5

(Avicii, Aloe Blacc- Wake Me Up)

Vetia

Brenden’s stupid blue eyes stupidly stared at me like I was stupid. “It sounds like a bad D&D name.”

“Fuck you, ET. I’m gonna be real, I panicked and my gamertag was the first thing that came to mind. So I said it like a vampire and WetYaBed420 became Vetia. It was a joke. You’re the one who decided to start calling me Vetia.”

Brenden conceded to not caring anymore. “Well it’s stupid."

I smirked. “Okay, whatever you say Megamind. Do you want me to choose some basic bitch name like Chloe or Ehmaleigh? I ain’t using my old name, that’d just be disrespecting my old body callin’ this bitch Rowan. It’s a fantasy world, I don’t give a shit. I’m just tryna have fun with what I got.”

Desmond countered. “I kinda get it, but how do you know this is like other fantasy places?”

I pointed at Adam the orc and Brenden the elf.

“Fair enough.” He turned to Tells to whisper a joke.

Adam chuckled. “All of us look like some 14 year-old’s self-inserts except Brenden. He’s the joke character with stupidly big ears and eyes.” That really struck a nerve in alien Brenden.

I trudged out of the grass and plopped down across from the three of them. "I’m kinda pissed, but it ain’t that bad, all things considered. Can we just try to have a little fun with this? I get that you’re in a constant state of bitching and moaning, but maybe now you don’t have to be. Try to think of it like we’re actually in a fantasy world, cause, ya know, we are. Hell, if anyone should be mad, it’s Tells and I! We gotta learn new bodily functions! I don’t know when my pussy’s gonna start bleeding but I know it’s gonna scare the shit outta me!” He stared me dead in the eyes like he was getting pissed off again, so I lightened my tone. “You’re that mad about a little joke? Really?! I get that this isn’t an ideal situation, but who pissed in your Wheaties, Brenden?”

"Pissed in my Wheaties? Bitch, we straight up died today! I think that's plenty piss-enough for my Wheaties! I don’t care about the fucking prank! You’re gonna carry that name like a seal of stupidity now for all I care! But dude, we fucking died today!” Brenden stood up and everyone went silent. “Is it cool and fun that we all died in a car accident, then woke up in completely new bodies, only to almost get trampled to death by a fucking wooly mammoth in the middle of nowhere?! I want to figure out what the fuck is going on. I didn’t ask to be put into this body and I’m sure none of you all were either, but I want to know what is going on!” He paused, looking over all of us, who could only respond with silence. “What the fuck happened to you guys and why are you acting like everything is okay?! Has it just been your dream to brutally die and then get sent to Hell because of all your shitty Chinese cartoons?! Because that’s what it’s looking like! Why do I sound like the delusional one for not being happy and giddy that we all died 'n shit?! Have you all forgotten that we had families and lives back there?”

I’ll shut up. I don’t feel like arguing with him.

Desmond put out his hand. “Hold up, lemme be clear, I don’t watch that gay shit, I’m just having fun. But Brenden, be honest, what the fuck are we gonna do about it? We can sulk or we can move on and try to be happy about it. I had it really good. Really fucking good. Do you honestly think I’m happy about losing everything? No. I’m really not. But what am I gonna do about it now?”

Adam sat down next to me. “You may not have wanted this, but I hated life back home. Working and saving money, only to not be able to afford anything I actually want? Fuckin’ sucked. If you’d have told me I’d get a fresh start by killing myself, then I’d have been the first self-abortion. But we’re all here because of an accident. Not because we wanted to be.”

Brenden seemed genuinely offended and disgusted at us. “Sorry I didn’t hate my life. Guess I’ll just go fuck myself.”

Okay, maybe I do feel like arguing now.

I shrugged. “B, I was in a good spot in my life, like Desmond said. But lamenting about what I don’t have isn’t gonna bring it back. There ain’t much we can figure out til we get somewhere either, so why not just lean into it for now?”

I can’t explain why, but Brenden’s overflowing anxiety and stress is palpable. Like, I can actually feel it. I keep almost giving into feeling those things myself until I take a few breaths to calm myself. He isn’t being unreasonable. He’s just scared.

I cooled my head and softened my voice. “Come on, Brenden, let’s figure this out. Rationalize, I guess.”

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His eyes were like those of an animal in a cage. Frightened and confused, but he sat cross-legged and leaned forward while we reflected.

All of us remembered our previous lives just fine. We had been best friends ever since we were young. When we died, we were out for the night, all finally 21 and out getting shitfaced at the local dive. Adam was our designated driver. On the way back, we passed a nasty drop-off and got our side slammed by a semi-truck. I didn’t really remember dying. None of us did.

Brenden rubbed his hands over his eyes and pushed his shimmering black hair off his face, slowly processing everything.

