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133

Greg left the meeting, heading towards a portal to a nearby forest to cultivate, and found himself walking next to Foratuna. The two walked silently for a moment, until Foratuna finally spoke up. “Have- you considered any particular strategies for the supply line raids?”

“Nope.” Greg shrugged. “Don't plan to either. Unless I'm actively about to do something, I've found strategizing to be largely pointless, since it generally turns out that the situation I'm planning for never actually happens. Just a waste of brain power at that point.”

Foratuna blinked. “You- don't think we'll end up attacking the Hidden Blades’ supply lines?”

“I mean, we might. I honestly think we probably will, but I've thought we were going to end up doing a lot of things we never ended up doing in the end.” Greg replied. “Hitting their supply lines is a good idea, but it's slow. Slow things tend not to last around us. At least, not when it impedes our progress.”

“Then why have meetings dedicated to making strategic decisions?” Foratuna asked, frowning slightly.

“Practice.” Greg chuckled. “It also helps us find the people who actually have a talent for it, so when we actually do need a strategy, we know who to ask. Like you! I mean, how would we have figured out that some random chick actually has a brain in her head without these meetings?”

“I'm not some random chick!” Foratuna protested. “I was a Duke! I was learning how to lead armies before I could walk!”

“Fair. But still, not something we would have considered without these meetings, because three of us didn't know you, and everyone who did has pretty much decided to pretend your past doesn't exist.” Greg pointed out. “So whether it's true or not, before you started coming to these meetings, you were just some random chick in everyone's eyes.”

Foratuna grimaced. “Sometimes it seems like everyone prefers to pretend I don't exist.” Even Semloh, the man who had practically raised her, seemed uncomfortable every time they talked and would look for any excuse to avoid her.

Greg grunted. “Yeah, I could see that. I'm not sure there are a lot of people who could get past both the fact that you used to be a guy and that you were changed because you tried to rape someone. Seems like anyone who could get past the one would get hung up on the other.”

“So what can I do?” Foratuna shook her head helplessly. “I can't change what I did, or what I've become.”

Greg raised an eyebrow. “You do know the system can turn you back into a guy, right?”

Foratuna hesitated. “I do, but… whenever I consider turning back, I can't help but think of the things I've done, and- it just seems better to stay a woman. I don't mind it, and it makes sure I'm not- tempted.”

Greg paused. “You know what? I get that. There are just certain things out there you have to avoid, because you know that if you didn't, things could get… messy.”

Foratuna frowned. “I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of someone with your abilities commiserating with my struggles.”

“Ha! No, you're right, definitely not a great sign. But don't worry, I've got a handle on it.” Greg assured her, before pausing. “Though I'd have a better one if I could find a girlfriend…”

Foratuna's eyes widened. “I'm sorry, I'm not-”

“Not you.” Greg rolled his eyes. “No offense, but you're a freak. I'm a freak too, and two freaks together… Well, we were just talking about situations that could get messy. Freaks need someone hard to keep them stable. Like Ursa, but he already has a freak to take care of.”

“What about Victoria?” Foratuna asked with no subtlety whatsoever.

Greg raised an eyebrow. “Also taken, but also not what you're looking for. Victoria is like dynamite. Do you know dynamite? Explosives?”

“I know of explosives.” Foratuna nodded, frowning slightly. “How are they related to Victoria?”

“Well, Victoria is one of those people who's stable most of the time, but once someone sets her off… boom!” Greg explained. “Case in point, you. Don't get me wrong, I get the attraction. Freaks love to play with dynamite, but it isn't healthy, cause inevitably you'd set her off. You need someone who can't be shaken, and she needs someone like Beatrice, who… would be water, I guess? Cool and refreshing? Eh, my analogy might be breaking down, but my point stands. You and Victoria would not be good together.”

“What if I'm not a freak?” Foratuna retorted, crossing her arms.

Greg shrugged. “Hey, I just call it like I see it. You give off major freak vibes. I mean, pining after someone who's already in a relationship is like signature freak. We don't exactly have a firm grasp on the idea of something being ‘off limits’. But it's your life, so you do you. I'm just gonna say it looks like you're setting yourself up to get hurt.”

Foratuna grimaced. “I- appreciate the advice.”

Greg shook his head, grinning slightly. “Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you do. But hey, once shit hits the fan and you need some advice, feel free to come find me. In public. I don't trust either of us in private.”

Foratuna grunted, walking off, and a moment later Chris appeared next to Greg. “So what am I and what do I need?”

Greg rolled his eyes. “What am I, a relationship guru? I know freaks and what we should look for and avoid. Whatever you are isn't even on my list.”

Chris clicked his tongue. “Damn. I could use a formula for this.”

“I'm honestly surprised you don't already have one.” Greg commented. “Seems like the kind of thing you'd figure out.”

“Well, for the first eighteen years of my life, the formula was simply no. It'd be irresponsible to get into a relationship when I knew I was going to die. And after that I was with Beth, so I didn't need a formula. Now… All I have is that I need someone who doesn't look down on me for my inability to care, but still pushes me to be more caring. I'm not sure how that manifests in a personality though, particularly since Beth and Quinn aren't very similar.”

