22

(Poison- Talk Dirty to Me)

Brenden

She walked out of the clinic like nothing in the world could break her stride. Just smiling and waving her arms around until they were outstretched in a hug.

“Come here bitches. It’s about time you thanked me for saving your asses.”

I playfully scoffed. “Who the fuck do you think ended up paralyzed trying to fix your dumb ass?”

She smiled back smugly. “Where do you think Mother Yeline got the sigil?”

Desmond sighed and chuckled. “We never should have got you those arms.”

Her smile only got smugger. “Yup, and now I’m gonna make it everyone else’s problem.”

Adam pulled us over, and we all slammed into Vetia as Adam wrapped the entire group in a huge bear hug.

“Please don’t break my body, I just got my bones working again.” She laughed again, and we all joined in. “Okay, now that you’re all close to me, we’ve gotta do something about those noble twins. Tarynn is really nice, but his sister is a miserable cunt. He’s chill alone. Only problem is she’s got him whipped, so they’re a twofer no matter what.” The hug turned into something of an awkward planning huddle. “It’s great to see you guys again, but it’s gonna suck with her around. Thanks Tells.”

“Yeah, fuck you Tells,” I said.

“Tells, you blithering idiot,” Adam said.

Desmond groaned. “Leave it to the-”

Tells cut him off. “I’m stealing your teeth when you go to sleep tonight.”

Desmond put his hand up to quell us. “I mean, can we kill her?”

Vetia was quick on the response, “Five on one? More than likely. But her crew would probably wipe the floor with us.”

I got a little worried. “Wait, were you seriously considering killing her?”

“Not like actually. I just had a lot of time to fantasize about it.”

Tells spoke up, “I talked with her yesterday about it. Lady Simira’s pretty normal, I think she just hates you because her brother likes you. She said she’s either going with us or staying until her servants come back, so meeting her crew along the way and sending them off wouldn’t be too bad.” Everyone went silent to think.

Adam whispered into the middle of us all. “You know, that feels like the logical and safest solution, but I also think getting on their good side might have its merits.”

“I kind of agree,” I said. “As long as nobody’s getting killed or hurt, I like this idea. We can try to create good relations and maybe get some help and good favor while we figure this world out a little more.” I heard footsteps behind me approaching.

Vetia spoke quietly and quickly as the footsteps got closer. “Listen, I’m getting on really well with Tarynn and she doesn’t like that. We can just ride it out, play nice, and maybe she’ll warm up once she gets to know us. I don’t know. I’m not gonna lie, she hasn’t even given me an inch, so I’ll just keep my distance.”

Footsteps halted out little huddle as we parted to see the twin brother standing there, wearing his orange outfit that matched his sister’s, except with short sleeves to his shirt, bright orange baggy pants, and sandals. It helped that he didn’t have as much jewelry as his sister, though. He didn’t have any, actually. Both his and his sister’s wardrobes had way too much orange in them, in my opinion. They definitely could have thrown in some more variety. His messy ponytail strangely complimented the loose style, but he didn’t look unkempt himself. He looked like a surfer bro with the demeanor of a preppy rich kid.

However, his demeanor was broken when Vetia ran over and jumped up to give him a massive hug like a puppy leaping to its owner at the door after a workday. That’s how the nobles saw it, at least. The four of us knew it was intended to be a full tackle, as Rowan would commonly greet us with a swift and heavy tackle to the ground if we weren’t paying attention. It translated oddly well to her now, though. She pushed him roughly, giggling mischievously while Tarynn tried to keep his balance.

“Off of him, now!” Simira barked from not even two feet away before promptly ripping Vetia away from him. She stood between them with a nearly-bursting blood vessel prominently displayed on her forehead.

Vetia sighed. “Holy shit, I’m not trying to steal him. Can we call it a truce and try to enjoy ourselves for this short trip?”

Simira tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. “Can you two keep away from each other?”

“I mess with everyone I’m close with! They’re used to it! Tarynn’s not mad!”

Simira gave a polite “fuck you” smile. “Well, that’s not how we do it here. You will keep your distance.”

Vetia groaned and gave Simira her patented “are you kidding me” look.

Tarynn’s demeanor shifted inward and away from his sister while Vetia looked at her like it was a challenge. I sighed to myself.

It’s gonna be a really long wagon ride to the city. I’m definitely gonna be on damage control the entire time.

