S1E5 - I'm getting down to know
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Glittering Pendant
"In my restless dreams, I will see your smile
It will bring me the promise of your swift return
So we can await Our Hope patiently among the stars
Together"
Small old locket with a faded portrait of a woman on one of its sides. How does a poem fit on the other half of such a small locket is a mystery
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Another beautiful fucking morning in the city of Vitalberia
Well, it's actually way past noon, but considering that I only managed to get back to dormitory during early hours of today's morning, it's hardly surprising that I've decided to sleep in. Proper Heroic Rest after glorious victory is an important part in building a foundation for even more marvelous achievements in the future! After I've fully recovered, all basic danger level enemies that any proper dungeon diver can defeat by simply sneezing at will rue the day they crossed paths with mighty Hero!! Fuck, I'm still sore
When I was finally done dealing with the flailing asshole, it was almost midnight. The rest of the night I spent getting my well-earned loot, dragging myself back to the hub, receiving some medical treatment and going through some other post-diving procedures. Grumpy healing lady was going on and on about how silly fledgling divers are deliberately trying to make her job harder by not bringing their detached limbs with them back from the dungeon, but she still regrew my arm back just fine, so I put her sour mood to the general lack of sleep. Receptionist also looked like she wanted to say something, so I gave her my left glove as a present in case she had any more unmatched right ones in stock, and she seemed to change her mind
Scary looking helmet I found in the tomb I sold to the Guild - it's a gimmicky item with limited usage, and I don't have proper stats for it anyway. Still, it was obviously an ancient artifact, so both girls attempted to start a ruckus again, especially after I explained that I found it behind Lovers' Gate. I sold it anyway, but since it has to be analyzed properly before determining an actual price, all I got was standard finder's fee. I doubt military would be very interested in this helmet after the appraisal since, as I've said, it's gimmicky - so I guess Museum will grab it to add to their weird collection. After the resale is done, I'll get my share from the Guild
The remaining few treasures I kept for myself - one of them was an actual reason I did this quick in and out in the first place
Currently, I'm laying on the bed in the dorm and considering if I should put my trophy to use or sleep in a little more. Well, not the actual bed - more like thin mattress, since First Hero liked sleeping on the floor, apparently, and it became sort of a custom for all Heroes after him. Apart from me and the manager, everybody else is supposed to be at the Academy, but I would be a fool to expect a certain horrid creature have any respect for mandatory attendance
『It's good to see Young Master working hard on practicing his signature stupid facial expression right after waking up』
『How naive, Rindo! I practice it even in my sleep - you never know when an enemy with a weakness to funny faces will appear』
『Young Master has finally realized his own battle incompetence and decided to play to his strengths. Rindo is proud』
『Call me Hero of Knowing My Own Place from now on! My shitty stats will hinder my glorious path to victory no longer - I will splendidly defeat any opposition with my impeccable slapstick comedy routines!』
『Does this mean that I shouldn't expect any more useless dungeon diving tantrums from you, Young Master?』
『Tantrums?! Preposterous! It was but a mere leisurely stroll to get myself acquainted with my future training grounds!』
『Then why did you return reeking of blood, Young Master?』
『Just wanted us to have a matching scent, I guess』
『...It seems like all the nosebleed from constant erotic delusions has ruined your sense of smell, Young Master. But if you insist, I shall take another shower immidiatly』
『You do that, Rindo』
Everyone, please, welcome - Rindo Marudokawa, my favorite personal maid! She's also my only personal maid, so the competition wasn't exactly fierce - yet I somehow still unsure about whether or not she deserves to claim her victory in this popularity contest. Maybe I'm just being prejudiced, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that she's not exactly "my" personal maid. She's a personal maid of "Hero
