"Why are we not making camp again?" Thomas complained as the four of them continued to trudge through the Northern Wastes in the dark.

"Well, for one, Chris's 'four day' trip did not account for breaks, and secondly, none of us actually need to sleep, so…" Greg shrugged.

"Well sure, but it's dark!" Thomas retorted.

"If I have to put up with the sun all day, you can deal with the dark for the night." Chris countered.

Thomas sighed. "Can't I just wait in Chris's world?"

Greg shook his head. "That would defeat the point. We're doing this so that the World has a chance to actually make things happen in a minor way, rather than simply knocking us over the head with some big thing out of nowhere. The more active we are, the more the World can do, and the better prepared we'll be. At least, that's my theory."

"Sure, I get that, but you're already walking out here, so what difference does it make whether or not I'm walking next to yo-" Thomas cut off with a yelp as he suddenly disappeared through the ice.

"Okay, I know I called this one." Greg turned to Chris. "I did call this one, right?"

"It's more of a hole than a crevice…" Chris muttered.

Greg rolled his eyes. "Same difference. Called it."

"Would you guys shut up and get me out of here already!" Thomas shouted up as he felt around the pit he'd fallen into. "Stupid jerks getting distracted all the fucking-" Thomas grumbled, cutting off as he felt something furry. "What the-" He began, cutting off again as the fur whimpered, trying to pull away from him, but the pit didn't leave it anywhere to actually go. "Uh… hi?" Thomas tried tentatively, before suddenly yelping as the wall behind him disappeared and he rolled out onto the ground.

"Hey, Thomas." Chris greeted him.

"Damn it, Chris!" Thomas groaned. "A little warning would have been nice!"

"Didn't you get hit by the rock I threw down? How did you think we were going to get you out?" Chris cocked his head, frowning slightly.

"So, what was in the hole? Some ancient relic?" Greg asked, looking through the portal. "Or a muppet." He frowned as he reached through to pull out the furry creature that'd been in the pit with Thomas. "Huh…" He cocked his head as the creature struggled weakly, examining it closely. "Well, a sick muppet in any case."

They all gathered around to study the creature that was absolutely covered in sores, wounds, and matted fur. "The poor thing." Andrew muttered, reaching out to pet it before flinching back as it let out a panicked cry, redoubling its struggles to get away. "Can we heal it?"

"Sure, just toss it in." Chris offered, changing the portal so it led to his world.

"Wait, let me." Greg interjected. "I want to test something anyway." He added as he brought out some smoke and sent it into the little muppet. He watched as the smoke automatically fixed the injuries as it connected, adjusting them just like it did when he used it to shapeshift. "Interesting." He muttered. That made sense, he supposed. The smoke could control the matter it connected to, so why not just have it automatically adjust it to certain states? Outside of this World, he'd probably have to set those states himself, but it should be possible, right?

Greg was still considering the viability of automatic healing using his smoke outside this World, when his smoke finally reached the brain and he froze. Flashes of memory played through his mind, images of a small tribe living in the desolate wastes, larger furry things taking care of him, keeping him happy and safe, and then- Greg's eyes widened at the memory of a mushroom cloud, and then life got worse and worse. The tribe getting sick, fighting with each other, running and running until he couldn't run anymore, before burying himself and hiding as he got weaker and weaker, until… something fell on him. "Huh." Greg blinked, looking down at the little muppet who was looking back up at him in wide-eyed shock. He turned to the others. "I think… This guy was experiencing nuclear fallout?"

"Nuclear fallout?" Thomas raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Really?"

"Well, he has memories of a mushroom cloud and then everyone getting sick, so… yeah, nuclear fallout." Greg nodded.

"That can't be good." Andrew frowned. "Who would be using nukes up here?"

"Anyone interested in testing somewhere they wouldn't hurt a bunch of people?" Chris offered. "I mean, nukes are like… really bad, aren't they? Probably wouldn't want to test them anywhere close to home."

"Sure, but why?" Greg asked, with a slight frown. "I mean, nukes are freaking bullshit, but I'm pretty sure people in the higher levels are more so. Nukes are an instant of pure destruction and years of ecological damage afterwards, but anyone at a high enough level can probably pull off a similar level of destruction with a few punches, without the ecological damage." He shook his head. "I mean, you should have seen the attacks they were throwing at the Ruin… absolutely insane!"

