The rest of the day went well, Thomas getting another thousand points even though they only hunted four today. He was getting better at subduing the Rune Beasts to drain their cores before they killed themselves. Victoria's day had gone pretty well as well, though her cultivation had stalled as she worked on remaining focused on her Rune all day. She could tell it'd take a while before she could reliably maintain her focus on the Rune while doing other things. She wasn't terribly concerned, however, since with the points from Thomas, her cultivation wasn't in any danger of falling behind. At the rate he was gathering points, there was a good chance she'd end up in the Circulatory realm by the time of the sect entrance exam… or at least, she'd have the points to get there. She didn't need the entire world of cultivation wondering how she'd reached the Circulatory realm just a few months after Awakening. She was weird enough as it was.

Thomas ended the day with some awkward interactions with Jade, letting her know he'd probably have a house by tomorrow, while pointedly refusing to let her into his room, leaving her very confused. He was probably going to have to deal with the ball of complicated misunderstandings he just knew was swirling around in that head of hers, but he figured it'd be best to handle it after he got her in a more… stable environment. Or it'd make the problem worse… how the fuck did he keep ending up in these complicated bullshit situations? Can't a man overtip in peace? Grumbling about the law of unintended consequences, he went to bed, hoping nothing managed to overcomplicate his attempts to buy a house tomorrow, giving Victoria the mental stink eye as she spent her night cuddling with Beatrice.

Thomas's hopes were almost immediately dashed as he arrived at the Barracks the next day to find the same attendant as yesterday waiting for him, her appearance noticeably… enhanced from the previous day. It was subtle, a slightly nicer dress, some light makeup, a few pieces of jewelry, but in contrast to her appearance yesterday, it was clear she had put in some effort to look good for today. "Ah, Thomas, there you are." She greeted him with a smile as he arrived. "I believe I've found several homes you might be interested in, ranging from forty-four silver, to four gold in price. Shall we start from the highest or lowest?"

Thomas blinked. "Why not the closest?"

The attendant paused, cocking her head. "Well, I suppose that works too. This way then."

Thomas shook his head, following her out, hoping that her dressing up didn't indicate the interest he thought it might. Not that he was opposed to it, he supposed… The attendant was interesting, in a way. A little quirky, obviously good at her job… It just seemed like Thomas already had quite a few women circling around him at the moment, and he wasn't all that interested in adding another. Not that he was actually interested in any of the others… Elena and her group just needed some help, and Jade… needed a different sort of help. Thomas shook his head. Maybe he should just stop helping people, eh? Or else find some men who needed help… Thomas paused. Whatever happened to Wilson? They'd only talked once, but that dude definitely needed help, if only to keep him from developing a crush on literally every damn soldier in the castle. Probably more of a Victoria thing than a him thing, though.

Thomas glanced over at the attendant, as they'd been walking in silence for a bit now. "So, uh… I actually never got your name, did I?" Thomas frowned.

The attendant turned to smirk at him. "It's Jessica."

There was a hitch in Thomas's step, his expression twisting as the name tore through his heart like an ice cold needle, before starting to burn, filling him with a mix of grief and rage. He stopped walking, briefly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to get himself back under control, confusion rising as he wondered why it'd hit him so hard. He'd thought about her a few times in the last couple days, particularly since he was back to being Thomas, and it hadn't affected him like this… not that he didn't still miss her, but he'd felt like the wound was growing… numb. Yet all of the sudden it felt fresh again, all because he'd met a woman with the same name? Why?!?

Jessica frowned, shooting him a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

Thomas grinned bitterly, shaking his head. "I'm fine." He rasped in a rough tone, before coughing to clear his throat. "I'm fine." He stated much more clearly. "Just- your name brought back some… uncomfortable memories."

She continued to stare at him, the concern in her eyes only deepening. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Thomas shook his head again. "No, it's alright." He started walking again, shoving the emotions away for the moment. "Let's go see these houses, eh?" He continued, shooting her a forced grin.

