S1E10 - I'll make my CHOICE, of which I'm certain
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The loading times are not really that long - it's just that the rest of the game is too fast
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...
Going. Where? Nothing. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice
Going. Where? Nothing. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice
Going. Where? Nothing. Dark. Cold. Quiet. Nice
*bonk*
Bonk? Why? Tasty! Tasty falls down! From where? Don't care! Tasty bonks me! Stupid Tasty! Eat Tasty!
>> ACQUIRED : Pearseverance [???]
*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*
>> WILLPOWER : (F) : 7 + 200 → → → WILLPOWER : (F) : 207
>> ACQUIRED : Seed of Keep Calm [???]
*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*
>> WILLPOWER : (F) + (1) : 207 → → → WILLPOWER : (E) : 207
Heh-heh, big mistake, Tasty! Bonks me, but why so tasty? Know better next time
Going. Where? Wait. Door is here. Why? Not going. Check door
Funny door. Door is here, but walls are not here. Nothing is here, but door is here. Funny door. Open
Room behind door. Why? Funny room. Small room. Empty room. Door on the left says - EXIT. Door in front don't say anything. Go EXIT?
Something else. Hole. Hole in the wall next to the door. Door still don't say anything. Hole says - PRESENT TICKET. Ticket? Don't know
Hand says - USE TICKET. Still don't know. Ticket, where?
Go back, look for ticket?
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Funny ticket. Hiding in my pocket. Door says - PRESENT TICKET. Present
Door opens. Going?
Strange feeling. Been here. Not before. Not me. Who? Funny feeling
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You enter a small room illuminated by a pale light of unknown origin. As you look around an empty space surrounded by walls, you fail to notice anything worth mentioning - save a single fancy cord, hanging from the ceiling right in front of you. This is, understandably, not quite what you were expecting to find at the end of your long journey, so you take a moment to contemplate your next course of action
>> STANDING THERE LOOKING CONFUSED - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> TRYING TO GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> STOMPING YOUR FEET ANGRILY - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> ROLLING ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> ATTEMPTING TO PUNCH THE CORD - does... qualify as pulling the cord
After your fist barely misses it, the cord starts to sway and wraps around your wrist surprisingly firmly, forcing you to pull on it with all your might to break free. As you do, you hear a cheerful popping sound, and see a neatly rolled up scroll, surrounded by a colorful confetti, falling right into your hands. It looks important, so you decide to consider your options carefully
>> STANDING THERE LOOKING CONFUSED - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> TRYING TO GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> EATING THE SCROLL - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> TOSSING THE SCROLL INTO YOUR POCKET - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> ATTEMPTING TO THROW AWAY THE SCROLL - does qualify as unfolding the scroll
Following your keen instincts, you decide to throw a scroll against the nearest wall as hard as you can - only to watch it bounce several times off of every surface it can reach, change trajectory midair, and land right on your face with a rather violent sound. Since all that jumping around managed to unfold the scroll in the process, you don't seem to have any other choice but to read its contents
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WELCOME BACK, DEAR CUSTOMER!!
We are extremely delighted by the fact that You have chosen to use our humble Express Rebirth Service again! Without a doubt, it shows remarkable strength of Your character that urges You to refuse any compromise on Your way to achieve absolute perfection - but we also hope that the high quality of services that we provide played a small part in Your well-thought-out decision to return. Our team takes pride in sparing no effort towards constantly improving an overall rebirth process, all just to make sure that You will have the most pleasant experience - hand-tailored specifically to your needs!
And, on that note - let's see what we are working with this time, shall we?
>> ENDURANCE : (E)
>> STRENGTH : (E)
>> SPEED : (G)
>> PERCEPTION : (F)
>> FOCUS : (C)
>> COORDINATION : (E)
>> MEMORY : (F)
>> INTELLECT : (G)
>> INTUITION : (D)
>> WILLPOWER : (E)
>> BRAVERY : (D)
>> WISDOM : (D)
... Now, if that isn't a perfect display of an outstanding talent, we don't know what is! But still, even this masterpiece can use a little tinkering
We know with an absolute certainty that, as a repeat customer, You are perfectly familiar with every single detail of an upcoming procedure! But if you, please, just allow us to briefly go over the main points once again, we would be most grateful. Safety protocols, as You surely understand
The Rebirth Process will start as soon as you step through the door marked NEXT that will appear on the wall directly in front of you momentarily. If, for some reason, You changed Your mind and decided to postpone the procedure, you can simply go through the door marked EXIT that will appear on the wall to you left at the same time
When you go through the NEXT door, you will be transported to the CHOICE room, with a SKIP door in front and EXT door to the left - but You will have no time to pay attention to any of that!! Because to the right, below a number corresponding to that particular room, you will see one of our own amazingly exciting super-secret proprietary inventions - CHOICE MAKING DEVICE!!
You will have to interact with the DEVICE in order to MAKE a CHOICE, which will surely bring you one step closer to an even more perfect version of Yourself (very hard to imagine). After the CHOICE has been MADE, You will immediately notice a spectacular change within!! Congratulations!!
If You are satisfied with those results, just use the EXIT door and enjoy Your new life, filled with countless benefits from you hard rebirthing labor!
In case, however, that You still want to make a few adjustments - simply proceed to the NEXT room through the NEXT door that will mysteriously replace the SKIP door, and try out other versions of our CHOICE MAKING DEVICES. A true prodigy (such as Yourself) can always appreciate an endless journey of self-improvement!!
On the off chance that You are dissatisfied with a specific DEVICE presented in the room (extremely unlikely), You can always use the SKIP door before interacting with the DEVICE to avoid this particular CHOICE MAKING and try Your luck with the NEXT DEVICE in the NEXT room. Please, remember, however, that You can only use SKIP door 8 (eight) times in total, before this door stops appearing altogether
NEXT door will appear as scheduled in every room You complete CHOICE MAKING process. Also, no door can be used after interacting with the DEVICE and before MAKING the CHOICE. Again, safety protocols
To make the DEVICE easily identifiable even before interacting with it, the color of each room made to correspond with the type of the CHOICE MAKING DEVICE installed in it. A person of Your caliber has, without a doubt, already etched all the color coding information right into the depths of Your vast and peculiar mind, so we honestly feel that our efforts in compiling it into an easy-to-follow diagram below is entirely wasted!
GREEN ROOM - does not actually...
