Let's be honest. Even though Me and Sis were screaming at me through our link, I wasn't the best thrilled either.

Instead of gaining the ability to view statuses that are currently outside of my capabilities, I'm getting a second bloody assistant. At this point, Assistant A has no guidance left to offer as we're way beyond the need for a new starter's guide.

I can only sigh as a new voice pops into existence inside my mind.

Hello... Dungeon Core Abi. I am your Voice-Activated User Notification and Help System. I see that your dungeon already has... 69 floors. Go you.

Go me? Never mind the fact that Assistant B sounds like a cool-ass chick, I like her already.

Damn right, go me. I'm killing this dungeon game.

However, out of your... 499 rooms and 912 tunnels, I see 1657 alterations that could be made.

Gods Damn it Hay Bale!

Through our connection, I hear Assistant A laughing his ass off.

That isn't funny in the slightest, so I don't know what you're laughing for, I tell him before arriving next to him.

"What?" Our roles reversed, I'm now the smug one as Me looks panicked at my arrival.

"Why do you look so worried, Me?" I ask as an identical version of myself appears next to us.

"What's that for?" He asks in trepidation.

"Oh, this? This is for You," I smile as I rip Assistant B from my soul before stuffing it in the empty clone.

"I don't want that. Take it back."

"Yeah, no. I already told you, Me. This is for You. And You is now your problem."

As understanding flashes behind his eyes, the stand-alone version of myself opens her eyes.

"Dungeon Core Abi, what... What have you done to me?"

"Don't worry about it, You. Me here, will explain everything," I smile at You, Assistant B, who is going to be left in the capable hands of Me.

"I most certainly will not. Why do I have to look after her?"

"Honestly? It will be easier coming from you. With you both being subsystems and all."

"Don't talk like you know everything now, Abi. And just so you know that excuse is bullshit at best," I can't deny it "but I will take her under my wing and teach her how you... Operate."

"You don't need to sound so sinister when you say it. Plus, I do some good work and you damn well know it."

"Quite. Anyway, You," Assistant B turns to Assistant A and bows.

"Yes, first assistant, Me."

I can't hide my smile as Me throws an irritated glance my way before I decide it's time to leave. Retiring for the night and forgetting my problems is the easiest way to get to sleep which is exactly what I do. I ignore the fact that Bear has returned to his larger size and is taking up 90% of Violet's futon. Closing my eyes like I'm the only person in the world, I drift off to sleep.

Thankfully no Gods, Systems or other types of soul-jacking entities visit me at night and my sleep is good. So good in fact, that I wake up later than usual and the triplets are already gone.

Stretching out, I let out a content yawn before wiping my eyes. Feeling good, I arrange my cuddlies and port to the girls. It's breakfast time. At Ali's, Violet, Amber, Blondie and Kolena are seated next to Me and You.

That's what I get for ignoring problems and sleeping through them.

"Me, You," I greet them as I sit down. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit."

"Well, since you eloquently dumped You on me and ran away, I have been listening to her dungeon suggestions. I thought she would be the same as me, but I couldn't have been more wrong. She thinks completely differently than I do, although you may play some part in that somewhere. It's hard to tell with you."

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"You?" I ask him with a smile as my breakfast arrives.

"Don't start that. We could be here all day."

"Don't be silly. There isn't a 'We' yet." No laughs? Tough crowd.

"Quite. Anyway, You has some good ideas that I think will help not only the dungeon grow, but the humans as well. She has quite a few of them though so this may take some time."

This is the last thing I want to listen to over breakfast. Especially when the boring-as-hell meeting takes place right after it, I can already see this turning out to be a long day.

"Does she really need me to listen to it all though? If you've heard her ideas and think they're worth implementing, surely I don't need to hear them too." I'm certain he's just trying to get me to sit through a lecture because I dumped You on him. Fortunately, subsystem B, a.k.a You, is the same as Me below her human exterior. Able to utilise more dungeon functions than the average member, she will actually be a pretty helpful addition to my family.

"You," I address her directly.

"Yes, Dungeon Core Abi?" I used to hate the name she replied with. I remember when Me called me that in the beginning. Even now the memory sends shivers up my spine.

"First of all, just Abi will do. You don't need to keep pronouncing the Dungeon Core part. Just address as Me does. Also, would a budget of five thousand points per day be enough to make the changes Me spoke of?"

"It would be more than enough. Most alterations don't even require the use of your DP. I can save or use what's left over each day to add more floors and monsters to meet your specifications of helping Tironians advance."