Jessica continued to look at him, obviously still concerned, but also recognizing they weren't actually that close, so she couldn't really pry. "Very well." She nodded, taking the lead again. Thomas was still in a bit of a funk, so he barely even registered the first few houses she showed him. They looked nice, of course, but all he could say was that they looked like houses. They had rooms, there was a courtyard, that's all he had. After the fourth house where Thomas barely even registered the features she continually pointed out as they walked through, Jessica let out a defeated sigh. "How about we stop somewhere for lunch? I know a nice restaurant nearby. My treat."

Thomas blinked at her, before shrugging. "Sure, I could eat."

Jessica gave him a frustrated look, before sighing again and leading the way to the restaurant. They were quickly seated and she ordered for the both of them, before turning a serious look on Thomas. "Thomas, I'm- I can't comment on what you're going through, but it's clear you aren't in a state to look at houses today. I believe it would be best for you to take the rest of the day to… work through whatever you're dealing with, and try again tomorrow."

Thomas just blinked at her blankly once again, before letting out a weary sigh. "You're probably right." It was honestly frustrating. Her name shouldn't be hitting him this hard! There was no reason for it! But no matter how much he tried to shove the feelings away, he just felt… empty. Like there was a pit in his chest and all he wanted to do was fill it, but he had no idea how.

Jessica continued to give him a look, hesitating for a moment, before continuing. "I would like to suggest… that you don't try to handle this alone. When dealing with loss, it's best to remind yourself of what you do have, particularly the close friends in your life."

Thomas snorted. What close friends did he have in this life? What close friends had he had in his previous life?!? He'd had Jessica… and now Beatrice, of course. But other than that? He'd had people he was friendly with, sure. Amber, Declan… Ursa, Tiffany… but he wouldn't call those relationships close. They enjoyed each other's company, but that was about it. He wouldn't go to them for comfort, and while he wouldn't object if they came to him for comfort, he wouldn't exactly feel comfortable with it. And while Victoria could, and had, gone to Beatrice for comfort, Thomas didn't have that option. He was just… alone. It was a cruel example of why he'd maintained his life as Victoria in the first place. Victoria had parents, a family, people who cared about her, even after what happened. Thomas… Thomas didn't.

"If you need someone-" Jessica began, hesitantly reaching across the table, before cutting off as Thomas pulled away.

"I'll be fine." Thomas muttered. "Honestly, I'm pretty self-sufficient. And I think- I think I need some… distance. To get away from the memories." Part of the problem was that every time he looked at this woman, the name Jessica would echo through his mind again. It was probably- definitely stupid, but he needed to take some time to unassociate the two.

Jessica nodded stiffly, the rest of the meal proceeding in awkward silence as the two ate, before saying their goodbyes and planning on trying again at the same time tomorrow. Thomas made his way back to Jade's bar, sending Ursa a message that he'd be taking tomorrow off as well, before locking himself in his room and lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as his thoughts whirled in circles endlessly. Half the time was spent reflecting on his time with Jessica, focusing on the little things he missed. Her smile, the way her eyebrow would crook at him when he did something weird, the way she listened to him patiently as he explained why he'd done the weird thing, the feel of her curled up next to him… then his thoughts would turn again, calculating the chances he'd ever find something like that again. Even with Beatrice… she loved him- well, she loved Victoria, but- it was different.

The two of them… they valued each other, sure. They cared about each other, supported each other, enjoyed each other… Victoria could honestly say that if she spent the rest of her life with Beatrice, she'd be happy. It was just- Thomas frowned as he tried to figure out the difference. With him and Jessica, it was like they just fit. It made sense for them to be together. But with Beatrice… it wasn't that they fit, it was more… dedication. They worked because they wanted it to work. They both chose each other and did their best to care for each other, and… it worked. It definitely worked, but… it wasn't special. If Thomas found someone else who was a good person and just as dedicated to him as Beatrice was, he'd be just as happy. That wasn't bad, he supposed. Being dedicated to each other was the most important part of a relationship. But he couldn't deny that it lacked a certain… spark. Thomas's relationship with Jessica just sort of happened. It was natural. However, Victoria's relationship with Beatrice was more… crafted. She'd worked at it, and if she didn't work at it, it'd fail. Not that he hadn't had to put in work for his relationship with Jessica… all relationships take work, it was just-

