41
(Paramore- Ain’t it Fun)
Desmond
Bells in my head. Ringing and beating against my skull. Of course I was hungover, just like every other morning. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to remember everything that happened in the last twenty four hours.
I had a few drinks at the pleasure parlor, a few more when I went out walking, and a few more while I was out bar hopping. I remember buying a bottle of something strong and walking around the park drinking, but that was it. Yup, it’s safe to say I blacked out.
The room was as bright as my recollection of things. I peaked out the window, greeted by the hazy moons high up on their pedestals of stars. It had to be the middle of the night.
I caught the scent- or stench, rather- of vomit and booze from Brenden, who was curled up on his bed, cradling half a loaf of bread and laying on top of now-smashed cheese. I hobbled over, set his food on the table, covered it, and pulled the blanket over him. The cheese was nice and sharp, a little too warm for my taste though.
As I opened the bedroom door, light flickered in from the glowing stones in the hall. Almost instantly, bed sheets were thrown aside and Brenden zoomed like a flash of light down the hall in the same direction I was going.
I found him panting and sweaty, washing his hands in the bathroom. A rather putrid stench wafted from the toilet. We made eye contact, but didn’t say anything. I pissed and met him back at the water spout, where he was cleaning vomit off his mouth and chest, and some blood off his swollen ear.
“Jesus, man. What happened to you?”
He croaked. “Rough day.” Brenden lowered his head to the spout and washed out his mouth, rubbing cleaning paste around on his teeth and tongue.
“I’m gonna clean off and go to the baths. You coming?”
He sighed and held his hand still for a moment. “Uh, yeah. Gimme a minute.”
“Kay. Cool.”
For as gaudy as Hallax hall could be, it was clean and nice. Having decently advanced plumbing in a world that was basically medieval Europe was a really nice feature, though. And hot water, holy shit. It had to be sigils or something that kept the water warm unless I didn’t know about Hallax’s secret underground bath warmer sweatshop. I stood under one of the six faucets and just let the water run over me, calming my head and my hangover while I washed off, drinking more water than I was washing with. It wasn’t just showers either. Sure, you could shower if you needed to clean up quickly, but relaxing in the hot baths was such a treat, even if they were communal. It was unlike anything I was used to in America, but fuck, they really needed to make baths more popular back there.
Brenden waded his way through the bath and plopped down about five feet away from me. He sat there all brooding-like, mean mugging me while I was trying to relax.
He was starting to scare me a little. I hadn’t seen him this grumpy since Adam allegedly backed into his dog. “Somebody piss in your ale, or did you just do that ‘cause you liked it so much last time?”
“You don’t remember, do ya?”
“Remember wha- ah fuck, what did I do?”
Brenden didn’t look surprised at all, just bitchier every second. He pushed his hair back and sighed. “You tried to wingman for me and now Miriel thinks the only reason I was talking to her is because I wanted to, in your words, lay pipe.”
Yep, sounds like me. Ah, little blips are coming back now.
“Okay, listen-”
“Desmond, if you try to justify yourself, I’m gonna pour boiling water down your dick hole.”
“I wasn’t gonna. But, now that I’m remembering it, she did say she liked you back!”
“As if she wasn’t just saying that to get your dog-ass outta her room.”
“Bruh-”
“Don’t you fucking Bruh me!”
“No, wait! Just, like, it’s not all bad. I may have fucked up a little, but there is a silver lining.”
“Desmond, two weeks ago you were talking about how Vetia got too comfortable and fucked things up, and now you’re doing the exact same thing.”
“I know! But I’m done drinking and going to see Fera!”
“Yeah, no shit. You don’t have any more money to do any of that because you spent it all on booze and hookers!”
“She is a high class woman who fucks like a professional.”
“She doesn’t care about you, Desmond! She just wants your money! You’re simping for a hooker!” He leaned toward me and whispered seethingly. “And she’s Hallax’s daughter, you dumb fuck!”
“Holy shit! What are you, my dad?”
“Somebody’s gotta be apparently!”
“No, you don’t have to be! I’ve got myself sorted now. Downtime just reminded me of everything I was missin’ and I’ll own that, honest. Gotta break to know how to fix yourself. I’m used to it.”
“I get it, you had a hot future ahead of you, and now you’re stuck here with us. You’re not the only one who misses your old life.”
“You’re goddamn right I had a hot future ahead of me! Internship secured with Lockheed Martin. I was gonna be rolling in dough offa designing the orphanage obliterator 3000! Was gonna get a house, a dog, a fuckin’ Bugatti, bro! I’d propose to Kaylee somewhere awesome or something! We’d get… married and have kids and… and-”
I couldn’t talk. My throat seized up and my eyes hurt like I wanted to cry, but didn’t have the tears to spare. I dunked my head into the water quickly and sat back.