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You tear the scroll off your face, flip it aside and look around once again. What the message said appears to be true - there are two new doors in the room - the one on the left that says EXIT, and the one in front of you that says NEXT. This time around, the option seems to be fairly obvious, so you don't feel like thinking too hard about it
>> GOING THROUGH EXIT DOOR
...
>> GOING THROUGH EXIT DOOR
...
>> GOING THROUGH EXIT DOOR........ does qualify as a viable choice
As you go in the direction of the door that leads you out of this whole situation, you suddenly feel the surge of curiosity - what intriguing novelties that NEXT door might be hiding? You pause for a moment to ponder
>> STILL GOING THROUGH EXIT DOOR
You take another step towards the exit, when a peculiar idea arrives at your mind - what if the plates on those doors were switched by some devious prankster, and the NEXT door is an actual EXIT door? Baffled by the possibility, you stop to think
>> GOING THROUGH EXIT DOOR ANYWAY
Determined to leave, you realize that the weather outside is a complete mystery to you at the moment. Bringing an umbrella along might prove useful, just in case of a rainy occasion. The room you're currently in is empty - but perhaps the NEXT room could have some sort of storage, filled to the brim with umbrellas and raincoats. If anything, it's something to consider
>> DASHING THROUGH EXIT DOOR AT FULL SPEED
You run towards the EXIT door like it's your long-lost lover suddenly appearing in front of you again - your infatuation with it is so great, that you can't seem to bear to spend even another second apart. But as soon as you take another step, you slip on the floor and land right on your face with full momentum. The sound of that collision was pretty nasty - some professional medical attention might not be completely unnecessary. Maybe there's a medic behind the NEXT door, who knows?
>> ROLLING ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> STOMPING YOUR FEET ANGRILY - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> ATTEMPTING TO PUNCH AN UNEXISTING ENTITY - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> MAKING THREATS TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> CALLING AN EMPTY SPACE A BUNCH OF NAMES - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> FLIPPING A BIRD TO SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EVEN THERE - does not qualify as a viable choice
>> STANDING THERE LOOKING CONFUSED - does not qualify as a viable choice, but you're getting somewhere
>> GOING THROUGH NEXT DOOR BECAUSE FUCK IT - does seem like an interesting idea
You drag your feet to the NEXT door with great vigor and slowly open it, as if to savor every moment of the beginning of your new adventure. A gushing wave of enthusiasm makes you unable to hide your anticipation - and you roll your eyes extra hard to indicate your excitement. You rise your middle finger once again in a triumphant yet playful gesture, finally step through the door and slam it shut behind you
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You enter a room similar in size to the one you've just been in, filled with GOLDen light, reassuring you that, at the end of the day, no choice is really wrong. Number 0 is written on the wall to your right. Below it, you see a table with a small box of intricate design on top of it. SKIP (8) door is right in front of you. And EXIT door is here as well. To your left, if you absolutely must know
You quickly realize that eyeballing EXIT door will not do you any good, and step towards the table
...
Any minute now
...
As you move closer, you come to the conclusion that this peculiar box must be the CHOICE MAKING DEVISE that the instructions mentioned before. The most obvious assumption about the nature of the CHOICE presented to you in this particular room would be that the way you attempt to open the box will present a significant meaning in determining the outcome. Remembering all the steps you took before arriving to this room, you wonder if taking a somewhat forceful approach would be...
>> GRABBING THE BOX AND REPEATEDLY SMASHING IT OVER YOUR HEAD - does qualify as attempting to open the box forcefully
The box shatters to peaces, revealing a shining sky-blue orb within. It floats for a second in front of you, before producing a small fountain of sparks and then disappearing along with it. Cheerful sound echoes through the room, informing you that the CHOICE has been MADE
>> STRENGTH : (E) + (1) → → → STRENGTH : (D)
More or less grasping the main idea behind an overall process that you're supposed to go through in this intriguing maze, you move through the NEXT door that has indeed replaced the door marked SKIP (8)
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The BRONZE glow that fills this next room makes you think that, sometimes, it is necessary to take a step back in order to move forward. Below a number 61 to your right you notice a stone pedestal with a familiar blue orb presented on it. Directly above it is a huge chunk of obsidian hanging from the ceiling on a rusted chain. As you take a step closer, the chain suddenly snaps, and enormous black mass starts falling down, threatening to destroy undoubtedly important orb. You're not really sure if you can manage to snatch the prize in time, without getting hurt in the process
>> STANDING THERE LOOKING CONFUSED - does qualify as giving up on trying to grab the orb in time
During the time you've been incredibly busy picking your nose, the chunk made its way towards the pedestal - and shattered to dust upon contact. It appears that this particular sort of obsidian is uncharacteristically brittle. The blue orb rolls from the pedestal into your hands - and disappears shortly after, with a sound no less cheerful than that you've already heard before
>> WISDOM : (D) + (1) → → → WISDOM : (C)
>> SPEED : (G) - (1) → → → SPEED : (G)
It seems that your surprisingly wise approach at decision-making will have to compensate for your obvious lack in the swiftness department
You take a careful aim at a non-existing direction, and fling the freshly harvested content of your left nostril with great momentum. As your vicious attack fails to reach its target - whatever it was, - you click your tongue and stomp through the NEXT door
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BRONZE light of the current room makes you wonder if every victory requires a certain level of sacrifice. On the right, below number 72, you notice a small hole in the wall - its depths, shrouded in darkness, might conceal a valuable treasure within. If you have the courage to explore it, that is
>> TRYING TO STICK YOUR DICK INTO THE HOLE - does qualify as trying to stick your hand into the hole
As you brazenly try to, for whatever reason, present your private part to a full public view you have a slight jamming accident with your pants. Treacherous zipper doing a solid number on your flaccid member provides you with no small amount of pain - which you stoically endure by rolling on the floor and enriching your vocabulary with new and exciting words you've just made up. Immediately after you vision comes back into focus, you jump back on your feet, shove your hand into the hole, grab whatever is inside - and try to throw it at the unspecified object of your misguided anger. Before you manage to complete your beautiful pitching motion, sky-blue orb disappears from your hand - leaving you out of ammo on your path of vengeance. Cheerful sound does make it hurt a little less, though
>> BRAVERY : (D) + (1) → → → BRAVERY : (C)
