal of yours? I'll have you know that...』

Heh-heh, undergarments, funny word. Wait, that's it, right?! I was going to get some used woman's panties - for purely scientific reasons, of course! There's a vending machine that sells them somewhere in this district, and... I have no way of finding it in my current state. It's not exactly on the map, so Snick is of no use, and, sure, loop memory gives a general location - but navigating those alleys right now is out of the question. Fuck! Also, was that Rindo?

『Ma'am, I'm really thankful for your advice, but I'm not really a maid, so...』

『Is that all you have - frisky clothes and silly excuses? The moment you put on this uniform, you took a step on the road towards an image of a perfect servitude that every maid should strive to embody in order to be worthy of her proud name! To enter this world without an appropriate resolution is similar to spitting in the face of all the efforts...』

Right, she's also here, I knew that, totally! Harassing flyer girls that tries to attract customers to the countless maid cafes all across Gakivalara, so it seems. Did I do something, or did she get moody on her own? Anyway - sorry, flyer girl, but I shall have you be my sacrificial pawn that will take the full brunt of annoying bitching from this fuming creature in order for me to escape. Go down in style, flyer girl, I will never forget your... Hm. Hmmmmmm

Actually, scratch that

Rindo, you did well reminding me of a very important matter, instrumental to the fate of the whole Kaladerra - good job, you're one step closer to achieving that "image of perfect servitude" you won't shut up about! As a reward, I shall have you become a provider of a mediocre substitute for a real artifact of legends. Those from the vending machine are fake anyway, so your sloppy underwear might just stand a chance - do your best!

『...and if you fully understand the gravity of your mistakes, then get on your knees right now and apologize to every single maid in the world for... What are you doing here, Young Master?』

『Looking for you. Come』

『...Did you get tired of staring at that garbage statue already? That was too quick, Young Master - but it is to be expected from a stinking virgin with zero experience, I suppose. My apologies, Young Master, but right now I'm in the middle of properly educating that arrogant pretender in proper ways of...』

『Come』

『I shall follow you as soon as I'm done lecturing this lowly creature that dares to smear the dignity of...』

『Come』

『...I shall follow you when I'm finished, Young Master』

Well, someone's sulking. I definitely did something - what was it about a statue? A-a-ah, statue, right-right. OK, change of tactics!

『You』

『M-me? Look, I'm just handing out flyers here, mister, so if you want...』

『Two maids』

『Eh?』

『One can't follow dress code properly』

『Uh-huh』

『Another can't follow orders properly』

『...!』

『Which one is more shit?』

『...Oh, definitely the one that can't even follow direct orders, mister! That's just beyond redemption! What a shitty maid that would be! Maid? Can she even call herself a maid, when she's not even competent enough to understand that disobeying her master...』

『Young Master, I'm afraid that if you listen to that talking trash any longer, your brain will become even more of a rotten mess that it already is. For the sake of preserving those tiny remains of intelligence that you still posses, I suggest...』

『Come』

『...I shall follow you, Young Master』

Perfect image of servitude right here, everyone

『Hey, mister, don't be in such a hurry! How about you visit our cafe - I'm sure we can provide you with a much better service! It's right over there, see - the name's...』

『Later. Busy now』

『He-e-ey, don't be like that, mister! Here, as a special exception, I'll give you this secret coupon - if you show it at the store, you will get one free...』

Don't push your luck, sister. And don't push that coupon towards me, either. Take pity on it - it's going to be pulverized into the dust

*snatch* *toss* *slice-slice-slice-slice* *poof*

See, what did I tell you? You're next, by the way - and I'm only half-joking

『E-e-e-e-e-e-e-ek! What is with that crazy woman?!』

『I merely disposed of a piece of trash that some filthy rat tried to give to Young Master. Shall I dispose of a rat as well?』

『I-I think my break t-t-t-t-time has already s-s-s-s-started, so, if you excuse m-m-m-m-me... *woosh*』

『Humph!!』

Get that smug look off your face, Rindo, and get that knife back to... wherever the fuck you've been hiding it. Also, you're completely wrong - I shall follow you instead. Back to the dorm, lead the way!