“Well, friends of Vetia’s,” he began. He sounded really well-spoken and rich, but not too douchey. “My name is Tarynn Amien, son of the Viscount Hazjiken Amien. Please, you may refer to me by my given name. I owe Vetia for saving my life, so I ask that you treat me as you would a friend, not an authority.”

I stepped forward. “Name’s Brenden, hope we get along.”

Adam stepped up next, chest out and with a proud voice. “We met. I am Adam, the Mountain Crusher.”

Desmond walked up with his hand out. “I’m Desmond, pleasure to meetcha.” Desmond stood there awkwardly with his hand outstretched for a hand shake while Tarynn looked down at the hand, confused.

Tells pushed Desmond’s hand down as she moved up to him and blankly said “I’m Tells.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance, indeed.” Tarynn clapped his hands together and smiled at all of us.

“Well,” Ursula stepped forward from between bootleg Ariel and Prince Eric, “if we are making formal introductions, you may address me as Lady Simira Amien, honorable to the Viscount Herald Amien.” Her voice was declarative, sharp, and demanded respect.

Vetia was already walking away as Simira began her spiel, going toward the wagon. Tarynn was like a puppy split between owners, confused over who to stand near. Desmond followed Vetia and Tarynn as her speech began. Tells awkwardly walked with Desmond, then stopped when she realized the rest of us weren’t going too.

“My brother, as you likely have not been told, is committed, therefore not able to enter a relationship. I ask that we respect the boundaries of everyone and maintain a civil and friendly relationship on our way to Vehfirn.”

“Oh they’re gettin’ friendly alright!” Desmond casually yelled from the wagon.

The witch was clearly irritated by that because she looked like she wanted to lay into something as she walked to the wagon in front of me and Adam.

I was back to being in charge of the corties, and it made me a little glad because I could just focus on driving the wagon. The corties were surprisingly easy to manage, too. They were very mild-mannered, but difficult to pull off of trees when they were busy eating. It was like trying to pull an old hungry dog somewhere, but he’d always try wandering back to his food bowl. Adam helped me drag them over, and we attached their harnesses to the wagon. Both of the corties were about five feet high and ten-ish feet long. The way their bodies moved was slinky, like really big weasels.

The corties were quick. Their regular speed was around 15 miles per hour, rarely slowing down. I hadn’t seen them run, but it seemed that the large wheel design was catered to being able to support full-speed corties. I was surprised the wagon was so comfortable. I expected it to be rougher like the one we borrowed from Geren, but Desmond and I checked under the wagon and found that it had a surprisingly sophisticated suspension system that used leather straps to make it swing instead of bounce, along with rudimentary metal springs to absorb shock. In fact, most of the undercarriage was metal. Sigils probably had something to do with the oddly advanced technology, but I couldn’t say for sure.

Tells drove the wagon that Geren lent us. The witch dragged Tarynn into that very wagon and sat next to him, simmering like an angry pot at a particular redhead who was making eyes at her brother from our wagon. Their slower wagon was in front of us, so I got to sit awkwardly up front between Vetia and the twins’ eye games.

The rear wagon made for an entertaining ride. When Vetia wasn’t antagonizing the witch with her expressions, we talked about all the games, movies, concerts and other things we were missing by not being on Earth anymore. While it started a bit lamentful, it quickly turned into us shitting on each other’s tastes in entertainment and having a fierce discussion about why Jared Leto would ruin Morbius like he did the Joker.

We set up camp after a long day of riding. Having tents was like a dream. Not only was it nice to be out of the sun in the morning, but being out of the chilling night wind did wonders for my sleep. Tells watched over camp first and then woke me up. I sat in the middle of the tent circle, five nice tents and a large, overly grandiose tent that looked like one of those royal tents from a medieval war movie, one that the war meetings with one of those big tables would be in. What surprised me was how quickly the twins set it up. It seemed huge, but those two nobles put up almost as fast as we put up our tiny tents. The corties slept by the forest edge, having grazed away all the low branches of the surrounding trees and shrubs.

The sky was clear and the night world was bright from the light of both the full moons. Basking in the silence of the night and the crackling fire was exactly what I needed after a long day of stupid conversations, even if I was still lacking in sleep. The cool end-of-summer breeze strengthened the warmth of the fire. As I was staring into the fire, losing my train of thought to the hypnotic flames, I heard a rustling from one of the tents.