“Ah fuck, I didn’t tell y’all about Kaylee, did I?”
Brenden’s tone lightened. “Not by name. Just mentioned her when you were drunk.”
“Course I did. Listen, I’ve just been trying to forget all that, but it, uh, it ain’t easy forgetting about the woman I was planning the rest of my life around.”
“Don’t blame ya. You also said your hearing and seeing were getting bad when you ran low on jzanmah.”
“Go figure. Just forget about it. I was-”
Brenden scoffed. “Bitch, I’m not forgetting that. You ruined my friendship with Miriel because you got lost in the sauce. And you ruined yourself! You can’t be doing that! I’m making sure it never happens again. You’re cutting back on sigil use in performances. Instruments only. Your voice is gonna stay as is until you figure out how to conserve energy better.”
It irks me how right he is. What a jackass, always caring so much.
He continued. “We said we were gonna play it like we do our music, on feeling. If you’re not feeling those sigils, then we won’t use ‘em. Simple as.”
I didn’t respond. I hung my head down and stared at my reflection in the water.
I look good. Like, really great, but I ain’t the same me. I ain’t living up to who I wanna be. I’m acting like a whiny kid who can’t grow up. Too much thinking, getting into my own head is a sure shot for wanting to drink again. I gotta think about something else.
“What happened with you? Ear’s all fucked. And you looked like shit earlier.”
He glanced at me, touched his ear, and then sunk deeper into the water. “Went out to pick up some sigils for Hallax. Some spectral ones for me. Got caught up at the bar where I was picking them up because Adam and a bunch of the guards from Simira’s place came to drink. The blue guy from her wagon, guess his name is Andris, was buying rounds for everyone in the bar, myself included.”
“Wait, you talked to Adam?! How’s he doing? Did you find out about the others.”
“I didn’t talk to him. Covert shit and all, I kept my head down. Listened to him and Andris talk. I guess Adams doing really good. Killed some big animal called a rimuzim that’s been fucking the guards up in the arena for a while.”
“Arena? The hell?”
“I don’t know, man, I’m just telling you what I heard. Nothing much else, to be honest. But yeah, the guards pressured me into drinking 3 bigass steins of ale, so I dipped using an invisibility sigil that half-worked and wound up taking the gildway back. Rested a bit there because I was feeling sick, and Dex found me. He was peeved that Miriel wasn’t talking to him or something, so he…”
I had only seen Dex a few times, but he seemed like a jag. “Brenden, what’d he do?”
“Nothing really. But he told me that Miriel would complain about me to him after I’d leave and that she was tired of talking to me. Got mad at me cause he thinks I’m using my nyadin-ness as a free ticket into her pants and crunched my ear.”
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“Fuckin’ what? Is he dating her?”
“He didn’t say anything about it.”
“Betcha ten bucks he’s fulla shit ‘n tryna white knight for his nyadin queen.”
“I don’t know, man.”
“But you laid him out though, right? You fuck him up?”
“Huh?”
Nah. No way Brenden let Dex get away with it.
“Brenden. Did you beat his ass for getting all up on you?”
“I was drunk and sick. I couldn’t…”
“Couldn’t? Or didn’t?”
“I didn’t even think of it because I was about to throw up again!”
“So you’re telling me that he found you drunk and sick and decided to fuck with you?”
“Pretty much! Desmond, it’s good now. We’re not staying here forever anyway. It might just be better to let these kinds of things go.”
“Bro, have you seen your ear? That’s not the kind of thing you just ‘let go.’ That motherfucker can’t just walk all over you like that!”
“I know! I’m gonna talk with Miriel today and ask her what’s goin’ on. I just want everything to be clear so I don’t overstep or anything.”
“No, Brenden-”
“Desmond. Shut the fuck up for a second. Think about it, wouldn’t you be pissed if a dude was trying to cuck you?”
I looked at him and scratched my stubbled chin in irritation. “Yeah. Uh-huh.”
“Okay, so I’m gonna talk to her. We’ll figure it out then.”
“Fine.” I sighed and shook my head.
That Dex motherfucker’s gonna get it.
“I’m done. I’m pissed now.” I stood up and trudged out of the bath.
“Where are you going?”
“Where do you think? Everyone’s asleep and shit. Back to the room.” I lied, but he was staying in the bath so it didn’t matter. I was gonna jump that asshole. I finally remembered what went down in Miriel’s clinic. I told her Brenden liked her. She was embarrassed and stuff. Said it was all really fast, but she was “taking fancy to him.” That ain’t a woman in a relationship. Dex was just an ugly shitbag.
I threw my clothes back on and walked around the residence area.
No name plates or anything at the doors is a pain in the ass, and I don’t know what room he’s in. No, I have super hearing and shit. I can find him myself.
“You’re up late.” I heard a familiar voice behind me, Hestrel’s.
