“I think Helga is my new favorite person.” Victoria sighed, not sounding particularly happy about the statement.
Greg raised an eyebrow. “Why do I not believe you?”
Victoria shook her head. “It feels like loving your plumber. You're absolutely grateful for everything they do, but ultimately, it's shit work and you really kinda wish it didn't need to be done.”
“So… you want me to handle this one?” Greg gestured to the man bound by Chris's world material, grunting and struggling as he watched them in wide-eyed horror.
“No, I’ll deal with him.” Victoria waved him off, sending her points at the man. With the information Helga had provided, they'd been slowly removing the worst individuals occupying Callowa and taking turns dealing with them, since none of them actually had any idea what the ‘right’ way to deal with them was. “Let's see… you like to cook and eat people alive, huh? So let's make you feel like you're burning alive and crank up your sensitivity so everything you touch feels like someone is tearing off your skin.” Victoria was a big believer in fitting the punishment to the crime. She waved as she finished. “Alright Chris, put him with the rest.”
The man disappeared as Greg chuckled. “That's a good one. I'm honestly running out of ideas for mine. My only options are pretty much just transforming them into various disgusting animals, and I'm running out of ideas. I mean, I turned the last guy into a barnacle.”
“You could try turning them into the monsters they are.” Victoria suggested.
Greg blinked. “What's so bad about being a monster?”
Victoria rolled her eyes. “How about giving them glass bones or something?”
Greg clicked his tongue. “Wouldn't work. They'd just change back to normal once they die.”
“But they'd still die.” Victoria pointed out. “Painfully. And then you can do it again.”
Greg raised an eyebrow, before shrugging. “I'll think about it.”
Chris appeared next to them. “I finished clearing the place out. You're up.”
“Ah, my favorite part!” Greg clapped with a grin, making a camera as screens and speakers formed over Callowa again. “Get Andrew over here.”
Chris grunted as Andrew appeared. “Hey- fuck, another one?” Andrew groaned as he saw the camera. “Can't you do this without me?”
“Hey, when we give the people an announcement from the Eternals, it has to be from all the Eternals.” Greg replied. “You don't want people thinking you don't support what we're doing, right?”
“All I do is stand here.” Andrew grumbled, crossing his arms.
“And that's all we need.” Greg smirked, patting him on the shoulder. “Alright, everyone in position? Three, two, one… Ahem, attention people of Callowa!” He began as the screens turned on. “It appears that you all still haven't gotten the message. If you do bad things, we are coming for you.” The screen split in two, one side showing a dilapidated warehouse, while the other showed the man from before as he writhed in agony. “This guy thought he could get away by hiding his indiscretions in the slums. As you can see, it didn't work out for him.” The screen switched back to Greg. “How many times do we have to do this before you people learn we aren't going to let this behavior stand? So how about you all just stop being assholes so we don't have to do this shit anymore!” Greg sighed, shaking his head. “Alright, you've been warned. Repeatedly. See you all next time.”
“And again, why did I have to be here for that?” Andrew complained.
“For solidarity!” Greg exclaimed. “And also because it bothers you so, so much. But mostly for solidarity.” Andrew glared at him for a moment. “Oh come on, what else would you be doing? This at least gets your face out there so people might actually recognize you.”
“I don't want to be recognized!” Andrew retorted. “I like being able to walk around and be treated like a regular guy!”
“You can always change what you look like.” Greg waved dismissively.
“I'll change what you look like.” Andrew grumbled under his breath.
“That reminds me, Jade wanted me to let you know the girls from the Seamstress Club are wondering when you're going to stop by again.” Chris commented. “Apparently they have a bunch of new designs they need modeled.”
Andrew blinked. “They- what?”
“They want to know when you're going to stop by again.” Chris repeated.
“They want me to stop by again?” Andrew asked hesitantly.
“I would assume since they asked about it.” Chris shrugged.
“What's this about the Seamstress Club?” Greg asked, looking between the two of them curiously. “Isn't that no-man land?”
“I wouldn't recommend going there to flirt, but as long as you have a good reason to be there, you shouldn't have any issues.” Chris replied.
“Okay, so what reason would Andrew have to go there?” Greg asked.
“Oh, Jade wanted to check it out, but she ended up sitting in the corner because she was too nervous so I sent him over to give the others a reason to approach her.” Chris explained. “It worked rather well.”