Greg frowned. “Are you sure about that? I mean, they're both pretty stubborn, to the point where they almost seem to enjoy banging their heads against a wall. Or… hmmm, no, it's more like once they've made their mind up about something, it takes work to get them to change it. Dedicated, they're both dedicated. And then…” Greg snorted. “Well, they both have shitty exes, so that has to suggest something. Poor judges of char- ow!” Greg yelped as Chris smacked him upside the head.

“Don't insult my wife and girlfriend.” Chris warned.

Greg rolled his eyes. “Fine, they have a tendency to see the good in people. Better?” Chris nodded. “Right… neither of them has the best view of who they are- ah ah ah!” Greg dodged another slap. “Not in a bad way! I think it might be related to the dedicated quality. They get this idea of themselves in their head and they have a hard time letting go of it.” He paused for a moment, before shaking his head. “I know there's more, but I'm having a hard time putting it together at the moment.”

“It's more than I had, so thanks.” Chris replied.

“I do have to point out that Georgia is rather dedicated and tends to see the best in people. Just, you know, to put it out there.” Greg added. He'd told Chris she liked him ages ago and nothing had come of it. Normally he wouldn't think much of it, but Georgia had been getting grouchier, and it was making life on the ship… tense.

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Chris frowned. “She is, but I think you were wrong about her liking me. She seems to be avoiding me and even when I try to talk to her, she gives short, simple answers that leave little room to continue the conversation.”

Greg raised an eyebrow. “Then you fucked it up somehow, because I know she liked you. She literally talked to Tessa about it. How about you go talk to her about it? Like, you know, now.”

Chris gave him a weird look. “If she doesn't like me, why would I talk to her about it? I don't have a habit of forcing myself on people.”

Greg sighed as they arrived at the portal to the forest. “No, of course you don't.” Honestly it'd probably be better to have Tessa talk to Georgia. Chris would probably just make things worse. “Alright, I'm going to cultivate.”

“Oh, that reminds me, avoid the trees with the yellow bark and the star shaped leaves. Their sap makes some good candy.” Chris added.

“Noted.” Greg nodded, heading out the portal.

*

“What do you think of the candy?” Jade asked as they walked through the garden.

“It's good.” Chris replied as he crouched down to examine a purple flower. “I already told Greg to avoid the trees.” He added, picking the flower and tossing it into his world.

Jade smiled. “What do you think of these?” She gestured to a beautiful arrangement of red flowers.

Chris glanced over and shook his head. “Have them. Roses. Pretty common.”

Jade hesitated, before nodding. “Right, I'll keep looking.” The two continued to make their way through the garden, Chris occasionally stopping to examine a plant, sometimes tossing it into his world, sometimes not, while Jade focused on drawing his attention to the more beautiful arrangements, which never failed to get a lackluster response.

Chris frowned as Jade pointed out yet another group of flowers. “Those are roses again.” He turned to Jade. “It's alright if you don't want to help me look and you don't have to force yourself to stick around if you're bored.”

“No, of course I want to help!” Jade protested. “I just- I must have forgotten.”

Chris raised an eyebrow as he reviewed everything she'd pointed out, noting that it was always one of the main arrangements. “Jade, you're clearly only pointing out the obvious ones. It's fine, you don't have to pretend to be interested.”

“That isn't it! I just- I just wanted you to see them.” Jade muttered.

Chris blinked. “Wait… is this another one of your ‘fill my emptiness with beauty’ schemes?” Jade hesitated, before giving him a jerky nod. Chris sighed. “Jade, I've told you, that isn't how I see the world. Plants are just plants to me. The sunset is just a sunset. The stars are just stars. I appreciate function, results, not arrangement.”

“I know, but- how can you know if you appreciate something until you've seen it?” Jade retorted. “Even if everything you've seen before hasn't meant anything to you, maybe the next thing you see will.”

Chris cocked his head. “Hm, I suppose that's fair.”

Jade blinked. “It- it is?”

Chris nodded. “I've recently found myself quite fascinated by the Core Room crystal. The blobs bloop quite pleasantly. I never would have assumed that before I experienced it.”

Jade paused. “Blobs bloop?”

“Quite pleasantly.” Chris confirmed.

“Can- can I see?” Jade asked. Chris considered it for a moment, before sending her a memory of watching the blobs bloop in the Maze World Core Room crystal, which included his emotional response. Jade's eyes widened for a moment, before a bright smile spread across her face and she slammed into Chris, wrapping her arms around him. “It worked!” She cried. “You felt less empty!”

“I suppose I did.” Chris agreed, patting her on the back. “Which I suppose means your idea is sound, even if nothing you've tried has worked yet. You won't have to trick me the next time you want me to see something beautiful. Though maybe our search should tend more towards blobs, hm?”

Jade practically squealed when he said ‘our search’, tightening her hold on him. “Yes!”

Chris shook his head at the excitable woman, before pausing as a thought occurred to him. “You're rather dedicated, aren't you?”

