40
(The Wallflowers- One Headlight)
Brenden
We didn’t make much money from the first night of performing, or at least it didn’t seem like much. A couple of the gold coins. I hadn’t figured out how much money that was, but it probably meant the silver coins were worth a lot. At least Hallax was glad to hear about the positive response to our music.
However, Desmond was suddenly always busy now. I barely got the chance to talk with him anymore, which irritated me to no end. Him being busy was a good thing, but he seemed like he was starting to take everything for granted. Rehearsing was fun, but he was too tired to do anything afterward because of the sigils, so most days he would just leave right after and I wouldn’t see him until the next afternoon.
We had a large room to ourselves, but I was the only one living in it. Two very fine beds, two desks, our instruments, and a table that we never really found a use for, so it was just piling up with our shit. Thankfully, the furnishings weren’t all gold. They were made from wood of similar color to bronze, but it was still an improvement from the excessive gold and brass. Hallax was still working on finding me more spectral energy sigils to study with, but it was taking a hell of a long time. I found myself gravitating toward hanging out with Hestrel, Zerick, Miriel, and even Dex.
Hestrel was typically on guard duty at the front gate, so I’d go out there and shoot the shit with him on slow days. Miriel was usually busy researching or making things with her ingredients, so I tried not to bother her too often. And still, I would find myself in there talking to her about nyadin society, and even just Rhial in general, for hours. She had an interesting life, and every time she said one thing, I would have twenty more questions about that. I was a little worried that she was getting annoyed with me, but if she was, she was good at hiding it. A lot of the time, Zerick would find me in there and ask for a hand in training. He was a big guy with a big shield, and he said he liked working on combat drills with me because I was quick. I got around him easily, and he wanted to get better at reacting to fast opponents. It was helpful to me as well. I learned a lot of basic combat, and he showed me a lot about wielding shortswords and daggers. Apparently, he taught Dex all the basics when they were younger, and Dex taught himself after he didn’t have any more to learn from Zerick. Zerick and Dex were basically joined at the hip. The only times they were apart were when Zerick was training with me or when Dex was talking with Miriel. It seemed like Zerick wasn’t a big fan of Miriel, or maybe just conversation in general. I found out that the four of them, including Al’Li, had been traveling together for a while. I never spoke to Al’Li after the banquet, though. It seemed like she was kind of the odd one out. Her only real friend here was Miriel. I never found out why they all started traveling together, but I did find out that it started with just Miriel and Alli, then Hestrel joined in, and they found Zerick and Dex a couple cities over before stopping here at the beginning of the summer, or a little under half a year ago.
“Deep in thought?” Hallax’s voice broke through my focus and I accidentally pressed all my fingers down on the uisukaifo keys. The jarring sound sent my head up directly to him, behind me. He had asked me to start practicing uisukaifo in his workspace. He said it helped him focus while he did desk work.
“Uh, yeah. Sorry. Did you want something?”
“Alex, your hands aren’t being hurt when you train with Zerick, correct?” He wove his fingers together and leaned his head on them.
“No. I have the gloves you gave me. Besides, Zerick hasn’t landed a solid hit on me yet. The shield’s so big and he can’t move it fast enough.”
“They’re awfully short exercises, are they not?”
“I get winded really quickly when I’m going as fast as I can.”
He paused and leaned back in his chair. “Hm, cancel training today. A contact of mine informed me that they are willing to sell some sigil planks. Some are spectral, so I plan to purchase them. They come at a large cost, which means you will put them to good use.”
If I’m not clear about my intentions now, things might get messy down the road.
“Lord Hallax, you know that, uh, Eddie and I don’t plan to stay here forever. We’re really glad that you’ve been so kind to us, and we want to be able to pay you back, but we do eventually want to go out and see the world.”
Hallax chuckled. “I am aware. I never expected you to stay long. And if you think you’re not paying me back, you are. Eddie will be crafting me some complementary song tokens. And you’ll have a minor part to play in the plan using your sigils.”
That’s another thing I’m not sure of. The plan. We know so little about it, but we’re just going along.
“I don’t know if I’m asking too much, but what’s the end game with this plan of yours? I know Riviera said it’s like a political overthrow of the Amiens, but what does that mean for us? Are we gonna be on the chopping block if this goes ass-up?”
Hallax laughed deeply to himself for a moment. “Alex, your manner of speech is so distant from your music. It is utterly amusing. Regardless, I expect you to be more respectful in the future. Clean your language up. I may overlook your casualness from time to time because I am fond of your music and I know your lack of worldliness, but not everyone you meet will be so understanding.”
“Apologies, Lord Hallax.”
I’m a dipshit. Here I am spouting bullshit about our rules to the others and I’m not even keeping up.
“Better.” He hummed in thought. “This plan ends when Viscount Amien is deposed. Count Wey will be informed of the plan to try Amien once we receive our end of the bargain from our insider. From there, we will wait for an agreed upon time where the most important piece of evidence will be gathered. It is one piece, but it will be the dagger in the heart of that old bastard. You will be an important part of that step. Our contact in the manor needs a spectral witness from outside House Amien, but one which is tied to a reputable noble house. Unfortunately, the five mercenaries here are too well known to be let into House Amien without Rezyn taking notice. However, you and Eddie are not yet known to him. You will perform there, and while you are on break, you will go with the contact to gather the evidence. At the end of this, you will get your friends back and I imagine, be on your way. This is all confidential, of course.”