I crouched by the fire, sword drawn, searching for the source of the noise. I walked past each of my friends’ tents toward the treeline by the twins’ tent. The corties weren’t reacting to anything. Quietly and quickly stepping from behind the royal tent was a dark shape, moving around the edge of the camp toward the fire.

Did somebody sneak around and steal from the tents while I couldn’t hear them?

The shadow lurked closer to the fire and I noticed a large person silently slinking around. His golden orange eyes looked even more striking as he stepped into the firelight. He stood by the flames and glanced around in confusion, which was when I stepped back into the firelight in his periphery. He jumped like a scared kitten at the sight of me.

“By the- have you been watching me?” He seemed a little on guard saying that.

“Keep it down, bro. No, just heard you sneaking around. You crawling around to sneak into Vetia’s tent? Or did you just get out of there?” I plopped down and gestured to the log across the fire from me.

“Please don’t presume anything, I would never do anything to surprise her by sneaking into her tent. I have simply risen and wanted some fresh air.” For as well-spoken as he was, he sounded like he was pulling answers out of his ass.

“She’d probably like it. Anyway, listen here loverboy. I don’t really care if you two are getting all steamy in her tent together. But I’ve known all these fuckers most of my life, Vetia included, so I can’t just let some noble guy with a bitchy sister get up in our business and threaten having us arrested. I’m not worried about you, but your little relationship can’t be getting in the way of us trying to survive. Even if it isn’t you causing problems.” I nodded over to where the witch was sleeping and Tarynn smiled weakly.

“I understand. I wouldn’t be allowed to spend much time with Vetia at all, just by the nature of my position. I suppose I wanted to savor the time we had. I find it funny how she, and even you, seem to have no regard for that very position my sister- and our people- hold to such high regard. It’s endearing, in a way, to be treated as an equal by people who do not care for regality. Perhaps that is only my perception of the circumstances. I’ve never heard of somebody so brazenly speaking to my sister until she told me of Vetia. I was surprised,” he glanced toward his tent, leaned forward and whispered even lower. “I found it quite entertaining.” He leaned back again. “Maybe that’s why I grew infatuated with her. She treated us as people, not as the viscount’s heirs, not as lords. I’ve never met somebody who did that. Even my traveling partners were servants, and my sister demands the respect of every person we met. When people first meet us, we introduce ourselves as the children of a noble and suddenly it becomes impossible to foster a friendly relationship. They become subservient and I must assume my position in response.” He looked into the fire, quiet and pensive.

“Have you ever been away from your sister?”

“On occasion, but her mission as of late has largely revolved around controlling my relationships so that I do not stray from what she… needs to achieve.”

“What’s she want?”

“She arranged for me to commit to the daughter of another Lord. The woman is as miserable as they are made.”

“Wait, so you’re cheating on her… with Vetia?”

Oh fuck, no wonder Simira’s getting so worked up about it.

“Arranged, yes. Involved, no.” He eyed his tent. “It’s not uncommon for nobility to seek relationships outside of their political engagements. But my sister knows me too well. She knows my… lack of enthusiasm… for noble life. I believe she thinks I will abandon it for Vetia.”

“Would you?”

“I am sure I could find a way to retain my position, but my sister will not allow that future. She cannot foresee a future where I am without that dreadful woman.”

I paused, examining something about his general vibe that was throwing me off. “Dude, you need to loosen up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look at you. Nothing against you being smart, but everything you say sounds like you’ve got a stick up your ass. Or maybe it’s just your sister up there. Nobody’s listening to us right now, right? And there’s no way you would have come out unless your sister was definitely asleep, but you haven’t taken your eyes off that tent this whole time. Loosen up a little. Nobody’s listening or gonna try to stop you from just talking like you want to.”

I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. He looked like an anxious puppy all the time. I could only imagine his sister had him on a leash at every hour of the day, so even this conversation was a storm for him to endure.

“That’s a lie, I just started listening.” Vetia tiptoed out of her tent and sat down next to Tarynn, putting her head on his shoulder. Tarynn’s eyes sparkled when he saw her, and his shoulders even relaxed, if only just a little. “Don’t let me interrupt, it’s late night talks.”

Tarynn leaned into her and took a short breath. “I’m learning to ‘loosen up a little.’ Brenden was offering me some advice. He said I have ‘a stick up my ass.’”

