POV Main

After I got some results with misfits, I felt that I was close to completing all my intentions. There would always be something, as there was no normal people that learned sensory radar or wind sphere abilities. Overall I was close to completion of my projects. They would exist and work, as they were created. I did all I could. I was also close to point, where I would lose my sense of direction. Having no aim is kind of weight, that limits you.

Unlimited Devas lived almost without me with its own life. I got what I could with my Ark project. I would develop it more, but main thing was done, knowledge about magic passed down. My survival instinct whispered to me, that I couldn’t do much more and needed to wait, to see what kind of threat higher levels would bring.

When one is without aim, one often became monkey from Chinese story. Monkey is closed in room. It got messages from outside, let call them threats or carrots. It reacts to threats and carrots. Maybe incentive instead of carrot would be better suited. It reacts to threats and incentives. It drifts. Perhaps it isn’t bad strategy in complicated world. I wanted to be better than that. So, I was afraid of that room. That gave me some motivation to search proactive moves. It was sad, I couldn’t find one at the moment.

Noel told me, that in chess, there were positions, that you couldn’t do much in them. You needed just repeat moves, till something would change or you called game draw. Maybe I was at that position. Well, Noel didn’t put my worries highly or think about them deeply. He was in pair with Lily, so I almost could see endorphins buzzing in his brain, when we met. This one was happy monkey. He didn’t care, if he was in Chinese room or wherever. He just had that nice time, when you can stop thinking about yourself for the moment and be alive and happy.

So, I couldn’t find my aim, so others were borrowing my time for their purposes. Coal wanted to create some project, that would put him closer to nature. He saw ecological villages in internet as ecovillages or bioenergy villages, but he saw dark side in them, as they throw away many inventions of civilization. He said, that one big furnace for producing electric energy was better than ten smaller. And electricity produced from wind or solar panels was unreliable. He said, that it would be ridiculous to live according to wind catching turbines or clouds hiding sun. We had few talks. Talks are important to wear ideas into words. He had that druid like idea to create community living among trees, but connected to achievements of human civilization. It wasn’t about cutting himself from civilization, more about finding way to live in forest. I needed to point him few things as I was from Underwood. Leaf forest meant bugs. People don’t live in forests not because, they are anti eco. There are many things, that disturb that kind of living. Bugs are most persistent. Higher animals would run on sight. Only bears and wolfs in Poland could attack human without provocation. And elks. There are some animals, that could attack after being provoked, as boars, especially with newborn small boars near them. Vipers wouldn’t bite, if you wouldn’t step on them. Bisons are hard to overcome, when they eat from your garden, but they aren’t aggressive. Rest of animals isn’t dangerous to grown up human, that is fully aware of surroundings.

Problem with living in forest is that nature doesn’t recognize borders and limits. When winter comes all small mammals are searching for warm place. Mice, shrews, even legless lizards are trying to go to your house or other buildings. They try to eat anything even remotely looking as food. Floor, clothes, electric wires are most obvious aims. Mice can eat into wooden house or even more in elements of insulation against winter. In winter there is no bugs at last.

Wooden houses build in forest very fast decay. Tree cycle in nature doesn’t end with its death. There is lot of creatures, bugs, mushrooms and even plants, that use cellulose or fiber as it’s called by food producers, to thrive. Also forest usually have microclimate, where humidity and moisture is higher. It helps with decay of things, wooden ones and made of steel.

Coal asked for solutions. Stone and concrete were solutions for building houses. Or for building foundations and top part could be built from deeply impregnated wood. That kind of wood was closer to concrete on its surface. It didn’t smell of wood. I added, that even concrete was destroyed with time by nature. Human living in forest was always fighting against decay provided by nature.

And bugs, mosquitos in summer season, were the worst.

He didn’t believe me or just wanted to try his idea. I asked him, why he was so stubborn. He said, that when he was in forest and focused on sensory radar ability, he could feel as part of nature. I was interested. I knew, that people that liked to walk through forest or even sailors sailing in lakes, could get feeling of departure. Departure from themselves. It’s not, that they forgot, that they exist or stop caring for sails and sailing helm. It just feels as time is jumping between points, where something is happening. Or in forest awareness is growing beyond your body. Coal had that magical ability, that lets him jump into that state in forest. I didn’t know if Huntress could feel the same.

For normal people closest to those abnormal states is when they run at sea shore with feet in water. Waves that sunk their feet and return can create feeling of disorientation. It’s not harmful. You just stop believing your senses for a moment. Just look at water, waves at your feet during your run.

So, at the end, forest was out of question. Park around house was good solution according to me. In fact, we had project part done. In Poland, nobility in nineteen century and earlier tried to live like that. Parks near manors had lot of trees, as trees blocked severe winds. There was no noble manor culture in Poland anymore. Two World Wars took care of it. But projects were left. Coal wanted to have big forest near manor, perhaps behind park. My promise for him, to help, was half done.

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POV Smoke

Before I became involved with Devas I had some dreams. Those were to left my sign in development of science. Whatever science. I thought, that I would be even with human civilization, if I would do something like it. You know, if there was no civilization, I would sit in forest or cave and spent my time on searching food or warm place. If I would be born near Mediterranean sea, it would be warmer, but there were other problems. So I was grateful, that I was born in these times. I even felt debt I had to pay to humanity.