“Wait, why didn't you send me! I'm a much better ice breaker than Andrew!” Greg protested.
“He was looking for something to do, and while you would have gotten the women talking, I don't think it would be as… positive as it was with Andrew.” Chris commented.
Greg paused. “Well, that's fair.” He turned to Andrew. “So… did you meet a girl?”
“He met four.” Chris answered for him.
“I did not!” Andrew retorted. “I mean, I did… but then Chris ruined it by telling them all I was an Eternal.”
“If I ruined it, why are they asking about you?” Chris countered.
“I- don't know.” Andrew frowned. He was sure they'd all been thrown off after talking to him and Chris. He shook his head. “But it isn't like I can just stop by the Seamstress Club.”
“Why not?” Chris cocked his head. “They're inviting you.”
“They can't actually mean that.” Andrew frowned. “They're probably just teasing or something?”
“I don't think they'd get Jade to tell me to tell you something just to tease you.” Chris muttered, not quite sure of that himself.
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“Maybe it's a ‘hey, remind him we exist’ kinda thing?” Greg offered thoughtfully. “Like, they don't expect him to go back, but they do want to see him again? And since he isn't exactly seeable, this is the only method they have available to them?”
“That makes sense…” Victoria nodded, before letting out a sigh. “It's a wonder any of us ever get into relationships. We're terrible at this.”
“Eh, we suck at the finding of the person. Once we have them, I think we do just fine.” Greg chuckled.
Andrew sighed. “Can we just drop this for now? How about we talk about the joint demonstration of the three major sects? Are we going to show up for that?”
Greg grinned at Andrew's deflection. “Sure, why not? It should be fun, right?”
“No, I mean should we set up a demonstration of our own.” Andrew clarified. “Show off what we're capable of, see if we can get a few more recruits?”
Greg cocked his head. “That- is a good question… probably? I mean, we'd probably piss off the sects, but they're already super pissed off at us, so that hardly matters. The question is what do we demonstrate? Us or our disciples?”
“Well, all our best disciples are infiltrating the sects, so I'd say us.” Chris pointed out. “Besides, we're the selling point. Our techniques are kind of… nonexistent.”
Victoria frowned. “So we do what? Kill ourselves a few times? Do a few tasks? Doesn't sound all that impressive.”
“Hm, good point.” Greg muttered. “What can we do that's really impressive? Wait, not impressive, showy. We need pizazz!”
“Define showy?” Chris asked seriously.
Greg blew out a breath. “Oof, good question. Something explosive? Or rhythmic? I've always been impressed by large ensembles doing synchronized performances… but I can't see how the core benefits of our sect can be packaged that way.”
“We could explode my subordinates in a synchronized, rhythmic fashion.” Chris offered.
“Ha!” Greg laughed.
“No.” Andrew immediately shot the idea down. “The members of the sect are toys we can torture for our own amusement.”
Chris frowned. “What's torturous about exploding?”
Victoria sighed. “Andrew's right, that isn't an option.” She considered their options for a moment. “I honestly think our best move might be to just show up and not show off. Just sit there and make it clear the sects can do anything about it.”
“Oh ho ho, I like it!” Greg grinned. “We're here to enjoy the show. Don't like it? Too bad!”
Victoria nodded. “And once they fail, anything they do to show off will only make the fact that we can ignore them even more impressive! We'd use their prestige to raise our own!”
“Andrew will have to just shut down some elite Cultivator at some point.” Greg added.
Andrew groaned. “Why me?”
“Because you can?” Greg replied, raising an eyebrow at him. “No one else can just flick their aura and shut down a person's entire life. And it's probably the most impressive thing we can pull off without killing someone.”
“He's not wrong.” Chris agreed, Victoria nodding along.
Andrew grimaced. “I guess.”
“Alright, we have a plan!” Greg clapped, grinning evilly. “I can't wait to see the look on Jocelyn's face.”
*
Andrew hesitated as he returned to the city, glancing in the direction of the Seamstress Club. Should he head over there? They couldn't actually want him to visit, could they? He found it hard to believe they even wanted to see him. But if they did… there weren't really any options other than the Seamstress Club. So should he go? Andrew kept hesitating, incapable of making a decision either way, until he buried his face in his hands, letting out a frustrated groan. He didn't even know if he wanted to see them! Or rather, he didn't know which of them he wanted to see. Because obviously he wanted to see one of them, or he wouldn't be struggling with this decision, but who? Gisela? Penelope? Winnie? Yvonne?