“Of course. Lord Hallax, I don’t know who Rezyn is, but he would probably know what we look like from Simira, Tarynn, or Zev telling him. Or even just the bounty that was up. And still, I’m one of two nyadin in the city. The second we step into that manor, he’s gonna be clocking us. He might have even seen us play on stage already, and once we play in bigger places, he’ll definitely recognize us.”
He smiled with a quick breath from his nose. “With the sigils, we will not need to worry about your appearance anymore. I bought information from Madam Diona’s bouncer, who I covertly instructed to not allow Rezyn entry. Does that put your mind at ease?”
“It does. Thank you.” One more thing was prodding at my mind. “Why does everyone want to, uh, dispose Viscount Amien from power?”
Hallax’s face instantly became less amicable. “It’s a very long story why I want Hazjiken Amien dead. But I’ll be brief. He was my business partner. I owned the mines which the glorious gild of my quarter is drawn from, and he was the foreman of said mines, being from a family of mine owners elsewhere across Triala. He became wealthy, incredibly wealthy from the gold-rich mines of Vehfirn. So wealthy that the late Viscountess Amien committed to him. All was well until her death, which was very obviously orchestrated by him, but nobody could question it because he immediately wrested power and declared the caves ‘too dangerous for traversal.’ His crimes against his people are many, but he is a conniving coward lusting for power over everyone else. Several years ago, he began a construction project, which resulted in diverting a river through farmland of his own people. But the destruction of property, the decimation of crops, and the famine that his people endured were not his goal. His goal was to flood all of my mines by running the river directly into all of them. Thousands. Thousands of workers died. Good men who I commanded and provided work so their families could eat. Who lived in my quarter under my protection. He murdered all of those people because he wanted to cripple me. He blamed the river jumping on the rainy season, which caused mudslides, but we all heard the explosions up the hill that the mudslides came from. There was no proof and the city people were too riled up by the fresh arrival of the Zeltem Order to see how the farmers and miners suffered. Do not wonder why I despise that man. Wonder why everyone else does not.”
I sat there with wide eyes. “And that was the short version?”
“Yes. See now that what you are doing and the goals we are working toward are just. Deserved.”
“I understand now, Lord Hallax.”
“Good. I’ve spoken too long. I will have you retrieve the sigil parchments once you finish your song.”
“Huh? Uh, okay. Where?”
“A tavern in the Amien Quarter. Buckler’s Ball.”
“Lord Hallax, no disrespect, but weren’t we just talking about why I shouldn’t show my face around the Amien Quarter?”
“The Amien Quarter is large. You are not required to enter the manor and you said you are too quick to be caught by Zerick’s shield. If there is any person who may notice you, evade them. This task is simple, you should have little problem with it. If you are worried about people noticing you for your ears, then go to Riviera before you leave. She has ways of helping people blend in.”
“Yes, Lord Hallax.” I turned around to finish playing the piece I was practicing and played only a few notes before Hallax cut me off.
“Tell me, what is your real name?”
“Uh… my real name?” I didn’t turn around, probably for the better. My eyes were practically bulging out of my head.
Shit, did he figure it out? No, it has to be a trick. I can’t think of any way it would make sense.
“Alex, I understand your need for discretion, however, I have noticed you do not respond to your name quite often. You and Eddie.” He stood from his desk and slowly lumbered over to me while he spoke. “I have told you everything honestly. I simply wish the same from you. You are a valuable asset to this hall, and I would not want to have you expelled for hiding important information from me.” He loomed directly over me. I hadn’t turned around, but the heat radiated closely off of his body and the golden skirt tassels dangled dangerously close to my head.
“Brenden Jace. That’s my name. Eddie’s name is Desmond. I was with some friends before this, me and Desmond were. One of them got mouthy with Lady Simira and she didn’t like it, so she grabbed her and two others. No idea where they are or if they’re even alive. Just hoping. We didn’t want to get caught by Simira. She knows our names. The more we put our true identities out there, the easier it is for her and whoever Rezyn is, to find us.”
“Dex mentioned that my daughter, Fera, knows Desmond in his report. Do you know how they know each other?”
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know your daughter.”
“Hmm. Your orphanage, your cult? Fabricated?”
“Yep.” I was looking down at the uisukaifo keys.
“Brenden. Jace.” Hallax clicked his tongue. “Hm.” He took a deep breath and slowly spoke as if he were piecing a puzzle together. “I have never heard a name like that before. You clearly did not lie about being musicians, with stellar music, but such an odd sound. Uncharacteristic of any other musicians here. The rhythm, the flow of the music, the combinations of instruments, the lyrics themselves, how short the songs are. So unlike anything I have ever heard. Where are you from?”
I was worried he could see the sweat running down my head. He was ripping apart all of our lies, our story, in an instant. So I stuck to my guns.
“Boston.”
