My name is Michael Atrex and I am a healer for the soon to be most legendary guild Ripped (AN: I originally wrote BoobTitsGalore....might've laughed...then went Nope.) We will soon be the most legendary guild in the land of Eos and right now is our first quest...Goblin Subjugation.
''Attack from the left'' (Archer)
When the archer said that the two warriors attacked from the.....right.
''KILL!!!'' (Warrior 1)
''DESTROY!!!!!'' (Warrior 2)
Then I look over to the archer and see him face-palming.
''...Fucking retards.'' (Archer)
Then our mage just looked at the two of them dumbfounded.
''How.......how can a human be so stupid...do you know Michael??'' (Mage)
The mage asked me and I replied with.
''Might've been dropped on their heads as babies....or their parents were orcs.....or both.....Both seems very likely'' (Michael)
Right as I said that I hear the archer and the mage trying not to laugh.
-----5 Minutes later-----
''Phew finally finished'' (Warrior 1)
''Fucker cut my arm...HEY MICHAEL HEAL ME!!!'' (Warrior)
We...took out five goblins...It's very pitiable.....Don't look at me like that (AN: He's talking to you, my dear reader.)
''You know we only took out five goblins right?'' (Mage)
The warriors looked at her and said.
''Five less nasty fuckers out here then'' (Warrior 1)
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''Yeah WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!!!'' (Warrior 2)
I, the mage and the archer all at the same timed face palmed.
''You....FUCKING IDIOTS!!! THAT DOES NOT MAKE A MOTHER FUCKING DIFFERENCE EVEN IF YOU KILL A HUNDREAD IT WILL MAKE NO MOTHER FUCKING DIFFERNCE YOU GOD. DAMN. RETARDS!!!'' (Archer)
Well....the archer just snapped.
''.....'' (Warrior 1)
''.......I.......'' (Warrior 2)
They're completly dumbfounded until one of them said.
''........Woah dude calm down....just calm down man it'll be okay all we have to do is just go in there and slaughter the rest of them.'' (Warrior 1)
''Yeah.'' (Warrior 2)
...Can...they be any bigger idiots?
''-sigh- fuck it do whatever you want....but it is not my fault if we're all brutally killed.'' (Archer)
We walk in and see.....thousands of goblins.
''FUCK YEAH A CHALLENGE!!!'' (Warrior 1)
''IT'S GONNA BE A SLAUGHTER IN A MINUTE'' (Warrior 2)
While those two idiots are getting fired up the goblins....FUCK THEY'RE RUNNING AT US!!!.
''QUICKLY YOU RETARDS RUN!!!'' (Archer)
He tried to call out to them but.....they're lost to the swarm of goblins.
''SHIT!!! YOU TWO GET OUT OF HERE I'LL COVER YOU FOR AS LONG AS I CAN!!!'' (Archer)
I find this man to be very admirable.
''Okay see ya later'' (Mage)
Her....not so much...she just runs away.
''Goodbye.....archer.'' (Michael)
I say as I run away.....never said I was admirable.
''Wait...you don't even know my name it's CHRIIIIIS!!!'' (Arche.......Chris)
As he was talking the goblin swarm got him and he's being stabbed to death.
''OH FUCK!!!" (Michael)
I scream out as I quickly run off with the goblin swarm behind me.
''MICHAEL QUICKLY DUCK!!!" (Mage)
Wait what...OH SHIT DUCK!!!
A giant fire duck goes over my head.
''SERIOUSLY!!??'' (Michael)
I turn around to see.....like five fucking goblins dead out of the WHOLE FUCKING SWARM!!!.
''What....but....that's my strongest attack....how?'' (Mage)
The mage falls to her knees and starts muttering stuff.
''Twenty years of my life.....for nothing'' (Mage)
She's not getting up and I'm still running for my life.
And the swarm's on my ass AND THEY'RE SPEEDING UP!!!
''GET UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT AND RUN!!!'' (Michael)
When she hears me she looks up only to get a face full of dagger and goblin.
''AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!'' (Mage)
I'm still running for gods know how long.
Until the goblin swarm stops and...
A FUCKING BOULDER FALLS ON ME!!!
Then I see total and complete darkness.
''ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!!??'' (Michael)
Then I see a man in Black armour with a mithril greatsword next to him and he's sitting on a throne of skulls.
''Hello there I am the Overlord and you shalt be my servant for now on.'' (Lakurn)
''And if I refuse?'' (Michael)
''You don't have any choice.'' (Lakurn)
''Well....that sucks...'' (Michael)
''It may suck but soon you'll know that is the best choice for you.'' (Lakurn)
''Yeah right....just kill me now.'' (Michael)
''Gladly.'' (Lakurn)
''Huh?'' (Michael)
He picks up his greatsword and chops my head off and uses some sort of magic to revive me and I notice that I have no skin.
''WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!!???'' (Michael)
I ask him....politely and he answers with.
''What....you'll never feel pain or fear and you don't have to sleep just focus on getting this seal off me that limits my power.'' (Lakurn)
'I'm not doing that.' (Michaels thoughts)
''As you wish my lord'' (Michael)
I walk towards him and start chanting a strange magic.
'What the fuck!!? is he controlling my body??' (Michaels thoughts)
As if reading my mind he says.
''Oh yeah....I don't really need your mind just your body....so have fun breaking my seal for eternity...and yes I'm controlling it....'' (Lakurn)
All I hear for the rest of my eternity is the laughter of the Overlord and awful music. (AN: Music is Justin Bieber and One direction....god may you save his soul.)
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THE END.