>> INTELLECT : (G) - (1) → → → INTELLECT : (G)
You loudly recite all the new words you just came up with several times in an attempt to preserve those linguistic masterpieces in your memory - and kick open the NEXT door
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This refreshing shade of BRONZE helps you make peace with the fact that every failure is a foundation of a new success. Below a number 66 you see a stone statue sticking out of the wall - with a vague resemblance to a giant orc head. In its wide open mouth, which is big enough for you to fit into without crouching, you notice a box with a label that clearly says EMPTY ANYWAY
>> IRONICALLY ACTING LIKE AN ANNOYING TOURIST - is still annoying, and also does qualify as stepping into statue's mouth
You lean forward, placing your neck within the reach of stone jaws - your face twisted in a futile attempt to display some form of joyful horror, and your hands energetically gesturing in a no less futile attempt at bringing attention of any potential audience to your obvious absence of acting abilities. No one is impressed - it's clearly obvious that you're capable of surviving indefinitely even without your empty head. Your blatant unoriginality in composing a creative shot, however, seems to offend the inorganic apparition, as its jaws begin their movement to slam the stone maw shut - but not before spitting out the aforementioned box from within its depths. Hit with the unexpected prize right in the forehead, you fall on your back, elegantly avoiding razor-sharp fangs you pretended to be terrified by just a moment ago. The box falls down shortly afterward, opening up in the process - just to reveal what the label was saying to be absolutely true. Actually ironic is the fact that the real treasure - old familiar orb - was hidden beneath the lower jaw, which is now lifted itself off the ground to provide easier access to your sky-blue friend
>> COORDINATION : (E) + (1) → → → COORDINATION : (D)
>> INTELLECT : (G) - (1) → → → INTELLECT : (G)
You kick the empty box and add a few more gems to your evergrowing vocabulary after it bounces off the wall and hits you on the head one more time. This colloquial exercise is suddenly interrupted by your own refreshingly non-ironic laughter, which accompanies you on your way through the NEXT door
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A pale SILVER light which envelops you upon the entrance seems to whisper that there might be points in time where only one course of action is truly correct. You realize that the blue spherical booty does not want to play coy this time around - it's laying on the floor in plain sight right below number 25. To avoid making things too easy, the wall in front of you disappear as you move closer - replaced by, for the lack of a better term, a giant pair of boobs. The fleshy menace quickly closing in on you from above, living you little time to make a decision - retreat, or stand your ground at the risk of being swallowed by this shapely avalanche
>> IT'S GIGA-MOTORBOAT TIME!! - does qualify as trying to stand your ground, why not?
Steeling your resolve with thunderous battle cry, you leap towards those looming mounds - just to vanish without a trace in the mysterious space between them. Long and arduous battle that followed, concealed from any and all onlookers, was only evident by loud rumbling noises and foolish giggling. In the end, you emerged victorious - with the orb in hand, looking significantly battered and extremely satisfied. The precious trophy quickly disappears before you even have the time to wipe that oh-right-it-was-also-there expression off your face
>> INTELLECT : (G) - (1) → → → INTELLECT : (G)
>> BRAVERY : (C) + (1) → → → BRAVERY : (B)
>> STRENGTH : (E) + (1) → → → STRENGTH : (D)
Your newfound inspiration helps you compose a March of an Absolute Victory, and you whistle it on the road to the NEXT adventure
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Since you've entered this GARNET-colored room, the idea of reaffirming your core motivation before taking any definitive action just couldn't leave your head. The pedestal on the right supports a highly-detailed statue of a dragon - big enough to almost completely cover number 141 on the wall behind it. In its half-open mouth, the winged creature holds a round object that does not require any further introduction by this point
>> PRETENDING TO BE A RODEO DRIVER - does qualify as interacting with the statue
You straddle the neck of a mighty fire breather, rock your body back and forth and flail your arms and legs around, indicating that you are definitely about to fall down. Which you actually do - as soon as the statue you've been riding disappears from underneath you. Cheerful sound that emphasizes your far-from-elegant landing lets you know that, sometimes, interacting with the DEVICE is the CHOICE in and of itself
>> WILLPOWER : (E) + (1) → → → WILLPOWER : (D)
>> BRAVERY : (B) - (1) → → → BRAVERY : (C)
>> WISDOM : (C) - (1) → → → WISDOM : (D)
Nothing else to do here - except to applaud a surprising amount of self-restrain you displayed by not choosing to try and put anything in the dragon's mouth. You congratulate yourself by falling on your knees with an expression of utter despair from perfectly wasted opportunity, repeatedly hitting the floor with your fists and occasionally glancing at the place where the statue used to be with some sort of hopeful longing. Your acting range is improving significantly, but the dragon isn't coming back any time soon. Moving on
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This GARNET-colored room puts you in the mood of going back to basics before advancing to any new technique. The statue on the right doesn't obstruct 137 from the view due to its unimposing posture - a sleeping nine-tailed fox that cradles in its paws...
>> TRYING TO T-BAG THE STATUE - does qualify as interacting with the statue
You leap towards a peaceful creature with wicked determination, kick the statue off the pedestal and start squatting on top of its head. Alas, before you can fully assume the position and make direct contact of any kind, the art piece evaporates with especially cheerful tune. Better luck next time!
>> PERCEPTION : (F) + (1) → → → PERCEPTION : (E)
>> FOCUS : (C) - (1) → → → FOCUS : (D)
>> COORDINATION : (D) - (1) → → → COORDINATION : (E)
Sometimes the only answer to the inevitability of the flow of time is to squat on the spot and stare into the void melancholically
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EMERALD glow this time around hints that any road traveled is another road not taken. You slam your fist into the button on the wall below number 90 - and the ceiling suddenly opens up, revealing a surface of a familiar planet breathtakingly far above your head. Sense of direction becomes distorted, and you feel the urge to hold on to something in an attempt to prevent yourself from plummeting towards an unavoidable demise
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
>> FLYING TO A CERTAIN DOOM WHILE FLIPPING A DOUBLE-BIRD - does qualify as letting go
You jump on the spot with both arms outstretched - dual-wielding a formidable emotional weapon in your hands, - only to land safely on your feet a few seconds later. Your lack of self-preserving tenacity seems to be overcompensated by your good memory - it is, indeed, extremely difficult to fall upwards. Good pull!
>> MEMORY : (F) + (1) → → → MEMORY : (E)
>> WILLPOWER : (D) - (1) → → → WILLPOWER : (E)
... The ceiling has closed up already, stop jumping around and get on with it!