“Yeah. It’s been tough sleeping. I fucked up earlier.”
Hestrel chuckled and leaned on the wall. He was wearing a baggy offwhite shirt and some loose brown pants, barefoot. “I didn’t hear everything, but it certainly sounds like you caused a ruckus.”
“Yeah, something like that. I heard Dex was pretty mad about it, so I wanted to talk to him. Figured he’s probably still up, just don’t know which room he is.”
“Pfft. Dex? Angry about somebody talking with Miriel? He could never be so jealous.” Hestrel spoke pretty monotone, but I could tell he was definitely trying to joke.
“Yeah. Just want to talk to him.”
Hestrel side-eyed me, “He’s in that room. Don’t be too rough, he’s stupid but he’s in a bad situation.”
“Thanks, Hestrel. ‘preciate it.”
“Hah. Good luck.”
He sauntered past me and disappeared around the corner as I reached Dex’s door. The handle was locked, damn.
Eh, couldn’t hurt knocking.
A couple knocks later, Dex opened the door, shirtless, with some stained beige boxers on.
He growled his words. “Why are you here?”
“Lighten up. I’m here to clear things up about earlier. Mind if I come in?”
Dex glared me up and down, then opened the door the rest of the way and stepped aside. The room wasn’t much different from mine and Brenden’s, just halved. One bed, one desk, one chair, and a small table.
He sat in the chair, so I hopped onto his bed to sit before quickly standing to lean somewhere instead.
“You ever wash these sheets? They’re crunchy as fuck, dude.”
“Are you here to criticize my hygiene or come to an understanding?”
“Maybe both if the table’s got as many kids as the sheets.” I leaned on his table and sighed. “I just wanted to make sure neither of us are… overstepping. You and Miriel, are you together? Like a couple?”
Dex pushed the limp white mohawk of hair back over his head. “She won’t see me that way, but I am working to change that.”
“Haven’t y’all been traveling around together for a while? You’ve had plenty of time.”
He rolled his eyes and gritted his serrated teeth. “It’s not that simple. She knows of my interest, but she thinks we’re not compatible, as she says.”
“Okay, sounds reasonable. She doesn’t like you in a romantic kind of way.”
He scoffed. “You are both such fools. Miriel believes that I am not capable of having children with her because I am dorstun.”
I took a bet that dorstun was probably the race he belonged to. “I think I understand what’s going on here.”
“I doubt such a thing.”
“You got rejected and butthurt, so now you’re gonna try and scare away all the competition. That sound right?”
He shot up from his seat and stepped up to me. He stood a little taller than me, trying to puff up and get in my face, but he was still scrawny. “If you were worried about overstepping, then I fear you have tripped and fallen far beyond the line.” He brandished his gnarly chompers with a grim edgelord smile.
“Dex, you’re claiming territory that’s already told you to go fuck yourself. I’d say you’ve crossed more lines than I have.” I was gonna reach for his ear, but I forgot his ears were divots, like little funnels on either side of his head. So I held my hand in place. “Oh, I see! You’re self conscious about the craters on your head, so you wanted to make Alex’s ears look worse. Am I on the money?”
He tilted his head to each side, cracking his neck. “What did he tell you of me?”
“Not enough, honestly. He’s way nicer than I am. Seemed to think you were justified in what you did. But me? I didn’t think you’d be this much of a toolbag.” My insult seemed to land, he just didn’t know what it meant.
“What? Bah! Get out!” He grabbed my arm.
YEAH HE HIT THE GO BUTTON FIRST!
“My bad. Allow me to rephrase.”
I snapped my head forward and slammed it into the bridge of Dex’s nose. Dex recoiled in a daze, falling back into the chair. I went in to slip around the back of his chair and get him in a headlock, but he swung an elbow toward my stomach, narrowly missing. Dex shot up and wiped the river of blood running from his nose.
“Who do you think you are?! I’m a protected race! One of the last of my kind!” He raised his hands in front of his face and assumed a fighting stance.
“That protection sucks, bro! Didn’t even stop my head! By the way,” I lied with a big toothy grin. “I actually just got done talking to Alex. He’s on his way to spill the beans about how you attacked him. And guess who he’s telling!”
Dex’s face turned pale and his eyes darted between me and the door, which I was standing in front of.
“Hey, Dex!” I whistled at him. “Over here, boy.”
Fuck, I forgot how fun it is to beat up a loser.
Dex’s nose contorted as his face raged with hate for me. Suddenly he leapt, fist first. I ducked just in time for it to scrape the top of my head and wrapped my arms around his waist as hard as I could. He was already off balance from the attack, so I pressed up while carrying his momentum forward and threw the fucker over my shoulder. He landed with a hard thud onto his back. Blood spurted from his nose with a gasp and his head cracked on the hardwood floor.