Story goes, Head of House Marudokawa was leading the party that discovered First Hero and brought him back to Vitalberia during Great Collapse. Then the story goes further and insist the Head's daughter was with him and she was the one who actually pointed the direction towards Hero's whereabouts. Well, it would be more correct to say that Marudokawas' side of the story insists on that version of events - fervently. Everybody else thinks it's just a load of crap Marudokawas keep repeating in order to solidify their status as a House with special connection to Heroes, but personally, I consider at least the part where the Head of the House brought 11 years old daughter to a monster-infested wastelands to be absolutely true. Expect nothing less from this bunch of battle-junkies
Details aside, we can all agree that it was Marudokawas who found First Hero. We can also agree that they were clinging to him a bit too much after that, treating him like their personal trophy. Especially the daughter I just mentioned - she was sticking to Hero like a glue, acting more like his legal wife or something - there was even a talk of House Marudokawa adopting First Hero at some point, but then Salvation Church decided to remind everyone that Hero is a son of Goddess and they suppose to have a monopoly on everything that comes from her. Remaining Great Houses also wanted to somehow get involved in all this to prevent a rapid rise of House Marudokawa, and let's not forget Emergency Congress loudly voicing their confusion about the fact that nobody's asking their opinion despite them being the only solid governmental structure left on the planet
As you can imagine, this disagreement resulted in a friendly, civilized discussion between all interested parties - and then some blood was spilled for some (obviously completely unrelated) reason. Actually, a lot of blood was spilled, but we are not supposed to talk about that nowadays. Eventually, everybody decided that it's best to move Hero into the public property category and leave it at that. Hero Assisting Intercontinental Assembled Initiative was formed, and everybody else signed the Concordat of Hero that, among other things, advised anyone who wanted to use Hero rental services to go through HAIAI. First Hero didn't care, Marudokawas were grumpy, HAIAI was busy, and all the rest pretended to respect this agreement
But not the young successor of House Marudokawa - she assigned herself as an exception to this whole Hero Uninvolvement rule and even managed to weasel her way into Hero Party and claim her spot as Hero's Personal Maid. I think First Hero fancied her quite a lot, since that title of hers soon became official, and Marudokawas became a little less grumpy. Salvation folks were saying something about Hero's Maid not being mentioned in the Scripture, but House Marudokawa pointed out that detailed instructions on finding Hero's location in case of an emergency also fail to appear in the Sacred Pages, and since everybody were pretty tired from their previous friendly discussion, the whole situation didn't evolve into anything fun
As a result, Hero's Personal Maid is properly mentioned alongside all other members of Hero Party in the chronicles of Heroic Sacrifice that put an end to the First Impact. And after it became obvious that "Hero Reincarnates Again to Save the World from Demon King Invading One More Time" event is going to repeat itself every hundred years, a new tradition was born - a suitable successor of House Marudokawa at the time of the Impact should always be assigned as a bodyguard of current Hope of Kaladerra. Records show that every time it just so happens to be a young woman three years older than Hero - that might seem like a weird coincidence to anyone who chooses to ignore the fact that all other members of Hero Party are always women of the same age as Hero. Essentially, everybody just shrugs it off in accordance to a universal agreement that says "We have no idea what Hero actually is and how he does all his Heroic stuff", so no eyebrow is in any particular hurry to be risen
Rindo, being 21, follows the footsteps of her predecessors pretty faithfully in that regard. Her sadistic tendencies, though, are her own unique spin to the classic world saving formula - at least I think they are, since records don't go into great many details about Hero retainers of the previous generations
Long story short, people got their peace, Heroes got their Maids, and Marudokawas got to one-sidedly claim their title of the one and the only True Supporters of Heroes. Which explains why this House hates HAIAI with a vengeance, since they think it's being an intrusive wannabe muscling in on their cozy Hero Supporting tea party. HAIAI, on the other hand, quite likes Marudokawas, since it considers them to be easily manipulated idiots that are pretty useful to have around. HAIAI even covers up for House Marudokawa when it manages to piss off the powers that be - and the rest of the world along with them - again