Vetia started laughing and covered her mouth quickly. “Don’t take it too harshly. The stick, I mean.” She giggled. “If anyone’s got good advice for helping people get a bit more rebellious and free spirited, Brenden does. Without him and the others, my parents would have had me on a short leash and I probably woulda failed highschool. Some people need constant pressure, but others just need a little nudge the right way.”

Tarynn looked at her and then to me. “Okay, how do I loosen up? I feel quite relaxed now, actually.”

I turned toward the fire. “You do now. But that’s because we don’t care about your royal shit. I’ve got a question for you. What’s the best way to tell when somebody is being honest with you?”

“I just told him you give good advice,” Vetia playfully complained. “How are you gonna do this to me? This is not good advice.”

“It worked for you.”

“I was in eighth grade. Of course it worked then.”

“Shut up and listen to me work my magic.” I turned back to Tarynn and she sat back to listen. “So, Tarynn, how can you tell?”

He looked at the ground for a second. “When you are having a conversation around a fire in the dead of night?”

I chuckled knowing this was going to be hopeless. “Sure, that’s a good sign, but there’s one thing that really gives it away. Think of when somebody is really fuckin’ mad at you and they’re yelling at you, what are they doing?”

“Um, I presume they are reprimanding me for my unlawful actions, which I would be deserving of if I committed such actions.”

Vetia and I both sighed. Then she gasped with an idea. “Oh, I know. Tarynn, what did your sister do when she caught the two of us… uh, kissing? Y'know... the first time.”

“Oh…” He got a little embarrassed . “She called you a wretch and a wanton harlot. She becomes uncharacteristically crass when she sees you.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” I said. “When you cuss someone out or tell ‘em what you think, that’s the most honest way you can speak to them. Unfiltered and crass. Straight up. Go ahead and curse. It’s like breaking ice, getting used to cussing.”

“I don’t like cursing or saying cruel things. Perhaps I shouldn’t.”

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Vetia pulled away and sat cross-legged in front of him like she was teaching a child something. “Okay, what did you think about the fireblood that stabbed and almost killed you?”

“I thought it was an insolent and detestable creature.”

I cut in. “Okay, good, now shorten that. Pretend I’m the fireblood. What would you say to it if you were being vulgar?”

He looked apprehensive for a moment, and then he stuttered a bit before thinking of something, “C-curse you.”

I scoffed at him. “Bro, come on, you’re not gonna convince anyone you’re mad like that. Get more fiery with it. Crank it up a notch.” He seemed confused at that last phrase, which made sense in hindsight.

“Um,” he was still quiet, but he sounded more sure of himself. “Damn you, fireblood…?”

“Wow,” I said. “That wasn’t half bad. Now replace damn with fuck and try to sound like your balls aren’t tied off.”

He looked at Vetia like he was asking permission.

“The fuck are you looking at me for? Speak your mind, bro. I already know how to tell a bitch off.”

I knew as well that he needed to say this for himself, not for somebody else, even if we were teaching him how to do it. “F-fuck… you.” We both stared at him disappointedly and he seemed like he was getting nervous. “I- I don’t- I’m not sure this is for me.”

Vetia put on a New Yorker accent and loudly whispered. “I’m walkin’ here, man, fock you!”

I parodied her accent. “Yeah, man, fock you!”

We went back and forth saying “fock you” until Tarynn started smiling and quietly joining into our little cacophony of angry New Yorkers.

“F-fock you,” he weakly matched our tones.

He was getting more assertive and a little loud, so I shushed him, “Shhh… no fock you.”

“Oh, she’s a heavy sleeper, fock you.” He was starting to smile stupidly, like he was enjoying it.

I leaned back and glanced up at the sky. “See? It’s not hard, it’s just something you’ve gotta get used to, you know. Like she said, speak your mind.”

His smile faded and he looked guilty. “I don’t get mad at people very often, and I don’t like being mean.”

“You don’t have to, just keep it in your back pocket for when you do need it. Don’t let people push you around so much. That includes your sister.”

A potent silence crept in and the fire overtook our conversation.

I sighed. “You guys sure you wanna stay outside by the fire? Your sister might get up to pee or something and see you two.”

Tarynn looked at Vetia to make the decision. She got surprisingly bashful compared to her usual confidence. “Well, we haven’t even been able to have a conversation without your sister on our asses. Wanna go, like, hang out in my tent, so she won’t see us out here if she gets up?”