This is it. This is our new reality. Our new selves. Our new world. I gotta keep everyone in good spirits. They don’t need to be afraid like me.

I stared at my hands, clenching my fists. “Damn, I really am stupidly pale. Ugh, it’s so weird not having a dick!” A tingle ran up my spine and my entire body shuddered to undo my dissonance.

I glanced at Tells. She tugged at her dark brown hair, staring at it with almost fluorescent purple eyes contrasting her golden wheat skin tone. I tossed a clump of grass into her lap. “What’s your take? Yea or nay on being a chick?”

She tugged at her bloody ripped sepia shirt and dusty black slacks. Upon realizing I was talking, she shrugged dismissively, a sensation of shock still gripping her.

The mood became speculative and reminiscent. The strange high wore off and we were all confronted with the truth of this place we were in. I didn’t want everyone to be miserable, though, and that’s how they seemed to be getting. “Alright, new body check. I don’t know what you guys think about yourselves, but I think I'm looking real good.”

Desmond and Adam chuckled, and even Brenden cracked a smirk and broke the silence. “Maybe being a lil fuckin elf will have its merits. Don’t know for sure, though.”

Adam, the beacon of positivity smacked Brenden’s back. “That’s the spirit. In all honesty, you’re a handsome guy even if your features aren’t exactly the same as other humans. Your face is a bit thinner and longer, but it kinda works.”

Brenden lightly chuckled. “I’ll take the compliment. I never thought I’d see the day where Adam got all roided up.”

Desmond cut in. “That’s what I’m saying, bro. We are so fucking back.”

I laid back and zoned out the conversation they were having.

They seem like they’re at least somewhat at ease. This world, this body, it’s scary… but so thrilling in a weird way. I have all of the experience from my old life with none of it holding me back. The night sky is so beautiful. There’s a huge moon giving off an ethereal blue glow. It’s calming, laying back and just basking in the moonlight. What do the people here call that moon? Surely it has a name. The constellations too. In this small clearing, I can see more stars than I’ve seen in any night on Earth. A dazzling galaxy, just like how I imagined the Milky Way would look. But so much more colorful and shimmering like glitter in the radiant light of the universe.

Maybe we finally have an opportunity to make something for ourselves, a second chance at life, even if we are leaving some good lives behind. I need to believe that to keep my guilt at bay. I don’t even know why I feel guilty. None of this is my fault, but now my parents and sister are probably preparing for my closed casket funeral. I’ll never see them again. I’ll never be able to properly torment my sister for no reason again. I’ll never find out if we were actually about to discover ruins by that river in Pakistan. God, what the fuck is going on anymore? How did I get here? Did God do this? Some other creator(s)? Is this how the universe works and we just didn’t know? So many questions. So many things I’m leaving behind. Having my friends here is better than nothing, though. Some familiarity is better than none. But that can’t undo the emptiness in my chest or the worry prodding at me.

Adam’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Hey, Vetia.”

“You don’t have to say it like it’s a disgusting spider.”

“Well, what’s wrong?”

I had been laying on the ground, quietly crying into my arm without realizing it. I sat up and glanced at everyone, who all had matching worry in their eyes. They knew what I was thinking about, because they were thinking about it too. I wiped away my tears and tried to put up a strong front.

“Woman emotions, probably. Thought about my family." I paused and peered into the soil, trying to think of anything to change the subject. "I think I’ll take the first watch tonight, if any of us will even sleep at all. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for a while. You guys should get some rest though. We have a whole new life ahead of us.”

The air around us grew colder as thoughts of our lost lives began slipping into our heads. Everyone grew a little mournful.

Brenden ran his hand through the ferns, “I feel that. I’m worried about them, but I don’t know what we can do. Maybe there’s a way of getting home?”

Tells tossed a stick at him. “It is what it is. Can’t change anything now.”

“Yup,” Desmond said, “gotta take it one step at a time. We had our fun earlier, but no bullshit now. We’re in the woods and we have to survive. Gotta take it a little serious, at least.”

Nobody had a response, exhausted, probably just as overwhelmed by the new information like I was. We all turned inward and the conversation died.

I sighed and stretched out my back. “Welp, sleep tight.”

I stood up and walked over to the remains of the wagon, sat on top of one of the crates, and gazed out into the darkness. I couldn’t explain it then, but I sensed every living thing around us, their locations, their feelings. The rest of the night, nothing meaningful approached as I sat there with my thoughts, quietly muttering to myself in contemplation. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t even get tired. Just hungry.

Fuck, this is gonna be a problem if I don’t figure out what’s going on with me. But I don’t wanna start doing shit in front of them. Some alone time would be nice, alone time where I don’t have to keep an eye on them.

When the sun rose, I knew I had to start this new day without regrets. I already felt bad enough for keeping information from them, but I didn’t know when the right time to tell them would be. Hell, I didn't even fully understand what was going on with me.