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A Suspicious Lack of Horses
Spirit: 18 - Considerations

Spirit: 18 - Considerations

Andrew showed Cathryn to a guest room for her to change, and she emerged a few minutes later in some nicer clothes, following Andrew to the living room where his sisters were waiting while his parents were busy in the kitchen.

"So, you're Cathryn, huh?" Sarah asked, getting up and giving her an evaluating look, the moment they walked in.

"Y-yes?" Cathryn stepped back a bit, a little weirded out by the sudden intensity. "And you are?"

"Sarah, stop freaking her out." Amy sighed, getting up as well, approaching Cathryn. "This is Sarah, I'm Amy, and that's Kate. We're Andrew's sisters." She introduced them all, holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you." Cathryn replied, shaking her hand nervously.

"So you're in Andrew's head?" Kate asked curiously. "What's that like?"

"It's not- I only get some thoughts every now and then, unless I focus… I try not to focus." Cathryn explained.

"That bad, huh?" Sarah snickered.

Andrew rolled his eyes. "Yes, my mind is a horrible place. Really, no one should be in there."

"It's more that it feels like an invasion of privacy…" Cathryn muttered.

"Please, Andrew invades everyone's privacy. That emotion sensing ability is bullshit." Amy snorted. "It's actually nice that someone can finally show him what it's like."

"Hey, I'm literally incapable of doing anything else!" Andrew protested. "It isn't like I chose this ability."

"Just because you can't help it doesn't mean it isn't inconvenient for the rest of us." Amy retorted. "We don't judge you for it, obviously, but it's still satisfying when you have to deal with it yourself, so we know you know how it feels."

"Fair." Andrew sighed. "By the way, where's Jack?"

"He took his friends out for dinner. Mom and Dad wanted to be able to talk without worrying about keeping secrets." Sarah explained with a shrug.

"Gotcha." Andrew nodded along.

There was a short pause, before Amy turned to Cathryn. "So… have you and Andrew known each other long?"

"Kinda?" Cathryn replied hesitantly. "We go to school together, so we've always known of each other, but we've never really been friends. Especially not after…" She trailed off, glancing towards Andrew as his expression darkened. "He isolated himself from everyone after that. It was hard to even approach him."

Amy sighed. "Yeah, even we have a hard time getting close to him at school."

"You guys don't need the stigma of being the sisters of the dude who killed a kid." Andrew grumbled defensively.

"Isn't that our decision to make?" Sarah commented, raising an eyebrow at him. "You don't have to protect us. We aren't ashamed of you, and anyone who would care about something like that isn't worth being friends with in the first place."

Andrew sighed at the familiar argument, one they'd repeated dozens of times. "People suck sometimes, but that doesn't make them bad people. Why ruin perfectly fine friendships over something that doesn't even matter? There's barely any time to hang out at school anyways. It's just not worth it."

"How is it not worth it to keep you from being fucking miserable all the time!?!" Sarah retorted.

"I'm not miserable! I'm fine! I don't need people to like me! It's not like they'll be around very long, anyway." Andrew countered. Who cared if everyone rejected him? He'd reject them! He wouldn't bother with them and they wouldn't bother with him. Good fucking riddance!

"Andrew…" Cathryn placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with concern, feeling the hurt and frustration coming through their bond.

"What? I'm fine!" Andrew protested.

"Andrew, you can't lie to me." Cathryn replied softly. "I know what's going on in there."

Andrew froze, his expression twisting. "I don't need them." He spat. "Maybe- maybe I need someone, but not them. Their acceptance wouldn't mean anything to me. I've seen what they accept, and it's all empty and meaningless, based on nothing. I'm not going to let myself live and die for something like that. I'm not going to work my ass off to get that kind of acceptance."

"Yet you won't let us risk it to help out our own brother?" Amy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Andrew sighed. "If you already have it, why throw it away? It's at least something. It's comforting when it's there, and stable enough to last through most hardships. The situations where it might fail you are situations you're unlikely to ever find yourselves in. Situations that only happen to freaks like me."