“I- That- We- It would be nice.”

She stood up with him and awkwardly walked all the way to her tent at the edge of camp.

Damn, she’s really just ripping that bandaid off quickly. Might not be a bad thing.

I spoke to myself. “Yeah, no. It’s been long enough and I’m not staying up knowing what’s going on in there. Sorry Desmond, but at least you won’t know it's happening.” I went over to Desmond’s tent and pulled the flap back. He looked like he was already awake, staring into the corner wide-eyed. “My watch is over. You’re up now, bud. Just don’t worry about what’s going on in Vetia’s tent and you’ll be fine.”

Desmond sat up slowly and sighed, “I hate it here.” He stepped out and sat down by the fire. “I need some fuckin’ headphones.”

“Yeah, see you in the morning.” As I was walking past the fire to my tent, I heard a flap aggressively slap the tent as the witch emerged from her hut. “Nevermind.” I sat next to grumpy Desmond and we both watched Simira disappear into the darkness behind her tent.

Desmond smirked. “Knew it.”

Simira emerged from the darkness after a minute and glanced at us tiredly. Desmond just chuckled to himself and I gave her a friendly nod. She whipped the flap back and then, not two seconds later, came storming out of the tent toward us. She halted across the fire and crossed her arms.

“Which tent is hers?”

I sighed. “Just a sec, how ‘bout we talk-”

Simira whispered in a growl, “I have granted that woman an abundance of chances to correct her behavior and she has yielded nothing. And now she’s coercing him in a final-”

“They’re not fuckin’ if that’s whatcha think,” Desmond blurted out. “They’ve just been in there talking, giggling. Sounds harmless.” Simira didn’t seem convinced. “Dude, she’s way too scared to actually take him to pound town.”

She leaned down and condescendingly explained to Desmond. “My brother is committed to a woman. She is just as physically attractive, if not more than your friend. Tarynn is only acting this way because he is enamored by the novelty of this situation.”

“I’m not sure about that,” I replied. Simira’s eyes locked onto me like I was prey. “Seems like he found somebody he’s happy to be with. Comfortable around. Somebody he might want to fall in love with. I think they’re just getting to know each other, still.”

A hint of remorse crossed her face for just a moment. “If we all gave into the whims of love, the world would have no order. He doesn’t understand that. He’s never understood duty.”

Desmond smirked. “Sounds like you’re just tryna cock block him.”

She angrily glared around the camp. “Which tent is-”

“I’m joking. Christ. You don’t have a funny bone in your body, do you?”

She halted her search and side-eyed him. “I can be quite charming when I’m not at odds with everyone around me.”

“Who the fuck says we’re at odds? I didn’t hear you challenge me.”

“You seem to be testing my patience rather nonchalantly. You must be quite the fighter if you think you can goad me in.” She got up and stood in front of Desmond, looking down on him.

Desmond pushed up from the log and met her challenge, standing only an inch or two shorter with his head cocked to the side. “I’m no warrior, but I’ve been hunting and competitively wrestling most of my life. Haven’t killed anyone. Almost beat a homeless junkie to death one time, though, hehe.” He inspected her face more closely. “Shit, woman, them's some battle scars. You got a body count?”

“161. Too many.” She raised her chin and squinted at Desmond as he whistled in admiration. “You’ve been through a lot more than your friends, haven’t you? You don’t gain confidence like that until you’ve suffered many defeats.”

“Why thank you.” Desmond smiled smugly at me. “They always say it’s because I’m a cocky asshole.”

She smirked and stepped around him to look at all the tents. “Your lack of respect for authority is what presents that guise.”

Desmond sat back down and whispered to me. “She wants me for real bro.” He turned back to her. “You looking for Vetia to present an ultimatum or something? Seems like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“How astute. Not just her. My brother too.”

I cut in. “Pass it by us. We know her and how she might react. Might be able to help you tweak it so it ends favorably for us all. Believe it or not, we don’t want to be at odds with you guys as much as you think.”

She sighed. “A mediator will not be necessary.”

“Do you want to explode on each other again? Because that’s probably how it’ll go regardless. Listen, Lady Simira, we don’t know your customs or anything. I’m just trying to get us to the city without starting more shit.”

Simira made a wide loop around the fire and then sat down on the log across from us. “She has one option to stay with him. She will work as my house’s regenerator until Tarynn’s arrangement has been finalized, then he may keep her as a mistress. That is as lenient as I will be.”