"Just because they already have the capacity to cause mass destruction doesn't mean they aren't interested in another. Besides, maybe they want ecological damage." Chris shrugged.

Greg paused. "Well, that's fair." He nodded, turning back to the muppet. "So what should we do with this little guy?"

"We already healed him, so… put him back in his hole?" Chris suggested.

The muppet let out a small screech, latching onto Greg and shaking his head. Greg blinked down at it, before turning back to Chris. "I'm gonna go with no on that one." Greg chuckled.

"He is pretty cute." Andrew commented. "You know, now that he's no longer dying."

"True." Thomas nodded. "Sorry for falling on you, you little fuzzball." He gave the muppet's head a rub, before pulling back as he bared some very sharp teeth at him.

Chris frowned at the muppet. "Just how smart is he? Did he understand me?"

Greg paused. "Did he? Oh, wait, he's connected to my smoke, right? He's probably sharing my translation trait."

Chris cocked his head, before shrugging. "Fair enough. Just toss him into my world and let's keep going."

The muppet screeched again, but Greg quickly calmed him down. "Hey, don't worry. The world is where we live. You'll be safe there, okay?" He assured him, sending thoughts of safety and comfort to him, before pausing. "Actually, I'm just going to hand you off to my other self." He sighed as he just got more anxious feelings from the muppet. "Can you open a portal to him?" He asked Chris. Chris nodded and the portal changed again, leading to Greg's other self who quickly took the muppet before the portal closed. "Alright, that's settled, so… who wants to go check out a nuclear wasteland?" Greg asked with a grin.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

"Do we still have to walk?" Thomas asked.

Greg cocked his head. "Probably?"

Thomas sighed. "Damn it."

*

"Okay, Muppet, what do you eat?" Greg asked, frowning down at the muppet, who grinned at him with a mouth full of sharp teeth. "I'm guessing meat. Bloody meat? Cooked meat? Doesn't matter?" Muppet cocked his head, frowning slightly. "Maybe I should talk to someone who actually knows what you are…" He muttered, rubbing his neck with a sigh. "Gloria?" He wondered, before shaking his head. They'd only just had their date, plus she would probably be busy… even if she wasn't, he should give her enough space to think things over. "Wait, Allison has that status reading thing!" He snapped his fingers in realization, grabbing Muppet and heading to the common area. "Allison! I need your help!"

"Why do- why do you have a fucking Troll!?!" She exclaimed, as he walked in, jumping to her feet.

Greg blinked, looking down at Muppet. "You're a Troll?" Muppet just blinked back at him. "Well you're an adorable Troll, yes you are!" He cooed, causing the little furball to giggle, before pausing. "Maybe I should stop treating you like a pet though… shit, did I just adopt a kid?"

"That isn't a child, it's a monster!" Allison retorted.

"Hey!" Greg snapped. "Don't call Muppet a monster!"

"That's literally what it is!" Allison protested. "It is a monstrous race!"

Greg paused. "Well, he's my monster, so there."

"Dere!" Muppet nodded in agreement.

"Aww, his first word." Greg chuckled.

Allison shuddered. "Look, I know you guys are weird, but you can't just keep a baby from a monstrous race! They're dangerous!"

"More dangerous than we are?" Greg raised an eyebrow.

Allison hesitated. "I mean… no? But that doesn't change the fact that they are dangerous! You only need one monster to start an infestation! One monster preys on one noble race and dozens of monsters are born, all of which grow to maturity in a matter of months, before spreading and doing the same thing again and again! It only takes one!"

Greg paused, before holding Muppet up and giving him a stern look. "Don't do that." He ordered seriously. Then he blinked. "Wait, months?"

"That creature will be a fully grown death machine before you know it!" Allison growled.

"Outstanding." Greg grinned, and Muppet giggled.

Allison groaned, burying her face in her hands. "We are so screwed."

*

It took a few days to make their way deeper into the Wastes, finding more and more evidence of the nuke as they went. Mostly bodies. Lots of bodies. It was becoming pretty obvious that Muppet was one lucky little Troll to have survived as long as he had, or he had been protected somehow. "You know, I'm beginning to think something about Trolls actually exacerbated this." Chris commented as they went. "See, the further we go, the older and bigger they get. The older ones should be the stronger ones, right? So something they do naturally is probably letting whatever happened kill them faster. Muppet got the furthest because he was the youngest and weakest. Theoretically."