You see, those "Hero Supporters" like to occasionally go on a killing spree, wiping out those who they consider "Enemies of Hero". Granted, their targets usually deserve a lot worse than a swift death by the assassin's blade, but that's beside the point - bunch of highly trained killers operating without any supervision will hardly make anyone happy, so HAIAI pretends to be the one directing Marudokawa's attacks. This pretence doesn't require much effort, since it's actually true most of the time - without Marudokawas being aware of it, of course. Those fucking bellends just think that they are very-very sneaky and nobody knows what they are doing
They also think they are the only ones who know what's best for Heroes, which presents me with a bit of a dilemma, as their supposed "employer". Sure, an army of loyal maids and butlers possessing infinite amount of deadly skills and dedicated to the purpose of dealing with my problems for me sounds great, but consider this - they don't wait for my command, or even approval, to start one of their blood-spraying festivals, and they refuse to listen to me when I tell them to take it easy and lay off killing people for a bit. Not exactly what I call a useful asset
For example, my memory tells me that last night Rindo was on one of those "missions" the Head of the House orders her to do from time to time, which probably involved slaughtering a bunch of people that were probably plotting something despicable and were probably presenting some sort of an obstacle to "Heroic Cause". Or at least Marudokawas thought so, and if you're wondering if anybody from their House deemed necessary to get my go-ahead before starting this shit, I would like to inform you that I'm not even supposed to be aware of any such activities taking place at this point of my journey. And even when I, way-way-waaay down the line, learn about this, they're just going to be, like, "Yup, we've been doing it, and we're gonna keep at it, Young Master". Out-fucking-standing
Still, Rindo being busy yesterday presented a pretty valuable window of opportunity, all things considered. I forgot to ask that sly fox to give my maid dungeon access as well, which could've resulted in a bit of a hiccup in my loot-collecting run. Sure, the Guild and the Academy have a special agreement, but even University students can't go through the hub without special permission granted by the rector. Meaning - I can enter Noob Dungeon, but Rindo still can't. And she wouldn't be too eager to let me dive on my own, now that I think about it
Yes, as you might have already noticed during the incident when Pointy Ears almost cut me in half while Rindo was just making jokes on the side, my "Personal Maid" has a very liberal interpretation of what a bodyguard duty implies - yet she absolutely doesn't want me dead. I'm tempted to say that she's just simply against the idea of losing her favorite source of daily entertainment, but for the sake of preserving the dignity of House Marudokawa (ha-ha!), let's all agree that Rindo is sincerely worried about her bodyguard score dropping in case of my untimely demise, and leave it at that
Anyway, let's get dressed, wash our face and go check the kitchen. If we're in luck, our dorm mommy could be there to provide us with some much needed late breakfast and a pleasant conversation to wash it down
『Oh my, Lord Hero has finally arisen to bestow a light of his magnificent presence upon the denizens of Heroic Domain! Would His Lordship be willing to allow this humble servant to display her mediocre cooking skills in order to provide nourishment for his future Heroic Deeds?』
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『Surely, you jest, Beautiful Maiden of the Dorm! Rumors of your unprecedented culinary expertise have traveled far and wide, causing spontaneous salivation all across Kaladerra that threatens to raise the level of the World Ocean! The prospect of finally partaking some of your famous gastronomical masterpieces is filling me with joy of Heroic proportions!』
『Weeell, let me see if I can whip something up for you. I haven't started cooking dinner yet, so don't expect anything too fancy, Lord Hero』
『Nonsense! Anything made by a flower of such angelic womanly charm and beauty is absolutely guaranteed to taste heavenly!』
『...Extra layer of super strong mustard for flirty Lord Hero who thinks it's okay to play with a woman's feelings it is』
Jessica Velmitrane, high-ranking HAIAI operative assigned to manage Hero Dormitory - 28 years old, cheerful workaholic, not married, no boyfriend, has a tentacle tree as a pet, and formidable cooking skills. Her dryad blood allows her to naturally manipulate organic matter, including ingredients, which makes her food taste great and provide a lot of useful stat-increasing benefits. When she's not busy cooking and tidying up Hero Dorm, she spends her time trying - in vain - to keep the bickering within whiny kindergarten known as Hero Party at the reasonable level. Insane Big Sister vibes, sound mind, combat training, exotic half-dryad beauty and a sense of humor to top it off. Plus, her powers grant her the ability do some more stuff that is very-very useful, but we have to get to know her better before she decides to reveal that fact. A lot, lot better. Yes