Desmond snorted. “Oh fuck no, she’s not gonna accept that.”

I thought for a moment while Simira eyed me. “She won’t split up from us. If they stay together she'll want to take him with us, and I don’t think any of us would wanna stick around in the city that long. But I don’t think she’s planning on staying with him. We’re in a weird situation, and we’re still trying to find answers to some things.”

She longingly sighed and stared into the fire, then returned to her frustrated gaze. “So she does not love him enough to wait, and I reckon he does not love her enough to pull her from you. Naturally, they should split, no?”

“I think she’s thinking of it as a fling.”

“We don’t fling our love as animals fling their shit for a good reason.”

I shrugged. “I’m just sayin’ how it is.”

“Should deliberations tonight end without clean resolution, would you dissuade her from pursuing Tarynn? For the sake of our amicability.”

Desmond and I shared a glance and he nodded.

I took a deep breath. “I don’t see why we couldn’t. I’d prefer if we could all talk it out, but-”

Simira snapped a little. “They’re children. They’re living in a fantasy, an idealistic world where there are no repercussions for their naïveté. Is she dull or mentally unstable? Can she not realize this? Even Tarynn has expressed doubt.”

“Honestly, she’d usually have compromised on something by now, at least from our experience. She got pretty fucked up from fighting those bugs. Might be taking a toll on her.”

Desmond gasped lightly and raised his eyebrows in surprise at hearing something.

Simira glared at him. “What?”

“Oh,” Desmond chuckled and pointed to Vetia’s tent, “I can hear them. Sounds like things are heating up, if you catch my drift. Take it easy, wouldja?”

“She will not get what she wants.” Simira shot up and stomped to the edge of camp, where Vetia and Tarynn were. I ran over to monitor while Desmond reluctantly followed.

Simira ripped the flaps open and angrily turned her head to the two inside. “Take that nasty hand off of his cheek!” She pulled her brother out. He stumbled out and stood next to us while Simira blocked Vetia from the rest of us.

“Oh, God forbid I so sinfully touch his cheek!” Vetia complained from inside the tent like a teenager who’d just been caught by her parents.

Simira waited for Vetia to stand, and then plainly asked her, “Do you want to stay with my brother?”

She didn’t know how to respond. “I- uh… kinda.”

“Pledge yourself to our house, work as our regenerator, and then once Tarynn’s arrangement is complete, you may become his mistress and live out the rest of your days as such.”

Vetia raised her eyebrows in offense. “You want me to be his side piece and your little servant? What, do you think I’m just with him to be his trophy mistress?”

“It’s your only option if you want him.”

“Why can’t you just let your brother live his life? You think he wants to be in the arrangement? Do you think-”

Simira loomed over Vetia, a silent rage consuming her. “You know nothing about either of our lives. Don’t pretend you know what’s best for him. I am giving you the only offer I can. No addendums, no clauses, no amendments. Do you accept it?”

“Why can’t he just come with us and-”

Simira snapped, quietly yelling into Vetia’s face. “And abandon his life?! His duty to his people?!” She turned to her brother. “We made the agreement long, long ago. I go to war. I inherit the house. I learn the politics. I take on the responsibility of rulership. And he… commits to a political arrangement. Oh, the pain, the suffering you must endure from being condemned to live in splendor with a beautiful woman and have no responsibilities otherwise. With as many mistresses as you’d like to take as well. Truly lamentable indeed.” She turned back to Vetia. “He doesn’t know how to live without servants and he is too fragile to do anything for himself.”

Vetia stood on her tiptoes and got back into Simira’s face. “If he can have mistresses, then why is this an issue? Seriously.”

“I cannot explain to politics of the situation in all the time left in the night, so I will be brief. The Lord and I who made this, with Tarynn as the willing committee, cannot have loose ends during this process. If he goes so far as to fornicate with you and commit a legally adulterous act that results in a bastard heir, there will be irreparable damage done to the political landscape of Vehfirn. I cannot have that.”

Vetia smiled and raised her arms agreeingly. “Great! We won’t tell anyone. I didn’t plan on doing anything like that with him anyway.”

“Pft, I’ve met less dignified whores with more convincing lies. You will cease. Should you still desire him afterward, then by all means, approach him and he may have you. For now, there will be no more of this.”