“Boston? Hm. I’ll have to ask Riviera about that. Her friend Geren was very well traveled and may have told her about… Boston.” He patted my shoulder and returned to his usual tone, stepping back to his desk. “Thank you for finally being honest, Brenden Jace. I will allow you to keep your alias for as long as you are here. Let’s not allow your true name to slip into the ears of the gossiping rabble.”
I took a breath of relief and turned back around to him. “The Buckler’s Ball?”
“Yes. Riviera can tell you more.”
“Yes, Lord Hallax.” I idled for a moment, unsure of what to do. He must have sensed it, rolling his eyes like he forgot.
“Here’s the money. Best get there before the arena gets out.”
He tossed me a heavy bag of coins. I nodded and hurried out of his office.
Why can’t Desmond do this?! He barely sticks out compared to me!
I stopped outside his door and breathed for a moment, way more stressed than I wanted to be.
“-the poin of ya guys talkin’.” I heard Desmond’s voice very loudly coming from down the hall in the clinic.
There was a low response from Miriel that I couldn’t make out, but I found myself panicking and nearly running down the hall to get there in time. The door to the clinic was wide open and Desmond was sat on a bed talking very loudly to Miriel, who had a noticeable look of stress on her face.
Without even turning around, Desmond blurted out sloppily “Well if it isn’t the man of the hour!”
Miriel’s eyes darted to mine and stuck, horribly embarrassed and noticeably angry.
I couldn’t keep my face from looking exactly how I felt. Worried and mortified. I could already tell Desmond was drunk, just by the way he was sitting. His head was slumping more than it usually did.
“Why am I the man of the hour, Eddie?” I couldn’t keep my voice from sounding angry either.
Miriel cut in. “Alex, would you please take Eddie out of here? He spilled several of my balms and scared a client out. And now he has been rambling about some rather intrusive topics.”
I snapped at Miriel a little. “Yeah, I know. We’re in the same boat here.” I crouched in front of Desmond and put my hands on either side of his face so he would look at me. “What’s going on here?”
Desmond leaned in like he was trying to tell me a secret, but much louder than any secret has ever been told. “No worries, man, ‘m jus tryna help ya out.”
I took a deep breath in and went into dad mode. “What did you say to her?”
He leaned in even closer. I could smell the flowery perfume in his clothes and the sweet tang of wine on his breath. “I know you’re tryna lay pipe, so I made sure she wasn’ leading’ ya on, capeesh? I was like, ‘you gonna let my boy hit or play his feelins?’ But, ya know, not like that, like, nicer.”
Mortified isn’t the way to describe it. The feeling I have is so, so much more humiliating.
I stared at the floor and held my head in my hands, not really sure what I wanted to do.
I wanna kill this motherfucker.
I must have died for a moment, because Desmond’s voice startled me back to reality.
“Ya don’ need to be so grumpy about it, man. I gotchu.” He leaned really close and actually whispered to me. “She likes ya too, hombre.”
I glared into his foggy green eyes, fighting back the urge to commit murder. “Even if that was true, I’m not sure it’s staying that way now.” I gritted my teeth and took in a slow breath. “I’ve always gotta be the fucking adult.”
Desmond looked at me with a smug smile on his droopy drunk face.
“Alex,” Miriel broke through my anger with her calm but ever so slightly shaking voice. “I cannot have him coming in here and acting so disorderly. It is unprofessional and if this happens again, neither of you will be coming back here. I will be expecting a thorough apology next time I see him, if you will remind him of that when he’s sober.”
I gritted my teeth and nodded before turning back to the village idiot. “Get the fuck up. We’re going back to the room.” I wrapped his arm over my shoulders and started walking him out. “Don’t take everything he said to heart. I’ll come by this evening and we’ll sort it out.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
I dragged Desmond through the manor back to the room and resisted the urge to slam the shit out of the door.
And him. With his head in the door.
“I dunno why yer both so mad. I was jus helpin’.” He sprawled out on his bed while I stood over him.
“I didn’t see you for the better part of a week, while you were out screwing around, and now you stumble back in and go out of your way to fuck up one of the closest friends I’ve made here! What the fuck is going on with you?! Also, how do you know Fera?”
Desmond raised his head with a stupid happy look on his face. “We been fuckin’.”
My already agape eyes somehow widened. “Desmond, that’s Hallax’s daughter!”
“That’s his daughter?! Sheeeit, second in the group to bag a noble!” He high fived himself and laid back.
“Oh my God. You are not fucking Hallax’s daughter.”
“Maybe, maybe not. I’ll ask her last name next time we meet up. By the way, you got any coins? I’m dry.”
I was in utter disbelief and scared to keep prying for what I might find out. “Desmond, you have all of our money! I only have what we made on the night of the gig! Did you actually spend all of it?!”
“Yeah but, that was all free money. The shit we got when we got here. Ya know.”
“Those were a shitload of silver coins, and apparently they’re worth more than gold here. We made two gold coins for our show. Two. Gold. Coins.”
He sloppily shook his head at me and flung his arms up in joy. “Brenden, we’re basically rock stars now, and we have a free place to stay. Money ain’t an issue here, man. I’m just livin’ it up best I can.”