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Another EMERALD hue leaves an afterthought about a give-and-take balance. A life-sized doll seemingly made out of bone is standing beside number 88 and presenting to you a weirdly-shaped sword with its hands. As you take it and make a few overexaggerated swings, the doll comes to life and lunges at you with an obviously hostile intention. The approaching razor-sharp blade makes you consider the prospect of dodging this deadly attack
>> CHOPPING THE HEAD OFF THE DOLL - does qualify as piercing the doll with the sword
Avoiding the slash from the doll's blade has been met with an unexpected obstacle - the doll does not have a blade, since it is, in fact, still in your hands. After you immediately put it to good use, the detached head of an apparition rotates a couple of times in the air, before smashing to pieces and revealing you-know-what inside. Flawless victory!
>> MEMORY : (E) + (1) → → → MEMORY : (D)
>> PERCEPTION : (E) - (1) → → → PERCEPTION : (F)
It seems that you are good at paying attention - if not to what is, then at least to what was. No, you can't keep the sword, it's gone already
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DIAMOND haze weaves the melody about the choices that might be different but still correct all the same. A round table covered in blue cloth below number 10 has three cards on it, each one with a different picture - a jester, a builder, and a king. You're probably expected to pick one. You think
>> FLIPPING THE TABLE OVER - does still qualify as picking a Builder Card, 'cause fuck it
As you attempt to literally turn the table, the cards fly all over the place - but one still somehow manages to outsmart your evasive maneuvers and land on top of your head. And it's a Builder Card, what luck!
>> MEMORY : (D) + (1) → → → MEMORY : (C)
Your careful choice provides you with additional epiphany - you are absolutely certain that you have achieved all that you've come to this place for. But still, you're somehow also pretty sure that the NEXT door might hold a little reward for your commendable patience
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It's bronze again, and by now - you know what it means. Street vendor stall near number 58 has only one item on display - a plate full of smoking excrement. A flashy sign over the stall assures you that it's absolutely FREE, but this very tempting SPECIAL OFFER is extremely LIMITED. As if to prove this point, the glowing numbers appear in the air as you step closer, changing in a way that can only indicate one thing - you have but mere seconds to make a PURCHASE! The feeling of fake urgency makes it difficult to refrain. Probably
>> STRIKING A WTF-EVEN-IS-THIS!? POSE - does qualify as possessing a bare minimum level of intelligence. Also, no deal
The floating numbers fade, the time runs out - and if you could be bothered to check, you would've noticed that this precious item is, indeed, still FREE regardless. But the lack of LIMITS on this SPECIAL OFFER does not motivate even you, of all people, so none of your usual antics seem to be in order
>> SPEED : (G) - (1) → → → SPEED : (G)
>> INTELLECT : (G) + (1) → → → INTELLECT : (F)
And now you feel to be a good time to reunite with your beloved EXIT door! A promise of her long-awaited warm embrace fills your every step with much vigor, as you...
>> GOING THROUGH NEXT DOOR........ you know what, sure, go ahead
You step through the NEXT door, glancing somewhere with unwarranted suspicion, as you decide to continue your journey for reasons unexplained
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RUST. That means no choice is right, and that's what covers everything in this room. Walls, ceiling, floor - and a familiar table with no less familiar intricately designed and fully rusted box below number 143. The feeling of utter despair permeates the air and corrodes your mind, assuring you of the inevitable failure no matter what you do. If only, you quietly hope, you could somehow SKIP interacting with this menacing DEVICE and...
>> GRABBING THE BOX AND REPEATEDLY SMASHING IT OVER YOUR HEAD - might not bear the results you're expecting
You grab the box, but your attempt to forcibly pry it open gets interrupted by a horrifying screech - the lid of the box flies off, revealing a monstrous mouth filled with rows after rows of rusted sickle-shaped teeth. It constantly squirms, foul stench oozing from it, as if looking for the next prey to sate its hunger - and your face seems to be it. Your vision gets obstructed, and the smell becomes unbearable - try it as may to tear this creature off you, it sunk its numerous fangs deep into your flesh, covering your face with disgusting saliva and threatening to tear it off completely, sucking it deeper and deeper into the bottomless void that lies within this all-consuming maw
Struggling for air, you lose consciousness - and when you come to, the creature is nowhere to be found. You cautiously touch your face, but its shape seems to be perfectly normal, to your relief
>> STRENGTH : (D) - (1) → → → STRENGTH : (E)
You furiously shake your head several times just to be sure, and have a sudden moment of clarity - you're just about done with this place
>> GOING THROUGH NEXT DOOR - does make EXIT door feel neglected a little bit, but whatever
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If anything, this SALT color suggests that, beyond a certain point, cutting your losses before SKIPPING town is the best possible decision. The sign below number 99 that says RESTRICTED AREA DO NOT APPROACH also might be trying to suggest something, but you're already right beside it - jumping up and down and waving your hands to ensure that your presence would not go unnoticed. Commendable effort immediately pays off, as a pleasant voice coming out from somewhere above informs you about security measures that have just been deployed, and then leaves you to wonder about the exact nature of those measures - with extremely loud alarm to help stimulate your imagination. The gesture proves to be of no particular necessity - you arrive at the answer by simply looking back : the room, now mysteriously elongated into a shape of a narrow corridor, is crossed at various angles by multiple ominous-looking rays of energy. They orientation may differ, but they are perfectly aligned in the speed and direction they are moving - straight towards you, and fast. Any of these beams looks like it can easily cut you in half, but why jump to conclusions when a proper experiment can provide indisputable clarification
>> BELLY-DANCING YOUR WAY THROUGH THE BEAMS - does qualify as trying to reaction-dodge incoming beams
Your silly convulsions - an honest attempt to imitate some form of exotic dance - gets you, surprisingly, through almost all the rays without a single scratch. The remaining two, however, have a party trick up their sleeve as well - they briefly combine, and when split apart again, they present a grid of rays in a form of a fishnet in front of you. Before you can recall the precise number of dance moves available to a pile of neatly cut meat cubes, the net collides with you at full speed - and drags you along with it. After it slams you against a warning sign, it moves away a little - and slams you at the wall again. And again. A couple of more times. A couple of dozens more times. For good measure
>> BRAVERY : (C) + (1) → → → BRAVERY : (B)
>> INTELLECT : (F) - (1) → → → INTELLECT : (G)
>> FOCUS : (D) - (1) → → → FOCUS : (E)
The room returns to the original shape, the beams are gone - and even alarm has faded away, seemingly not wanting to overlap with your loud was-that-actually-it-because-I-seem-to-be-perfectly-fine snort you produce as you get back on your feet. This triumphant sound suddenly makes you think - what if that is actually it? What more do you stand to gain by staying in this bizarre maze any longer than absolutely necessary? Every NEXT room seems to be assigned at random, and, so far, you've been extremely lucky - but how far do you really intend to push it? You already got what you wanted, so why...