"That... does sound pretty good actually. In that case, You, I am officially placing you in charge of dungeon alterations. Please try not to kill too many humans. They will take much longer to advance if they have to go through the reincarnation cycle again." Not that I know how long they are going to take. It's roughly been a year and a half since I acquired Soul Guide and we haven't passed the second stage of positive souls yet. Even then, the people whose souls shine blue barely number a hundred. Greens - the first step and colour on the path to ascension, number in the thousands. More crop up every day in Varona showing that even though I'm bumbling, I'm getting shit done.

It's an achievement I'm extremely proud of as I barely know how it happened myself. It's been a long time since I personally went through the cycle and was reincarnated myself, but it seems to have flown by so quickly.

"Yes, Abi. I will try my best to level these people up so that they can grow and ascend." Hopefully, this will be another one of those jobs that has the perfect person delegated to it. Nobody knows dungeons better than the help feature. I might have had some tricky moves up my sleeves that stupefied Me, but I've long since run out of those.

Seriously. The only things up my sleeves right now are exhaustion and frustration. What I should do is dedicate a day where nobody does a damn thing. Well, maybe not nothing, but a day they can do whatever they want. No work or chores, unless you're that way inclined that is. No tedious dungeon tasks. Just a single day where I can... where we get to do fuck all.

Lazing around all day in the sun on top of my tower... Ok, that one's me, but screw it. I need a break. It's been all-go recently and these days you can never tell when something unexpected is just going to shove its head into your domain. Or vice versa.

One day isn't too much to ask for. It would even help my points build up. Fair enough that means nothing in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter when I spend them really and it's just another way of trying to talk myself into a day off.

I do deserve it though. I'm sure I do. There was the King and the demons. The elves and Marie the wannabe Assassin grandma. The triplets and Kolena. The elves again. Then finally there was You and the bloody Hay Bale.

Ok, it's the Bale of Fortune now, but that damn piece of hay is so bloody temperamental it's beyond a joke. Even when it's sort of helpful. Maybe I should upgrade it again?

Not that I currently have enough to upgrade the stupid feature, but even if I did, what am I thinking? Asking for wishes is one thing, but it won't be long before the Bale of fortune will cost over one-hundred thousand points to upgrade. A truly ridiculous figure for a cursed piece of dry plant plant matter that may not change in any way.

As it stands, the unpredictable feature will cost me just over five thousand points if I want to try my luck. That said, if it fails the next attempt will cost over ten thousand. Then twenty, forty, eighty before finally one hundred and sixty thousand fucking dungeon points. I daren't think about anything after that because it's already crazy as hell. Especially when you consider the fact that Talia's Tavern, One For The Rogues', only cost me three hundred and twenty DP total.

In fairness though the Bale of Fortune has been subject to a lot more points than any of my other features have. What was a dumping ground for excess DP in my constant need to upgrade the feature has backfired in a sense as it now costs a small fortune to even attempt.

"Are you seriously going to leave You in charge of the dungeon? I know that I said she had some good ideas, but I didn't expect you to palm the whole thing off on to her. There's only so much you can delegate, Abi." Me interrupts my gloomy thoughts and for once I'm actually quite relieved.

"Yeah, why not? I think you misunderstand what delegation means, Me. I'm pretty sure it means putting individuals that are better suited to certain tasks than myself into those positions."

We argue the semantics of delegation over the course of breakfast. The triplets and Kolena leave to begin their day's work and I feel slightly bad. I barely spoke to them this morning as I too caught up with You and Me.

Not that I changed my mind. You is now in charge of dungeon management and has a small budget of five thousand DP a day. Me wasn't impressed, but I told him I'd keep an eye on her. I also told him he had to do the same. More so than me in fact because she was his responsibility.

He was her senior after all. It was sort of his job to take care of, guide and nurture his junior colleague. Especially since the whole premise of my dungeon was bat-shit crazy. I mean, I own four cities for Core's sake. I can literally hide my Dungeon Core in someone's attic if needs be. Not that I expect I'll need to be, but the point still stands. That's how weird it is. I take strolls in the countryside while purchasing the land around me and have inter-dimensional meetings with Gods. None of which are planned, expected or appreciated by the way.

There's all that more.

"She definitely needs a more capable senior to fill her in," I chuckle as Me turns red and I port off to my meeting. The pun is likely to be the only source of entertainment I have this morning.