Novels2Search
A Suspicious Lack of Horses
Seventy-three - Bait

Seventy-three - Bait

"Ah, I've missed you, sturdy, sturdy trees!" Greg exclaimed, hugging a tree and filling it with smoke as he drew deeply from its vitality.

"Uh, Greg?" Andrew coughed, pointing at the rapidly yellowing leaves of the tree.

Greg blinked as leaves began to rain down around him. "Okay, so, maybe not that sturdy." He muttered, reducing his drain on the tree with a sigh. "Still, better than other plants." He gave a nearby patch of grass a glare.

"Can't you do your thing from anywhere?" Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Why haven't you just visited a forest somewhere and done this earlier?"

"Well, for one, shut up. And two, I've been busy! Do you know how many crafting skills I've merged over the past few weeks? I got a trait for it!" Greg retorted.

Andrew blinked. "You did?"

"Yeah, just this morning." Greg grinned. "Check it, it's called Creator." He pulled up the description and sent it to the rest of them.

"Five points per attribute per tier!?!" Andrew exclaimed incredulously. "That's bullshit!"

"I mean, getting it cost me like a hundred skill points, so I'm pretty sure I'm actually losing out on it." Greg shrugged. "I never bothered to count them all up, but all those skills would probably have gotten me like four hundred or so attribute points per level, while this just gets me a hundred and twenty."

"You could probably help Daniel with this." Chris commented.

"Who now?" Greg blinked, cocking his head.

"My new friend. From yesterday, remember." Chris explained.

"That is still bullshit." Thomas grumbled.

"It isn't my fault you guys are bad at making friends." Chris shrugged.

"You didn't make a friend! You did a speed run of Stockholm syndrome!" Thomas retorted.

"But I got the points." Chris pointed out.

"You're about to get my foot up your ass." Thomas growled.

"Stockholm syndrome, really?" Andrew added skeptically.

"He got the dude so scared of who he was and what he could do that he'd basically do anything!" Thomas explained. "What was it you called yourself again? An 'outer god'? Why would you even make something like that up?"

Chris cocked his head. "I didn't? Outer gods are a thing."

The other three turned to him, blinking incredulously. "I'm sorry, what?" Andrew asked.

"Did Quinn not tell you about them?" Chris frowned. "No, no she didn't… eh, they aren't actually all that relevant anyway. Every now and then one of their incarnations will pop up and start causing chaos until someone manages to get rid of it. The biggest issue with them is that they don't exactly have goals, they just do shit. One might destroy a town while another might get really into baking or something."

"Baking?" Greg raised an eyebrow.

Chris nodded. "That one actually happened. Of course, the outer god in question didn't have the best grasp on what should or should not be used as an ingredient… though apparently it was all very delicious as long as you didn't mind risking some light cannibalism."

Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. "And you thought it was appropriate to compare us to these things!?!"

"Well… yeah?" Chris raised an eyebrow. "We're not from around here, we have abilities not granted by the system, and we can't really be killed. Banished, maybe… that might be interesting to test, actually. How would we react to banishing magic?"

"I do feel like an incomprehensible horror sometimes." Andrew muttered, grimacing slightly.

Thomas's expression twisted as he remembered what he'd done to the boss. "Yeah, me too."

Chris and Greg shared a look. "Well, that's enough of that." Greg began, clapping his hands. "How about we get a move on. Chris, if you would?"

Chris nodded, waving his hand as Derek appeared, looking nervous, frustrated, and more than a little pissed. Which, to be fair, Chris got. He'd essentially just tossed the dude into a random corner of his world after he'd finished deleting everything he had on Quinn. "What- where is this?!?" He whirled on Chris. "What did you do to me!?! Why- you mind raped me!"

"Now, now. You can't just throw words like that around." Greg chuckled, throwing an arm around Derek's shoulders. "Besides, from what I hear, you should be pretty comfortable with rape, now shouldn't you?" Greg continued in a low, dangerous tone.

Derek froze, gulping slightly, shivers going up his spine. "What- what do you want from me?"

"Oh, nothing much, nothing much." Greg grinned. "You see, Danny-"

"M-my name is Derek." Derek interjected.

"Daniel is the other guy." Thomas added.

"Not important." Greg waved dismissively. "You see, we have a problem. We want to get to the lands of the monstrous races, but we don't want to waste the who knows how many weeks or months it'd take to get there if we walked, you understand? Just not what we're about. We could fly, or let Chris do his arrow travel thing, but those options aren't exactly subtle and this is a highly defended border that people are constantly monitoring for any signs of infiltration. Obviously not very well, since people are apparently getting across rather frequently, but enough that our weird shit is going to get some attention. So that leaves walking, which again, we'd really rather not do. And that's where you come in!"

Derek blinked. "You- you want me to walk all the way through the Great Forest!?!"

"Ha! No, no, no." Greg shook his head. "No, what we're going to do is turn you into a woman and have you wander around until someone captures you, then have them take you over there! There's almost definitely going to be someone with portal magic or something, so it shouldn't take them all that long, and bam, we're there! Good plan, eh?" Greg grinned. "Originally one of us was going to do it, but then you showed up and made yourself all despicable and shit. Really nice of you, I gotta say."

Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

Derek had gone completely pale by this point, looking around as if he was searching for someone, anyone who could save him from these monsters! "You- you can't do this to me! Do you know who I am! My father will make your lives a living hell!"

Greg snorted. "Does it look like we care about what your daddy might do? Besides, you're barely going to be in danger! Worst case scenario, you get a little roughed up, have some unpleasant experiences, and you're home in a week! Not so bad, eh?"

Derek blinked. "You- you'll let me go home?"

"Well, not your home." Greg coughed. "I meant you'll be back here. Since you're connected to Chris's world, letting you run around and cause problems isn't exactly in the cards."

