Every fibre of what I consider to be really strong body is calling out in panic. The every-day-Bob before me doesn't look like much, but my instincts are kicking at me like a donkey. They're screaming that the bum sitting across from me is a serious threat.

One wrong word and I could be done for here.

Aren't I the worst person to be in this situation? Why didn't he take Me instead? That would have been so much better. He's always got something useful to say.

Shit!

He's still staring at me and I haven't said a word since he asked the obviously rhetorical question. I mean, he has to know the answer. Why else would he summon me here and ask? Does he even want me to answer it?

Where are Light and Dropper when I need them!?

"In my defense... I didn't know you were real," my answer is that weak, I feel ashamed to have even said it. Everyone knows there are gods out there. This one, however, his gaze doesn't falter and it feels as though he's drilling away at my soul with those piercing, blue eyes of his.

Please don't do that. I've only got this one and I don't know how fragile it is after going from human to Dungeon Core. Plus, it's kinda your fault in the first place that I'm this way.

"Real or not, you think you can mock me?" The weight of his presence doubles and I feel the full force of it bearing down on me. It's like gravity had just quadrupled, but it's only centered on me. The guy in the khakis looks fine.

"I... Didn't mean to... Call you lazy. I just... Well, you did kind of leave The System running without any supervision though, right?"

If I though it was heavy before, it means I still aren't taking him seriously enough. Even hough I'm shaking. The fact that gravity got even heavier after my last comment as the self-professed God stood in front of me, glaring at me with the full force of his rage was enough.

Shit! I'm going to die here. This guy's not just a little bit annoyed about what I said. He took it as a full-force insult and challenge to his honour! What the fuck? Dude, it was just an off-handed comment by your friendly neighborhood Dungeon Core. Please don't kill me over it!

"I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to say that about your... Majestic godliness... Or, something like that?" My eyes dart to the floor as my mind processes what my mouth said.

Yes. That was good. It was an actual apology, wasn't it? That's got to be some points in my favor. It got a little sketchy at the end, but it's all good. I'm on track.

"Something like that!" Are the only words he seemed to have hung in and he bellows them back at me.

Or not.

Come on, dude. Don't be like that. What about the beautiful apology before that part? I even threw in a compliment for free, you know? Have you seen those shorts that you're wearing? Did you seriously think, I'll look good in these. Ha. And what about that bath robe? I mean, a bath robe and shorts? What look are you actually going for? I could have said so much worse, but I handled it quite well and my apology was pretty spot on.

"You continue to mock me, child. And to think I was going to let you off with a mere thousand years of service."

"Like fuck! Saying shit like that isn't going to make me grovel for forgiveness, you prick!"

Not that I'd say that to his face.

"How dare you speak to me like that! I will send your soul to the furthest depths of the universe to sit in penance for the next millennia!"

Oops.

This is not going my way. I'm shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely. Pretty sure I might have pissed myself a second ago too, but I'm too scared to check. Why did I have to go and say that out loud? I don't wanna rot in the universe.

Although now that I think about it, isn't his punishment kind of lazy too? Sending me off somewhere for a predetermined amount of time where he doesn't have to deal with me. Yeah, that's lazy as fuck. What is it with this guy? Or God?

"Doesn't that kind of prove my point? About being lazy and what not. Sending me off so that you don't have to deal with me? Either way, since I'm here, can't you just give me some good ideas or kiss-ass powers or something? You could send me back down better than ever, couldn't you?"

"I could, but I won't be doing that." A ball of darkness appears at the tip of his finger. It's small, but the power coming from it is strong.

"But it would help you, wouldn't it? Having me do all your dungeon work for you."

I wait in silence as he considers my proposal. His magic slowly fizzling out. "Do not try to trick me, mortal. The System I set in place will function until the end of time if left undisturbed. Why do I need you to do it for me when I have that, and when I would much rather punish you."

What is it with wanting to punish me? I didn't even do anything wrong. Calling someone lazy is not a crime, douchebag.

"I can manage The System for you, just in case anything ever goes wrong again. Surely you know it's been experiencing some problems lately. My V.A.U.N.S says they're bugs. But, I can do that all that free of charge as well as helping the humans advance."

"Hmm." The Lazy God sits down. Clearly debating the pros and cons of never having to check his System again. His spell has gone, gravity's returned to normal and I'm no longer shitting my knickers.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

I've got him here. Abi The Invincible isn't going to die today. Just a little bit more.

One final push.

"That way you can go do whatever you want without having to worry about any of the tedious problems here. Why don't you go put your feet up, sleep for a millennia and just do nothing like you wanna."

The pressure that had been slowly subsiding slams back down on me once again like a tidal wave. Pinned in my seat, I can only watch as the Lazy God's face contorts in outrage.

"That's just another way of calling me lazy!"

"Well... I wasn't actually going to say it."

Also it's a bit hypocritical when he actually wants nothing to do with The System. If he did, why abandon it in the first place?

"I am everything here, and you dare to disrespect me like that again?! My Divine Presence will show you the meaning of the word pain!" Oddly enough, I only actually heard two words in that sentence. Similar to how he heard what he wanted, so do I and the fear that was squeezing me is slowly released.

Divine Presence? Is that like my own Divinity's Presence perhaps?

As he raises a hand toward me, I too do the same. It causes him to fluster slightly, but he doesn't stop. At the moment a white light is fired from his hand, a black one shoots from the palm of my own.