"You're not a freak!" Kate protested fiercely, glaring at him.

"Yes, I am." Andrew retorted blandly. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but objectively, my experiences are so far outside the norm, they can only be called freakish. I'm not even close to normal by Bonded standards!"

"That still isn't an excuse to avoid people." Sarah huffed, crossing her arms.

"They avoided me first." Andrew shrugged. "I'm just not chasing after them."

*

The conversation died a bit after that, but thankfully dinner was ready not much later, and everyone was called over to help set the table and get everything together. Arose arrived just as they finished setting up, Ertemis hanging on his arm, surprising everyone. Apparently they'd decided to couple again. They all sat down and after a quick round of introductions for Cathryn and Ertemis's sake, they began grabbing food, everyone digging in, focusing on eating for the first few minutes.

"So, Andrew, Cathryn, I've heard a few of the details, but I'd like to hear from you how this… Bond formed." Helen began after the initial food frenzy was over.

Cathryn pulled her eyes away from the spectacle that was Andrew's eating habits, wondering how he managed to not make a mess while shoving his food around like that, turning to Helen. "I- I'm really not sure… there was this- this thing, invisible, and Andrew showed up to fight it. It tried to grab me, then when Andrew pulled me away… something seemed to click and suddenly we were in each other's heads."

"Actually, it happened when you grabbed me, after I pulled you away and was heading after the machine." Andrew interjected, wiping his face with a napkin. "The machine grabbed you, I grabbed the machine so it wouldn't take you with it when I kicked, then you grabbed my wrist… maybe it was the skin on skin contact? Though… you definitely touched me when I paid for my food earlier, so it probably wasn't just that."

"What were you feeling at the time? When you grabbed him?" Stephen asked Cathryn curiously.

"I- I'm not sure… I just remember being scared, for both of us. I- I didn't want him to get hurt or to leave me alone with- with whatever that was." Cathryn explained hesitantly.

"Hmmm… desperation, a high stress environment, physical contact… if the Bond was already prepared, waiting, this situation would provide the perfect trigger." Ertemis commented thoughtfully.

"So, lesson learned. Don't go saving random girls at the mall." Andrew snorted. "Or at least avoid touching them…"

"Really, avoiding going around touching random girls is probably good advice in general." Stephen commented with a smirk.

"Unless you're really good at it." Arose added with a wink.

"Don't be crass, dear." Ertemis chided him with a pat on the arm while Helen snorted in disgust.

"Does it really matter though?" Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm pretty much the only person this could possibly happen to, and it already happened. I can't be Bonded to two people, or something like this would have happened before, when a Bonded saved someone or something."

"True, but… I'm not saying this is likely, but with your multiple forms, can you really be sure you can't create multiple Bonds as well? At least as many as you have forms, in theory." Stephen pointed out.

Andrew's eyes widened as he realized that wasn't only possible, it might even be probable. "I should wear gloves… and long sleeves. With duct tape."

Stephen chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm sure you're not going to find yourself saving too many damsels in distress in the near future."

"You know, it doesn't have to be a girl…" Amy pointed out. "Be careful of any men you save too."

"I think I just need to avoid interacting with mortals, period. It always seems to get me in trouble." Andrew grumbled.

"Not the best track record, no…" Stephen muttered.

Arose snorted. "I've seen worse. Seus couldn't go a day without either fucking or killing some poor mortal."

Ertemis sighed. "I think it's a Rabbit thing… too much energy, not enough outlets. Though they seem to have calmed down after their foray into the battery industry."

"E-excuse me…" Cathryn piped up hesitantly. "Did- did you say Zeus?!? As in the god Zeus?!?"

"It's actually Seus, dear. With an 'S'." Ertemis replied. "But yes, that is how you mortals know him. You might also recognize me as Artemis, and this one as Eros. How they mixed the letters up, I have no idea."

