“Earth?” Weidi asked as she appeared at the table.

“Weidi! What have I told you about teleporting in the house?” The woman snapped.

“I had to!” Weidi protested. “The stupid guards aren't letting anyone in!”

“We do have an intruder.” The Lord commented blandly.

“A nonviolent intruder.” Weidi insisted.

“Nonviolent so far.” Greg interjected. “I could snap at any moment!”

Weidi scowled at him. “Daddy would never let you hurt me!”

Greg grinned. “See, now I'm tempted just to see if I could.”

The Lord sighed, rubbing his temple. “Are you here to speak with me or argue with my daughter?”

Greg paused. “Can't it be both?” The Lord just glared at him until Greg laughed. “Fine, fine, I'll stay on topic. Earth. Y'all are kidnapping humans. We want you to stop. You'll get the system in exchange. Arguably better? Thirty years to the peak of Omega. Pretty sure that beats sucking on humans.”

The Lord blinked. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Stop kidnapping humans, get the system, grow faster.” Greg repeated simply. “Not that complicated.”

“You- what is ‘the system’?” The Lord asked carefully.

“The system is a mental construct which facilitates growth by giving people tasks to earn points that they may then use to enhance their physique, ability, and skills.” Greg rattled off. “As I said, if you dedicate all your points to enhancing your ability, it'll take about thirty years to reach the peak. Pretty good deal, eh?”

The Lord frowned. “It would be… comparable to the efficiency of a steady rate of feeding.” He fell silent, chewing things over for a moment, before letting out a sigh. “Let's start over for a moment here. Who, and what, are you?”

“My name is Greg, and I'm a member of a group of demonic godlike beings called the Eternals, of which I represent Body, or the physical nature of reality.” Greg replied.

“Demonic godlike beings?” The Lord asked skeptically.

“See my smoke?” Greg waved, a few wisps of smoke curling around his fingers. “This… is the essence of physicality. It can dissolve anything and create anything, as long as it's physical. All I am is composed of this, and anything I make of it is me. I am it, and it is me, meaning I am the essence of physicality. Sounds pretty godlike, don't you think? As for the demonic part…” Greg trailed off for a moment. “Well, I guess that's just to emphasize that the term refers to power, not anything else related to gods. We aren't collecting worshipers, we don't want sacrifice, we don't even particularly need respect. We're just people with power and opinions. Do with that what you will.”

The Lord's expression twisted. “I see… and what do you want?”

“We want you to stop kidnapping humans. We're willing to offer alternatives so you aren't particularly inconvenienced by the loss. Of course, if you insist on continuing despite all that, we're more than willing to use more… persuasive measures. After all, people who insist on hurting people when they don't need to can't really be surprised when they get hurt back, now can they?” Greg finished with a chuckle.

“Ah, so you're threatening us.” The Lord nodded, as if he suddenly understood the situation.

“Eh?” Greg wiggled his hand. “More like we're informing you of the consequences of your actions. Like, would you say you're threatening a criminal when you inform them they'll be imprisoned for stealing?”

“Or trespassing?” The Lord added sarcastically. “No, I suppose I wouldn't, though I hesitate to agree that you would be in a position to deliver such a warning.” The Lord paused. “How did you discover our activity on Earth?”

“We caught one of you in the act.” Greg replied. “G- G something.”

The Lord froze. “Giana?”

“Yeah!” Greg exclaimed. “You know her?”

“She's my granddaughter.” The Lord growled.

Greg blinked, glancing at Weidi, then back at the Lord. “Really?”

“I have more than one child!” The Lord snapped. “Giana is my fourth son's daughter.”

“Ah, right, you're like a thousand years old.” Greg muttered. “Anyway, she's fine, just chilling in Chris's world. Not exactly happy, because you know, she's not there willingly, but she has nothing to particularly complain about.”

“Chris's world?” The Lord asked.

“Demonic gods, remember? Chris is a living world. Great for holding prisoners.” Greg grinned.

“I- see.” The Lord frowned as something clicked. “Wait… you caught Giana on Earth?”

“Oh, yeah. We've been working with humanity to stop you guys on that end, but you're pretty hard to pin down, you know? The only reason we got Giana was because she popped in right in front of us. Real convenient, that.” Greg chuckled. “We figured it'd be easier to stop you on this end.”

“How do you have access to Earth?” The Lord asked suspiciously.