>> FLIPPING A BIRD TO SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EVEN THERE - suddenly can be pretty useful in this situation
As you rise your middle finger towards your own voice of reason, some barely discernible hieroglyphs covering your wrist catch your eye - incomprehensible to anybody else, their meaning does not elude you, since you're the one who wrote them. The part that says >>> MEM=C BRV=C THEN EXIT <<< makes you realize that your own instructions suggest that using EXIT door is in order
>> GOING THROUGH NEXT DOOR WHILE STILL FLIPPING A BIRD - is making EXIT door cry, you filthy cheater
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The feeling of not a single option being correct tastes like MUD. Square table below 154 hosts three cards with horrific creatures depicted on them - nine-tailed beast, giant centipede, and a swarm of tentacles. None of them look particularly enticing, and there's probably no benefit in making this CHOICE altogether
>> GRABBING ALL THE CARDS AND TRYING TO EAT THEM - does qualify as picking the first card you touch
Which is the tentacle one. The room is gone, by the way - and so are the light and the sound. You look around, but there's nothing but dark, cold, oppressing emptiness, consuming your whole being like a giant belly of an indifferent monster. Above you, far beyond any possible reach, you notice a faint shimmering, barely visible through what seems to be a quiet surface of water - but even that glimmer of fake hope brings no relief, as the enormous tentacle that suddenly grabs you starts pulling your deeper and deeper, towards its horrifying source. Slimy protrusion envelops your body, rendering futile any attempt to wrestle out of its deadly grasp, slowly squeezing the air out of your lungs, twisting your limps, crushing your bones. The unfazed void swallows the remains of your scream, washes away the blood that's oozing from every pore of your body - and provides the only company for your never-ending descent to your soon-to-be much desired gruesome end
>> ENDURANCE : (E) - (1) → → → ENDURANCE : (F)
When you notice that you are back in the room again, the freshly experienced soul-crushing eternity makes you spend a little more time than usual getting back on your feet. You take this opportunity to re-evaluate your life CHOICES seriously, for once, and consider the following - no irreversible changes that might nullify all your previous efforts have occurred as of yet, but you can tell with the utmost certainty that this lucky streak can not sustain itself indefinitely. You've made your point, you say to yourself, whatever that point might have been - it's time to welcome a somewhat broader perspective on this whole situation. You have places to be, things to do - and wasting time on this weird obstacle course is not one of them. You think
>> STANDING THERE LOOKING UNBEARABLY SMUG - is pretty much self-explanatory
As indicated by obnoxious fecaloconsuming grin plastered across your face, logic is completely powerless against your misdirected defiance. Your grudge has no specific target, your beef has no clearly defined opponent - yet you still choose to press on with your pointless rebellion. Throwing away the results of all your struggles up until now like it's nothing, getting thrown who knows how far behind even the point you started at, needlessly charging again and again through self-perpetuating string of failures - all of that holds no plausible meaning for just about anybody else but you. Or maybe you're hoping that this meaning will somehow present itself after this unnecessary fight is over, miraculously emerging from within whatever outcome all of this brings - who can tell, really? You've made up your mind, what's left is just to go through with it
Jumping into every unwinnable battle like a complete idiot is your specialty, after all
>> SKIPPING CHEERFULLY THROUGH NEXT DOOR - does not bother EXIT door in the slightest, she moved on at this point
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The color is MAGENTA because you don't feel like putting any actual effort. The festive fortune wheel with 159 in the middle isn't worth describing in detail - you're just going to spin it before the explanation is over anyway
>> FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA!! - isn't even an action. You're just talking to yourself for whatever reason
You grab the wheel with both hands, latch on, and spin together with it at nauseating speed. After the fun time is over, the room seems to be still spinning, and you feel sick
>> STRENGTH : (E) → → → STRENGTH : (D)
>> SPEED : (G) → → → SPEED : (B)
>> FOCUS : (E) → → → FOCUS : (D)
>> COORDINATION : (E) → → → COORDINATION : (G)
>> INTELLECT : (G) → → → INTELLECT : (E)
>> INTUITION : (D) → → → INTUITION : (E)
>> BRAVERY : (B) → → → BRAVERY : (G)
>> WISDOM : (D) → → → WISDOM : (E)
Funny feeling you have - if you had someone tagging along on this journey of yours, now would be the perfect time for this hypothetical companion to leave you to your own devices, and wish you the best of luck, you stubborn idiot. Really funny, since, from the very beginning, you've been completely on your own
As you will - and, perhaps, shall - be from now on
>> NEXT DOOR BABYYYY!! - even though it's over, EXIT door is still somehow rooting for you
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The RAIN always puts you into a restless mood, and today is no exception. You step away from the window and start pacing around the room in a desperate attempt to calm down that indescribable urge that seems to grow stronger within you with every passing minute. After a while, it finally takes form - it is hunger that you're feeling, and your kitchen swiftly transforms into a scene of pure mayhem, as you try to sate it with anything even remotely edible you can find. None of the food you have seems to agree with your stomach, though, and after a brief visit to the toilet, you start feverishly pacing again. The hunger grows, it becomes overwhelming - and then it starts to hurt. More and more, until you can no longer bear it - almost driven mad, you bite into your own arm in order to suppress inhuman scream that was about to fill your mouth. What fills it, instead, is the taste of your blood, providing a long sought-after answer to the question of what exactly you've been craving for - and you bite harder, sinking your teeth deeper into delicious flesh
You can finally have your fill
>> ENDURANCE : (A) - (1) → → → ENDURANCE : (B)
>> STRENGTH : (G) + (1) → → → STRENGTH : (F)
>> SPEED : (B) + (1) → → → SPEED : (A)
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Those RUBY-colored drapes are easy to remember - a very useful trait, since things here tend to repeat themselves if you don't pay attention
