xx48.11.25 / 15:20 / Friday

Ugh. Bad day today. Mood of the students: 'serious'. My mood: 'black'.

I guess I should confess this, I've been going out with Ray every night. I didn't write about it because ... actually I'm not sure why I didn't. Maybe I'm embarrassed. We haven't done anything. We haven't! Okay so he kissed me once, I turned my face so it was just on the cheek but I kind of didn't want to even have him kiss me there, I just ... it's nice, you know? Not him kissing me, I could have done without that, but he pays attention to me and he takes me to nice places and he tells me I'm pretty and even though I've been totally warned against how bad teenage boys can be by so many books and TV shows and movies he's been, as they say, 'a perfect gentleman'. He's even stopped talking about himself so much, he's really interested in me—don't worry, I'm still being careful, I haven't given anything away, nothing important anyway. Well ... maybe a few things, just tiny things, like how I lived just with my family for most of my life and how my parents are kind of famous (but I didn't tell him why, definitely not!), and how I didn't really choose to come here (but no details, DEFINITELY no details!) but now that I AM here, I actually kind of like it. Which ... which wasn't a lie. It couldn't be, I can't lie. To be perfectly honest I'm not sure what my feelings are towards this place, towards going to school, towards all of this. Some things are 100% good, like meeting C2 and becoming friends with her. Other things are really bad, like this whole mind control thing (must investigate) and Veronica Flux (even if she hasn't done anything particularly horrible lately) (she's not even carrying around her flock of cronies any more, and last time she spoke to me it was to sincerely compliment my elegant solution to a teamwork problem).

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But overall ... I don't know. Maybe I need to talk to C2 about this.

...

As usual, my best friend knew exactly how to make me focus. She listened to me pour my heart out about everything (not about who I really am or anything like that, I still haven't told her and I don't plan to, it's just ... just too complicated and not the right time), and then there was a nice long thoughtful silence, and then she asked:

"Do you regret coming here?"

And I had to honestly answer, no, I don't. Even if I could go back in time and change things, choose not to go through Daniel's teleporter or even force him to make SURE it works properly, I don't think I would. Because that would destroy all of the experiences I've had here, it would mean I never would've met C2 or experienced a real school, even if it is completely bonkers because of this mood control and whatever other sinister stuff is going on here.

By the way, I have to once again state how amazingly amazing C2 is. You know how I put how it was a bad day today? And how my mood is 'black'? It's because I had an argument with her. It was about Ray, as you might have guessed. She doesn't exactly oppose me going out with him but it gets annoying the way she keeps asking questions about everything—like she's checking on me, like I can't take care of myself. Of course I appreciate her concern but I'm my own person and I can make my own choices, I don't need her looking over my shoulder at everything.

Anyway, the argument ended with me storming off and I didn't apologise until I called her up just now, but she accepted it straight away and then was instantly ready to hear all my problems and resolve them for me. She's great. I still haven't figured out how I'm going to show her how much she means to me, but I'm sure I'll think of something eventually.

Oops, it's getting late. I have to get ready for tonight. Yes, it's a date with Ray, why shouldn't I enjoy myself? It's not like there's anything wrong with seeing him. Right?