Now, it's time for the most important question! Which one is a bigger secret - the fact that Jess is a HAIAI operative or what she's using her pet tentacle tree for during her free time? The answer may surprise you
『Here you go, Lord Hero! A plate of Special Stamina Boosting Sandwiches to keep your Hero Spirit high all day long!』
『Hmm, splendid. Do they have a passionate love of an underappreciated hard-working maiden as a secret ingredient in them?』
『Not sure about love, but I do feel like they could use some more mustard』
『Let's dig in and find out!!』
*munch* *munch* *munch*
『...』
*munch* *munch* *munch*
*munch* *munch* *munch*
『My, someone sure is hungry, huh?』
*munch* *munch* *munch*
*munch* *munch* *munch*
*munch* *munch* *munch*
『...Should I make some more?』
『Phew, that's quite enough. Thank you, Generous Maiden of the Dorm! Your splendid feast has grabbed my stomach and your sincere feelings have pierced my heart! I cannot contain my love for you any longer - will you marry me?』
『*twitch* Another serving of Special Stamina Boosting Sandwiches with Triple Amount of Soul-Crushingly Powerful Mustard, coming right up!』
『My adoration for you has filled my meal with enough spice already. Also, can you stop emitting your blood lust for a second - it just makes you look even sexier, which I thought simply wasn't possible, and I fall deeper and deeper in love, Jess』
『...*sigh* Lord Hero is a womanizer, so it seems』
『Isn't it, like, major Heroic Trait that shared amongst all generations? Remember the size of the harem Second one had?』
『Third Hero is the one you're probably thinking of. Second Hero was... a little bit more reserved in that regard. A little bit』
『Right-right, it was Second who was the boring one! Wait, which one was the idiot that run off into a Noob Dungeon on his day of enrollment and got his hand sliced off by a small fry?』
『...I think it was the current one, Lord Hero』
『Really? Sounds like a total moron, if you ask me. Is Kaladerra gonna be alright with such a dimwit saving it?』
『I'm glad to know that we share the same concern about the future of this world, Troy. Being young and reckless sure fits the image of True Hero, but please keep in mind that a lot of lives depend on your decisions. Including your life as well』
『Nah, don't sweat it! We all know that Hero never dies - until it's time for a final showdown, at least』
『...』
『Now, come on! Please don't make this gloomy expression ruing your beautiful face! Admiring its lovely features has provided me with even more hopeful energy than your tasty sandwiches!』
『...Definitely a womanizer. *mumble* Why wasn't that in the file?..』
『Anyway, throwing myself into unwinnable fights is my job as Hero! And my job as Lord of this mansion is to ensure the happiness of all its inhabitants, staring with Beautiful Maiden of the Dorm, of course. I'm gonna take a walk and see if I can come up with some genius idea of how to do so!』
『Wait, what about the Academy?』
『What about it, I wonder? Hmmm, personally, I think it's uniform is a little bit outdated, but we can leave my helpful suggestions on how to improve University's fashion for another time. Hero, out!!』
『*mumble* A womanizer and a delinquent... That would require some... adjustments』
From her calling me "Lord Hero" I can conclude that my escapades with Elven Cunt from yesterday morning might become a running joke, which is fine by me. As I said before - Jess is alright
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『I shall follow you, Young Master』
『...』
『I shall follow you, Young Master』
No use, huh? And I'm putting on my best puzzled expression as well. Still, it's understandable that Rindo wants to tag along, since her favorite toy was almost broken yesterday. Or maybe she is actually worried about her bodyguard score dropping, who knows? During my pleasant conversation with our lovely Dorm Mommy Rindo kept her distance, since she doesn't like Jess very much - her being from HAIAI and all. Wait, is it my imagination, or my maid's hair seems to be a little wet? Apparently, Rindo did actually take another shower in the meantime, huh. Quirky
Regardless, she's not going to get in the way of what I'm about to do, so there's no specific reason for me to try and ditch her - I just felt a sudden urge to fuck with Rindo a little. But now that I think about it, bringing her along might be even better - she hates that event for some reason, so let's just go. We just need to walk along the coastline for about an hour to reach our destination, so it's not going to be a very long trip