This place really have the way of getting under one's skin - but thanks to its eerie nature, you've managed to give a slip to your annoying pursuers. Those sorry bastards are probably stuck running in circles somewhere deep in this maze - those of them who are still alive, anyway. Which wouldn't be too many, proving again that you still haven't lost your touch. Too bad about the old man, he was pretty useful all in all, but what else could you have done - he was starting to slow you down, and you can't afford to waste any time. Not here, not in this place - you need to get through as soon as possible and always, always, always pay attention. Only a little bit more, and this will become just another story to tell, but for now - new room is just around the corner, so don't let anything distract you. Focus, observe, pay attention, make absolutely sure that you haven't been in a room like that before - and only then proceed, without forgetting to take a mental note. Something noticeable will do
Those RUBY-colored drapes are easy to remember - a very useful trait, since things here tend to repeat themselves if you don't pay attention
>> ENDURANCE : (S) + (1) → → → ENDURANCE : (S)
>> PERCEPTION : (F) + (1) → → → PERCEPTION : (E)
>> MEMORY : (B) - (1) → → → MEMORY : (C)
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At first, it was just fun watching it fall. Grain after grain, the pile of SAND was getting bigger - its shape utterly devoid of any noteworthy features, yet somehow you were so sure that, eventually, it will form into something interesting. As the size of the pile grew larger, its formless nature remained unchanged - still, you kept watching it, convincing yourself that this amount of sand simply has to amount to at least something in the end. When the resistance to wishful self-suggestions became high enough, you decided to give it shape with your own hands - your vivid imagination provided you with no shortage of possible options. Failures did not discourage you too much, but after noticing that even those few attempts that could probably be called successful were swept away by a constant stream of falling grains, you realized that moving as far away as possible and starting anew might as well be your only solution - but by then you were stuck to deep in the sand. The evergrowing pile weighting down on you, you tried to stop any additional sand from falling - but inevitable grains were sifting through fingers, until they eventually covered you whole
And then this pile finally took the form it was building towards from the very beginning
>> STRENGTH : (D) → → → STRENGTH : (B)
>> SPEED : (A) → → → SPEED : (D)
>> FOCUS : (SS) → → → FOCUS : (A)
>> COORDINATION : (F) → → → COORDINATION : (SS)
>> INTELLECT : (E) → → → INTELLECT : (F)
>> INTUITION : (G) → → → INTUITION : (E)
>> BRAVERY : (E) → → → BRAVERY : (G)
>> WISDOM : (B) → → → WISDOM : (E)
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This guy is definitely up to no good. PHLOX-colored jumpsuit is one thing, weird mask is another - but chopping you in half with a giant blade is what seals the deal, really. You'll have enough time to think about how exactly are you still alive later, but for now you - the upper half of you - are frantically crawling up the stairs to the door leading out of the basement. Your escape cut short, however, when you are just a few steps away - you can feel someone placing foot on your shoulder, pushing you down the depths it took you so much effort to climb up from. You look up and realize that your lower half had a similar idea - your detached legs are making their way towards the doorway, using you as a literal stepping stone in the process. You can hear heavy breathing dangerously close, and, before you're dragged somewhere unspeakable, only one thought has enough time to cross your mind
It swings inside - and I'm the half with the arms, you idiot
>> STRENGTH : (S) → → → STRENGTH : (B)
>> SPEED : (E) → → → SPEED : (A)
>> FOCUS : (E) → → → FOCUS : (S)
>> COORDINATION : (D) → → → COORDINATION : (E)
>> INTELLECT : (B) → → → INTELLECT : (S)
>> INTUITION : (A) → → → INTUITION : (E)
>> BRAVERY : (S) → → → BRAVERY : (E)
>> WISDOM : (E) → → → WISDOM : (D)
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Those SAPPHIRE eyes were the most memorable part of the photo that went viral today - but that's not what held your attention. Despite being the best photograph of him - it - so far, the quality is still terrible - but, despite that, you recognize those features. You saw it before, most definitely - but going through all your family members and friends in your mind does not connect the face with any particular person. Regardless, the fact that you might be acquainted with it makes you sick - the reports omit almost all the details, but even in their mildest form they leave no room for doubt about the true nature of this horrifying monster. That thing is not human - it just looks like one, but that just makes all those atrocities it commits even more revolting. But who is it? If it's not anybody you know, it must be someone you see often enough - and you desperately grasp at the face of every passerby on your way home. What if it walks beside me everyday on my way to work? What if it rides the same train? What if it watches me right now? What if it knows? The safety of your own home brings you little relief - you can still feel the oppressive gaze, even after checking all the locks for the umpteen time. You skip dinner and go straight to bed after brushing your teeth. As you trying to get at least a wink of sleep, you promise yourself to order some additional furniture tomorrow
After all, it is pretty inconvenient to not have a single mirror in the house
>> PERCEPTION : (F) - (1) → → → PERCEPTION : (G)
>> MEMORY : (F) - (1) → → → MEMORY : (G)
>> WILLPOWER : (A) + (1) → → → WILLPOWER : (S)
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All that this PURPLE radio produces is a static noise - yet you've been listening to it for several hours without a break. Your mind keeps wandering off, but you don't get bored, as you keep looking for obviously nonexistent patterns within those random acoustic fluctuations. Started as silly entertainment, those fruitless efforts now transformed themselves into a competitive sport - the results might be unobtainable by definition, but your determination to achieve them is anything but real. So much so, that you don't even get surprised when you finally find what you've been looking for - the usual chaos suddenly reveals a hidden layer of structural integrity that brings all that seemingly meaningless information together. Patterns emerge one after another, and you break into a cold sweat - this is no longer just noise to you, you can understand it. It's a message, and it's saying something to you - and you know exactly what that something is
That is, indeed, what she said
>> STRENGTH : (R) → → → STRENGTH : (U)
>> SPEED : (U) → → → SPEED : (R)
>> FOCUS : (E) → → → FOCUS : (V)
>> COORDINATION : (V) → → → COORDINATION : (E)
>> INTELLECT : (E) → → → INTELLECT : (N)
>> INTUITION : (N) → → → INTUITION : (E)
