An old lady entered a toy store hoping to find a gift for her sonAn old lady entered a toy store hoping to find a gift for her son, as today was his birthday. However, the young boy, who was walking angrily behind her, didn't seem interested in any of the toys she showed him.
"Do you like this, Sweetie?"
"I don't like it"
It was clear that the child was not happy with this walk. However, despite the grumpy reply, the old lady was not angry at all. In fact, she was enjoying seeing her son's puffy cheeks.
“Mom can we go back now? I don't want presents”
"Don’t throw a tantrum, come on, let's go to another store"
The two left the store in search of a new one. The child's eagerness to return was because of the cake, but the mother knew that after the cake was finished, her son would ask for his present, and she was worried about not being able to buy it later. Her health was deteriorating; it was a huge effort for the elderly woman to make this search, something her son was unaware of.
"Huh?"
The child, who was holding his mother's hand, suddenly stopped.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Mommy, who is that man?"
The man the child was pointing to was someone the elderly woman didn't recognize. But in the child's mind, that man was somehow familiar.
"I don't know, I don't know him. Why do you ask?"
"He pulled me by the arm"
“He’s probably just someone strange; don’t worry about him, sweetie. Tell me, have you decided what you want? If you choose your present, we can go back to eat cake. It's up to you"
At his mother’s words, the child forgot the sense of familiarity he felt with the strange man and ran into the first store he saw, while the elderly woman followed him with a loving smile on her face. If the child had acted this way earlier, they would have been home by now. In the end, the child chose the first thing he liked, and they started their way back home, which fortunately was short.
"Mommy, that man from before is following us"
"Huh?"
The child, who was happily walking with the idea of returning home, looked back and saw the same man who had pulled him by the arm, following them from a safe distance.
"It's just your superstitions. Besides, he's not the same person; In fact, they don't even look alike. The other man was tall and thin, and this one is chubby"
Despite the mother’s words, to the child’s eyes, they were the same person. Besides, the man kept beckoning for him to come closer. His mother had always warned him about strangers, but to him, this man felt familiar, as if he had been with him all his life. So despite the man's constant beckoning, he was not nervous or worried; in fact, something inside him told him to do it.
"What are you doing standing there? Didn’t you want to eat cake? Hurry up!"
As he looked at the gentleman, who had stopped chasing them and was now calling him hurriedly from a distance, the infant was hesitant. It was a feeling he had never experienced before and one that a child his age shouldn’t have to feel. Disobeying his mother had never crossed the child’s mind, but the strange familiarity with the man and the concern on his face made him feel that if he followed his mother, he would regret it.
"What are you doing? Hurry up, or I'll eat your slice of cake!"
"No, Mom! You promised me a big slice!"
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"Not again! What’s wrong now?"
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The duo continued on their way, chatting casually, until the child suddenly stopped when he saw a stone arch, and the image of the man calling him desperately came to his mind.
"Mom, do you see that?"
"There’s nothing there. Hurry up; I need to rest, my feet are hurting"
He was supposed to obey his mother as he always did, but something deep in his mind told him he shouldn’t go through that arch. The child was confused.
"Mother—"
"Enough, Mae! If this is one of your jokes or tantrums, you’d better stop. Weren’t you the one who was eager to have cake?"
The child was in conflict. He wanted to move forward, he wanted to have cake, he wanted to go with his mother, but his body refused to cross the arch. It was as if someone were holding him back from taking another step. His small body began to tremble, and the beads of sweat on his brown skin were evident.
"What’s the matter, sweetie? Don’t you want to come with Mom? If you come with me, you can have as much cake as you want. Our home is waiting for us. Take my hand, and I promise I won’t let go"
Seeing his mother’s gentle smile, the child wanted, needed, and wished to go and give her a hug. But in that brief moment, several images flashed through his mind, images he did not recognize, and he uttered words whose meaning he did not understand.
"I... I already have a home, Mom"
Hearing the words that might mean nothing if another child her age uttered them, the woman's eyes filled with tears.
"Come with Mom, my little one"
Why had he said something that made his mother cry?
He didn’t understand what was happening; those tears were his fault, and he shouldn’t have done it. He wanted to apologize to her, he wanted to get closer to her and yet his body did not respond to his command.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Mom, but I already have a new home"
'What am I saying? I don’t have another home; she is my home' The images running through his mind made his mother’s figure seem farther and farther away. Many questions swirled in his mind and a deep feeling of pain took root in his chest. Many questions swirled in his mind and a deep feeling of pain took root in his chest. He wanted to go to her side, but why couldn't he? Why didn't her body respond? Tears rolled down his chubby cheeks as he exchanged glances with the woman who continued to look at him with warmth and love.
"Mom, I—"
The child wanted to say something, but his crying prevented him. He was a child; he didn’t understand what was happening or what those images in his mind meant. He didn’t understand why he had said those words to his mother. He only wanted this to stop, for his mother to stop crying. He wanted to go home and eat cake with her. If this was happening because of his tantrums, he promised not to throw any more, but he didn’t want to feel what he was feeling, because for some reason he thought that the woman who was in front of him was not his mother.
The child was panicking, it was clearly his mother, but why was he thinking like this? He wanted this to stop. But desperation was slowly taking hold of him, and the strange images in his mind that once seemed vivid were now slowly fading away, causing him more pain and confusion. It was at that moment that he was enveloped in a warm embrace, which calmed him instantly.
Seeing her son's state, the mother approached him and gave him the hug he so desperately needed.
“It’s okay, my child, it’s okay, Mom is here with you.”
"I want to go with you mommy, but now I have a new home and it will be sad if I don't come back. I... I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry"
It was as if the child, who was reluctant to end the embrace, feared that if he did, he would never see his mother again. In the end, it took several minutes for the child to calm down. Only then did mother and child separate from the embrace.
"My dear boy, look at how much you’ve grown"
Upon hearing his mother’s words, the child realized that he was no longer a child; he was now an adult, and although he couldn’t see his own face, he was sure it looked just like the man who had been chasing him a moment ago. It was then that the images in his mind, which he had previously not understood, now made sense, and tears began to flow again.
“You made a good choice; I’m proud of you”
The woman’s words did not calm the man, as the city and everything around them began to crumble like a sandcastle being swept away by the waves.
"I'm sorry mother, I'm sorry"
“As long as you want it, I will always be with you”
The mother embraced her son tightly as her last action before the waves swept them away along with the entire place.
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*thund*
I fell to the ground as if I were a puppet whose strings were cut. My already battered body hit against some roots, but I refused to make a sound. It's nighttime and it was right in front of the city’s entrance. It’s easy to say that if I had crossed that gate, my fate would have been to become rat food. However, right now I couldn’t focus on the fact that I had once again come close to death.
I feel sad and renewed. I don't know if it was real, a dream, or just a product of my subconscious, but it doesn't matter. At least I was able to say goodbye to my mother.
On the day of her death, I had gone out to buy souvenirs, and when I came back, I found her dead. For the people around me, feeling guilty for not being there at the moment of her death made no sense, and some even thought it was stupid, that I shouldn’t feel that way since I had been with her all the time. But for me, as a teenager, it was something I couldn’t forgive myself for, something I still hadn’t been able to forgive myself for to this day.
I need to know what happened to my brain, I need to find out if I managed to reconstruct the tattoo, I need a shower because my face feels all sticky; but for now, for tonight, I feel like I can't do anything. Right now I'm like a lifeless shell and if a wild animal enters the city, I wouldn't mind being its food.