----------------------------------------

Walk right past the carnage at the entrance and go to the kitchen. Hopefully, Jess is there to enlighten me about the details of my master plan

『There seems to be some sort of a commotion, Young Mater』

『Don't care』

『Is that so? One would think that the Lord of Heroic Domain would show a little bit more interest in what's going on in his own...』

『JE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-SS!!』

『I'm right here, you know』

『Before leaving. Did I ask for anything?』

『...』

『Did I?』

『...Can I strangle you, just for a little bit. I promise to let go before... Yes!! Yes, you did, in fact, ask for "something"! We've been busy arguing with the Guild for several hours over that "something" of yours, and I'm not sure how much longer we can...』

『15 minutes. Anything else?』

『...Mana recovery buff』

『Did you do it? 』

『Yes-yes, here it is. Please, enjoy it to your heart's content. I put a lo-o-o-o-ot of love into it this time *wink*』

『...』

『Please, drink up, Lord Headache! I'm sure my Special Fish Oil-based cocktail that contains all my feelings of intense appreciation for my slave driving Lord will provide you with a proper refreshment. It's extra spicy, too - just to get my message across more clearly. Come on, drink it, please! Drink it right now! Don't leave a single drop!』

I don't know what's more black - the smoke coming from that cup, or the smile with which she's pressing it towards me. Well, If I asked her to make it, I must have had some reason - we can figure it out later. Cheers!

*glug* *glug* *glug* *burp*

『...How was it?』

『Delish. Felt the love. Can drink a barrel』

『Re-e-eally? Wait just a second then, I will...』

『No time. Printer access, kitchen tongs, and a plastic bag』

『...I mean, just a little squeeze won't hurt that scrawny neck of yours, right? You're Hero, right? You can handle it, right?』

『Let's find out』

『...』

『*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Whatever, I don't even want to ask. Here, the quota is not very large, so don't go too crazy』

>> ACQUIRED : Hero Dormitory STIM-printer Access

『I just hope your "phase" will be over soon. You're going back there in... 15 minutes, is that correct?』

『Yes. After I go. Let the idiots in』

『Ro-ger-tha-a-at. Anyhing else?』

『Until I return. Don't go anywhere』

『Yes-yes, this humble servant shall patiently await the return of her Lord without moving from this very spot』

『Thank you, Jess. Love of my life』

『Just go, before I strangle you for real, idiot! And... damn it, good luck! Again! Use it this time!』

『Will do! Hero, out. RINDO-O-O-O-O!!』

『I've been here this whole time, Young Master. You seem to be going somewhere, but I guess you pitifully weak brain was too preoccupied with horny thoughts to inform me about...』

『Printer room. Come』

----------------------------------------

And here's another creation of mad scientists from Dominion of Truth - fairly recent one, as well. Sizeable glass box with a door on the side and a familiar operating it on top. Panel at the back has two sockets - one for the RUMP, and another one for the STIM-cartridge. Well, this particular one is connected to the power bank that supplies the whole dormitory, so there's a cable instead of a battery, but the cartridge is properly in place

Within that class tube is an element of wonders - convinium vulgarium, or - if you absolutely insist on using its official name - simply kaladerium. Mysterious substance mined from insane depths of the planet, it has an ability to magically transform into almost any other form of inorganic matter. Modern theory suggests that the whole planet is made of it - below a thin layer of earth, sand, rocks, and other stuff. Well, "thin" compared to the size of Kaladerra, since you have to dig really fucking deep to get to that toothpaste equivalent of the Philosopher Stone

After you get yourself some of that superclay, all you need to do is apply magic power to it - and it will change its shape and nature according to your will. Or sometimes against it - you see, kaladerium is extremely volatile in its pure form, so even a slight gust of magical energy, a random thought, or an occasional fart in the next room can sometimes force it to spontaneously transform into... well, something. And that "something" is not always compatible with the safety and well-being of everyone who happen to be in the vicinity, so International Geo-harvest Managing Association - organization very similar to the Guild - is trying their best to limit the means of obtaining kaladerium to themselves

Unlike IDEA, though, IGMA is not as successful at preserving their monopoly - taking its toll an obvious absence of easily locateable Floodgates, that can ensure your exclusive access to the resource in question, as long as you control them. Power Gems do exist outside of the dungeons, sure - but the amount is laughable, and they are a total pain to get. Kaladerium, on the other hand, is everywhere - all you need to do is dig straight down. Try to manage access to that with a Convention

Still, there's not as much competition for Diggers as you might think - after all, you do have to dig very-very-very deep. Just get something very-very-very dangerous. Worth any risk for some, not even close - for most

