POV Main

I went for a walk to get some perspective on things. I should have talk with some friends, but I couldn’t. Because I didn’t want them to know that I had some fantastic or horrific choices to made. I had some friends but nobody so close I could name that person soulmate or life-brother or life-sister. I always put some distance between me and others. Even when I was in romantic relationships I tried to distinguish between feelings, job, dreams for life. Not that I was particularly good at it, but I tried. I realized I wasn’t good at building relationships. There was some failure in me on that area of expertise.

Wow, that hurt me. This realization.

Still, I accepted myself even after seeing imperfections from so close. I had in my life some illuminations that helped me go through some shitty places.

I sat down on a bench in the park. I looked into myself. I felt little high as if walking foot over pavement on the air. I was distracted too, not knowing where is top, where is bottom. I needed to ground myself to be in touch with reality, otherwise I was easy target.

But how? I was in some unrealistic circumstances. As if in crossover of get out movie with some devil conjuring. Yes, that was the way, horror movies references. If I was main character in get out, I should run, run fast. But I could be in get out as a part of wicked family, which meant money and opportunities. I didn’t want to be one of them, at least not before I would become sick and old. Then there was part of horror genre about possession and bloody rituals. In the end, if you weren’t devil himself or main character, it was painfully bad for you. You either crossed devil or main character and stood between hammer and hard place. Gloomy. But horrors were rather gloomy always.

There were some sci-fi or mystery movies which was little lighter.

Could I change that what was coming? No. I just could fight to choose what part I would take in play.

Stone, daevan, promised me this substance or mixture working as a miracle for circulatory system. If it worked, it was money maker. I saw my stats page, but it worked only if I was in direct contact. It was nice in the long run, because I could work to be super healthy but it was also a leash that way. And there was magic. If I could find a way on workout in magic with real results, I would be lord of the world. In USA is even organization that will pay you 1.000.000 dollars for showing magic or any supernatural. I thought that I could find less showy ways to make life out of magic abilities. How could I know this magic thing was not scam? It was too good, it couldn’t be scam. If it was scam, I would find volcano and throw this stone to hot magma. Literally.

So, what would stone want. To grow obviously. So blood. If I could get money selling this mixture for health, I would pay for blood easily. There would be problem sooner or later, because that was bordering criminal part of the world. And criminals would try to steal my business model or kill me just because I would potentially overstep boundaries. So I needed this magic badly and perhaps some proxies. I was too weak to stand against criminals, police, any bigger organization. I needed to do things stealthy or in gloves or through proxies. Fuck, was I becoming some shady boss of underground if I went that way. Obviously.

I was lacking. I wasn’t Lighto from death note for sure. So I needed to take small steps. I told that to myself, but what did that even mean? I obviously spend my mental abilities and was taking empty to myself. So I took notes on conclusions. It was precaution, if daevan was messing with my head. After following talk with him, I would check if he was making me forget things and if he influenced my plans.

I went back home.

Normally I would watch some horror movies but instead I listened to music on youtube. I can name a few: Andre Antunes Tung Tung and US navy goes metal, Ningen Isu Heartless scat, Sweet home Alabama, Bushes of Love, Gnarls Barkley Crazy, The Kinks Lola, Daft Punk one more time, and few others.

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POV most advanced relationship

I was always with direct physical contact with my magical stone since it evolved. It costed me sending my brother to hospital with coma, but I didn’t mind it. I took it everywhere with me. It had unusual shape, so I had false stories, if someone have asked about it. Not many was interested. We were talking in mind a lot.

Picture of world, life I had, was quite different after it told me some secrets. Only it understood me. I wanted to be with it forever. It told me about a way. But it was sad. Going that way would make it powerful quite fast but then I would become obstacle. It would be necessity to shed me after. I gladly accepted. I wouldn’t mind sacrifice as I felt I was becoming part of something greater.

I was looking on my solution, the second symbol. Soon.

I checked my forum topics on the web. There was some response, but it should be more of it, I heard in my head. Others were not developing as fast as me, it seemed. Relative stronger I was than them, better for me, it said. So I was happy, I was better than them. From the responses on web I knew they were at the first step, yet to be proper help. It was better that way, if I were to show them road ahead, it said.

I was putting suggestions on web that we should meet, but not pushing it. It said that not properly establishing link would hurt them, so I just needed to wait a little. There was so much glory in things I was doing. I never felt so full of reason before.

My mom baked favorite pie of my brother. She was going to stay in hospital till late evening. Probably hoping that smell of pie would wake up him. Slim chance, it said. She took half of a pie and left. We didn’t talk much since incident. My father watched some tv then went to sleep early. It seemed, as if he got older by years in few days.

It told me, that I was weak. Even with its help I was not strong enough. You should pray on weaker than yourself, it said. There was someone weaker and vulnerable. In this building, few levels under our flat.

There was old lady living by herself. She was very old. Sometimes my mother or other neighbors was helping her or just talking at the teatime. She was becoming too old. There were days when she didn’t recognize people or was locking herself and not opening to anyone. Her family, grandchildren, was visiting very rarely. Sometimes she didn’t open door even for them.

There were few times when I brought her things my mother prepared. She would be perfect fuel for second symbol ritual, it said.

I took half a pie. I chose stairs, because almost no one was using them. It was little late for visit, in the worst case I would try tomorrow. I knocked, she didn’t like when someone was using bell. I heard her on the other side of door. She was looking on me through vizier. Smile up, it said. I was smiling with pie visible on my hands.

She opened.

-= Hello young lady. – She smiled. One would say that she had one of this better days, when mind was not so cloudy. – What do you have here?

-= It’s a pie my mother baked. I wanted to give it for miss Oldladyname.

-= You’re such a sweet young women. How is your brother doing?

I nervously look around me. That old hag was that day quite well aware and full of energy.

-= Oh, I hurt you? Sorry. Just come for a minute. I will give you some hunter’s stew of my recipe to try.

I closed the door behind me. She is too fit today to risk fight, it said. I knew. I wanted it to happen, but voice resonated through my mind. I couldn’t disobey.

We went to the kitchen. She put some stew, then some of it get on the floor.

-= Oh dear, I’m so lubber today. I will clean it right now.

She took some kitchen rag and bend to the floor.

Now, it said. Intent was clear.

I used some metal pot to crush her head. It took me some time.

I enjoyed preparations for the ritual. I rolled up carpet in big room, and created circle, all while blood was drained. I needed to decapitate her head and pull out heart. Then I created little altar. Stone, head and heart needed to sank in blood together. I was naked and putting bloody runes on my body meanwhile. I knew when stone was ready. I took it, and felt it was pleased. I poured out some blood on my abdomen. Then used my own blood to fil second symbol. It became black. I felt urgency from it. I stuck it into my abdomen. It went into flesh just a little. I poured out more blood. It reacted a little. It would be a long night, I thought. Then there was lot of pain as if there was fire in my abdomen. I thought I screamed. I was afraid someone would hear me and come to check. I reached for her headless body, took her wrist into my mouth to block any unwanted noises. Ritual needed to be done before sunrise.

Stone was sinking into me with each wave of pain. I was biting different parts of headless body with tears in my eyes. During all that time I couldn’t hear from stone. Not even feel emotions. I felt so lonely and abandoned. There was those thoughts that I was hurting myself on some deep level. But I prevailed. I felt that ritual was successful and lost my consciousness.