xx48.11.09 / 15:16 / Wednesday

(Something weird with the date on my Opal, it says it's the 9th even though the 9th was yesterday, maybe some kind of glitch in the local nets? Anyway.)

I didn't get to talk with Other Charlotte even though we shared a class. During class she was very quiet (which wasn't that unusual considering the fact that we were writing essays—well, I was just proof-reading an essay I wrote two years ago but you know what I mean) and didn't really even look at me. Of course, she doesn't really look at anyone, but still. I thought maybe she might have said something, a quick hello maybe or a 'see you at lunch', except she wasn't AT lunch. Veronica Flux was, though, and once again she decided to come and pester me.

"Still haven't signed up for any clubs, Charlotte?" she said. It's weird, but even though she's the one who GAVE me the stupid 'Fumbles' nickname, she's about the only person in the school who doesn't use it. "I'm a little disappointed, I thought you would've listened to my excellent advice. You do want to fit in here, don't you?"

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I mumbled something like 'yes'. I couldn't lie; I don't like it here and I'm not having much fun and I still intend to leave as soon as I figure out how, but I DO want to fit in. Kind of desperately.

"Well then, you should listen to what I tell you," said Veronica. "Do you want Laurel or Suza or Karen to show you where you sign up?"

I shook my head. "I can find my own way," I said. It wasn't a lie, if I was going to sign up for a club I probably COULD find my own way. I could tell Veronica wasn't quite satisfied, but at least she left me alone. Why is she so desperate for me to join a club? I wish I had someone to talk to about this. I wish I knew what was going on with Other Charlotte. Did I offend her? I bet I did—no, I KNOW I did, I was so rude to her, even with my big apology her feelings must be hurt. I have to make a greater effort to find her and talk to her. Maybe apologise again? Would that be acceptable? Once you've apologised once, is it insulting to do so again? I'm not really sure at all. When I got home my uniform was outside my door, all neatly folded in a plastic bag. Other Charlotte must have dropped it off. It's so nicely washed and even smells good now (before it smelled mostly of starch). Is she avoiding me? Is that why she just dropped it off instead of giving it to me, even though we were in the same class today?

Sigh. Dealing with people is difficult!