My name is Xander (AN: pronounced Zander.) and I am a demon guarding the great planes of flames and the pits of despair....but right now I'm going to the gates of hell to let the sinners in...well I hope some of them are surprised by the Taco bell. (AN: yes this is a small reference to Lazy ash one of my favorite books here :D)

I walk towards the gates of hell and see the old geezer guarding it his name is Rafael one of the ten generals of hell.

He sees me walk up to the gate and says.

''Oh hello there young man what are you doing at the gates of hell today?'' (Rafael)

I look at him and say.

''It's time to unlock the gates sir.'' (Xander)

His eyes open in surprise for a second before they go back to their usual lazy look and he says.

''Ho ho so it's time to unlock the gates here let me open the gates for you.'' (Rafael)

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that he was really fucking buff.

''Okay, thank you sir I'm unlocking the gates now.'' (Xander)

When I say that he stands up and gets ready to open up the giant 50ft tall gates with only his hands.

Then I put the key in and unlock the gates.

''Alright LET'S DO THIS!!!'' (Rafael)

Right as he screamed out those words he pushes the gates and they slowly move inch by inch.

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''Sir I know that you're strong and all.......but do you want me to help you out?'' (Xander)

When I say that he responds with.

''I wouldn't want you breaking all of the bones in your body trying to move it by an inch.'' (Rafael)

While saying that I noticed that his face went red and he was breathing heavily.

''Sir I think that you should get some demons to help.'' (Xander)

When I said that he looked at me with fury and screamed.

''DO YOU THINK I RAFAEL ONE OF THE TEN GREAT GENERALS OF HELL WOULD NEED HELP WITH OPENING A FUCKING GATE!!!???'' (Rafael)

When he was screaming his face just got redder he was slowly losing the strength in his arms and legs so I quickly said.

''You don't have to push the gates open right now....you can do it over time since technically you would push the gates open it'd just take a bit of time.'' (Xander)

When I said that he just kept trying to open the gates while ignoring me.

So I grabbed his shoulder and he........threw me into a god damn tower.

''Do. not. fucking. touch. ME!!!!!!.'' (Rafael)

When he said that I may have...........deficated myself.

''Sir if you could just.......!!!!!!!!'' (Xander)

As I was talking HE THREW A FUCKING BOULDER AT ME!!!!!

''DO NOT DISTRACT ME WHEN I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!!!'' (Rafael)

I responded with.

''YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO THROW A FUCKING BOULDER AT ME FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!'' (Xander)

When I screamed that out I saw him turn around with a weird black flame in his eyes and he screamed out.

''YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME!!!'' (Rafael)

When I finally managed to stand up I saw him vanish in an instant then I saw him reappear and...........bitch slap me so hard and far that I hit a mountain with snow on it......WE'RE IN HELL!!!.

''Yooou......sooonnn......of........a.......biiiiiiiiiiitch'' (Xander)

I could barely even speak. (AN: Well duh.....the guy just bitch slapped you to a mountian with snow on it.....in hell......you should be dead.)

''Shuuuuut.......uuuuuuup...........aaaaaaaauthooooooor..............'' (Xander) 

(AN: Oh I am not the author......................[Eyes start going left and right rapidly]......I'm............an illusion....YES AN ILLUSION.......You're just imagining me.....totally)

''Ooooh.......okaaaaaaay........theeeeeennn.........caaaaaannn........I..........gooooo......toooooo..........sleeeep???'' (Xander)

My eyes won't stay open for long and I think that I am dying........It hurts.....so much.

''Pleeeeeeease...............buuuuuuuury..........meeeeeeeeee..............wiiiiiiith..........myyyyyyyy.............faaaamiiiiiillyyyy............'' (Xander)

I slowly embrace the darkness coming towards me and I open my eyes again only to see a man dressed in full black armour while wielding a mithril greatsword and he is sitting on a throne of skulls.

(AN:...hmmmmm I wonder..........who could that be..........there are so many characters with that description like.....Lakurn.......and Lakurn.........oh there's also Lakurn)

''Hello there young one would you like to join me?'' (Lakurn)

When he says that I simply reply with.

''It depends on the job...'' (Xander)

When I said that he looked quite amused and said.

''It's about taking the entire universe....and you will be payed with a few planets to control and godhood.'' (Lakurn)

I thought for as long as two seconds before saying.

''I'm in.'' (Xander)

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THE END.