Why do we have something so dangerous right in the middle of my love nest, you ask. Because it isn't, of course - what's in this cartridge is no simple kaladerium, but Stable Thaumaturgically Inert Materia instead. IGMA waves some black magic over their harvest right after extraction, and boom - totally safe and eco-friendly cartridge of miracles is ready for insertion into any magiprinter of your choosing. After that, all you need is to transfer a blueprint to a Controlling Familiar Unit - that sleepy furball will do the rest: convert the blueprint into appropriate magic formula, imprint it into the fusion panel, power it up, and control the STIM output into the printing chamber

What you can get from this magic box at the end of this process has a pretty wide range - clothes, utensils, small furniture pieces, decorations, jewelry, you name it. Can't do anything that requires magical enchantment, though, sorry - please refer to the proper production factory for that. Also, don't try to print food. Please, its a glass box, and there might be children and pregnant ladies nearby

As with anything else that Librarians come up with, everybody just uses it without asking any question. Even IGMA just follows standard kaladerium-converting procedure, courtesy of the Dominion of Truth, without really knowing what they're doing. Explanations are not usually requested by anyone - the fear that Librarians actually start explaining is strong. They might never stop

Also, do you want to hear about the implosion of Network delivery industry that was caused by that little invention taking the world by storm? That was a bloodbath rivaling Great Collapse on the level of drama, destruction, despair and other sorts of family-friendly entertainment - good old fashioned mayhem. Well, OK - it wasn't that devastating, actually. Several major players with enough combined brain cells in their upper management got a whiff of it early on, during the trial phase - and instead of shitting out one mockery ad campaign after another - like the rest of those idiots - they quietly invested in the Network resources that specialize in aggregating blueprints from various creators. Soon, time-limited exclusivity contract with popular designers followed - and all was well again in the kingdom of profit making. Populous-milking industry is dead - long live populous-milking industry

Still, most of the blueprints on those sites are free - save the time-limited paid exclusives that I just mentioned, but those will go public after a while as well, so you only have to cough up some dough if you absolutely sure that you need to jump on that particular fashion bandwagon. Plus, it lets the creators get some income, in addition to the rank-improving likes and subscriptions. Not for long - Librarians don't look kindly on what they consider a threat to their precious Free Access to Knowledge, but nothing stops the designers from coming up with new insanely popular idea that's worth paywalling for a while, right?

『Snick, Aberrant Flow, woman's underwear section』

『...』

Now, what should I make you wear, Rindo? The color will be black, obviously, and the design... this one! G-string with transparent front - perfect!

『Snick, those, print』

『...』

Wait for a couple of minutes while watching it take shape and listening to a quiet humming, hear the audio signal, open the door, grab it with tongs and point it towards Rindo

『Hold』

『...You have absolutely zero taste in everything you do, as usual, Young Master. Is that your idea of an appropriate gift for a lady...』

『Lady? Where? Hold』

『I refuse!... Young Master』

『OK. Jess will do』

*snatch*

『We can have you showing your disgusting habits to a completely unrelated person, Young Master! Unlike me, who is pretty much used to your complete lack of self-control and your desperate fixation on erotic delusions, anybody else would have too much of a cultural shock after realizing what a pathetic excuse for a human being you actually are, Young Master. I guess now you'll want me to wear it, so that you can fill your peabrain with revolting horny fantasies every time you look at me, and...』

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

『Hold』

『...』

『OK, enough. Give back』

『...What do you intend to do with it after I give it back, Young Master?』

『Sniff hard. Imagine your boobs. Jerk off』

『!!!』

『Furiously. Give back』

『It seems like Young Master finally cast off his useless sense of shame and embraced his brain-dead horny nature. I wonder, should I reward such honest Young Master, and show him the glimpse of the real thing he tries so hard to imagine? I'm such a kind-hearted maid, really - I might not be able to help myself! If Young Master crawls at my feet and begs properly, I might even consider...』

『No need. Stinking virgin. Zero experience. Real thing - too much stimulation. This will do. Give back』

『...Tch, Young Master is so stupid, he can't even find a proper timing to be self aware. Here you go, Young Master - enjoy it thoroughly, since it's the closest thing to any sort of sexual interaction you will ever hope to have!!』

『Thanks』

Grab it with the tongs, put it in a plastic bag, close the ziplock, toss it into the bag. Quest Item ACQUIRED!!