"Then un-connect me!" Derek growled.

"Can't." Chris shrugged. "It's only happened once before, and I'm not even sure how. Feel free to try though."

Derek scowled as he did indeed try, struggling against whatever connection had formed between him and Chris, but no matter how much he struggled, it remained the same, firmly tying him to Chris. Derek groaned as he slumped in defeat. "Why would you do this to me?" He asked helplessly.

Chris frowned. "You tried to blackmail me into abusing Quinn. Despite the fact that I didn't mean to do this, I can say it wasn't justified."

Derek sneered. "That bitch deserves to be taken down a peg!"

Andrew glared at him, before turning to Chris. "You know, I bet I could still kill him, even if he is connected to your world."

"And if that doesn't work, I can adjust his personality until he's completely unrecognizable." Thomas agreed.

Derek went pale again, hesitating for a moment, before turning to Greg. "You- you were going to turn me into a woman?"

Greg grinned. "I knew you'd come around."

*

The newly christened Damselia De'Distressia shifted uncomfortably as the five of them made their way deeper into the Great Forest, looking for a monstrous race raid to toss her at. "This is idiotic." She growled. "Do you honestly think you're going to run into a raiding party just randomly wandering through the woods! Do you know how rare-"

"Found one." Greg interjected, shooting her a grin. "How do you feel about orcs?"

Damselia froze, before letting out a groan. "Does it matter?"

"Nope!" Greg snickered. "Now go act all kidnapable, and shit."

Damselia hesitated, and Chris rolled his eyes. "We already proved you can't die and Thomas can let you wipe out your memory that any of this ever happened. Go."

Damselia scowled. "That doesn't mean I'm okay with any of this shit!"

Chris frowned as he exerted pressure on her. "Go."

Damselia immediately turned and began wandering in the direction of the orcs, letting a panting fearful expression come over her. They'd given her a roughed up appearance, a few light wounds and torn clothing, like she'd gotten lost and had been wandering in the woods for a while. It didn't take long for the orcs to notice and begin to surround her, keeping stealthy until they sprung on her, a mage hitting her with a spell that quickly sent her into unconsciousness.

The orcs surrounded the fallen woman, one of them turning to what looked like the leader. [This… wasn't a trap?] The orc muttered. [What are the odds we'd find a lone woman this weak this deep in the woods?]

The leader frowned, looking around. [We should have sprung it already…]

The entire group continued to stay on guard, looking around warrily. [I don't trust this… should we just leave her?] The mage asked hesitantly.

The leader's expression twisted. [I- no. Let's take her and return. A single woman isn't the best result, but this is too sketchy. I'm worried she'll somehow be able to inform on anything we end up doing. Better to stash her back home and try again later than all of us ending up dead because we got greedy.]

[Boss ain't gonna be happy.] One of the other orcs grumbled.

[The boss can shove it!] The leader growled. [I'm not dying for his quota!] He turned to the mage. [Get us out of here.] He ordered. The mage hesitated for a moment, before nodding and opening a portal for them, the orcs quickly filing through with Damselia carried over one of their shoulders.

"Well, that worked out better than expected." Greg muttered, turning to Chris. "You think the World wants us over there?"

"I have no idea." Chris shrugged.

Thomas scratched his head. "What do we do now?"

"Go back to town?" Andrew offered. "We still need to get to know people, and spending the entire day in the woods isn't going to help with that."

"Okay, but what will help with that?" Greg frowned. "As much as I recognize that Chris's method of 'walk up and talk to someone' worked, I can't help but feel like there's a better way."

"We could throw a party?" Andrew offered.

Chris's expression twisted. "I'm not exactly a fan of parties. People seem to just use them as an excuse to act like assholes."

"Not that kind of party." Andrew shook his head. "More like… a barbecue. Just food and games, maybe some beer, but nothing that would let anyone get super wasted."

Chris cocked his head. "That seems acceptable…"

"And where would we be having this party?" Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The park?" Andrew shrugged. "We just need a big empty space to set up in, then Chris and Greg can take care of the rest."

"We should probably check if we need a permit." Chris commented. "Which means we should probably have a reason for throwing a party."

"I don't think that's necessary." Greg shook his head. "Honestly, we should just start cooking and see who shows up. It's a small town, so they should get pretty curious if a group of strangers just sets up in the park and starts cooking."

Chris frowned for a moment, before shrugging. "If you say so." He paused. "Should we invite the people from the base? Let them get out and stretch their legs for a bit?"

"We should definitely invite the people from the base." Thomas nodded. "In fact, we should probably look into getting a permanent residence in town for our people to stay at… if we're looking to recruit, the best advertising is probably people who've already been recruited, plus it'd give them a way to get out of base when they need to."

"We did just get a large sum of money we could use for that." Andrew nodded in agreement. "Though we should probably look for some alternative revenue streams. Diversify our assets and all that."

Greg cocked his head. "I suppose I could start actually selling some of the things I've been making…"

"Annie's been looking to get back into crafting as well." Thomas offered. "So have a lot of the others… well, the assistants at least."

"The rest of us, along with the soldiers, should probably look into hunting and patrolling the area." Andrew nodded.

"I can do some healer work as well." Chris added.

"So, our business would be Crafts, Medicine, and Mercenaries?" Greg snickered.

"I think we can still call it the Eternal Army." Thomas rolled his eyes.

"Or the Eternal Shop." Chris offered.

"Eternal Crafts, Medicine, and Mercenaries?" Andrew offered, kinda liking the name.

"That- actually sort of works." Thomas nodded.

Chris shrugged. "Names aren't really my thing."

"It's settled then!" Greg exclaimed. "Let's go open the first branch of Eternal Crafts, Medicine, and Mercenaries! And then… let's throw a party!"