I think the solution is clear: I need to create more of these conductive threads. I can't continue relying on just one and risk it breaking. That said, the problem is, how do I create them?
It may be that this single hair was created when my body was rebuilt or that it was created after I reached the meditative state for the first time; but whatever the case, I have to start experimenting to solve the problem. Certainly the fear of losing all the progress I have made so far still persists, but I don't like to let problems be solved by something as unpredictable as time and luck.
I calmed my mind and focused on what I wanted to do. I know I can still access the mental map without issues, so it's best to start from there. At least from a third-person perspective, I can see what I'm doing. That said, knowing what I want to do and knowing how to do it are two different things. Also, every time I tried to exert a little more pressure, the tattoo would flicker dangerously, making it difficult for me to make progress.
Every time I tried to channel the energy I was absorbing from the environment into a new pathway, it tried to pass through the already established line, exerting dangerous pressure on the already fragile tattoo. But I didn't give up. I was certainly nervous; nevertheless, I tried to keep my mind calm. I was determined to solve this problem.
Looking at the situation, I'm beginning to think it would be a good idea to just break the hair and set up a new one. However, what if I take the risk and then it doesn't work?
While I kept trying to establish a new connection, I am also trying to make a decision, but it is not easy. The uncertainty and fear of losing what little I've achieved so far make me hesitate. It's in these moments in which the help, the experience of someone who knows, who has been through this, is crucial. Unfortunately for me, I can only improvise.
*Crack*
*ugk*
"Shit, Shit"
I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do, but in the midst of doubt, I opened the tattoo valve and applied pressure so that a large amount of energy passed through at once. The result was the disconnection of the mental map, the sound of a bone breaking, severe headache, and blood flowing from my nostrils.
The pain is intense but tolerable; I would compare it to a severe migraine. I must say I was surprised by the sound of something breaking, but I’m alive. If it wasn’t the skull, it’s most likely that the sound was caused by the tattoo breaking, but I’m deaf, so why did I hear it so clearly?
It's already night; in fact I'd say it's past midnight. I've gotten a little used to the night crack and I think I can at least discern that; during the day it’s impossible because there’s nothing in the sky to serve as a guide. In any case, I feel dizzy. The nosebleed has stopped, but the headache persists. Also, maybe it's because I'm used to my body being numb after meditation sessions, but I hadn’t realized that I have no sensitivity in my chest.
I didn't panic because I feel my heart beating, but when I put my hand on my chest, I didn't feel it; it was like the skin was dead.
Although I was anxious to know if I could re-establish a connection with the energy of the environment, considering my current state and how late it is, the best thing to do is to go to sleep; which I could do right here, but I decided to make a little effort and go to my bed. I need the rest that only the vault provides to be able to face tomorrow.
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When I woke up, I felt refreshed, in fact, too refreshed. I didn't stop to think and hurried out of the room. I clearly remembered this feeling. It was the same as what I felt when I dreamt about the revelation that led me to discover the magical tattoo. Maybe it's some hidden power of my subconscious, but as long as it helps me solve my problems, I don't care what it is.
As expected, when I left the castle, I saw myself in the distance, but this time there were two of me in the same place. One was meditating while the other was drawing lines on his body.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Carefully, I approached as close as I could. I wanted to see in detail what I was drawing and where exactly on my body. I stopped when I felt the sensation of walking without moving forward. Although still far away, I could see that one of my selves was carving a honeycomb pattern onto the body of the self that was meditating. I say honeycomb, but on closer inspection, it looks more like a Voronoi diagram.
The needle I was using was connected to the energy of the environment, which confirms my theory that these are tattoos and the ink used to create them is magic; however, it is not the skin that is being tattooed. It is even strange that I can see it, but for some reason, I know it is not on the skin. My tattooed self is tattooing the hand of my seated self with surgical precision while the ambient energy is being consumed at an absurd rate.
I can see how what was once a sea of energy is now a mere stream about to dry up, and yet all i have tattooed is the hand, all the way down to the wrist.
The dream began to fragment, a sign that it was about to end. I wish I could speak with my dream selves, that they could answer my questions, but for now, all I can do is try to memorize as much as I can about the location of the lines. What they are doing is something I had thought of, so to some extent I understand how to do it, but I don't know where the lines should be tattooed.
With the clear aggravation that there are two of them, while I will have to tattoo myself alone.
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*haaaa*
I opened my eyes in the vault. This time, I didn’t rush out like before, as doing so wouldn't make any sense. I mean, I don’t even know if I can restore the connection with the main line, since, by the way, the dream self who was meditating had that line active, so at least that must be a requirement. Although it reassures me that my dream self can do it, because that means I can do it too.
It's like watching a video of my future self achieving it, which gives me the confidence that I’ll be able to do it. Maybe it's unfounded, but it gives me reassurance.
*haaa*
"I give up"
I tried to create a drawing on the floor with what I remember, but I completely forgot that I am terrible at creating illustrations. So, I can only hope that later my reconstructed mind will remember all the details of the diagram.
Now, setting that concern aside, it’s time to return to the main concern, which is reconnecting or creating the conductor line again. I must admit that while I was walking toward my breakfast 'which is a fruit tree' I was contemplating the idea of taking a break. But, I suppose that if I want this to end soon, I must make an effort.
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There's a mix of dried blood due to the wind and fresh blood just coming out of my body on my nose. I knew it would be difficult, but the dream gave me hopes that it might be easier; however, having high expectations is a mistake. My head is spinning, and my body is trembling as if it were jelly. Hours have passed, and I still haven’t achieved my goal. It’s frustrating and I’m exhausted, but I feel that if I give up now, I’ll never be able to achieve it.
It’s almost dusk. I’ve been trying for hours to establish a connection with the energy without any success. At first, it seemed like it would be easy, as from the first attempt I felt there was a block, something preventing me from accessing the mental map. But I still felt that with some effort, I could achieve it. I was wrong, and the blood decorating my face is proof of that.
“Come on Mae, you can do it”
I feel weak, but I don't want to stop until I manage to reestablish connection with the central, or rather, with the head.
I concentrated as much as I could. I was about to do something reckless, but I was running out of options. I remembered the shape of the needle that my tattooing self was using and how it was connected to the environment energy. So what I was trying to do was just that and in that way, forcibly break through the barrier that is blocking me.
Of course, there’s the doubt of what might happen if this needle pierces my brain, but with all the times I’ve meditated, I’m quite familiar with the process of absorbing energy from the environment, and I believe I can control it enough to avoid an accident.
*uuff*
I gathered my willpower, calmed my mind, and magic responded to my call. I can’t increase or decrease the amount of energy at will like before, but I can thin it out enough to resemble the thin needle in my dreams. I had done it before during this session, so it wasn’t difficult. The problem with this is that it becomes so thin that as soon as it crosses the barrier, the thread breaks, making the energy reaching the brain just a spark.
It is because of this that I have suffered so much today.
I pushed my concentration to the limit, and before the energy could enter my body, I thinned it enough, then cut the energy thread and quickly summoned all the energy I could, thus creating a thin needle just like in the dream.
It was an impromptu move, so not everything could go as I expected. The two energies connected and the needle shot out into my brain while dragging the thread. I didn't even have time to react.