At that time, when I felt as young god, I thought, that I would fulfill that debt. I could see my stats and [Nervous system] stat was near human maximum. I went for the easiest way. There were mathematical or physical problems, that would made me famous. I took two, that looked not complicated. It was Collatz conjecture and searching for Ramsey numbers. I tried and tried and tried. I failed.

I asked myself, why it was like that. My stat indicated, that with great perception I should be able to see something, even if I wouldn’t solve problem. I thought, that maybe my perception was too distracted and I use only some part of it on mathematical problem. I started working on focusing my attention on my work. It kind of worked. I became clumsy, when I sank into thoughts about math. Devas checked few times, if I wasn’t under some influence. Still, focusing helped but wasn’t enough. I solved four color theorem for myself without that ugly solution, that was done before. It wasn’t did for glory, but I didn’t lost my passion thanks to that little success.

Still, working on those seemingly easy problems felt more and more like walking on quicksand. There was nothing one can aim at. There was some structure beneath sands, but I couldn’t comprehend it. I lost hope with time. I wanted to put that work at some point in time, when I would have better stats. It ate too much of my time and brought nothing. Or so I thought. I was spending less and less time on it.

One time I was lost in thoughts. I was helping with Devas supporters and had break between sessions. I started to think about math. I didn’t notice, that break ended. I didn’t react on words, that people said in my direction. It took a minute and impatient Mirror shouted at me with addition of [Will resonance]. It didn’t woke me from my focus. It took some time for me to get back to reality.

When I met Ember, I had change on stat page. I got minor [Will resonance] defensive ability great pointed attention. It seemed, that by overfocusing on something, I could defend myself against will attacks. Ember said, that psychic defense ability worked only on part of attack, never blocked all of it, so defense stats were important. My ability greatly guarded me from psychic disruptions of my attention.

Unlimited Devas didn’t share psychic abilities with anybody. There was policy, that those were most harmful and alienating abilities, we had. If humanity would know about them, we would be destroyed. So less people knew, it was for the better. After I shared my finding, I was seen as some kind of magic freak. I developed second magic ability. I was only better than Jack in stats, but already was famous in our circle. I got lot of mixtures for teaching others. Sith and En asked, if I could help them with inventing new mixtures. They had some theories, how to do that, but needed fresh look at things. I agreed. Mathematical problems were immortal and could wait. I needed something that would let me feel successful.

POV Bear

I was training with weapons. I was kind of angry. It seemed, that prisoners, that left prisons had always bodyguards from some criminal organization waiting for them. Someone linked facts and it wasn’t police. Free lunches became rare. I put bio-stone, I called him, One from Dark Cave, into freezer. I was riding without purpose there and around. Prisons, that didn’t have victims yet, didn’t have bodyguards usually. But they learned their lesson fast. It was tiring as I needed to go farther and farther. I needed change.

Training with weapons helped me drain my negative thoughts. I just went to forest or gravel pit and shot a lot. I would leave that area after. Chance that someone would rat me was minimal. Shooting is something special. Shooting in real life, not in computer games. Bullets aren’t so powerful, that one thinks, one little twig on line of shot changes trajectory significantly, sometimes massively. Guns are effective against animals and humans not because they are so powerful, but because we are so weakly build. When you take out human bones, human flesh is less dense than water and much weaker against penetrating bullet.

I knew, that there would be conflict with Unlimited Devas in the future. I wanted to be prepared. My gun was my best friend. My dreams about power crumbled, but I was still alive and kicking. I knew, there was chaos in my head. I started to have urges to kill something, some animal or even human. Maybe it was because I was living alone and contacts with people became somehow tiresome for me. I would lie, if I told, that I was searching for calmness. I had some anxiety. It was building inside of me making me more aggressive.

I killed hitch-hikers twice, but it was very stupid. If someone, some car with camera inside came during three minutes window, I would be cooked. Lots of people installed cameras in cars. Somehow I forgot about it in my burst times. Loneliness attacks deceitfully and one stops to take care about details.

One time, when I was in Linden Slippers region (Kurpie) and I was shooting by the lake, I was surprised. Guy, Paladin, came up from behind me. He had gun pointed at me. I felt him as host feels host only when he was close.

-= What are you doing? – I asked. I was convinced, that host couldn’t kill other host, but I wasn’t so sure when he aimed at me.

-= I was hiding nearby. Didn’t expect you to come here.

-= Could you aim off of me?

He didn’t move gun aimed at me.

-= First tell me, what are you doing here? You were with Devas, but now maybe you are with Diana.

-= No. I’m by myself. I have no magic ability, so I learned shooting.

-= But why are you here?

I had no friends and no better place to go, as people got on my nerves quite quickly.

-= Just passing by.

He took aim off of me. He looked as somebody, that wanted to say something, but had problem with it.

-= Just say it. – I said.

-= You should buy yourself a dog. - He said and left just like that.

That was weird.

I bought young dog. I had lot of bones for him to play with. It took for him lot of time to get used to my aura, but then he became my honest supporter with everything I was doing. He had some anger issues, but listened to me completely. He also heard people that was closing at me lot earlier than I. I messaged Paladin with thanks and appreciation, but he didn’t respond. Whatever was happening, he had his own troubles.