Well... I suppose it was inevitable.

I'd already noticed the Goblins becoming better looking and it was only a matter of time before what happened actually came to pass. However, it isn't what I was expecting when You said we were having Goblin problems.

Still, it isn't anything Sis can't handle. Not that she wanted to be left in charge of that many Goblins, and when I told her, she almost passed out again, but a good System should be able to manage anything, right? They are her creations after all.

I know I summoned the Goblins, but since Sis created me, so technically, this is all on her. For now, I can happily forget about the whole "Goddess of Beauty" thing and leave it all to my creator. It's her fault I'm in this mess after all. If I had gone through the cycle of reincarnation like everyone else, I wouldn't have known about all the extra complexities life entails.

Not that I can leave it all to Sis. She gets flustered too easily that one. Because of that, a very unhappy You was chosen as her second in command. It's a good job that scowls, pouts and begging on one's knees isn't enough to change the mind of this Dungeon Core. Nope. I

t's a good job she didn't turn on the waterworks though. I've already got enough on my plate as it is.

If it was only the four Goblins to deal with, I could probably handle that quick enough and get back to work. The problem is that it isn't just those four Goblins. There's a thousand more of them living on the floor above The Sanctuary looking better than any Goblin has the right to look. They are the ones I summoned myself before unlocking the Goblinator.

I should have known this was going to happen. When they started to grow hair and changing skin colour, that should have been enough to kick my ass into action. Instead, I chucked them to the bottom of the dungeon and forgot about them. But that's what happens when you keep sweeping problems under the rug. They turn into humans and come back to bite you in the metaphorical dungeon bum.

Poor You. It's her fault that this happening, but she has been placed in charge of dungeon management. I would feel bad if I took her position away. Which means it's upto her to take care of any problems that arise inside my dungeon. It's definitely not because I'm trying to avoid dealing with the Goblins myself.

Like I said, I've already got a full plate and numerous side dishes to contend with. I certainly don't need a helping of Goblins for dessert.

Fuck. That.

My patience is already stretched thin as it is. The last thing I need is barbequed elf because I've took on more than I could chew.

Aside from You, I don't feel sorry Sis one bit. That bitch has had this coming from day one and nothing makes me happier than seeing her struggling with Goblins.

"Don't you think that was a little harsh, Mom?" Rebecca doesn't look impressed as I watch Sis' tribulations with a massive smile plastered across my face. Goblins are ridiculous monsters. Even though they're summoned by myself, miss Dungeon Core Supreme, they don't seem to want to follow my orders like the others.

That doesn't mean they don't do as they're told but, without breaking the rules, they try everything they can to be what their species dictates they are. Goblins! Hence the quarrel on the upper floor. There was no blood shed, not until I turned up at least, but they were still trying to get their hands on a female human.

I don't want to think about what would happen if they had succeeded, but whatever it would have been can never come to fruition. Ever. If it did...

"Maybe I should just turn all the Goblins to paste and replace them with trolls." Watching Sis wiggle a finger in the face of one of her uncooperative charges, I open my eyes and return to the peaceful sight of my city.

"Unless you start dealing with your problems properly, they'll just keep cropping up here and there." Ever the spoilsport, Me is still at my tower and still on my case as he graciously informs me that shit won't better unless I play a hand in dealing with it.

The only hand I personally want to offer is the backhand, but that's also not the way to go. Not unless I'm riled up, that is. Then it solves most problems.

"Why are you still here? Don't you have some populating to go and do?" Trying to get rid of my nagger, I remind him that he has a job to do.

"I don't want to do that anymore, Abi. It's boring. It doesn't take long to check on the Monsternators since they're self sufficient, but it's the worst part of my day. Porting round the forest sucks!" Wow. When did Me turn into a whining teenager?

It actually makes me chuckle listening to him complain like that. It's even funnier that he threw in a word that's not a word. More so since I'm usually the one making up stupid shit and he's forever correcting me. I quite liked it though so I won't mention it. I'm definitely stealing that one though.

"What do you suggest then, Me? There's only a few of us able to use DP and I'm not down for letting Kolena in on the action yet. I don't trust her yet. She's definitely going to try something to get her title back though. I guarantee it."

"Why are the gods your first port of call? You have been summoning capable people since the day you were created. Hell, it's safe to say that some are even more capable than the Core herself," he digs.

"Hey! Do you want to be let off your duty or not?"

"My most sincere apologies your Royal Questionableness." No need to be a kiss-ass either though, even though it does rub me the right way.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Hold on. Did you just say that my summons can use DP? Since when was that a thing? I thought no one but me, you, You, and Sis, could use my points. If not, where did I get that idea from?" I'm a few years in as a Dungeon Core now. I should really be on top of my game with knowledge that relates to me.

Instead, I feel like a baby.

Still taking my first steps even though I own a quarter of the fucking region. I pull in some big-girl points every day, but still get stumped over trivial shit like this.

"Since they evolved and became Bosses," he flicks a bogey from my tower and I can't help but scowl. Not because of Me's poor manners, but because I still don't know shit. Becca looks appalled at his disgusting mannerism, however, she doesn't say anything.

There's a problem here. Like... A massive problem. It's so big, that I'm already debating running away to my domain for a couple of days. There's still a lot to learn. Although, it isn't what I don't know that's causing me grief, it's who I need to learn it from.

Sis and Me, who would have made a much better Tweedledum and Tweedledee than the Assassins themselves, are my only sources of knowledge when it comes to anything dungeon-related. Me was created to aid and guide the Core on its path to whatever-the-hell-it-is-that-other-Cores-do. And Sis? She's the gods-damn System itself. She creates Cores and knows everything!