You know, ingenuity isn't my strongest point - even when I'm at my very best, granted, which is not much different from how I am now. But, surprisingly enough, I feel like I would've managed to talk Rindo into giving me her actual used panties - but I'll refrain. First - I don't want any filthy underwear that Horrid Creature was wearing, second - I have and idea I want to test. I mean, if those fake ones from the vending machine are totally fine - will this cute little forgery also be enough? Let's gear up and find out

『Now, I don't remember you ever explaining - where exactly are you in such a hurry to go, Young Muster?』

『My room. Jerk off. Need privacy』

『...』

----------------------------------------

OK, what's in the bag? Legendary quest item, nothing else. What's in the pockets? 9 Desert Coins and My Lucky Coin. Throw them in the bag, put the bag on the floor, get changed into diving gear. Why does the jacket only have one sleeve, is that a new fashion? Knife - onto the belt, check the ammo and the power level on the gun, and snap the holster to the belt as well. Check the power level in the Medkit, throw four additional C-5 RUMPs and four additional magazines into the bag. Did I ever tell you that I bought spare clips and batteries at the hub after the Mantis fight with my discovery reward? I conveniently don't remember

Think for a second, take My Lucky Coin from the bag... oh, it's already in my pocket on its own. Think some more

...

Nah, it's no use. I'll piece it together as I go along - the immediate destination is clear, at least. Sure hope I won't get distracted on my way there, but overall - as ready as I can be, I guess. Take a magic marker for the hell of it, and let's go

『Have you finished already, Young Master. That was pathetically quick, even for..』

『Zero virgin. Stinking Experience. Noted. Gotta go』

『Dressed like that, Young Master? Surely, even an over-exited monkey like yourself wouldn't try to... 』

『Dungeon diving』

『Your inability to learn from your own mistakes and your love for self-inflicted humiliation is truly praiseworthy, Young Master. Which dungeon did you choose to utterly embarrass yourself at this time, if you don't mind me asking? It doesn't really make that much of a difference, since...』

『My personal one』

『Rindo is genuinely worried about you, Young Master. I understand you desire to run away from a stream of constant failures into your own imaginary world, but I wouldn't advise you to...』

『Come. See for yourself. Heroic Shrine』

『...』

『Don't want - don't have to』

『I shall follow you, Young Master!』

『Sure』

----------------------------------------

『What is the meaning of this, Young Master... Wait, you can't be thinking of going there?』

『Yes. Come』

『I don't... but... No. No!! I shall... what?! Why can't I... Please, wait, Young Master! I can't follow you!! Come back, come back right no-...』

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! For someone who's always commenting on my low level of intelligence - you're not the sharpest tool in the shed yourself, eh, Rindo? Exactly which part of "My Own Personal Dungeon" gave you the idea that silly cunts would be allowed to trespass as they please? Reflect on your lack of understanding of the basic concept of Heroic Privacy, while I...

...

Right, tunnel, secret door - let's get what's behind it. Do you still remember what we are supposed to do? Correct - we hug the right wall and hope for the best. Wish me luck!

----------------------------------------

*click* *vroom* *slide*

Would you look at that! I managed to find it almost instantly, and totally didn't spend an hour and a half pacing back and forth glued to the wall like an absolute, well, moron. Heh. No, shut up, fuck off - it wasn't because I forgot that I was supposed to be hugging the left wall, since I'm going the other way. I remembered right away and corrected myself immediately, yes

Small room with almost nothing in it - save the naked mannequin wearing fancy shades, with a frying pan on its head and a carrot in its hand. Never mind its theatrical pose that suggest to take the carrot right off the bat, we should go for the glasses first

>> ACQUIRED : Ten-Pan Drifter [???]

>> This splendid piece of fashion will show you things for what they really are

Why thank you, that is indeed a splendid addition to a wardrobe of a gentleman of an impeccable taste, such as myself - I shall wear it! Honestly, though - they look more like sport glasses, if you ask me. Dark rim, sleek form, semi-transparent lenses with a golden tint - gives quite an energetic feel to my overall appearance, what do you think? Oh, and also - that's an ancient artifact that allows you to see through illusion magic. Of course, there's a gimmick - even so, when functioning properly, that thing can be pretty useful, but...