>> BRAVERY : (I) → → → BRAVERY : (N)
>> WISDOM : (N) → → → WISDOM : (I)
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This EVERGREEN wall paint sure takes forever to dry. As you stare at it slowly doing so, you realize that your stream of thoughts finally run out of places to flow to - and you stop your thinking completely. You don't know how long it's been since then - you don't think about time at all, which makes it self-evident to you that the commonly accepted idea of time progression is nothing more than an illusionary construct of feeble mind struggling to comprehend the concept of anything happening without tying it up to a primitive before-after relativity scale first. All those countless versions of the ever-changing universe exist simultaneously as standalone portions of a unified complexity - if we weren't so busy trying to label those portions with corresponding moments, assign a specific number to each of them, and rearrange those numbers into a linear sequence, it would become clear to us that the time is a purely fictional entity. Understanding of that simple fact fills you with indescribable sense of inner peace - the feeling that gets unceremoniously interrupted by a sudden realization that in some portions of the great unified complexity this damn wall paint never gets dry
This idea terrifies you, and you decide to start thinking again
>> STRENGTH : (S) → → → STRENGTH : (G)
>> SPEED : (A) → → → SPEED : (S)
>> INTELLECT : (G) → → → INTELLECT : (E)
>> INTUITION : (E) → → → INTUITION : (A)
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Something is definitely off with this toothpaste. The taste is too loud, for starters - enough to hurt your ears, and the pitch is horribly unpleasant to boot. The color is clogging up your nostrils with the smell of old MOCCASINs, and the sound it makes when it grinds against your teeth tastes like bacon fried in a kitchen soap. The smell that fills the bathroom is very squishy and slimy on the surface with something obviously hard underneath - and that disgusting texture keeps flashing so brightly and randomly that it hurts your eyes and makes you squint. You conclude the overall experience with a resolute thought that marketing department surely hit the jackpot when naming this product
It's hard to imagine a more fitting name for this paste
>> PERCEPTION : (B) → → → PERCEPTION : (G)
>> FOCUS : (F) → → → FOCUS : (B)
>> COORDINATION : (G) → → → COORDINATION : (F)
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DUST. It covers everything - the tired ground, the withered trees, the ruined buildings, the broken cars. Even the sky is seemingly covered with it, filled with dust-colored heavy clouds, frozen in place and completely blocking the sun. The whole world is like that - you made sure to take a proper look when you were still traveling around. There was nothing else to do, since all that wandering was in vain - not a single living soul could be found, no matter how hard you tried. You are the only one remaining - since you came to terms with that fact, you've just been standing here, pondering about any possible reason as to why. No sound interrupts your thoughts, no movement, not even slightest gust of wind - this unchanging world shows no affection for its last inhabitant. You look back on the still - and forever - untouched traces you left when you came here, hoping to enjoy at least some proactive addition to this unmoving scenery - and notice that footsteps are facing the wrong direction. Whether you were walking backwards or simply put on your shoes the wrong way, remains a mystery - as you look down, you don't see anyone in the place where your very being is supposed to be. Next, you start looking around in a hurry, but quickly give up - there's nobody to double-check it with anyway
It appears that whoever was here has left a long time ago
>> ENDURANCE : (F) → → → ENDURANCE : (F)
>> PERCEPTION : (A) → → → PERCEPTION : (A)
>> MEMORY : (D) → → → MEMORY : (D)
>> WILLPOWER : (E) → → → WILLPOWER : (E)
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You step into a room that is clearly different from those you traveled through so far - for starters, there's no SKIP, NEXT, or EXIT door anywhere in sight. In fact, since the one behind you disappeared, as per usual, there are no doors in this room at all, and any sort of DEVICE also fails to make an appearance. Number 256 is on the wall in front, and a fancy cord is hanging from the ceiling not far from where you stand - otherwise, the room is completely empty
>> LET'S GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH AND PULL THAT FUCKING CORD
The colorful confetti isn't accompanied by any scrolls this time around, so it just slowly falls on your head to the tune of joyful melody. Giant glowing letters form a word CONGRATULATIONS above the number 256, the melody stops, and you hear a voice coming from somewhere above you
『...I'm telling you, man - it's aaaall in the grind! Seriously, you're, like, rushing too much, there's no timer on this thing. Just take your time, explore a bit, get some useful... Wait, what the... Eh? Eh!? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!??』
You hear a loud sound, usually produced by a person falling off the chair, followed by a series of panic-induced noises
『Dude, somebody's, like, here!!... No, in the room!!... Yes, that one, what other rooms... How should I know!? That never happened before, what do I do!?... Are you nuts, I can't do that!!... Forget it, I'll call you back!!... Shit-shit-sit, what do I do!? What-do-I-do-what-do-I-do-what-what-do-I-do-what-do-I-do-what-do-I-GWEH!!』
You hear another loud sound, usually produced by a person falling off the chair again, followed by a series of extreme panic-induced noises
『...Right, the script, where is it!?... Is that thing working? Erm, um, h-hello? C-can you, like, h-hear me? Probably he can, anyway, here goes nothing... Ahem!! Any staff member that has been outside of direct observation for the period exceeding 3 cycles and displays symptoms of Reality Questioning, has the urge to Disappear At Any Moment, or behaves in any other way that is not included in the Standard Safety Patterns during Restabilization, should be immediately transferred to the Existence Affirmation Unit without... Erm, eh, wah? Ah.』
You hear a loud sound of a person sitting in the chair completely frozen in horror, followed by an ultimate panic-induced silence
『WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Shit-shit-shit, fucku-fuck-fuck, fuck-shit-fuck-shit-fuuuuuuuck!! I'm so screwed, now what do I do!? Fuck, I'm so totally getting reassinged now! And it's such a good place too, why did he had to go and pop up out of nowhere? Wait, I know! I should just, like, kill him and pretend that nothing happened! It's totally his fault anyway, and... Oh, this thing is still working, shit! Erm, um, h-hello? Y-you probably still can h-hear me, right? Look, I read you the wrong page, and it's, like, super secret stuff, and supervisor's gonna be totally angry, for sure, and I don't wanna get, like, transferred to some Room Maintenance, or something, and I was totally kidding about killing you, by the way, so can you, like, forget about everything you heard, because, you see, you'll be, like, totally helping me out here, man, and also...』