Or so she'd have you believe.

In reality, she's full of shit.

Granted, she did a good job in the Dragon Daycare, but let's be honest. How hard is it to take care of a bunch of Dragons that inspire peace and happiness wherever they go? She's got the easiest job in the city... Or on the mountain, since the Daycare was placed out of the way.

But even that decision was made more because of Sis than the Dragons.

She hadn't been here that long when I decided to put her to work and ship her off up the mountain with Becca. To be fair, Sis did have to deal with the Rebellion Dragon drumming away 24/7. Now that Becca's evolved into the world's best daughter, Sis must be living on easy street, up there out of the way on her relatively modest tower.

It must be super peaceful and chill up there all the time...

This bitch! How dare she? How very dare she!? She getting to do exactly what I want to do everyday and it was me that set it all up for her. She's even got her own fucking tower to watch everything from.

Oh, she's gonna get another piece of my mind when I see her.

"She can also hear your thoughts like I can. She told me when we were at Talia's. It's probably why she's... Nevermind." I'm trying my best to stay calm, but there's always something else. Since when was he best friends and drinking buddies with Sis? And I knew it! I knew she could hear me.

"When did that even happen? I thought you didn't like drinking? Every time I bring it up, you say you're still not over the Jacks." Yeah, I know. I could have said a million different things instead, but that's where I went.

Damn right it is. I'm jelly as fuck right now. I thought Me was supposed to be my friend?

"Well... Sis isn't as... She wouldn't... When we..." he sighs as I bounce in anticipation, waiting for him to finish a fucking sentence. My mood is not easing off at all and I really do need to disappear for a while. However, I'm not going anywhere without hearing what he has to say first.

Me looks everywhere but in my direction and I wait patiently. Or as patiently as an irate Dungeon Core can. Becca looks anxious as my foot as taps away and I fold my arms in annoyance since he seems to have forgotten how to form words.

"C'mon, Me. I'm not that bad, am I?" He looks upset that I want to see where this ends, but I'm vexed. The last, and first time, we drank, Me managed to throw up more than he'd drank and I passed out after a giggle fit. But that's just a typical friday night in the mortal realm. Plus, it's not like I'm asking him to match me drink for drink.

"I don't want to tell you about it because I know you won't be happy." His words are a like an empty jug in the desert, useless. They make no sense because I'm already unhappy that he doesn't want to drink with me. More so since I'm the one who told him how cool all this shit would be once he got a body.

Now... It's like he's dissing me because I'm not one of the cool crowd. I'm a rule breaker. A System crasher. A menace to the status quo of society who does what she wants when she feels like it. Ostracised by my own temperament and mind set.

I wanna say who cares, but I do.

Sensing that I'm not letting this go, Me sighs in defeat and gives me a brief recap of our first and only night out.

"After passing out I thought the night was over, but you woke up shortly after. Then, you near-enough dragged me to the Pleasure Palace where I had to endure the weirdest experience of my short-lived life. I wished to never revisit that moment. Afterwards, you took me to Veris' room and she... She..." He doesn't finish his sentence, but the look on his face says it all.

I have no words whatsoever, which is a first for me. A complete melt down on anything and everything logical has occurred and I'm struggling to process what I heard. In fact, I want to disappear right now, but I'm even at at loss for that.

"I went... To the Pleasure Palace..." The whisper escapes my lips and Me nods in response. I see Becca's lips twitching before she turns away from us and I can't help but notice that Me doesn't seem to find our current topic as funny as the one from earlier.

Which is funny because that's the only thing I seem to be able to comprehend.

"Good. Great," I lie. "In fact, I think I remember now. It was a smashing night." Putting on my confidence face, I act like I don't give two shits where we went or what we did and the look on Me's face is priceless. He's mortified. It's almost like he's been keeping a secret that everyone knew. More probable is that it has something to do with what went down in Veris' room.

Truth be told, I want to curl up in a ball and fucking die. What was I doing at Veris'? Getting a paddling? I fucking hope not. More so, why the hell has no one else thought to mention this?

"That's why I was drinking with Sis. She doesn't make me do weird shit like you do."

"Well... That's not not true, but you don't have to say it like that. However, her creating you to be a Core-teaching mini-system in the first place is pretty fucking weird if you ask me. Just saying..." Neither of us say anything more and Becca manages to calm herself down a little. After a minute of silence, I pull my finger out and put on my big-girl pants.

"I'm sorry, Me. Now, I'm going to chill out for a while because I'm seriously rattled after that. See ya." With that, I boot up my Domain and a brief "Abi," is all I catch before I'm sat in the comfiest chair in existence.

I love this place.

"This is, without a doubt, thee best perk of Godhood. Is that what they'd call it? Godhood. Deityisation? That sounds pretty stupid now that I've said it. Hmm..." I turn the fire up and kick back in my cosy, little cabin. A picture of Me and You hangs on the wall beside the bookcase and I can't help but wonder when that appeared there.

"I know," I say to the Me in photo. "Even I thought that last one was pretty stupid. At least you're not here to ride the cart on that one." I laugh until the Mini Me rolls his eyes and I almost fall out of my chair in shock. After checking it a dozen times, however, it appears that it's just my imagination running wild.

The Pleasure Palace, Abi? Really? Really!? That's what happens when you can't handle your booze.

"I'm so stupid. That's certainly not how a God Core is supposed to act. Oh! God Core, I like that one. Much better than Godhood and we've already forgotten about Deityisation." Rehanging the photo next to the bookcase, I kick back in my chair and smile. Trying my best not to imagine myself in compromising scenarios with Veris.

"Abi the God Core has a nice ring to it, even if I do say so myself."