Andrew sighed. He honestly couldn't tell. It could be any of them! Or all of them… Andrew grimaced. Fuck he sucked. Why did he have to choose between people?!? Everyone had their own thing that made them special! He didn't know the girls all that well, but so far he could tell that Gisela had a matter of fact, smirky quality to her, Penelope was a bit of a firecracker, Winnie was sweet as anything, and Yvonne had a good head on her shoulders, all qualities he enjoyed. All four were interesting in different ways, and he couldn't help but want to pursue all of them. Because he fucking sucked. Ultimately he knew he needed to just man up and go for one of them, but how does anyone actually make a choice like that? How do you choose between four equally interesting women?
“If you don't go, I'm just going to send you there.” Chris commented, appearing next to him.
Andrew scowled. “Why do you even care?”
“Because watching you complain about having no one to hang out with while there are four people explicitly seeking your company annoys me.” Chris explained. “It's absolutely idiotic, and I won't have it happen in my world.”
Andrew groaned. “But if I hang out with them I'll have to make decisions and I don't know what decision I want to make!”
“Why do you have to decide anything?” Chris raised an eyebrow at him. “You're just hanging out.”
“Because I can't keep hanging out with them at the Seamstress Club, which means I'll have to invite someone to hang out elsewhere, and I have no idea who that someone would be.” Andrew sighed.
“Why not just invite all of them?” Chris frowned.
“Because that would make me a piece of shit.” Andrew grumbled.
“I think you're making a bigger deal of this than it has to be.” Chris shook his head. “All you're saying is that you enjoy their company and want to keep hanging out. That's it.”
Andrew rolled his eyes. “Chris, guys don't hang out with women for no reason. Anyone I invite will think I'm interested in pursuing something with them. And they'd be right, because I am interested in pursuing something with them! But if I try to pursue all of them, I'm a piece of shit!”
“Why?” Chris asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “It isn't like you haven't been with multiple women before.”
Andrew grimaced. “I ended up with both Cathryn and Jing because I'd already chosen Jing and the Bond forced me to choose Cathryn. Don't get me wrong, I love the both of them and wouldn't give either one up for anything, but in no World do I think being with multiple women is a good idea. Do I think it can work? Sure, obviously. But pursuing it is like… you know those cars that are really loud but can't move for shit? Like it's something you want, but ultimately there's no actual benefit in having it except to show off to everyone else that you have it, which, you know, is shitty. But you know, if it's the car you have, you aren't going to go and buy a new car over it, cause it's still a car.”
“Sure, I get that for most people, but for us? Hasn't your relationship with Cathryn and Li Jing gotten better since you got multiple bodies?” Chris pointed out.
“Well, yeah, but that's because the relationship was already working and multiple bodies helped ease the tension.” Andrew replied. “Like why don't you pursue other people in Maze World or System World?”
“Because I don't want to.” Chris shrugged. “I'm only interested in being with Beth in Maze World and Quinn in System World. I honestly would have been satisfied with just being with Beth if I didn't feel the need to actually care about other Worlds.”
Andrew blinked. “So if you were interested in other women, you'd pursue them?”
“After discussing it with Beth and Quinn first, yes.” Chris nodded. “As long as all parties are satisfied, what's the problem?”
Andrew frowned at him for a moment, before letting out a groan. “Damn it, now I don't know what to think!”
Chris shrugged. “It's your life, do what makes you happy. You want to dedicate yourself to one woman? Do it. You want to be with as many as you can? Do that. All that really matters is that you're satisfied with the decisions you've made.”
Andrew considered it for a moment, before shaking his head. “At the moment, if I pursued all of them, I'd feel shitty.”
“Then don't do that.” Chris replied.
“That still leaves me with a decision I don't know how to make.” Andrew grimaced.
Chris cocked his head. “Take a night to think about it? They'll be there tomorrow.”
“That's what I was doing before you showed up and demanded I go there!” Andrew threw up his hands in frustration.
“No, you were standing in the middle of the street not making a decision.” Chris retorted. “If you'd decided to spend the night thinking about it, you'd have headed home.”
Andrew glared at him for a moment. “Victoria was right. You suck.” He grumbled bitterly.