“We’re supposed to be working on this plan to get our friends back, not getting drunk and sleeping with hookers every night! I get that you’re low on energy because of the sigils, but you gotta start thinking with your head! I can’t be a helicopter parent twenty-four seven! What the fuck is going on with you?! This ain’t you, man!”
He took a deep breath and his face twisted into pitiful anger. “I’m sorry. I’s jus tryna help ‘n I fucked up like usual!” He was sniffling between words. “I only wanned it’a work out for you. Cuz mine dint!” He grabbed his pillow and wildly slammed it at the wall.
I was getting a little scared. I hadn’t seen him like this in a long time.
“Desmond, what are you talking about? What didn’t work out for you?”
He stood up, clenching his fists and grabbing the sides of his head. “I’m outta my FUCKIN’ MIND MAN! God damnit! I’s seein’ a girl at uni an’ I really liked ‘er!” His anger broke into frustrated tears. “We’d dated half a year ‘n it was jus good. Like, we just worked. Like we clicked, perfect, and then BOOM I’M FUCKIN’ DEAD AND HERE GODDAMNIT! I miss ‘er so fuckin’ much, you got no idea. I ‘ate this place so much it’s fuckin’ killin’ me ‘n I wanna go home ‘n see ‘er, but I can’t cause Adam can’t fuckin’ drive for SHIT! I wanned ta help you out ‘n clearly I fucked that up too! Can’ git a goddamn thin’ right in this world apparently! Here I am livin’ it up fuckin’ some fantasy hoe right after losin’ my girl! What kinda fuckin’ man am I, man?!”
He took a moment to breathe and force his tears back, kicking the leg of the table, and clenching his whole body violently as his shin bounced right off of it.
“FUCK! The hearin’ and seein’ is so killin’ me ‘n the only thing tha makes it stop’s booze! Maybe nah, though, haven’ tried drugs yet! I can’t focus ta make it go ‘way on my own forever, ‘n it jus keeps comin’ back so fuckin’ bad! The magic shit makes me so tired that I can’t control it. I can’t sleep cuz o’ the sounds ‘n smells, so I fuck and drink myself to sleep cuz ain’t nothin’ else works! I’m so tired of this shit, man. I just wanna get by ‘n get the fuck outta here.”
Jesus Christ, I couldn’t help pitying him. I didn’t know about any of that and I didn’t know what to say, so I gave him my shoulder to cry on, holding the pillow around his ears while he fell apart at the seams.
We’ll figure it out when he wakes up. Take some time off of rehearsing for a bit.
He eventually passed out from it all. I set him down in his bed and let him be. It was getting late in the afternoon and I had shit to do.
Riviera’ office was on the opposite side of the building from Hallax. She invited me into a room the size of a broom closet. Another yeffen couldn’t even fit in there with her.
“Aren’t you the leader of the Zeltem Order? Small office.”
Riviera cocked her head to the side inquisitively before making a quiet chirp of realization. “You do not know what the Zeltem Order is?”
“No, I thought it was gonna be a group of scholars or something.”
“It is the order of my people, the order of yeffen that reside on the outskirts of the city. We pledged ourselves to Lord Hallax when he offered us land. I represent Zeltem yeffen, and this is where I work and sleep.”
“I didn’t know there was an order of yeffen in the city. Where are they?”
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She looked at me with squinted eyes, almost like she was skeptical or taken aback that I asked that.
“In the south. The forest south of the Amien manor is Lord Hallax’s territory, so we settled there. West of the manor are farmlands directly overseen by Count Wey. The position is helpful that we may organize outside the Amien manor to sing the songs the late lady taught us, that her daughter hears us. I was the one who devised the idea.”
She raised her beak with that, seeming very proud of herself.
“Oh, that’s smart. Um, Hallax said you could help me hide my ears? And tell me where the gildway is?”
Her eyes flicked to me, then her bronze beak fell. She made a sound like a low coo, but it felt like she was sighing and fiddled in a bin, then lumbered to me and pressed a cloth around my head.
“What are you-” The headband snapped into my mouth until she reached in with her taloned fingers to pull it out. “What is this for?” I wasn’t good at reading how yeffen were feeling, with how birdlike they were, but I could tell I just asked a stupid question.
“You asked for your ears to be hidden. Squint to conceal your eyes from jorlad, as well.” She pressed my ears against my head and pulled the cloth tight, turning my body around and twisting it in the back before securing it with a clip.
My ears ached, but I could put up with it. A quick mission and then I could get back and eat, bathe, and process what to do with Desmond and Miriel. Damn, I was way too jumbled and tired to do anything well, especially with a fresh stress migraine setting in.
“Will people really not notice me if I just put my hood up and blend in?”
“Refrain from dressing in full gild, and you will be fine. Gilded shirt and trousers to enter the gildway. Show your face to the guards, then proceed on the gildway with hood covering yourself. You will see the gildway after leaving the manor and traveling deeper into the city. The archway next to the park is the gildway that leads into the other two quarters. Where are you going?”
“Buckler’s Ball.”