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

A knock on the door broke Thomas out of the cycle of comparing the two significant relationships he'd had back and forth, not really getting anywhere with it. As Thomas got up, he reflected on some final thoughts. It wasn't that both relationships weren't good, they were. It was just… he felt like he could build a relationship like the one he had with Beatrice with almost anyone, as long as they were on board, but he couldn't make what he'd had with Jessica… he pretty much had to luck into that. Sighing and shaking his head, Thomas opened the door to find Jade holding a tray full of food. "You brought me food?" Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Jade froze. "I- they told me you'd already returned and- it-it's getting late- I just… I thought you'd be hungry." She explained, flushing awkwardly as she continued.

Thomas shook his head, smiling lightly as he stepped aside. "Come on in."

Jade ducked her head, quickly stepping inside and placing the food on the small end table, before turning back to Thomas. "S-so… did- did you find a house?"

Thomas shook his head again as he walked over, sitting on the bed and starting to pick at the food. "No. I- it- it wasn't a good day for it." He explained with a sigh.

Jade cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"It was just-" Thomas began, before letting out another sigh and giving in to his urge to vent. "Jade, have you ever lost someone? Someone special to you?"

Jade blinked at the sudden question. "I- my- my mom? But… she died when I was young, so I never really knew her. It was just… her absence." She finished, her expression twisting slightly. She couldn't say her father was a bad man, but he wasn't a caring one. He'd rather she spend her entire life helping with this stupid bar, than find a good man and create a life of her own. "Have- have you lost someone?" She asked back.

Thomas stayed silent for a moment, processing the question as he remembered just how much he'd actually lost. An entire world, just… gone. But he wasn't going to talk to Jade about that. "My- fiance." Thomas eventually answered, deciding that would be the best equivalent for this culture. And honestly, it wasn't that far off. He was basically certain he was going to marry Jessica before it all went down. It was just a matter of getting a ring. "I thought I'd put it behind me, but… turns out the woman showing me the houses has the same name, and it all came back." Thomas's expression twisted bitterly. "Stupid, huh? Just a fucking name, and the entire day… ruined."

Jade hesitantly sat next to him on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I- I don't think a loss like that is something you just put behind you… otherwise- otherwise it wouldn't truly be a loss." Jade's expression darkened. "People who can just move on from a loss- a loss that affects such a significant part of their life… did they really care in the first place?"

"But you have to move on, don't you?" Thomas replied, a slight catch in his throat. "Living in the past like that… you can't use a tragedy as an excuse not to live in the present. Life goes on, and you have to live that life, no matter what… otherwise, it'd be like you died too… and wouldn't the person you lost want you to live just as much as you wish they had?"

Jade frowned, thinking that through. "I think- I think it needs a balance. You can't ignore how a tragedy has affected you, but you also can't let it hold you back… right?"

Thomas sighed. "It's undeniably true that we are the sum total of all our experiences, even the bad ones, so yes, that tragedy will always be a part of you, influencing your actions, fueling your fears, your worries, your longing… but at some point, you have to be able to take it in stride right? You can't lose an entire day just because you heard a freaking name!"

"At some point, but… if- if it takes you a year or two to fully accept it… that's okay?" Jade offered. "I don't- I don't know how long it's been since you lost her, but… it takes time, and some things take more time than others. And maybe- maybe a distraction or two could help?"

Thomas snorted. "A distraction would be nice." He'd love to just lose himself in a game or tv show, just let his mind turn off and indulge in something. But what kind of distractions did this world have to offer? Hunting? Training? "But-" He glanced over at Jade, who'd already shrugged out of her dress. "Oh… that kind of distraction."