>> Ten-Pan Drifter rejects you due to insufficient stats

>> Synchronization : 0 %

>> Estimated performance : 5 %

Yeah, what else did you fucking expect? Artifacts, especially ancient ones, have a part of creator's will imbued into them - that's how they can do all that super crazy shit regular equipment can't. You're still the one powering up their special functions, though, and a certain level of synchronisation between the user and the device is required for that - and at that point, your stats come into play. Possessing a rudimentary will doesn't exactly make those finicky bitches sentient, but it does provide them with some form of character - the one that's pretty demanding to the overall potential of their wearer, usually

Basically, your stat has to be of a certain rank - which stat exactly depends on the device, and some of them check several at once. As a general rule, stronger the special effect - bigger the requirements, but modern day magical engineering has seen a number of significant breakthroughs in the field of bending that rule to a certain degree

Ten-Pan Drifter, however, wasn't made using modern day magitech - it was made by no-idea-who and zero-clue-when, based on the fact that Snik fails to even try to determine what stat and what rank is required for it to stop being a fussy cunt. It's focus, though - if I remember correctly, but there's an easy enough way to double-check

>> ACQUIRED : Lookarrot [???]

Let's munch on that tasty-looking carrot while the mannequin comes to life, performs a silly dance and then runs away. Where to, in this empty room with the only door being the one we just came through? No fucking idea - one minute it was here, and now it's gone. Funny trick, considering that if we took the carrot first, this doll would be carrying away our stylish shades with it

*munch* *mu-*

No-no-no-no-no, wait a minute, I can't do that now! See, that's what I meant about not getting distracted - creepy longe by the hole at the bottom floor, remember it? The one behind sexy shape-shifting statute? We go there first - I wouldn't want to try and talk to anyone after... Anyway, go-go-go!

...

You know what's funny, though? It's supposed to hurt like a motherfucker when you're using an artifact that hasn't accepted you. Body-twisting, mind-crushing, soul-devouring, horrific, unbearable pain - that type of situation

But it doesn't even sting, for some reason. Huh

----------------------------------------

『Welcome to the Palace of *snort* Love, bro-... What, it's *snort* you again, you rude bastard! I'll have you know, this establishment has zero *snort* tolerance for the kind of savage behavior that you...』

『Gift』

『...What is is this *snort*?』

『Gift』

『My, you seem to have some *snort* manners, after all, brother! An apology gift is a good way to show that you properly reflect on your *snort* actions, but don't think for a second that it will be easy to appeal to a man of such high *snort* culture and taste as mine with a simple...*sniff* *sniff* *snort*』

OK, the moment of truth. The plastic bag sure got his attention, so...

『*SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFF* *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOORT*』

*grab* *tear* *staaaaaare*

『...Could this *snort* be? I can't believe it! An Ultimate Treasure of Pure Love and *snort* Beauty, in my grasp at last! *sniiiiiff*』

OK, it worked. Congratulation, everyone - quest completed! Now, let's wait for that creep to calm down and...

『Still *snort* warm and a little *sniff* moist - how wonderful! *sniff-sniff* Worn just recently by a lady of outstanding *snort* beauty! Who did you get that from, brother?』

Wrestle it from the claws of a vile toxin-spitting monster, creep. Trust me, you don't want to meet it

『Wait, don't *snort* tell me! I will let my imagination do the work - this exquisite *sniff* aroma already forming a vision of that pure and unsullied *snort* maiden in my mind! What innocence! *sniff* What bashful charm! *sniff-sniff* How erotic! *sniiiiiiff*』

...You know what, I can't believe I'm saying this - but now I slightly regret that Rindo couldn't come here with me. I would've kind of wanted her to be present for this - the reactions of both of those creatures would probably be fun to watch

『I knew it! *snort* Since the first time you walk through this door, I knew you for the connoisseur of a true *snort* beauty that you really are, brother! I could see it in your *snort* eyes, that we share the same *sniff* passion in our admiration for the magnificent *snort* splendor of ethereal fabric dripping with alluring *sniff* odor!』

Hm? Panties? Nah, man - I'm more about what's inside of them. You have to take them off for the actual fun stuff anyway - so you're on your own with this underwear-sniffing kink, sorry

『Transparent, *snort* isn't it? Not as pure as you *snort* look, aren't you? You dirty *sniff* girl, hyuk-hyuk-hyuk *snoooort*』

I think I might have to put a lid on it, before he actually starts jerking off right in front of me. Weirdly, he wasn't as excited before - or did I just wipe it from my memory? Who cares, to the point