"Time and poorly kept records." Arose commented. "When you fade into myth, things tend to get a bit fuzzy."

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

Cathryn's eyes widened. "So- so the Greek myths are real?!?"

"Ha! No. Well, mostly." Arose replied. "It's true that we existed and had influence for a time, but most of those stories are just that: stories. The Greeks were very creative, and as long as there was an interesting idea, they would go with it. They would literally make up myths while drunk off their ass. Wonderful people, really."

"I did say we used to be gods." Andrew commented.

"I didn't expect them to be your grandparents!" Cathryn hissed back.

"Alright, enough! This is getting off topic." Helen interjected. "We're here to learn about Cathryn, not some ancient history that has little to no bearing on how we operate nowadays." She turned to Cathryn. "Do you have any plans for college? Potential careers?"

Cathryn froze. "I-I can still have a career? I-I thought- won't I have to work Out- Outside?"

Helen turned to Andrew, frowning. "What have you been telling this girl?"

"Nothing!" Andrew protested. "I just said I was going to be joining an organization, and that since we're Bonded, she'll probably have to join too!"

Helen clicked her tongue, before turning back to Cathryn. "Bonded can still have careers, yes. We go to college, learn various trades, get jobs to help support ourselves while we raise our families, anything your average mortal might do. For example, Stephen currently works as a counselor here in town."

"Or you could own a private island hidden in the middle of the Mediterranean, where a small native population worships you as a god." Arose interjected. "You know, if you were looking for options."

Cathryn blinked at Arose a few times, before ignoring him and turning to Stephen. "You're a counselor?"

Stephen smiled. "I am. Are you interested in counseling? I could let you shadow me if you'd like."

Cathryn hesitated. "I- I'm not sure… I know I want to help people… people who are stuck in abusive situations, but- I'm not sure how." She muttered, her expression falling as frustration welled up within her. "They just don't see how damaging it is, and they just won't do what it takes to escape! How- how do you help someone who refuses to help themselves?!?"

A few glances shot towards Andrew, before looking away awkwardly. Stephen coughed as well, before answering. "This may sound a little harsh, but… you don't. When someone refuses to acknowledge the truth of a situation, a logical argument isn't going to change their mind, and a helping hand will only sustain their belief that things aren't so bad. The situation needs to change, something needs to happen that actually shows them the reality of their situation, and unfortunately, that change usually happens when the situation hits its lowest point. You hear it all the time. 'My life was X, and then I hit rock bottom.' Without consequences, people rarely take the step back to truly observe their life and what they're doing wrong. Only when things get really bad are they truly shaken and forced to adjust."

"But then… how do I help?" Cathryn asked.

"You show them what's wrong, make sure they know you're there to help them whenever they're ready, make sure they know how to get out if they want to, and then you leave them alone." Stephen stated firmly. "People are free to make their own decisions, their own mistakes. You can save people from a lot of things, but you can't save them from themselves. You can't force them to change. Once they do, you can be there to catch them, to support them as they struggle to get better, but you can't help someone walk on a broken leg. When something is broken, you need to wait for it to heal before you can use it. Walking on a broken leg will only break it more, and a broken mind will only continue to break. The break needs to go away, the thought process convincing them their situation is okay needs to change, before they can learn to walk again."

Cathryn crumpled in on herself slightly. "I don't think I could do that… I don't think I could handle watching people hurt themselves over and over, just waiting for them to want to change."

Stephen sighed, nodding in agreement. "Few can. It takes a certain level of heartlessness, which doesn't come naturally to those who genuinely want to help people. It's almost a paradox. If you care about helping people, you can't care too much about helping people. It's why many medical professionals get burnt out… you can only watch people harm themselves for so long before something breaks. You either become jaded, seeing every patient as the enemy, or you quit."