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There it is, a small unkempt park overlooking the sea from the top of a hill. Nothing much happens in this location, but I remember repeatedly coming here for no reason during my previous loops. At the far end of it, there should be a bench facing the coast, which happens to be one of great many mysteries of the Eternal City - if you sit on it, you can sometimes hear a whisper of a young woman calling out to someone, or so the legend says. That tourist attraction is where we are going
『I'm aware that you are desperate for any interaction with the opposite sex, Young Master, but bringing your own maid on a date is a bit pitiful even for you』
『I just consider it a practice run for a real thing. You know it's common sense to use shitty materials for your starting handicraft projects in order to save the good stuff for when your skill's high enough? Same thing. So, how would your score my taste in dating spots?』
『I think your boring and unimaginative nature was really put on display with this choice, Young Master』
『True, this place seems to be lacking in terms of proper romantic atmosphere. See, some progress has been made already! Imagine how awkward it would be if I came here with a girl I actually care about? Hmm, quite a pickle. Wait, I know! How about I put on a little magic show with... this!』
『...Did you decide to add collecting trash to your already innumerous repulsive habits, Young Master?』
『Hey, one man's trash is another man's treasure! And this treasure I've got from behind the Lovers' Gate, so the magic it can do is guaranteed to be something romantical! Just watch!』
『...』
It's true, actually - this small pendant I'm currently holding in my hand is a treasure I've got from my recent dive into the Noob Dungeon. Or should I say - the main treasure I've got from it? True, on its own, this locket is completely useless, but if you place it on this bench, then... well, as I said, just watch
See, the transparent silhouette of a woman appeared nearby. She looks at the locket for a few moments, then she looks at me, and it seems like she's smiling. She brings her arms to her chest, looks at the locket briefly again, and then she keeps looking at me for way longer than the first time. I hear something resembling a happy laughter, barely visible warm light envelops me for a second, and then the silhouette disappears, along with the pendant
>> SPELL ACQUIRED : Spark of Promise (unique)
...
Can you imagine my excitement when I got this spell for the first time? Finally, a real spell!! I can use some proper magic too! Nostalgic...
...
I think the lady we just saw was waiting for the dude who's tomb I raided yesterday - long enough for her to stop being alive, but not long enough for the remnants of her Seed to give up and go to the stars, or wherever it is they are supposed to be going.When we brought her this pendant, she probably recognized it and was finally able to find peace - and then she gave me this unique spell as a thank you gift. The name of the spell has something to do with the promise they made to each other, I guess. Hey, it does actually sound a little bit romantic, huh?
If you bring the helmet here, it does nothing, by the way. I tried
The spell itself is a thaumaturgical type, doesn't require a memory space and costs 1 unit of mana to use. Basically, it creates a ball of soft light that you can't even move around, so it just floats there for a while and then disappear unless you apply more mana. Amazing stuff, I know! It does, however, have its uses. Or at least one very particular use - but for that, we need to return to the dormitory
『How was my magic trick, Rindo?』
『...I didn't like it』
『Yeah, kind of a downer, wasn't it? Well, this practice date is officially a total failure, so let's go back!』
『...』
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Well, would you look at that! Jess is busy doing something right by the entrance of the dorm. What a splendid timing! And a total coincidence, of course. It's not like she was waiting for me to return because she found my eccentric behavior a little bit unnerving or anything. That would be foolish, since Hope of Kaladerra always prevails - through all the enemies and all the battles and all the mental breakdowns, against every existential crisis and any other shit of boring variety
...
One of the few kind souls that genuinely cares about an expendable freak. Should I marry her for real? Romantic atmosphere intensifies
Anyway, I was about to bring her along for my next step, so this works perfectly for me. Better to let Jess deal with those idiots from the Guild and HAIAI - they're going to know about this thing very soon, and then they want to pester someone for an explanation. Jessica Velmitrane, as of this moment, you have been chosen as my Unbreakable Shield against a Mindless Blob of Evil Bureaucracy. Protect me well, Jess!