“Chris found a way there and once he's been somewhere he can get back whenever he wants.” Greg explained. “Very convenient guy, Chris.”

“Hm.” The Lord grunted. “And who is providing this system?”

“That'd be Victoria.” Greg replied. “Soul Eternal, deals with the mind and ability energy, which are inexorably connected for some reason.”

“Your ability is simply the method by which you enforce your will upon reality. Why wouldn't it be connected to your mind?” The Lord's wife commented.

Greg blinked. “Shit, I have to tell that to Victoria. Absolutely brilliant, thank you.”

“You're- welcome?” She replied hesitantly.

“So this Victoria can provide us with a system we can use to make ourselves stronger without the humans.” The Lord continued, refocusing the conversation. “What is the cost?”

“Like I'm my smoke, Victoria is her points, so if you have them inside you, you have her inside you, which lets her read your mind.” Greg explained. “I could tell you that she won't keep her points inside you, which doesn't affect your ability to spend them, but you probably won't believe me, so I'll just assure you that we don't need to read people's minds. We can spy perfectly well without it. If you have bugs, you could have us, and everyone has bugs.” Greg grinned, using some smoke to form a swarm of small insects, sending them flying around the room.

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“I see.” The Lord sighed. “And if we refuse to accept this system, there will be… consequences?”

Greg paused. “You don't have to accept the system. What we insist is that you stop kidnapping humans and using them as… blood slaves? That accurate? Of course, if anyone wants to willingly donate blood, that's their business, but the whole kidnapping and forcing people to give you blood has to go. You need power? Use the system or find some other way to get it. Leave humans out of it, or any other sapient race for that matter.”

“Why?” The Lord frowned. “Why would people with your power care about… humans?” He asked, his expression twisting distastefully. “They're weak, insignificant, pathetic creatures, crueler to each other than we have ever been to them. They should be proud to be our thralls! At least with us they have a purpose!”

Greg raised an eyebrow. “I mean, people can be a little cruel-”

“A little?!?” The Lord exclaimed. “Have you ever seen a forest of men, impaled on spikes, thrashing in agony as they died a slow, painful death!?! I have, an act performed by one of your precious humans! One of their rulers! That son of a Dragon… I can only hope he had a short, painful life after I drained half his blood. I just wish I had stuck around longer to watch him suffer.”

Greg blinked. “Wait… Vlad the Impaler?”

The Lord raised an eyebrow. “You know of him?”

“He's literally the origin of vampire myths on Earth! Or at least the most famous example… Vlad Dracul- why are you kicking me?!?” Greg turned to the Lord's wife, who had been kicking him under the table.

“What-” The Lord began. “-is a vampire?”

“You are.” Greg replied. “It's what humans call Damir. And Vlad the Impaler is the archetype of a vampire.”

“He's what!?!” The Lord exclaimed, jumping to his feet in anger. “They- they associate us with that- that-”

“Monster?” Greg offered.

The Lord glared at him, huffing. “How dare they associate him with us! We would never be that cruel!”

“Dear, please calm down!” His wife pleaded. “You know how humans are! They're dumb, with short memories! You can't blame them for getting things mixed up!”

The Lord's eyes widened as he whirled on her. “You knew about this?!?”

She hesitated. “The- the children discovered the tale recently. The humans began accusing us of being vampires, shared the story, some had a vague idea of the history… we decided that telling you would only upset you.”

The Lord snarled, pacing angrily back and forth. “How dare- how dare they! I'll- I'll- argh!!!” He roared in frustration.

“Man, I can't wait to see how he reacts to Twilight.” Greg snickered.

The Lord's wife turned to glare at him. “If you even think if exposing him to that trash-”

“Hey now, I wouldn't say it's trash.” Greg retorted. “Morally suspect at times, particularly when the dude is practically stalking her, but honestly a lot of romances are vaguely suspect. People get weird when it comes to relationships. But the vampire lore was at least interesting, and since y'all don't stick around long enough to be consulted, you can't particularly blame people for making shit up.”

“Humans.” The Lord spat bitterly.

“Yes. Humans. They're flawed, I'm not going to disagree with that, but that doesn't mean they deserve to be torn from their lives and made into your thralls.” Greg shook his head. “Look, I'm not asking you to make friends with anyone, just leave them alone, alright? Is that so hard? Do you need to abuse humans for some reason?”