She nodded. “At the end of the gildway in the Amien Quarter, don this,” she passed me a brown traveler’s cloak, “immediately turn right and there you will see a street with taverns and shops on either side. Buckler’s Ball has a buckler hanging from the building.”
I committed as much of that as I could to my memory, which wasn’t particularly sharp.
“Thank’s Riviera, I appreciate the help.”
Riviera’s pride quickly dissipated into discomfort at my comment. “Thanks are unnecessary, I am simply doing my duty to the gilded.”
Don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but okay. Hell, this headband is making my head hurt.
“Should I let you or Hallax know when I return?”
Her eyes turned stern. “I believe Lord Hallax wishes to be informed of your arrival.”
“Right. See you around.”
I stepped out of her little closet and Hallax Hall. I emerged into the bright blue noon sky with the brisk autumn breeze easing my nausea.
“Downtown to the gildway, hide my face from everyone but the guards, then the bar is right next to the gildway exit. Great.”
My pounding head was a nice tool for keeping a steady walking pace. Each throbbing beat of pain was a step. A gruelingly slow pace that may as well have been hours of walking.
I was downtown, searching around at the park we got caught at. There was a play going on and a small crowd of people gathered.
Oh, that looks cool. I wonder if-
I then realized I completely forgot what I was doing. I was standing next to the park like an idiot, looking around at everything.
The players, some buildings, nice trees, orange flowers, and a big arch- Ayyy! A big arch!
Colossal pillars of gold rose from the ground, supporting a mess of wiry gold and brass tubes that formed a canopy over the gildway like woven tree branches and vines. The bridge ascended over the entire city. I pulled my hood down and walked up to the gildway, passing the guards without trying to interact with them. They didn’t even look at me.
Maybe they don’t check people going out…
Rays of sun peeked through the branches of gold overhead. As the gildway rose, the sides and top became more obstructed by gold leaves and vines. Glancing between them, out to the city below, I noticed a part that looked unlike the rest of the Hallax Quarter. No gold in sight, just tall, wooden and copper buildings that were probably houses for lower class folks. I was alone for most of my walk on the gildway, only passing a handful of people.
I emerged from the gildway in a part of Vehfirn that actually seemed real and threw on the cloak. There weren’t tons of glitterbombed houses or people. The gild still seemed to be a trend but it was overtaken by vines and flowers. The area seemed significantly darker, even for a bright day, but that may have been because I wasn’t being constantly blinded by reflections. Riviera said the place had a buckler hanging from the front of it, so I just started walking down the street to the left looking for a buckler.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I saw bars and bakeries and craftsmen, but no buckler bar thing. After a while, I found myself nearing the big wooden houses before the envious looks of nearby people drove me to turn around and try the other street.
I’m stupid. It isn’t that I feel stupid, or I look stupid. Stupid is just my default state apparently.
When I got back to the gildway and looked down the street to the right of it, the first building on the left side had a massive buckler hanging from it with a stein and the words “Buckler’s Ball” on it.
I’m blaming this on the migraine. I can’t take yet another emotional hit today. Not after Dipshit McGee critically failed his wingman check.
The Buckler’s Ball was dead empty, but pretty nice. Seemed like it was the kind of place that could get rowdy with all the broken and chipped furniture, which was of surprisingly high quality. The dark wooden themes mixed well with the flowers and plants tastefully placed around the establishment. The natural light from outside and bright orange glowing gems created a comfortable and natural atmosphere.
Alright, who’s got the fuckin’ planks I need?
“Oh fuck me.”
I hadn’t asked them who the contact was. My head darted around, searching for anyone in the bar with papers or a folder or something. There was only one other person in the entire bar, a man with a gray receding hairline who looked to be only in his forties. He was pale and wiry, almost seeming malnourished. Probably didn’t get much sun or time outside. He pushed a pair of spectacles up on his face, a stack of planks in his hands that he seemed to be reading over. I casually walked to the table and sat across from him.
“You the guy I’m buying those from?” I kept my head down and tried to be as secretive as possible.
He glanced up in confusion.
“I’m here to buy your planks.”
“Who the fuck are you?” He had a nasally, lazy voice with a slow, apathetic tone. It reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite.
“Those aren’t the sigils?”
“What sig- no… These are receipts. For my bar. This bar.”
“Oh. Sorry, sir.”
I sat there a moment longer, waiting for something, although I wasn’t sure what.
He stared at me awkwardly. “Erm… are you going to leave now?”
I looked up at him in surprise. “Um, yeah. Sorry.”
As I stood up, a hand brushed my shoulder and somebody sat to the left of me.
“Sit back down, boy!”
The chair startled me with how loudly it creaked beneath her. A very rotund lady with a croaky, deep voice sat next to me. Her dark olive lips and shallow but wide nose blew an herbaceous smoke into my face. On the other side of the smoke was a warm smile and round, motherly face. Her head of curly red hair bounced upon her taking a seat, letting a warm chuckle out. Her pale eyes smugly checked me out.
“Are you looking for these?” She slapped a pile of parchments and planks on the bar table. They certainly looked like sigils. “These ones are the spectral sigils. Marked them with some red wax. The regenerative ones aren’t marked at all. That make sense?”