Going to be honest, I've got no fucking idea what's going on right now. I'm just winging it and trying not to die.

The two forces of energy clash against each other and the Lazy God cackles like an evil magician who's just discovered a new life-draining spell. Who would have known that Gods were so screwed up? This guy would definitely be on The Syndicate's list if he was on Tironia.

The Lazy God's laugh soon fades away as his power starts to diminish and my beam begins to envelop his own. His face pales as my presence overwhelms his and my darkness eventually engulfs his body.

Huh? That was actually quite easy. What is it with everything being supet easy recently? Then again, my Divinity's Presence is Maxed and I'm certainly not complaining. If anything, it was his own fault for being a gigantic dickhead.

Before I can think any further, the Aura surrounding the lazy god explodes. The white floor was already scorched black, but as he bursts out of it the whole place looks like a mess. Emerging from the he's panting and looks even angrier than he did before.

"Hey! I didn't start this fight. In fact, I didn't even know that it was a fight until that beam-thingy shot out of my hand. So stop. Now!" I yell at him.

He screams at me ferociously. A telltale sign that he is indeed not going to stop and is in fact intent on taking it up a level. Which isn't fair in my opinion. I'm already severely outclassed here after all. He is a literal God and I am... me.

Another feeling begins welling up inside me. One of confidence. At first I'm slightly confused about where it's coming from as I'm pretty sure I'm not the one emitting it. I then remember that I'm connected to my family through the bond we share through the dungeon. The one thing that lets me know who's returned and when. My will.

This time though, instead of a warm 'we're home', it's a fervent 'fight!', and it's not just coming from one or two, but from everyone. Everyone connected to me through our bond is urging me to do my best and not die. One in particular is just screaming 'Master!' but he can wait until I'm back to talk about the etiquette of communication during battle.

Bloody loudmouth.

That said, another voice is offering something different, something new and something I'm hoping can help us get out of this terrifying situation. Latching on to the cord of Light's will, I summon my Assassin straight into the realm of the gods. That instantly put lazy on the back foot as he wasn't expecting anyone else to show up unannounced in his domain.

"How did you do that!? My Divine Presence is Level 4 and my Domain is Level 3. Who's helping you?" He screams at me while frothing at the mouth. It's not a nice sight, especially not on a God.

"Light." On my command the level 100 Assassin moves faster than any person has the right to do so and closes the gap between himself and the God in the blink of an eye. Light's hand is covered in darkness, as black as the beam that fired from my own hand moments ago, and he thrusts it directly into the Lazy God's chest.

Unable to comprehend what has just happened, the God coughs up yellow blood and looks down at the wound. Inflicted before he could even react. "H-How..." is the only word he says as Light removes his hand from his chest. In it is the God's heart. That was the last thing the Lazy God saw before his eyes turned cloudy and he hit the floor, painting it yellow.

Why's his blood yellow? Is it because he's a God? Some reptiles have green blood and certain monsters bleed blue. I suppose it doesn't really matter now.

"Light! That was amazing. When did you get that skill?"

"Just after killing the dragon... I-I mean... After 'accidentally' killing the Dragon."

Saying it like that doesn't help your case, buddy. I'm your master, remember? I sigh. "Never mind. All's well that ends well, especially since my life didn't end today. Abi The Unkillable gets to live another day."

As I'm celebrating, the white room starts to vibrate before it shatters. A never ending darkness is revealed to be behind and yet, it doesn't scare me. Like the void in my overview, the space welcomes me. Closing my eyes, I let the darkness envelop both myself and Light. Wrapping around and caressing us, I close my eyes and picture the location I want to be. When they open again, I find myself back in the tower above the Academy of Dark Arts.

Light is standing next to me smiling jovially. He must be proud as punch after taking down not only a dragon, but a God in the same day. Also the faint glow of evolution that was missing upon reaching level 100 is now clung to his body as it has done so many times before. Only this time, it's yellow instead of the familiar blue.

First things first though... "Don't tell anyone about what happened today. Got it?"... I've got to lay down the law. I don't need a big song and dance about what happened up there in the far reaches of wherever and the last thing I want is Noir pestering me for a shot at taking on a God.

Although, he probably already knows because of the whole connection thing. Bugger.

If anything we were lucky that it was the lazy System's creator that came after us. I can't imagine how differently it would have gone if any other Gods had decided to intervene. It's also a good job that The System can continue functioning without him. Hopefully, there won't be anyone up there that will miss him and nothing else will come out of this.

That will smooth things over nicely.

Super Important Message:

You have defeated the physical embodiment of the Lazy God and have acquired his domain as a result

A new skill has been obtained:

Divinities' Domain Level 3

Congratulations, Abi

Or should I say, Master

"Gods damn it, System!"

Oops.

Better refrain from damning any one for the foreseeable future. Lest any of the gods try to drag me away again.

I'm a good Dungeon Core. I swear.

Wait a minute. Was he actually called The Lazy God? Or did you just name him that because it's what I was calling him?

Really?

Still no response?

You would think after calling me Master she might reply now, but that's still a fat no.

You don't know how hard I'm refraining from cursing at you at the minute.

"Light, well done. Go relax because I'm going to sleep. Everything else can wait until tomorrow."

"Yes, Master." Light drops into the shadows below and my head hits the pillow the second he's gone. Gods-damn Dungeon Core problems. Where have my easy days gone?