You have a feeling that it's going to take a while
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『A-a-ahem!! Congratulations on Your outstanding achievement, Dear Customer!! You have fully completed the course that we at Express Rebirth Service have prepared for you, proving once again that our clients can truly be considered an absolute pinnacle of perfection! Through the whole duration of this procedure you demonstrated an unbending dedication in pursuing you personal goals and, do I, like, have to read all of this? It's, like, three pages long, man, I'm totally tired from just flipping through them! But, dude, you really went through all the rooms, huh? I mean, I kinda know you did, that's how you got here, but still, that's, like, wild, man! Nobody's, like, done it before, I hear it super hard, or something! You must really want them stats, man, or I don't know. Oh, right, lets check your final results real quick!』
>> ENDURANCE : (E) → → → (E)
>> STRENGTH : (E) → → → (E)
>> SPEED : (G) → → → (G)
>> PERCEPTION : (F) → → → (F)
>> FOCUS : (C) → → → (C)
>> COORDINATION : (E) → → → (E)
>> MEMORY : (F) → → → (F)
>> INTELLECT : (G) → → → (G)
>> INTUITION : (D) → → → (D)
>> WILLPOWER : (E) → → → (E)
>> BRAVERY : (D) → → → (D)
>> WISDOM : (D) → → → (D)
『.......................Pfffffa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! What the fuck, maaaaaaan, that's, like, totally super funny! You, like, went trough all this shit, and it's, like, the same as before? Pffft, how do you even, like, I don't know! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Seriously, that's fucking hilarious, can't wait to tell everybody at the... erm, uuuuh, heh-heh! Too bad, huh? Heh-heh-heh! Weeeell, don't worry about it, you can, like, pffft, totally try again if you want, man! Just get another ticket and, like... hey, waaaait-a-mmminit! I have to, like, totally give you this super-special Unlimited Pass, since you, like, did the whole thing and all! So now you can, like, try as many times as you want, or whatever (笑)! Where was it again... Hmm? Hold on a sec, I got a call... Yes, hello? Eh? Y-yes... H-he's, like, right here and... N-no, I was just... Huh? But he did the whole thing and... W-well, I can't just... Eh? Y-yes... But instructions... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh... Oooooh!... U-huh... Rally?... U-huh... U-huh... U-huh...』
There was 96 U-HUHs in total before this conversation was finally over
『Soooooooooooo, like, listen, man, here's the thing, OK? I, like, totally have to give you this special ticket, but I was just in this group call, you see, and my supervisor was, like, there, you know, and then Maintenance guy was, like, really angry for some reason, and then they were, like, arguing about something with the chick from Security, and Legal dude was saying something, and then the supervisor of my supervisor left to talk to his, like, supervisor, and then they said that I, like, have to talk you into trading this Unlimited Pass thingy for some other stuff, so you're, like, totally cool with it, right? I mean, like, that other thing is also totally awesome, you know, and you're, like, super chill, so erm, um, uuuuum, here!!』
A prestigious-looking diploma appears in the air right in front of you face, and you can see that it says CERTIFICATE OF PERFECTION. Should you take it, you wander, or try to re-negotiate?
>> WHO THE FUCK CARES AT THIS POINT
You grab the piece of paper, notice that the cheerful sound has a subtle note of extra-relief, and see the glowing CONGRATULATIONS change into FINALIZING RESULTS, then BUILD SUCCESSFUL, and finally ENJOY!!!, as your surroundings start to become blurry
『Oh, hey, thanks, man!! You're, like, amazing, you know! Anyway, what the fuck did you do in there, dude, the Maintenance guy was, like, flipping out for real, and he said that next time he sees you... Oh, wait, you're leaving, huh? Bye-bye!!』
You feel your consciousness slipping away somewhere, and realize that this particular journey has finally come to its end. Whatever is waiting for you next, you just want to wish yourself the best of luck, sincerely this time
No hard feelings
『...Hey, man, I know it's, like, a lot to ask, but you're, like, actually super chill, so I was thinking - can you, like, remember me? I mean, you're totally real, like, REAL-real, you know, and I heard that when someone, like, proper REAL knows that you exist, you totally can't disappear, no kidding... and that sounds... like... nice, you know... so maybe you could... I don't know...』
The quiet mumbling fades in the distance, and you feel like you're slowly falling in all directions at once
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>> TITLE ACQUIRED : Naturalborn Idiot
>> All those effort you've spent just to arrive back at the starting line taught you exactly one thing - double the efforts next time
>> ACQUIRED : CERTIFICATE OF PERFECTION [???]
Stand platform. Why? Tired. Where? Hole. Know the hole. Fall-up-fall-down hole. Why? Tired
Hand holds something. Why? What? Throw away?
>> It's (more or less) tasty, kid
Tasty? Tasty! Eat Tasty
*munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*
>> ENDURANCE : (E) + (1) : 211 + 300 → → → ENDURANCE : (D) : 511
>> STRENGTH : (E) + (1) : 15 + 150 → → → STRENGTH : (D) : 165
>> SPEED : (G) + (1) : 4 + 150 → → → SPEED : (F) : 154
>> PERCEPTION : (F) + (1) : 16 + 300 → → → PERCEPTION : (E) : 316
>> FOCUS : (C) + (1) : 116 + 150 → → → FOCUS : (B) : 266
>> COORDINATION : (E) + (1) : 8 + 150 → → → COORDINATION : (D) : 158
>> MEMORY : (F) + (1) : 12 + 300 → → → MEMORY : (E) : 312
>> INTELLECT : (G) + (1) : 8 + 150 → → → INTELLECT : (F) : 158
>> INTUITION : (D) + (1) : 120 + 150 → → → INTUITION : (C) : 270
>> WILLPOWER : (E) + (1) : 207 + 300 → → → WILLPOWER : (D) : 507
>> BRAVERY : (D) + (1) : 111 + 150 → → → BRAVERY : (C) : 261
>> WISDOM : (D) + (1) : 108 + 150 → → → WISDOM : (C) : 258
Tasty not a real Tasty! Don't care. Tired. Get out of hole. Get rest. Get not so tired
Getting up. Grab vine. No vine. Vine, where? Don't know. Getting up, how? Tired
Jump. Fall up, fall down. Out of hole now. Tired
Need sleep. Where? Stone lady. Door between legs. There. Tired
Tired. Tired. Tired. Going. Tired
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『Hey there, *snort* brother! Thanks a lot for this wonderful *snort* present of yours, you're welcome in this palace anytime you... Hey, are you serious?』
Couch. Comfy. Sleep. Tired. Sleep.
『You're trying to make this into a thing, huh?............... Snort』
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