“Um, yeah. Thank you.” I looked over the papers, swiping through them. The ones marked by wax seemed really elaborate, almost like they were 3D. And the regenerative ones looked like they were cleanly ripped from a book.
“Oh shit!” I had forgotten about my book. I never finished reading it, and I probably had some spectral sigils in it.
“Oh shit’s right. Show me the sennos.” The woman pulled the pile down to the table and held her other hand open for money.
“Apologies, ma’am.” I pulled the coin pouch from my belt and placed it in her palm. The bag had to be at least five pounds of coins.
“How polite. See Jay, there are people in this city who still act courteous!”
The balding guy, Jay, looked up from his ledger. “I never doubted you, dear, just the people in this city.”
Just then, the doors burst open and I heard a proud, commanding voice call out.
“Bar mother?! Bar mother?! We have a man in need of some courage!”
I recognized that voice. It was the blue guy who was traveling with Simira. A shiver ran up my spine as I realized I might be shit out of luck if he saw me. I tucked the pile into my cloak and sat still. All I had to do was keep my head down and leave once they all took seats.
The woman next to me let out a boisterous and raspy laugh. “Andris, my boy! Here so soon?!” She got up and hugged him. “And who would this big fellow be? Got a new hatchling?”
“Mum, this man is more than a hatchling. He brought down the river rizumir! The beast that knocked out sixteen of my finest zeshuo. He is Adam, the Mountain Crusher! Though I have yet to see him crush a mountain, I do not doubt it is in his future.”
Holy fuck. Adam is here?! Behind me? Barely ten feet from me? And it sounds like he’s doing great, like he’s a prodigy or something! Is it a good thing or a bad thing that he’s getting so close with the people in House Amien? I can’t tell.
The sudden noise brought my migraine back and spun my head, but I had to hear whatever had happened. Intel like this was useful.
Adam finally spoke up. “Hi, I’m Adam. No need for the mountain crusher part, I’m still a new guard.” He awkwardly chuckled, but I could tell from his voice that he was beaming.
“Adam, my taro, no ordinary guard has ever displayed a feat of excellence like that! Come, let us drink to warm up for the evening!” There was a short pause before the blue guy laughed. “I intended to purchase drinks for the entire bar! Mum, where did they all go? There’s only one gloomy looking old fellow over with that cloaked man!” Andris chuckled.
Jay glared up at Andris like he wasn’t in the mood. “Well, somebody has to do the finances around here, and good luck getting Ruisu to read anything.”
“Come now, pop. I was simply poking fun. You’re welcome to drink with us if you please. You too, you in the cloak.”
Without thinking I quickly responded in a creepy, raspy voice. “I shouldn’t get in the way of your fun.”
“Nonsense! Today is a celebration. Mum! A drink for him and everyone else!”
An eruption of cheers burst through the bar as the guards piled in the doorway. People started filling in every table around the bar, but not mine. It sounded like Andris and Adam were sitting at the table directly behind me. The woman who sold me the parchments, Ruisu, got up and began filling mugs with alcohol. And holy hell she could carry mugs of ale. It looked like Oktoberfest with how many she was stacking and passing out to me and everyone else in the bar.
“Hear! Hear!” Andris’ voice boomed out. “To an excellent display of House Amien’s guards. We drink to today’s victors! To Gazine! To Perive! To Nayjzik! To Terikaz! To Jzanaton! To Adam!”
Cheers of comradery blasted through my ears. I stared through the glass mug of bubbly ale before me, bright yellow alcohol refracting sunlight every which way. The atmosphere of the place was infectiously bright and I couldn’t help a smile growing on my face.
Maybe I’ve been reading too much into it. I’m just glad that Adam is happy. If Adam is well, I’m sure the other two are doing decent at least.
The bar settled down as the guards all began conversations at their own tables and I sipped at my ale.
“Adam,” Andris started, “not much time has passed, but you have been improving rapidly. After only a dozen days, you have the prowess of a warrior who has trained for years on end. Perhaps it is your innate instincts and ability that make up for your lack of technical experience and strategy. I see some spots to improve, but I have confidence you will prevail. You will have a bright future in the military.”
Adam replied bashfully. “Captain, I appreciate the praise, but I don’t know if I will ever be as skilled as you expect me to be. I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing outside of sparring. I wouldn’t have beaten the rimi- rizuri-”
“The rizumir.”
“Right. I wouldn’t have beaten the rizumir without Tells yelling to me. I was frozen and she snapped me out of it. I wasn’t doing anything. I can spar all day, but when it actually comes down to it, I’m scared that I’ll keep freezing up.”
“What’s it like when you freeze? Are you scared, overwhelmed, anxious?”
Silence took the table as Adam thought. “I see whatever is across from me, and it’s like my mind just blanks out. I don’t know what to do and my hands shake, I can’t move my feet. And then when it moves, it’s faster than I can react. And I can’t react most of the time. Like with the bug and the rimuzim.”
“Rizumir.”
“Um, yeah. And then I snap back into it just before it’s too late. I’m worried that next time I might not focus in time, and I’ll get killed.”