Vetia’s growing sneer curled into a challenging grin. “Even if we did do something legally adulterous, we’re not in Vehfirn. Those laws don’t apply here.”

Simira’s jaw flexed in writhing hatred. “You know nothing of the laws of my city. Do not pretend you have some heightened understanding of them.”

“Then enlighten me, Lady Simira, honorable to the Viscount and heiress to the seat of power, what punishment shall I receive for committing unlegislated, admittedly immoral, acts outside of your legal jurisdiction?”

Simira’s pissed off jaw turned into a murderous grin. “In a realm outside of my jurisdiction, where there are no witnesses save for our own eyes and ears, I do wonder what would happen. After all, I’m also unbound from those laws here just as much as you. Remember that, and the moment you enter my city, those laws do apply so long as there are or were witnesses. And I think the people would certainly question the disappearance of a noble over a nobody.” Simira stepped forward, pushing Vetia back. “I’ve studied these laws my entire life, knowing I would be the one to execute them. I know everything I can and cannot do, and where those laws apply.”

“So what, you’re gonna kill me because you’re too petty to let your brother enjoy his life for a little bit?”

"For harmless fun, no. Why do you think we’re out here? We were hunting the fireblood that your friends respectably captured. I wanted to show my brother something other than the walls of the manor.”

“Seems like it harmed him until I came around.”

Simira lowered her face to Vetia’s. “That is the only reason I am affording you such lenience. I am grateful that you were there. But that does not mean I will tolerate your recklessness. Your immaturity.”

“I have a question for you, Lady.”

“No.”

“Why can’t your brother have any say in this? Surely you don’t own him.”

“He gave his word to me long ago.”

“What if his mind has changed?”

Simira pulled back from her in disgust. “Well, I suppose it makes sense that a flimsy hussie would have no sense of honor or dignity. She would know nothing of a word’s bond. Do you truly believe that I was not pushed into this position? That he did not have a part in wallowing at my boots to take his place as heir? That I am not honoring my word to protect him?”

“I think you’re desperate to be right, even though you know this has no consequences.”

Simira aggressively raised her hand to grab Vetia’s jaw before hovering it in place, peering over her shoulder at us. “Consequences?! What happens when you inevitably leave him after he has fallen for you, and he is forced to return to a woman he hates, who he must spend the rest of his life with?! Will he not be even more miserable knowing he could have had someone he loves more, but who left him for her own selfishness?! Think beyond solely yourself, lecher. I will not have you toying with his heart with no intent of following through. For his own wellbeing.”

Vetia clenched her jaw. “We’re still figuring out if we want to continue this! That’s the point!”

Then she chuckled and turned around, smiling frivolously like she knew exactly how this would turn out. “Very well then. She won’t stay at the manor, so Tarynn, you may have your fantasy at her whims. Go off and throw your nobility away. Travel with these commoners and never return home. If that is what you wish to do, then do it. Forsake everything I and our servants have ever done for you. You may have love and joy for the rest of your life. Become a tradesman or a farmhand. I’m sure your soft hands and extensive knowledge of fiction, history, and poetry will yield a plentiful life for you in the role of a laboring commoner, if you truly wish to abandon your life for a flighty love.” Simira stepped aside. “Choose. Her, or your comfortable life.”

“Oh come on, that’s-” Vetia started until Simira shushed her motherly.

“This is his decision. Not yours. Let him use his free will to decide.”

Tarynn’s lips quivered as his words struggled to form. “I- I can’t say until-”

“Your decision is made,” Simira cut him off. “She will not relinquish her freedom, and he will not relinquish his livelihood. That is not love, that is children toying with each other’s hearts.” She turned to Vetia and spoke definitively. “You have tried me to the end of my patience. I have extended what graciousness I can. Any further advances on my brother, and I will not be so forgiving. I cannot allow your risky behavior. You will not touch him, you will not speak to him. You will go on with your life as though neither of us existed for the duration of our time together. You do not want to know the lengths I will go to for his life to be secure. Act like the adult you are and wait or move on.”

She waited, expecting a response. But when Vetia didn’t say anything, “A simple yes, or even, okay, will do. I know you won’t apologize, but you could at least swallow your pride and be content with what you have.”

“Sure.”

“Good.”

Simira pushed Tarynn to their tent and the camp was engulfed in silence as she lingered for a moment, eying the frustratedly defeated Vetia back into her tent.