*

Thomas knew he'd made a mistake. He'd known he was making a mistake as he'd made the mistake. He just honestly couldn't bring himself to care that he was making a mistake, even with Victoria yelling at him the entire time. Even now, with Jade curled up happily under his arm as the first rays of dawn streamed through the window, the full gravity of his mistake weighing down on him, he knew that if he could go back in time, he'd do it all over again. Jade shifted slightly, rubbing up against him, and he was tempted to do it all over again right now. Man, it was so easy to get in trouble when women just threw themselves at you… maybe he shouldn't have judged all those celebrity scandals so harshly? Thomas shook his head. Nah, they still sucked. He was a single, lonely bachelor at the moment. He was allowed to get in trouble. If he was in a relationship, this never would have happened. Case in point, everything that'd happened after it was revealed he was the one who made the system. He was with Jessica, so none of those women could even touch him.

But back to his mistake and the consequences. First, Jade was his now. No getting around that. He'd given up the option to tell her no. Particularly since she'd been a freaking virgin before this… probably not the wonderful night she'd been saving herself for, but that was her choice. The point was, she didn't exactly have the option of finding some sweet boy and settling down any more, because of him. So now he had to take care of her. That wasn't to say she couldn't leave if she wanted, but as long as she wanted to stay, he couldn't push her away.

That led to the problem of what he was actually going to do with her, which was currently giving him a headache. Could he still ask her to be his maid? And if so, could he realized keep sleeping with her if she was his maid? See, with Beatrice, as much as she was Victoria's maid, that was an arrangement between Beatrice and the Marquis. Victoria was her job, not her superior. Of course, the dynamic was still a little off, but they could mostly ignore it. However, with Jade… Thomas would literally be paying her. Handing her silver every week. Even if it was for being a maid, if he was sleeping with her every night in the process, it would still feel… icky. To him at least. He was pretty sure Jade would just give him a confused look if he brought it up, because in this culture, that was just what rich and powerful young men did. But that was a different issue.

On the other hand, if he treated her more like a wife… Well, Jade would be very confused, understandably so, because she wouldn't get why he was doing it, and explaining that it was a holdover from a cultural tradition of a different world probably wouldn't help. He also just wasn't interested in having that kind of relationship with her. He didn't love her, or even really know her at this point. Jumping into a pseudo marriage just because he'd made a mistake and slept with her didn't sit right with him.

That left keeping her as a maid and not sleeping with her, but… Thomas's expression twisted. He'd already made the mistake once, knowing it was a mistake. He wasn't under any illusion that he'd suddenly become a better person and not make the mistake again. If she was in his house, clearly willing to sleep with him, it was going to happen again. Maybe not often, maybe only in moments of weakness, but often enough. And the whole 'you're my maid but we fuck when I'm sad' situation wasn't all that much better than the 'you're my maid but we fuck' situation. Which just left the damn pseudo marriage…

*Serves you right.* Victoria snorted.

*I know.* Thomas sighed. *I'm weak.*

The end result of all this was that he was sleeping with Jade, and was he really going to be a hypocrite and perpetuate the 'you can sleep with your maids' dynamic, or was he going to bite the bullet and turn this into an actual relationship? And if it was an actual relationship, how much was he going to tell her? Would he give her the system? Would he tell her about Earth? Would he tell her about Victoria? What would Victoria tell Beatrice about this situation?

*Oh you mother fucker!* Victoria growled. Yeah, he wasn't sure Beatrice would get the whole 'we're the same, but we're leading different lives, and my other life has a wife' thing. Though you never know… *You're the one who's going to have to explain this to her.* Victoria demanded. *If she has to be pissed at one of us, it's going to be you.*

*Fine, fine.* Thomas agreed. *Should I shoot her a text through the system, or-*

*Don't you dare!* Victoria protested. *No, once you have your damn house I'll- we'll visit. After you have this whole… situation figured out.*

*Works for me.* Thomas agreed. Now all he needed to do was figure out how he was going to figure this whole situation out… today was going to be a long day.