Andris chuckled deeply. “Apologies. I am not laughing at you. What you said just reminded me of how I was. In my days of yore, I was the same. Except I was a fiery and foolish zeshuo. Yon, I still feel that fire well up in me sometimes. You seem to have a level head. That is already a step beyond where I was. I would provoke and prod at people, only to be sent spinning to the ground because I couldn’t react in time. Unfortunately, confidence is only something you can feign for so long before it is truly demanded. When confidence is demanded, you must embrace it, else your life be cut short. Fear is a facet of survival, and learning to hone it is what makes a warrior.”
“So… what? Should I go out and start fighting things to get better?”
“You will practice your skills and you reactions will naturally improve. Combat will be like a first nature. Once your skills are apt, you will be well-equipped to overcome your own mind.” Andris released a nostalgic sigh. “Then, in the future, you will likely lead very well.”
“Leader? Captain Zev, I’m barely even a fighter.”
Andris laughed heartily and happily. “That is exactly what makes you so apt. Doubt yourself less, Adam, but never give up your humility. It will serve you and yours in the days to come. I can only hope I am still alive and fighting so that I may see your success.” He stopped talking for a moment and then slammed his mug on the table. “Another, for everyone! I expect every one of you to keep pace with me, but we will all move forward together! Finish with haste!”
What a fuckin’ surprise. Fish guy drinks like a fish.
From around the bar were a series of cheers and then slams, mugs onto wooden tables to signify that all of the guards were finished. I kept to my corner, slowly sipping the mug of ale so as to not make my empty stomach any sicker.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was the Captain that was just talking to Adam.
“You too, stranger! Rounds are on me, so you drink with us! Go on now. Everyone is waiting for you to finish.”
God almighty in Heaven, can the day stop fucking me so sideways?
I did the raspy voice again. “Yes sir.” And chugged the rest of my drink.
There were applause from around the bar as Ruisu carried more mugs out, including one to me. Apparently, fate wasn’t done with my torture.
As a full mug was placed before me, Andris yelled again and slammed his mug down. “Another one finished! Hurry, lads! Encourage each other for success!”
From different parts of the bar erupted various chants for guards to chug their drinks. Two guards sat on either side of me. Head down, I noticed they were both facing me, watching me drink.
“You’re gonna finish that quick, right bud?” Said the one on my left.
“You just need a little encouragement is all!” The other said.
Then they both started chanting: “Chug! Chug! Chug!”
I steeled my resolve, prayed that my stomach would hold, and promptly chugged the drink as fast as I could. It went down easy enough, the only caveat being how it met some ale on its way back up about halfway through. I forced the burning bile and alcohol down, took a breath, and slammed the mug down with a wretched burp. Both of the men next to me cheered and threw their hands up, before stepping away to “encourage” another poor soul.
I shouldn’t have stayed. Intel isn’t worth it.
I couldn’t sneak out with a drink in front of me, but guards were mulling around my table and in front of the entrance now that I was done. I would have gotten up and walked out, but I couldn’t risk showing myself. Any one of them could have been Rezyn, and I had to be careful. The drinks weren’t finished all around the bar yet, so I still had time to prepare before more people would turn their attention to me.
I fumbled with the papers and planks in my belt, pulling out every sigil I could find that had a wax seal. There were three. Flare, Schism, and Disapparate. Glancing over them, Flare could change something's color and perceived shape, Schism would cause light to fracture in a blinding flash, and Disapparate could cause light to pass through objects. Sounded close enough to invisibility to me, I just had to make it work.
The voices all collapsed around one singular area, meaning I didn’t have much time before the next drink was coming. And seeing as I had only ingested ale all day, drunkenness was rapidly approaching.
Disapparate had four shapes. Reading everything quickly was nauseating and inflaming to my worsening migraine. The instructions only said to make it big. That was it. I didn’t have a clue of what the fuck that meant, but I didn’t have the space, time, or privacy to make it big. Shoulder-width would have to do. The first shape was a three sided pyramid with a wide base.
Oh joy, I have to make it 3D instead of just drawing it flat like the fire ones.
I focused energy into my finger, a smooth flow of heat drifting down my neck into my finger. It was warm like the sun on an autumn day. As I began tracing the first corner of the pyramid from the top to the bottom, I saw two reflections of my own hand and the sigil lines following my moves in blurs. They mirrored my first line and made the other two. A wave of relief rushed over me, realizing I wouldn’t have to agonize over tracing everything so many times.
Suddenly, Napoleon Dynamite whispered to me from across the table. “Erm, what are you doing?”
“Shhhh! Nothing bad, just don’t make a scene, please.” He couldn’t see under the hood, but I was pleading harder than I had ever pleaded in this life and the one before it.
He pushed up his spectacles and watched me over his planks without another word.
After connecting the bottoms, forming the pyramid, I had to circle the base of it. A calming thought came to me, which was that I only had to do one third of the circle, because it should be mirrored for the other two sides, and it was. The only issue was my rapidly approaching drunkenness, so the line was horribly done. I brought it too far out at the peak and watched as the line burst into a flash, like a silent firecracker going off on the table in front of me. It wasn’t blinding, but it was enough that a few people around me started stepping closer.
“Start the next round!” Andris yelled.