『Rejoice, oh Beautiful Maiden of the Dorm!! I just had a splendid epiphany during my dignified stroll - we must renovate my mansion immediately, and I have chosen Hero Shrine as a starting point of this brilliant project! Lead the way, Jess!』
『You're not going to cover historical monument with some weird graffiti, are you?』
『What unexpected treachery is this - for you to doubt my outstanding sense of beauty so?! Don't worry, I have something better in mind - I promise, you're gonna love it. Eventually』
『...When you say "don't worry", why do I feel like I should worry even more?』
『Because your wisdom is the only thing that can rival your womanly charms, Jess. Anyway, let's go! You coming, Rindo?』
『I have no desire to observe that gaudy monstrosity, Young Master』
『Fair enough』
Yeah, Rindo doesn't like Jess, Rindo doesn't like the pendant, Rindo doesn't like the spell, and Rindo doesn't like the place we're about to visit. Rindo hates a lot of stuff, actually, and sometimes for no particular reason. Not me, though - she doesn't really hates me
She just enjoys watching me suffer
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Man, this mansion is a fucking maze. Good thing I know the layout by heart from my previous loops - otherwise, I had to actually rely on Jess to find the correct location. She's probably the only person that can reliably navigate through this uselessly huge labyrinth. Except me, of course - but I'm cheating
First Hero was jumping all over the world during Great Collapse, but his base of operations remained in Vitalberia until the very end. He liked it here so much that at some point, he decided to build a house for himself and his crew - big-ass one story mansion made of wood and paper, of all things. Some say that First Hero was impressed by the culture of the western continent, but others doubt that he even knew what "culture" meant. There're also those who are having trouble imagining First Hero building anything, so the story is a bit hazy. All its quirks aside, it's a pretty solid real estate - lots of living space, giant garden attached, open air hot bath and a seaside view. Also, mountains of junk that all its inhabitants found to be curious during their travels across the planet, and brought back here to stash all over the mansion
You see, when Second Hero came around, as with every single fucking thing that involves Heroes, it became a tradition for all Heroic reincarnations to move into this house together with their whole crew after all of them - including the Maid - enroll into the University of Liberal Combat Arts, so this lovenest naturally became known as Hero Dormitory. Nobody except Hero Party is allowed to live here, so in between Impacts, this dorm is being preserved as a cultural heritage. In addition to the mansion itself having some sentimental value, all the oddities that Heroes collected during their time turn this place into an actual museum
Some of this junk is totally useless, some - a little less so. The exhibit that is of a particular interest to us right now is Hero Shrine - huge stone statue in a fairly remote room that shows a man and a woman sitting on a ground leaning on each other, with woman's head on a man's shoulder. It is generally assumed that statue depicts Original Hero and Original Saint - you know, those from ancient times nobody knows anything about - but it isn't based on anything. The most solid argument in favor of that assumption is "Who else could it be?"
There it is, by the way - it took a minute, but we have finally arrived
...
Every time I look at this statue, I'm reminded that all Heroes before me seem to like it a lot as well. I can definitely relate to that - it's quite peaceful here, like a long-awaited moment of calmness after a never-ending storm. Although, this odd yet soothing feeling of familiarity - like I'm about to remember something really important to me - I would honestly like to discard at the moment. I mean, I have enough weird memories to deal with as it is, already
The headache is getting a little bit less severe, though, so I'll take it as a sign of good fortune. Anyway, I don't think it's going to be that big of a reveal when I say we are going to use that spell I just got in front of this statue, so I'll skip all the dramatic build-up
>> Spark of Promise <<
*vroom* *vroom* *clang* *clang*
『W-what is happening?!』
Silly question really. The giant statue is moving backwards on its own, revealing a set of stairs that go underground for about two dozen steps, before reaching a doorway covered in a wall of thick silver fog. What else can possibly be happening, Jess?
『Jess, you probably should inform Lord Rector and the Guild that a new dungeon has just been discovered under Hero Dormitory. As the Lord of this Domain, it is my duty to explore this new anomaly and assess the level of threat it represents. Basically, I'm just gonna go and take a sneak peek, so wish me luck!』
『Hey, wait, I don't think... You can't just... How did you even... We don't really know what's down there!』
Let's agree to disagree, Jess. I know exactly what's down there
My own private dungeon that nobody except me can enter
『Damn it... Good luck, Troy!』
Did I ever tell you that Jess is alright?
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