"Sho! Sho! Come on! Come on!" They said as they pulled my hand while pouting.

"No! I don't want to go! It's so dark in there!" My young self tried to get away from the forest.

"That stupid dream again?! I'm getting sick of it! I keep forgetting about it every time I wake up!" I stomped in frustration.

"And who even is that person over there?! I don't remember having anyone else than Haruki at that time, after all, judging by how young I look, it might've been somewhere in between pre-school and elementary school." I rolled my eyes and looked at Yokubo, who was sitting on top of a high-voltage threshold, lying his cheek against his hand.

"What? Are you starting to think that this is something that your mind produces?" He asked with a smug smile on his face.

"Yeah, that's what I thought since I started having those weird dreams, but I'm starting to believe that this has something real in it, after all, it's always about me with someone, someone whom I can't even see..." Suddenly, I had a moment of realization. "Wait a second... You know what is that, don't you?!" I asked in anger.

"Yep, I know what this is, and I can assure you that it is, or at least was real at some point..." He said and then scratched his chin.

"You know what~? You won't remember it anyway since you always forget about those dreams, and I'm currently a part of them. So I will tell you~!" He laughed mischievously.

"Tell me what, huh?!" I asked.

He then pointed at the dark silhouette. "They were a person who was your first friend here, in Shizuhara. They were too attached to you, and one day, it was just a "puff"! They were gone!" He flicked his fingers and laughed again.

"So this is really a dream made out of memories?! How come I don't remember any of this?" I asked.

"To be honest, even I don't know it, I'm the second youngest I, right behind you." He then looked at the sky.

"Second youngest of us...?" I asked in confusion and terror.

"How many of us are there in total? I only talked to you and Kowagari... I didn't even get to know him that well in the first place... he seemed scared of 'others' finding out about what's he doing..." I looked at the ground.

"He was scared, huh?" He giggled softly.

"Ehh... that's so like him! Always scared... even tho no one really cares... but he was a good guy." He smiled softly.

He jumped off the threshold and sat down on the grass. "I'm not sure how many of I there are in total, but Kowagari once told me that the Fourth once visited him when he was still alive." He said.

I sat down next to him; the memory was frozen in place as if time stopped.

"Fourth one? Did he tell you anything about him?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah... that he was a total Psycho who lost his humanity a long time ago, "a lost case," he said." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh... that's kinda weird to think how there are messed up versions of myself..." I sighed softly.

"Every one of us is unique. I'm sure of it, even if I only talked to Kowagari and you, Yokubo." He smiled softly.

I looked at him. "Why did your attitude toward me change so suddenly? I thought that you wanted me to follow your ideals or something like that! A light-hearted shit talk was the last thing I expected from you." I giggled.

"Don't get me wrong, I still want you to follow my ideals... I want you to survive... tho I know that you won't remember this conversation anyway... so why am I doing this? Because I'm bored as fuck~! And because I'm lonely here... alone without Kowagari..." He said the last part with sorrow in his voice.

"Why do you want me to survive? Why are you trying to help me, even tho I'm constantly trying to do it my way?" I asked with confusion.

"Because I know that Kowagari would do the same... he was like a brother to me... it may sound weird calling a different version of myself my brother, but it is the only thing I can call him... he was always so happy when he watched your life... he thought that you might be the first one who won't suffer and live a normal life away from this messed up shit... but he was wrong after all..."

Suddenly, the dream shattered, and I woke up, feeling something sharp enter my stomach, following an insane amount of pain.

I loudly groaned in pain, reaching toward my stomach. I felt a wet moisture, and as I looked at it, I saw my insides slowly leaking out of the open wound.

"Wha-" I couldn't even say a full proper word as the air oxygen froze in my lungs.

"I heard that you've been searching for me, trying to find who I really am." A distorted voice came from my desk.

I rolled onto my side with the last strength I had; my vision was blurry, and tears were leaking out of my eyes.

I felt an insane amount of fury when I saw her.

Normally, I would run and try to attack her, but now I can't.

"I'm so tired...I'm so powerless..."

"Isolde... Veyne..." I managed to say those two words before I started feeling even more nauseous than before.

"Mhm~ Exactly! That's who I am!" She jumped off my desk and slowly walked over to me, sitting on the bloodied bed.