『...Come on now, no need to be *snort* shy...』

『Reward』

『*SNOOORT* What is it now, I'm busy!』

『Reward』

『Reward? Reward! Sure, such beautiful *snort* gift warrants a reward of similar proportions! Just give me *sniff* five minutes, brother, and after that I'll *snort* make sure to pick something suitable from my wide assortment of...』

『Rune. Now』

『Hey, that's my most *snort* prized possession. You can just demand that I give it to you. Snort. Of course, since you are obviously a Knight of True *snort* Beauty, and just completed a quest of immense *snort* glory, you might be considered worthy to hold that priceless *snort* treasure. But there's an appropriate order to things, bother...』

Appropriate order of things - that's running around collecting various stupid junk that this creep considers sexy. Every time you bring it to him, he will give you some sort of a reward - eight times in total. Some of those items he gives are pretty useful, but - boring shit, do not want. So, I just skipped to the final item he will request, which I just brought with me in a plastic bag. And a reward for it, as I remember...

『Rune. Now』

『I'm *snort* telling you, this is not how it works, brother!! First, you need to...』

『Give back. Now』

『Eeeeeeeeh?!』

『Give back. Now』

『...Now, come on, brother, don't be too *snort* hasty! I'm not saying I won't give it to you, I just...』

『Rune. Now』

『Tsk. You really are a barbarian, brother! OK, fine, here it is! Now, if you *snort* excuse me...』

>> ACQUIRED : Forbidden Rune

>> Stone shard with a rune of heretical knowledge infused into it. Vastly improves a talent of your choosing

『Tanks. Enjoy』

『You don't *snort* need to tell me, brother! Oooooh, you naughty *sniff* girl!』

Heroic Retreat, extra haste, double time!

----------------------------------------

>> Spark of Promise <<

I feel like I've already done it before - sat on the edge of this root covered hole while contemplating what to do next. Loop memory doesn't provide any reference, though - so must be just my imagination

>> Spark of Promise <<

Well, solving this puzzle shouldn't be too hard - I'm the one who came up with this strategy, so it's probably something stupid anyway. Should be easy to re-trace. Probably

>> Spark of Promise <<

OK - 9 Desert Coins, Lucky Coin, Forbidden Rune, Ten-Pan Drifter, Lookarrot, magic marker - what else? Mana recovery buff, yes. What does it all tell us?

>> Spark of Promise <<

I think I definitely wanted to go all the way down through that hole. Nothing much down there, except for this obstacle course on the way back, but I'll need the ticket for that. It should be... Next floor up from this one, 7th from the top. But without a lamp... right, glasses! So, that's Lookarrot, Rune, and Drifter out of equation, great!

>> Spark of Promise <<

Creep back there can sell you some stuff for the coins, but since I have My Lucky Coin as well - I was trying to go gambling instead. That's 6th Floor from the top, but there's no way to get past that quiz-loving cunt. And how did I manage to get this Lucky Coin, anyway? And what use do I have for a Mana recovery buff, the only spell I have is...

>> Spark of Promise <<

...

>> Spark of Promise <<

Oooooooh, is that my brilliant plan? Sheep girl was actually right - Hero is a player!

OK, let's go do all that right now, before I forget. Sure would help to have something to write it all down, in case...

*Ahem*

Sure good thing I brought a magic marker to write it all down, wouldn't you agree. Oh, is that why I cut the right sleeve of my jacket? Nice to meet you, everyone - master tactician is here!

>> Spark of Promise <<

*scribble* *scribble* *scribble*

Well, that seems to be most of it, now - to the 7th Floor!

----------------------------------------

*pant* *pant* *pant* *wheeze*

My stamina is less shit. My stamina is less shit. My stamina is less shit. My stamina is less shit

Well, it's the next floor up anyway, so the spiraling stairs will soon transform into a platform that stretches along the inner wall for about half a circle - before turning into upward-going stairs again. The platform presents an access to many a doors, and - that one should open, I think

*creeeeak* *clunk*

OK, good - now we step through it and enter a maze-like corridor. Not much different from the main shaft - doors, doors everywhere. Again - only select few will actually open, so it's a good thing I know which one we're looking for. It's... this one, definitely

*creeeeak* *clunk*

Hey, I got it right on the first try! We are currently in a dense pine forest under an empty black sky - with the door still behind us and a narrow passage through the trees in front. We can walk it safely until... yeah, here's where we stop