"Like the Spanish Flu?" Andrew cocked his head. "It did something that caused people's immune system to turn against them, so people with stronger immune systems were actually in more danger."

"Well, radiation causes mutations, right?" Thomas offered. "Not the beneficial kind, but flaws in the cell replication process… like cancer. A pretty classic trope for Trolls is increased regeneration, which means more chances for cells to divide, which means more opportunities for mutation, so the stronger their regeneration, the faster the radiation kills them… right?"

"Isn't a stronger regeneration just a factor of being a higher level?" Greg frowned. "Wouldn't that make radiation the ultimate elite killer?"

Chris shook his head. "That sounds like too much of a cheat… there's probably some protective factor that high levels get that Trolls miss out on."

"Is that another feeling?" Greg asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean… more of an insight?" Chris shrugged. "Worlds want people to get powerful, so having something that specifically targets powerful people seems… off to me. Something that makes things dangerous maybe, but nothing absolute."

Greg shook his head. "Well, you are usually right about this kind of stuff… still, if people are testing a weapon that's even dangerous to higher level people… well, I suppose the question is who's actually doing it. If it's the noble races, that's concerning, but not really something we need to concern ourselves about. Monstrous races… that's a bit more worrying, bearing a bit more investigation. And if it's some splinter group or something… that probably needs to be dealt with."

Andrew frowned. "I don't think we'd need to worry about the monstrous races. They have absolutely zero interest in destroying the noble races, which is all nukes would do. They're more interested in subduing the nobles races, because to them, noble races are a resource. It'd be like nuking a herd of cows or something. Completely pointless." He paused, his expression twisting as he remembered the Raiders that had hit his tribe. "I'd actually be more worried about the noble races. They have no issue trying to wipe out the monstrous races."

"Well… can you really blame them?" Thomas shrugged. "I mean, if there were people out there whose very existence relied on victimizing me and mine, I wouldn't exactly be shy about trying to get rid of them."

"Kinda gotta agree with Thomas on that one." Greg sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to say we need to kill all the monsters, obviously. Muppet is a good boy. But the moment you make that decision to take someone else's life for your own gain, you're wrong. Monsters can exist, but that doesn't give them the right to victimize anyone else."

Andrew shook his head. "Could you let your people die out just to save a few strangers?"

"Well… maybe not, but that still doesn't make it right." Greg shrugged.

Chris frowned. "We already had this conversation. It's something that is understandable, but still morally wrong. Though, I think on some level survival is the ultimate morality… or rather, after a certain point, morality is more of a luxury than a requirement. Yes, you're wrong, but at least you'll be there to be wrong, you know? Or maybe at some point you have to admit that you do see certain people as more important than others, and equality is a myth. Or at least a premise that you don't necessarily have to buy into."

"So… either way, I'm still allowed to advocate for the genocide of mosters, yeah?" Thomas asked.

"You're literally the one with the thing that lets people change themselves so they don't have to be monsters." Andrew scowled at him.

"Yeah, but you know, ignoring that." Thomas waved dismissively. "For the sake of judging the noble races for potentially nuking the monstrous races."

"I mean, we do have an alternate solution, so… we would still need to stop them." Greg pointed out. "But yeah, other than that, not sure if I could really blame them."

"Subjectively, you can blame anyone for anything, as long as it runs contrary to your personal wants and desires." Chris pointed out. "It'd be really selfish, but you can do it."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you championing selfishness." Andrew frowned.

"I'm not sure I care." Chris replied with a slight grin.

Andrew turned to the others. "You guys see the problem with this, right?"

Greg and Thomas shared a look. "What problem?" Greg asked, suppressing a grin.

"Yeah, Chris never cares. What's the issue?" Thomas shrugged.

Andrew scowled at them. "Not the caring, the selfishness!"

"Okay then… Chris is always selfish, what's the issue?" Thomas repeated, snickering slightly.

"No he-" Andrew cut off, frowning slightly. "Is he?"

"Of course I am." Chris nodded. "Now, let's go see who's playing with nukes. For selfish reasons."