“We don't abuse them!” The Lord retorted. “We require them to donate blood and perform certain tasks, but we ensure they are well cared for!”

“Healthy thrall, healthy blood.” Weidi nodded sagely.

“If that's the case, why not leave the decision up to them?” Greg offered. “Chris'll be here in… I don't know, a month maybe? When he gets here, he'll be able to take people back to Earth, or just let them live in his world. If people want to stick around and keep being your thralls, we'll let them. If you're right and you treat them well, then they should jump at the chance, right? But if they want to leave… well, maybe you aren't caring for them as well as you think, eh?”

“Humans don't know what's best for them!” The Lord retorted. “Some think they're better off out there, contending with Dragons! Humans are foolish, shortsighted creatures! They need our guidance!”

“People are allowed to be foolish and shortsighted.” Greg sighed, shaking his head. “You can't save people from their own mistakes, and if you try, you just make them worse. People learn through consequences, by making decisions and facing the results. You take away their decisions, you take away their growth. You can't just control people's lives.”

“You barged in here and demanded control of ours, you hypocrite!” The Lord exclaimed.

“Hey, I'm not forcing you to do anything.” Greg countered. “I'm just informing you of the consequences of your actions.”

*

“So, how'd it go?” Victoria asked Greg, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“Eh?” Greg wiggled his hand. “The dude I talked to is hella racist, but he doesn't seem horrible. He's one of those benevolent racists who thinks they're helping people by infantilizing them. No hate, just… disdain. He just considers humans an inferior race.”

“What does that mean for us?” Victoria frowned.

“Still not sure.” Greg sighed. “We argued for a bit but I don't think I'm really swaying him. Damn millennials are just so stubborn, you know?”

“Millennials?” Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know, people who've lived over a thousand years.” Greg chuckled.

Andrew paused. “They are pretty set in their ways…”

“So are we going to have to handle them?” Victoria asked.

“Again, I'm not sure.” Greg shrugged. “I'll talk to a few more people, see if his outlook is common or not, make myself a general nuisance, you know. We can't base our entire strategy on one guy, after all. I'll have a better idea once you guys arrive.”

Victoria sighed. “Fair enough.”

“Speaking of humanity, should we be… doing anything, on Earth?” Chris asked. “Stopping wars, feeding people, ending disease, any of that? I've been watching the news, and it seems pretty bad.”

“The news always makes things look bad.” Greg rolled his eyes, before pausing. “Though there may be a few things we could handle… Some third world countries can get pretty bad.”

“Christine suggested working with some charities a while back.” Chris added. “We're wrapping up with the beacons, and handling the Damir, so it feels like we should start branching out.”

“Maybe.” Greg agreed with a shrug. “The Abductor guys are going to be out of a job soon. Maybe we should talk to them, see if we can find something new to occupy them?”

“How about Gaia? Any progress there?” Victoria asked.

“The AI seems to be coming along nicely.” Chris replied. “Should be ready to turn her human soon. We can do that, right?”

“Probably?” Andrew answered hesitantly. “It should just be a matter of switching her core and changing the body into something alive, then her body will adjust naturally.”

“Haven't you been experimenting with the naga staff?” Victoria asked.

“Sure, but that's a matter of trying to revert the changes so she can get back to her original form, right?” Andrew cocked his head. “That's like doing core surgery where I change the core that's already there, instead of swapping. Helpful for training my Essence Manipulation, but I don't think it's necessary for Gaia.”

“I thought the problem was that people aren't meant to be machines, so if we just swapped the core, she'd die.” Chris commented.

Andrew paused. “Shit, that's actually possible. Cores look for signs that the body they're in can't support them anymore, and a machine doesn't have any of those signs!”

“So I'll need to connect her to my world first, so she'll just go there if she dies, instead of elsewhere.” Chris shrugged.

“Right, that should work.” Andrew agreed, nodding slowly. “Should we experiment with the staff first?”

“That's what I thought the plan was!” Victoria exclaimed. “I didn't think you'd be doing surgery!”

“You were talking about magic! Why would I need magic for core swapping?!?” Andrew retorted.

“I don't know!” Victoria threw up her hands.

“How about we just do a few tests with the naga staff and skip the argument?” Greg suggested.

Andrew sighed. “Yeah, I'll get on it. In my defense, Chris blindsided me with his relationship with Quinn, so I wasn't all that focused on the staff.”

Chris shrugged. “It isn't my fault your memory sucks.”