Desmond and I sighed with relief before Simira glanced back over at us.

“Shit,” Desmond admired with a chuckle, “I’m surprised. I thought she was gonna end up with a gnarly bruise.”

Simira raised an eyebrow at him. “You take pleasure in seeing your companions in pain?”

“Don’t be putting words in my mouth. Some people just, y’know, need a lil smackin’ to remind ‘em how to put some respect on your name.” He popped a punch at the air in front of him.

She reluctantly chuckled, then gave up her facade and smirked in exhaustion. “Too many people.”

I broke out of my tired trance. “Had me worried there’d be a fight.”

“Fight?” Desmond slapped his knee. “Good one, Brenden. That shit woulda been a fuckin’ beat down, man.” Simira broke down laughing into her hand, so Desmond doubled down. “Vetia would be a pile of mush. Damage control woulda been a nightmare. Glad we avoided a murder.” He pointed at her. “Whatchu laughin’ about Simira? You know as well as I do how bad it’d be.”

She breathed through her laughter and relaxed out of her proper ways, casually smiling with a slight playfulness in her eyes. “Don’t stoke the flame of my ego too much or I could become quite the handful.”

“That ain’t ego, I’ve had my ass beat enough to know talk from game. You’ve definitely beat a motherfucker down before. At least a couple.”

Simira entertained him. “Not as many as I wish I could. Picking fights in the moment, ooh, it can be alluring. But I keep myself in check. No matter how much I train, I’ve got the natural disadvantage.”

“Eh, you make up for it, tellin’ em off like that. Remind me not to argue with you.”

“Clever. And I won’t tussle with you.”

“I dunno, you’re packin’ heat in those arms. You do martial arts?”

“I have almost my whole life. You said you’re a wrestler? I only know a little defensive grappling and throwing.”

“Yep, had to learn it young. What’s your style?”

“It’s a mix of martial arts and sigils. But I can’t just tell you all my secrets. I need them to win.” She crossed her arms and smirked.

Desmond raised his chin and returned the smirk. “See, I don’t know sigils. I was always wrestling bigger guys, though, so I’m a master of fightin’ dirty. Might be useful to know. I could show you some tricks if you’re interested.” He shot her a playful wink.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I need to know a master very well before I do any learning. How do I know you’re not a farce?”

“You have my word.”

She pondered that for a brief moment. “Then we’ll see the value of your word with time.”

They shared a strange, charged moment of silence before Desmond nudged my arm. “See, she ain’t as bad as Vetia made her out to be. Lighten up a little.”

My tired eyes glanced between them. “Kids, please save the fighting for when I’m asleep.”

Simira rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Kids, hah. I take it the two of you are their parents, more or less?”

Desmond burst out laughing. “Yup! I’m the dad and Brenden’s the mom.”

I punched his arm. “Fuck you. I’m the dad. You’re like the weird alcoholic uncle.”

“Goddamn right.”

Simira stretched her back and cracked her neck. “Fatherhood or uncleship aside, you must have a lot of strife with that one in her rebellious phase.”

“Aaaah,” Desmond casually waved it away. “She’ll realize her actions have consequences eventually.”

I nodded confidently. “I hope so. We can keep her wrangled easily enough, though. Don’t gotta worry about Tells at all, and Adam’s only bad in the morning.”

“Your troop admittedly has a lot of potential, even her if I’m to be honest. Some guidance and direction would do you lot well.”

I put my hands out, inviting her to sit. “We’re open to suggestions.”

Desmond pointed a little more demandingly. “Kick your feet up. You ain’t gotta worry about noble duties right now. Look around, the forest is asleep and the children have been put to bed.” He smiled invitingly. “Dunt have to be long, just some time to relax.” She bit her cheek, so he shrugged. “Like I said, you ain’t at odds with us.”

She quietly sighed, her longing eyes flickering between the fire and Desmond. “I’ve already afforded myself more than I deserve.” She smiled through it and shook her head. “I will only desire more the longer I indulge.”

Desmond nodded with an understanding smile. “Well then Simira, good night. Or… Lady Simira, I suppose.”

Her smile faded as her hand waved him off and she turned away. “At ease.”

I nodded to her. “Sleep well.”

“Likewise to the both of you.”

Desmond and I shared a glance and a fist bump, then I patted his shoulder and went into my own tent.