Andrew's eye was twitching as thoughts continued to flow through his connection with Cathryn, images of a tired, machine-like woman who worked and worked to provide for her family, while a lazy, bitter man sat to the side, leeching off her, doing nothing to help. A man who spent all their money on alcohol, on gambling, on other women, not even bothering to hide it. Yet she refused to leave him, refused to kick his lazy ass out, refused to see how much better their lives would be without him! Even when he came home drunk, even when he beat her when the money he'd wasted ran out, she still stayed!

"Andrew? Are you okay?" Helen asked, concerned.

"Oh no, he's pissed. Probably something to do with whatever is making her so depressed." Arose commented, gesturing towards Cathryn.

Cathryn jolted out of her swirling thoughts at Arose's comment, turning to Andrew with wide eyes as she felt his fury on her behalf. Andrew took a deep breath, releasing the aura from his Lizard core until he gained a proper distance from the outrage he felt at Cathryn's father's actions, allowing him to push it away for a moment. The Lizard wasn't great with emotions. He shot her an awkward smile. "Sorry about that… your dad's a dick."

Cathryn couldn't help but smile back. "I know."

No one spoke for a moment, everyone silently picking at their food, not sure what to say, until Arose spoke up. "Okay, I have to know. How on Earth did you just do that?" He asked curiously. "I literally watched your emotional profile shift!"

"I would like to know as well." Stephen commented, giving Andrew a concerned look.

"Uh, well, you see-" Andrew explained about his cores and how they affected his mood. "So I just increased my Lizard core's influence, and it helped me gain some distance. I'm still angry, but… I don't need to be angry, if that makes any sense."

"It seems like a function Monkeys get once their ability reaches a certain level, mood altering." Arose commented thoughtfully. "This aura ability you have… it seems more versatile than we initially thought. You should probably talk with an Elder. They can at least help you think of ways to explore it more."

Andrew hesitated before nodding in agreement. He hadn't had much luck with the Elders so far, but they were supposedly experts. It couldn't hurt to ask them, right? The conversation resumed, Helen asking Cathryn a few more pointed questions about her interests and life goals, while Arose did his best to derail the conversation in any way he could, which honestly did a lot to keep the dinner from feeling like an interrogation focused on Cathryn. By the end, everyone had accepted Cathryn as a new part of the family. There was still some awkwardness of course, mostly on Cathryn's end. She wasn't sure how to handle this new group of people who were suddenly very interested in her life. They offered support almost thoughtlessly, as if buying her new shoes or a better backpack was inconsequential. Sarah practically insisted on taking her out shopping for new clothes! She wasn't used to anyone being this… involved in her life. At least, not in a positive way.

After dinner was over, Andrew borrowed Arose's car again to take Cathryn home, though this time he made sure to actually follow the traffic laws, for the most part. Cathryn still had a death grip on the overhead handle as they pulled into her driveway. "Why- how do you make driving a car more nerve-wracking than freaking flying!?!" She exclaimed.

Andrew gave her a weird look. "What do you mean? I was going slow as fuck! How could you consider that nerve-wracking?!?"

Cathryn shuddered, jumping out of the car, before pausing and turning back. "I- thank you. For introducing me to your family. They were… nice."

Andrew shrugged. "No problem. It was my mom's idea anyway, I just picked you up." He chuckled, climbing out of the car himself.

Cathryn froze as she saw Andrew getting out, her eyes widening. "What are you doing?" She asked hesitantly.

Andrew paused. "Walking you to the door? Isn't that what you wanted me to do last time?"

Cathryn flushed. "You- you heard that?"

Andrew chuckled, nodding. "Turns out, thoughts related to us have easier times getting through. At least, as far as I can tell."

Cathryn nodded, thinking that made a lot of sense, before something else occurred to her and she froze again. "Then- you- when I was-" She stammered, her flush coming back as she thought about when she was writing her diary, a lot of what she wrote related to Andrew.

"It was like I had a narrator in my head for like fifteen minutes." Andrew grumbled. "Though, I will say, you kinda made me sound like an asshole… I wasn't trying to control everything, it's just- well, I know the Bonded better, so I just figured I'd take care of it."