Jade pulled back, giving him a confused look. “I- am?”

“You've spent weeks figuring out how to get me to see beautiful things, despite my continued insistence that it's meaningless.” Chris commented. “You persisted, because you believed it could work, and you refused to change your mind. Even with Thomas you were rather dedicated, misguided as it was. Though, I suppose that's the problem with dedication… it can get you in trouble if you're dedicated to the wrong thing.”

Jade's expression twisted, taking a step back. “Yeah…”

Chris frowned at her somewhat extreme reaction. He was just beginning to appreciate how pleasant it was to hold her. “I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have brought that up. I forget people don't enjoy being reminded of their mistakes.”

Jade shook her head. “No, it isn't that. It's just- my father…”

Chris blinked. “Ah. Yes, he is rather dedicated as well, isn't he?”

“To that stupid bar.” Jade growled. She was a Cultivator, personally serving a god, and her father still insisted she come back and work at his bar! He didn't even need anyone to work, because it was in Chris's world now, and all anyone needed to do was ask for food and they'd have it! What was the point in charging people for food they could get for free?!? And why- why did he always put it over her!?!

Chris hesitated as tears began to drip down Jade's cheek. The usual protocol in this situation was to hug, but she'd just stepped out of his arms a few moments ago, which seemed to imply she didn't want a hug. However, standing here watching her cry also seemed like the wrong move… Chris sighed and went for the hug. If she didn't want it, she could push him away. As he arms wrapped around her, she pressed into him, so he figured he made the right call. “It's tough when family lets you down, I know.” Chris was surprised to find that he actually did commiserate with her on this. Family had never exactly been something he could depend on, and even he had found that… difficult to come to terms with. “I think we always wish they were perfect, ideal, incorruptible, but… they're people, and that simply isn't how people work. Some are better, some are worse, but none of them are perfect. Most of them at least try. Some don't. It sucks when they don't. But I take it as a lesson for why we do try. So we don't pass on the same pain to others. Particularly not children.”

Jade sniffed. “I just don't understand why. What is so important about the bar that everything else has to come second?”

“You'd have to ask him, and even he may not know.” Chris shrugged. “It could be something passed down from his own father, some hurt that forces him to latch on to the bar for security. Something that tells him that as long as the bar is doing well, he is doing well, and if it isn't, he isn't. Something so ingrained within him that he doesn't even question it anymore, it simply is.” Chris paused as an example occurred to him. “I knew this boy from the orphanage whose mood rose and fell with the state of a small fern he carried with him everywhere he went. The greener it was, the happier he was, and a brown spot would send him spiraling into depression. It got to the point where I had to insist that he get rid of it, that tying your mood to a plant was ridiculous, arguing with him over and over about it, until Mrs. Richardson pulled me aside and explained that the plant was the only thing he'd managed to save from the fire that took his home and family, the last remnant of everything he loved in the world.”

Jade let out a choked laugh. “I remember this. You were going to go back and yell at him for saving a fern instead of something more valuable, or at least easier to preserve.”

Chris coughed awkwardly. “Yes, well, I did eventually get the point that the fern wasn't something he could just get rid of. He needed it. As far as I know, he's still taking care of the damn thing, and I'm not sure if he'll ever be capable of stopping.” Chris trailed off for a moment, before shaking his head. “My point is, when someone gets irrational like that, there's usually a reason behind it, and whatever it is, your father could be just as much a victim as a perpetrator. Does that help?”

Jade sighed. “A little. It's hard to be angry at him when I think of him as a little boy with a fern, but… it still hurts. And- and I'm so scared I might become him! If- if I'm dedicated just like him, then- I don't want to end up with a fern of my own.” She ended in a hoarse whisper.

“So don't.” Chris replied. “The first step to not having a problem is knowing that the problem exists. Now that you know you might get too obsessed with something, you can watch yourself to make sure you aren't too obsessed with something. You can also find people you trust to watch you and make sure you don't get too obsessed with something. Just because you have a tendency towards an issue doesn't mean you're helpless, it just means you need to be a bit more careful.”

Jade paused. “Would- would you help me?” She asked hesitantly.

Chris cocked his head. “Yes, but you're probably going to need to find someone else to help as well. Not sure if you've noticed, but I'm the thing you're most in danger of becoming obsessed with at the moment.”

Jade flushed, pulling away from him. “I- you're right, I should- I shouldn't bother you-”

“Stop.” Chris cut her off. “You're overcorrecting. Dedication isn't bad. Dedication to the exclusion of everything else is. Dedication is just a sign that you care about something. Do you want to live a life where you have nothing you care about? Even I don't want to live like that, and I'm as close to being okay with it as a person can possibly be. Literally, I need to care about one thing, and I'm good. So no, you shouldn't leave me alone. But maybe you shouldn't focus on me as much as you have recently. Go make some friends. Find a hobby you enjoy. Fill your life with more than just one thing. Think you can do that?”

Jade hesitated before nodding. “Yeah, I think I can.”

Chris smiled. “Good. And don't worry, I'll still be here when you have time for me.”