I stood over him, a little worried I might have given him more brain damage. His ivory eyes rolled open lazily.
“Oh, good, you’re still awake.” I crouched next to his head and hooked a finger in his ear hole. I pulled his head toward me and talked right into his ear. “Feels pretty fuckin bad gettin’ your shnoz beat out of the blue, dunnit? Listen, Dex, I don’t give a shit who you wanna fuck or how many of y’alls there are left. A lonely horny piece of shit is still a piece of shit no matter how much ya polish it, and I burn shit on people’s doorsteps for fun. So do me a favor and keep your crusty nasty hands off my fuckin’ friend. Capeesh?”
I released Dex’s head. He turned to me and furrowed his brow, spitting a glob of blood and saliva onto my cheek. I hit him with a left hook to his nose and stood up, wiping my cheek off. It really pissed me off, like to an unusual degree. My anger got the better of me and I stood over him, right between his legs.
I pointed to his crotch. “Do dorstun have their dicks in the same spot as everyone else?” His eyes went wide with fear, and before he could respond I stomped my heel into his crotch. A high pitched wheeze escaped his mouth which continued into a stream of groans.
Must be a yes.
The door slammed open behind me and I felt a pair of meaty arms wrap under my armpits and lock together behind my head, lifting me onto my toes. Zerick’s voice caught my ear.
“What in the looker’s goin’ on?!”
I kept myself from thrashing around, but I was still scrambling to get proper footing. “For the record, he hit me first. I was just checkin’ in cause loverboy here got jealous and jumped my friend.”
Zerick growled and turned me around, out the door. “Is this true, Dex?! You hurt somebody again?!”
Dex finally had a look of lucidity about him and he sat up in panic. “Move! Move! I can’t let him tell her!” Dex weakly pulled himself up on Zerick and tried to run out the door, but Zerick grabbed the back of his boxers and Dex tripped face first into the floor.
Zerick turned to me, glanced between us, me out the door and Dex on the floor of the threshold. “What, are you after Miriel too, now?”
“Nah, we chillin’. I’m just settin’ things straight for my boy.”
Zerick slumped in Dex’s chair and leaned back. “Every time I think it’s going well, Dex gets jealous. I will be reporting this. And Dex, you ain’t gettin’ off easy on this one. Hallax is hearing about it.”
“Yeah. Seems about right. I’ll gladly tell him exactly what happened.”
Instantaneously, Dex jumped up and darted down the hallway, disappearing around the corner. Zerick and I both stood in shock as his footsteps dissipated, and Zerick got up to follow.
He groaned to himself. “Where is he going?!”
“I’d bet Miriel’s boutta get a full view of those nasty underoos.”
Zerick grabbed my arm, sighing. “Just- fuckin- follow me. You’re spending the night in a cell until Hallax can see you.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s cool.”
Eh, could be worse.
We located Dex by the horrified scream that erupted from Miriel down the hallway. There Dex stood, in front of her door wearing nothing but boxers, lower face covered in blood and bulging eyes like a psychopath.
“What did he tell you?! What did he say?!” Dex grabbed the dazed and drowsy Miriel by the shoulder and shook her until she pushed away from him.
“Dex?! What are you-!” She retreated into her room as Zerick swiped Dex away.
Zerick put himself between Dex and Miriel. “Sorry, Miriel. Go back to sleep, it was just a little roughing around with the boys.” After shutting her door, he grabbed each of us by the arm and pulled us down a level to some dungeon.
I smiled and winked at Dex, who glared like he wanted me dead.
The metallic style remained throughout the dungeon, but it was more tarnished and less clean. I hopped into the cell that Zerick opened, while he had to basically throw Dex into the cell across from me and lock him in.
Zerick pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Go to sleep. Lord Hallax will see to you in the morning.”
* * * * *
Apparently, leading off with “He hit me first, I regret nothing” was not the ideal play.
“I will not tolerate barbarism in my hall. Both of you were brought in benevolently and with great generosity. Your services are valuable to me, and I will not allow this to happen again. Dex and Eddie, you will both be kept under watch by guards while you have leisure time on Hall grounds. Subsequently, you will both serve at guard posts as repentance. Hestrel will oversee Eddie and Zerick will oversee Dex. Your pay will be my forgiveness. Hestrel, assign them to their posts accordingly. You are dismissed.”
So that was that. I was stuck on guard duty with Hestrel. If I wasn’t rehearsing or performing, I was standing at the front gate checking people who came to Hallax Hall. Dex got the worst end of it, though. Now he couldn’t talk to Miriel whenever he wanted, and I wasn’t around to bug Brenden. Brenden never told me about his conversation with Miriel. In fact, he didn’t talk to me for three days after I beat Dex up. He was pissed at me for “acting like a kid,” but things seemed to be going well between him and Miriel afterwards, so I couldn’t complain.