"Oh, you look so mad~! Did I hurt you back then? Is that why are you mad at me~?" She licked her lips and smirked. "If I did, then I'm soooo sorry~! The objective was clear! To recruit the priest and to avoid confronting and hurting you~!" She pushed her chest up pridefully.

I puked a lot of blood directly on the covers of my bed.

"...why..." My eyes and eyelids started slowly closing.

"I'm going off-record right now... I can do anything~! That's why I decided to kill you... Nakamura Shoji-kun~!" She giggled mischievously.

"Tho I'm also quite proud of you, human~!" She reached her right hand towards my eyes, showing a nasty scar in the middle of it. "Even the best healer from The Luminous Order couldn't heal it entirely~! I always thought that you're worthless but in the end... you got to be the first human ever to damage me, and I won't forget that~!"

"I don't want to... listen to this... I don't want to listen to her anymore... I can't... I can't...!" I grabbed the dagger and pulled it out of my stomach with all the strength I had left.

"Oh? Do you really think that you can hurt me? In this state you're in right now~? Haha~! Don't make me laugh~!" She said.

I raised the dagger and plunged it into my heart.

Everything went black, and then everything went white. I woke up in the empty white void, curling up into a ball on the ground.

I started crying. "I don't want it... I DON'T WANT ANY OF IT ANYMORE! RELEASE ME! RELEASE ME PLEASE! I WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO DIE!"

"Shhh... it will be okay... don't cry on me..." I heard a girl whisper into my ear with a soft voice.

I wanted to look at her, but she covered my eyes with her hands, hugging me softly from behind.

"W-Who... are you...?" I asked, my voice trembled.

"It doesn't matter who I am, love, what matters now is to not let you give up yet..." She whispered into my ear. Her voice was like honey to my ears.

"I can't... I can't keep going...! I thought that I would fix everything in the end... but she knows who I am... where I live... but it's not about me... Haruki is already gone... I don't want... I don't want to let her hurt Kaori... I'm worried about Layla... Carmilla is too hot-headed to stay calm... I know Sebas would be fine, but I'm still scared... She might even hurt Lilith.... fuck... I even don't want her to hurt that motherfucker Hirano... but... but I'm too weak... to protect anyone... I just keep being saved by someone...!" I cried even more, gripping her arms in despair.

"You're wrong, Shoji-kun. You're an amazing person... at least for me..."

"No! I'm fucking not! I keep destroying everything I touch! Every relationship! The balance! The law! The happiness!" I screamed in pain.

"Yes... that's true... you keep breaking everything..." She said softly.

"You see?! Even you say th-..."

She then hugged me even tighter, kissing my cheek softly. "You're also breaking the chains of suffering that are keeping people away from happiness... you're amazing... and I love you for that... do you love me too?"

I tried to look at her, but she insisted on covering my eyes.

The floor beneath us started to shatter.

"Why...?" I sobbed. "Why would anyone love me?!"

"You're my hero; you've saved me, and you will save me... you save those who you care about... that's what I love about you... you're not a hero to everyone, but to the people whom you think deserve a hero to protect them... you're selfish, but you would share everything you have with your loved ones anyway... you're constantly putting yourself on the line to keep your loves ones safe... saving Kaori... trying to help Haruki... I just can't... I love you... with my whole heart..."

"But if you really want to give up right now, then you can stay here for as long as you want, I will love you regardless of what you will do..." She said softly.

The floor cracked directly under us.

"So Shoji-kun... will you stay here and be with me? Love me with the same passion I love you, or will you leave me and fight for the ones you've fought for your entire life?" She asked with genuine care.

I was silent for a moment, but then I spoke up. "I don't know who you are... or how deep your feeling are... but... fuck... Kaori was right... I've been thinking about someone who took much lately... most of my thoughts are about her... she might've borrowed my heart for some time back in the infirmary... and even after everything she said... I don't think she genuinely wants to give it back... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry... but...-" She then silenced me with her finger on my lips.

"Shhh. I understand. I will always understand and accept the choices you are making... and you know what, Shoji-kun?... I'm glad..." She smiled softly, and then the floor completely shattered beneath us. She broke the hug, dropping me into the white endless void.

"Take a small break... do it for your loved ones... do it for me... and most importantly... for yourself... I love you..." She said softly.