Round clearing with four pathways leading away from it - one to the left, one to the right, one directly in front of us, and one behind. They all look exactly the same. They all look exactly the same - it's important, so I said it twice

You see, there's a wooden cabin in the depth of this forest, quite a distance from here - and to get to it, we will have to navigate through a grid of those clearings, that probably cover the whole area. I say "probably", because I have no idea what the exact map looks like - the actual route to the cabin is a straight line, but of course, there's a catch. Every time you go through any of those passages, your sense of direction gets all fucked up, and when you arrive at the clearing - you get magically turned around at a random angle. With all those clearings and all those pathways looking the same, well, you guessed correctly - we will need a specific item to find our way through this bullshit. It's a certain lamp, and it's... not here, right. But! Hear me out!

What's here is this Ten-Pan Drifter I'm wearing - and it's a legendary item that can see through illusion magic. Sort of. To a specific degree. And for very specific purpose. OK, long story short - it's a gimmicky item that's going to be used in a cooking competition later on to determine which ingredients to use. It can help you see the quality, freshness, some other stuff - but what's important right now, is that it can help you see ingredients themselves. I mean, you have to actually see them to know how good they are - right?

So, I figured - right in front of the cabin, there's another superfruit growing, which, technically, counts as an ingredient. And - it's a straight line, so, if you discount dim lighting, it should be visible even from here. If the Drifter can latch on to it - I will have a perfect solution for this labyrinth, even without that shitty fucking lamp!

The only problem is - the performance is not high enough to even detect something edible nearby, let alone through a multiple layer of illusions, but that's when the rune and Lookarrot come into play. Hopefully, just the rune, though - we don't need the full list of properties, just to see if something is there or not. Full sync shouldn't really be required for that. Probably. Look, this item was only used once, OK - I didn't exactly run it through a full test-drive course, so...

Anyway, as I said - focus. As in - it needs Focus stat to sync properly, so here goes nothing

>> Forbidden Rune Activated

>> FOCUS : (E) + (1) : 16 → → → FOCUS : (D) : 16

*shine* *crack* *poof*

Yeah, it improves the rank of any stat you choose - very useful. So, what do we have

*staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

Nothing, huh. Damn, I was kind of hoping to avoid this, but, oh well - what are you gonna do?

>> Ten-Pan Drifter refuses to acknowledge your existence due to insufficient stats

>> Synchronization: 0 %

>> Estimated performance: 15 %

Yeah-yeah, I get the picture. Come, my trusty carrot!

*crunch* *crunch* *munch* *gulp*

>> FOCUS : (D) : 16 + 100 → → → FOCUS : (D) : 116

>> ACQUIRED : Seed of Obsession [???]

*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*

>> FOCUS : (D) + (1) : 116 → → → FOCUS : (C) : 116

>> INTELLECT : (F) - (1) : 8 → → → INTELLECT : (G) : 8

First dump stat has been decided, so it seems. Good news - stats can not go lower than G rank. Bad news, well, there's none - I'm a natural-born genius that doesn't have to rely on some trivial things like stat value or rank, unlike those other common folks. I'm perpetually brilliant, you see. Ha-ha...

Anyway, it's better had fucking worked!

*staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

>> Ten-Pan Drifter doesn't want to be associated with some worthless trash. Due to insufficient stats

>> Synchronization : 0 %

>> Estimated performance : 25 %

*staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

...

*staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

>> Tasty?

MWAHAHAHAHA, the victory is mine, nice! Wait, tasty, tasty - better write it down. Great, done - all that's left is for everything to go exactly according to initial plan - without unexpected uncertainties, freak occurrences, random incidents, and honest mistakes. Lemon squeezy!

...

Also, I noticed something - you know that constant noise in my head? No, it didn't go anywhere - but now it's absolutely incomprehensible. Not like it was very clear before, but I could still catch some bits and pieces from it - and now it's completely one-note

Ha-ha, fuck you, noise! I can't. Understand. A. Thing

And a thing about noise is that, no matter how loud it is, if it doesn't carry any information for your mind to focus on - you get used to it, after a while. To the point of completely ignoring it. To the point where it even stops being a noise

It becomes silence

...