Cathryn flushed deeper. "Maybe- maybe I was a little harsh. I don't think you're an- an-" She paused, before saying the next word in a barely audible hiss. "Asshole… you just- I know you're trying to care about people, but you have too much confidence in what you understand… I think you need to take the time and try to understand where other people are coming from sometimes, instead of just focusing on what you know."

Andrew frowned. "I would have listened if you'd said something. Hell, I wouldn't have had a choice! I thought- you were so confused. I don't think you even could have said anything."

Cathryn shook her head. "It isn't about listening, it's about- look, I know you did what you thought was best for both of us, but you barely even stopped to consider asking for my opinion! Especially- Andrew, you said we'd have a baby together without even thinking of talking to me about it! You just assumed I'd agree because it was the best solution you could think of! I mean, you're probably right, but… I would have appreciated it if you'd at least tried to consult me." Cathryn explained, venting a bit of her frustration at him.

Andrew's frown deepened. "But I could tell you weren't in a position to say anything… you were still stuck on the idea of having a kid period, completely embarrassed that anyone was even talking about this, or that anyone would suggest you have a baby with me."

Cathryn groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, I know, but that isn't the point! It isn't about my ability to respond, but respecting me enough to do it anyway!" Andrew grunted. He supposed she had a point, but it just seemed like a waste of time. Cathryn rolled her eyes. "Andrew, you can't skip respecting other people just because it's convenient. Everyone deserves respect, no matter what."

Andrew glanced at the house, his expression hardening. "What about him? Does he deserve respect?" He spat.

Cathryn froze, before curling in on herself. "He's- he's damaged, in his own way… I'm not saying what he does is right, and I don't think my mom and I deserve to stick around and just take it, but… he's more unhappy with himself than anyone else. He's frustrated, depressed, angry, and there's nothing anyone can do to help him."

"That's not an excuse-" Andrew began.

"I'm not saying it is!" Cathryn snapped, glaring at him. "He is absolutely responsible for his actions, and he could- he should be better, but… I have sympathy for why he thinks he deserves to do what he does."

Andrew stared at her for a moment, before sighing. "Still sounds more like a rabid dog that needs to be put down to me." He grumbled, his Lizard side much more comfortable with the idea of killing someone who 'deserved' to die.

Cathryn hesitated. "Maybe… I've- I've thought about it, what it would be like if he was just gone, so we could be free… hoping that the alcohol would finally get him, and all this would be over… I don't- maybe that's wrong of me, I don't know. It just- it seems like it'd be easier. If he wasn't around."

Andrew paused, glancing towards the house. "I could probably do it, you know… it wouldn't even be hard. I could just take out his core, and- no one would even suspect anything. It'd just look like he died for no reason, confusing, but… the world is full of mysteries. What's one more?" In this mindset, he really would do it too. Why not? It'd be better for everyone involved.

Cathryn was stunned, not even sure how to respond, knowing Andrew was serious. Deadly serious. "Andrew, you can't! You- you'd be a murderer! Even if you didn't get caught… I couldn't let you live with something like that on your conscience!"

Andrew snorted bitterly. "I've lived with worse. At least this one actually deserves to die." Andrew turned to Cathryn with a serious look. "Weren't you just talking about how much better your life would be without him? I can give you that! I can make him go away, no pain, no struggle, just… gone."

Cathryn hesitated, biting her lip, before shaking her head. "No. I- I can't… He's still- maybe- maybe he could get better… one day."

Andrew watched her with a sad expression. "Will you really allow him to continue hurting you, just on the hope that 'one day' he might change?"

Cathryn paused. "No. No, I won't. But I don't need him to die to keep him from hurting me either… I'll- I'll leave. Go my own way." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I- I'm going to stop helping, stop enabling this situation. If- if my mom still stays, still allows him to treat her this way… that's her decision. I won't put myself through it anymore."

Andrew glanced at her, before nodding. "I can help with that too, whenever you're ready."