Experiments on myself N°6

Day 1

Instead of using a piece of meat like before, this time I cut several thin strips of meat as if they were bacon and at the last moment I had the brilliant idea of using the red rocks that Danamus eats to cook the meat, since I have no use for them, at least they serve as a grill. The meat was thin, so it didn't need much cooking time. A few minutes of rest, a few drops of dragon's blood, and a delicious dish was ready.

"Om! The mind has power over the body. The mind has power over the body. If I visualize it, it won't happen. If I visualize it, good energies will come to bring me good results, om!"

I ate the meat with some distrust, of course, maybe I am being paranoid again, I mean, the previous experiment could be seen as if it were a simple purge, but still I felt some fear for the possible results, and as it is said that the mind can dominate the body, I tried to mentalize positive and painless results, though it will surely not work. I also had nothing else to do until the symptoms started and at least I had the feeling that I was doing something and not leaving everything to chance.

But of course, things never turn out as I hope, no matter what I do, when I increase the amount of blood and remove the fruit sauce, I was prepared for more severe or longer lasting symptoms, maybe the discomfort would not last only one day, if not two, maybe they would be more intense with vomiting included. That was within my variables, precisely for those variables I had made more preparations.

Life tends to be very curious, the more you prepare, the more things go awry. All my preparations amounted to nothing, I can't even complain about the bad and bitter taste of the meat. Now that I think about it, I think I should correct that sentence. It’s not that life is curious, it’s my life that always tries to fuck me, or rather, I do it myself. but since it's always easier to blame others for your problems and I have no one to blame, then I blame life.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

“Gaaarr”

The pain was unimaginable, every part of my body hurt like shit. Not even when the goat broke my ribs did I feel so miserable. It's like having your skin peeled off like a potato, then having alcohol applied all over your body, have millions of pins stuck into you and then set you on fire and while you burn, hundreds of people enjoy your misery. The mixture of all that pain was what I felt. I think I understand a little bit about what witches went through in the modern age.

It was a terrifying moment, the only positive thing was that the pain was not gradual, but instantaneous, as if you were shot at point blank range, you only hear the sound and you are already bleeding or dying. In any case, that helped me to faint before experiencing the horrible event completely. The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was Danamus flying in my direction, I guess my scream scared him and I don't blame him, even my own scream scared me.

I don't know what went wrong or what was the variable that altered everything, maybe the amount of blood or the goat from which I took the meat was not in the mood to be eaten, maybe the rocks added some substance that caused everything, maybe the wind was blowing too hard and this caused the meat to not cook properly, which in turn caused a magical bacteria to survive, maybe the day was not the right one to prepare goat bacon, maybe the fucking sky changed or the fucking moon is in crescent season, what do I know.

Any assumption in this fucking magical world where everything is unknown could be correct. I know I made a couple of changes in the process, but they were not significant enough for the result to be so different from the previous one, though maybe the mixture of all those little events together was what caused my current situation, but it's still absurd. I mean, if I shit like a duck first, if I repeat the experiment I'll expect the same result. In any case, I don't know what happened, but I can't regret it anymore.

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Just like when I was meditating, I lost track of time, but if I compare them, there was a slight difference. When I came out of my meditative state, I could allow myself to feel disgusted at not knowing how much time had elapsed. This time, however, whenever I regained consciousness, an overwhelming amount of pain invaded my senses, making me wish I had never woken up.

The first time I opened my eyes, I was shaking as if I were in a naked wasteland, my body drenched in sweat and other filth. It was like being born again, where you couldn't control the call of nature and you were shitting yourself, only with a lot of pain and more disgusting. I also had a bitter taste in my mouth, so I suppose I had been throwing up. Luckily I was lying on my side which prevented me from choking on my own vomit, something that is safe to say I owe to Danamus, there are several times I would have died had it not been for his assistance.

The second time I opened my eyes, I wasn't in the same place anymore. I was next to a campfire, lying naked on new leaves free of my bodily waste. You don't have to be a fortune teller to know who did it, I mean, there are only two beings inhabiting the interior of the ruins, so obviously it wasn't a goat that moved me. I appreciate my companion's care, but I'm worried that by cleaning up my waste, he might have contaminated the water from the well.

Maybe I'm being a little ungrateful, but if the water source goes bad, then I'll be fucked. Though if I think better of it, it's unlikely that will happen. I mean, Danamus knows how much I care for the water. Besides, the place he moved me to is quite far from the river, so for now it's best to leave that worry for later. After all I had more pressing problems to solve.

I thought that with time and the continuous torture, my pain tolerance would increase, then I could get used to it and regain some lucidity, but I was totally wrong, though I guess thinking that was my mistake. I mean, the law of signs is pretty clear: pain(-) plus pain(-) equals more(+) pain, though in part, I'm grateful for it, since due to the inability to endure the pain, I only had to endure a few seconds before fainting again.

I lost count of how many times I woke up. I mean, sometimes I managed to open my eyes just enough to take in my surroundings, and other times, I didn't even realize I was awake before passing out again. Of course, it's not like I had enough mental strength to keep score, either. If anything, one thing is for sure, Danamus has been taking care of me the whole time, which is quite reassuring. I wouldn't want to die from a cold. Well, in general I wouldn't want to die if possible.

This time when I came to my senses the pain was no longer so intense, it feels like ants were eating me alive, but compared to the previous pain it is more manageable, Though I can't hear or move a muscle, I can't even open my eyes, it's like being in a totally dark chamber of silence, it's quite boring and the pain is irritating, so I can't concentrate on my thoughts either. That leaves me with the only option of sleeping to make the time pass faster, like when you are hungry and have no money.

After that, I woke up several times and the pain kept decreasing each time until I woke up and felt nothing, literally nothing, not even my own body. A little scared, I tried to open my eyes again, but it was impossible; my eyelids wouldn't obey me, I tried to move or speak, but it was the same result. I tried to stay calm, I mean, it's very likely that my poor body has suffered so much that now I'm in a state of complete vegetation.

Well, there's also the possibility that I've died or is in a dream, but I think I'm alive and awake because I vaguely hear the commotion of animals in the distance, that makes me assume it's nighttime. I also think I hear wood burning, so I'm near a campfire, but I don't hear Danamus, though maybe he's hunting or doing whatever it is a dragon does when it's night and he's alone.

'Holy donkey, I hope this paralysis isn't permanent or my life won't be easy at all'

Now I just have to wait until I regain all my abilities to know if all this pain was in vain or it was the pain before the reward. At least now there is no pain and that allows me to keep my mind calm. Which in turn helps me to organize my thoughts and try to figure out what was the variable that ruined everything.