Well, see you on the other side

----------------------------------------

Forest. Why? Going. Where? Tired. Hand says - TASTY. Where? Left. Going left. Screaming, noisy

Forest. Why? Go back. Tired. Hand says - TASTY. Where? Left? Right? Tasty? Shadow, fast. Wich way right? Tasty, there. Going

Forest. No Tasty. Why? Tasty, where? Left? Right? Going back. Tasty, behind. Hiding. Going back

Forest. Cabin? Why? Tasty! Hand says - EAT. Eat Tasty

>> ACQUIRED : Eggplasavant [???]

*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*

>> INTUITION : (E) : 20 + 100 → → → INTUITION : (E) : 120

>> ACQUIRED : Seed of Exaltation [???]

*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*

>> INTUITION : (E) + (1) : 120 → → → INTUITION : (D) : 120

>> INTELLECT : (G) - (1) : 8 → → → INTELLECT : (G) : 8

Tasty was tasty. No more Tasty. Why? Tasty, where? Hand says - CABIN TICKET. Going cabin

Small cabin. Come closer. Child crying. Window - light. Going

Small cabin. Come closer. Child not crying. Window - no light. Go to sleep

Small cabin. Come closer. Door open. Why? Nobody behind. He-he, funny door

Small cabin. Dark cabin. Somebody. Go say hello

Went away. Why? Where? There! Go say hello

Went away. Why? Where? Nowhere. Door creaking. Fingers. There! Go say hello

Open door. Went away. Why? Where? Behind. Said hello. Went away

Small Cabin. Dark cabin. Why? Hand says - CABIN TICKET. Crib. Find crib

Room. No crib. Room. Crib! Crib swaying. Nobody pushing. He-he, funny crib

Room. Go crib. Child crying. But no child. He-he, funny child

Crib. Ticket! Take Ticket. Exit, where? Tired

>> ACQUIRED : Another Chance Ticket

>> Check out yourself if a success truly comes to those who keep trying

Grab ankle. Scream. Who? Say hello. Where? Nobody. Tired. Exit, where?

Exit, there. Go exit. Forest, why? Door, why? Tired. Go door

Where? Stairs, why? Up? Down? Where? Hand says - ROOT HOLE. Down. Stairs? Jump? Tired. Jump

----------------------------------------

Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

Hole, why? Hand says - ROOT HOLE. Jump? Come back. Climb? Need vine

Vine, where? No vine. Root hole, how? Hand says - PLATFORM JUMP. Platform, invisible. How?

Platform, there. Don't see. But there. Step? Miss. Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

Platform, there. Don't see. But there. Jump? Miss. Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

Platform, there. Don't see. But there. Step back? Miss. Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

Platform, there. Don't see. But there. Roll? Miss. Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

Platform, there. Don't see. But there. Slide? Miss. Don't miss. Stand platform

Next platform, there. Don't see. But there. Step? Miss. Fall down. Fall up. He-he, funny jump

----------------------------------------

Final platform, there. Don't see. But there. Step back, roll, turn, run in air. Miss? Don't miss. Stand platform. Why?

Shiny, there! Go shiny. Bridge there. Don't see, but there. Take shiny

>> ACQUIRED : Leaf of Absence

>> In an absence of hope, no sacrifice is too big to bring it back

Shiny, Tasty? Eat shiny? Hand says - LEAF DON'T EAT. Leaf, pocket

Bridge, not there. Was there, now not. Falling down. Not falling up. Keep falling down. Keep falling. Keep falling

----------------------------------------

Where? Nothing. Why? Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice. Why?

Pedestal? Why? Nothing on pedestal. Put Something? Don't have Something. Why? Something, where?

Tasty! Behind pedestal. Eat Tasty? Hand say? Hand don't say. He-he, hand stupid. Eat Tasty!

>> ACQUIRED : Pattienson [???]

*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*

>> WISDOM : (E) : 8 + 100 → → → WISDOM : (E) : 108

>> ACQUIRED : Seed of Awaiting [???]

*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*

>> WISDOM : (E) + (1) : 108 → → → WISDOM : (D) : 108

>> SPEED : (F) - (1) : 4 → → → SPEED : (G) : 4

Slow. Tired. Hand say - USE TICKET. Why? Don't want. Tired. Stay here. Nice here. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice

She not here. Sad. She where? She? Who? Sad. Why? Hand say - USE TICKET. Going. Why?

----------------------------------------

Going. Where? Nothing. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice

----------------------------------------

Keep going. Where? Don't care

Nothing. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice

Want to keep going

Forever

----------------------------------------

Now Loading.........

S1E9 - Eating seeds to increase productivity

Table of Contents