I have to move even faster, before people crowd around me to drink. Ruisu knows what the sigils are, so she might not care if I’m fucking around with them, but I can’t be sure about everyone else.
I swished my finger across to make the circle at the base and got some lucky perfection.
The third shape was a three-lined sphere, but it connected in three parts from beneath the pyramid. I started from the bottom and wrapped it around and up, making sure the line crossed the midpoint of each third of the first circle, up to the tip. It was getting larger and more glowy, so I knew I may as well just say fuck it and do it quick in the open.
There was a thud and a grinding of wood against glass as Ruisu slid another ale in front of me and chuckled to herself as she saw the sigil. Eyes from around the room were gathering on me, and they were starting to move in when they saw my reluctance to drink.
“It’s now or never.”
Adam’s and Andris’ backs were to me, so I stood up, grabbed the drink and chugged it as fast as I could without another thought. Being tipsy made it go down easier, but now there were really a lot of people looking at me just as my hood started slipping back on my head. It was a race to empty the drink before my hood fell off. Halfway down, my nose poked out. The cloak slowed, catching on my hair, only before finding some smoothness and floating back. In a do-or-die state of mind, I wrapped both hands around the mug, and emptied it into my gullet as the hood descended to my shoulders. Throwing the mug down, I whipped the hood up again and read the sigil, gasping for air.
The third shape was done, onto the fourth. I had to place my hand into the very middle of the sigil and cause a burst of spectral energy. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but I threw my hand in and concentrated as hard as I could. My whole hand lit up with swirling colors, but it wasn’t bursting.
“Now that’s what we wanna see!” A guard yelled and slapped my shoulder. I jumped so hard I thought my soul left my body.
As that happened, my hand flashed in another silent explosion and the pyramid was filled with swirling colors of light, shifting like iridescent fractals. Exhaustion wafted over me brutally, like I could collapse in a second. Paired with being hungry, tired, and in pain, I may as well have been hit by a truck.
“Woah, have you ever seen a sigil like this before?!” The guard called to his buddies, who promptly began swarming around me.
I was out of time. With my head pulsing and my vision swirling, I tried to focus on the plank. The final step was to grab the sphere and spin it as fast as I could. And after that, all it said was “Enter.” Hell if I knew what that meant, but I shoved the plank in my pants and wrapped my hands around the warm stream of energy in the air. It was a spectacle for the entire bar, and I heard Andris and Adam wondering why everyone was getting up. I wrenched the sigil and it spun from the center of the pyramid like those things astronauts sit in that spin them all which ways.
At that very moment, there were cheers from around the bar, around me. Then I heard the scrape of a stool against the wood floor as Andris’ stool crashed into mine, buckling my knees and knocking me flat onto the table, my entire upper body crashing into the spinning sigil.
My vision fogged over for a moment as my entire body heated up, that same feeling of being in the sun on a cozy fall day. I raised myself and turned around, wondering why everyone in the bar was looking at me with horrified eyes. Andris was barely a foot in front of me, and Adam just stared blankly in my direction.
“Shit.”
I made eye contact with them before I realized they weren’t looking at my face. They were looking at my legs. And now I was looking at my legs. My upper body was entirely invisible, but I could see into my own body, the blood and organs a bright red, like I was cut in half and staring at the gaping cross section of my lower body. The gore spurred my stomach to unload.
“What happened?!” Andris yelled directly toward me in a worried panic.
My head swung up toward him in surprise just as a fountain of hot ale and bile spewed from my invisible mouth, dousing most of his front half.
“What is- augh!” He hurriedly stepped back and tripped, tumbling backward over his table.
If there was ever a sign to leave, it was that. In my boozed-up and frenzied state, I darted from the spot and out the door in a flash. Stumbling and swaying in a horrific display of severed legs running down the road, I hurried down the street to the gildway, hearing a few screams from people who saw my detached bottom half sprinting on the cobblestones. I couldn’t make out much around me. My vision felt like it was fading in and out and I only caught glimpses as I passed the guards at the entry to the gildway.
At some point, my lungs couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped and sat down on a bench at the highest point of the gildway, beneath the radiant glow of golden vines and leaves. The warmth faded as my upper half became visible again. I sat for some time just trying to ease the horrid feeling in my stomach, repressing the urge to vomit again. I pulled my cloak off and slowly breathed, closing my eyes and leaning into the back of the bench.
A slightly familiar, growlish voice broke my concentration. “I’ve been looking for you, Alex.”
I opened my eyes to see Dex, standing over me, arms and face crossed with rage. His usual pinkish red tone was burning like fire in the light around me.
I couldn’t keep my voice from sounding sluggish. “What’s goin’ on, Dex?”
“That’s what I’m here to find out. What did you say to Miriel? Huh? What did you and your friend yell at her for?”
I groaned and sat forward, lazily looking up at him. “Dex, I’ve had a pretty shit day. I’m sure you could ask her and she’d tell you better than I could, or better yet, Desmond, because I don’t-” I paused to hold back from gagging, “-have it in me right now.”
He looked at me like I was filth beneath his boot. “She won’t talk to me because of what you said to her, cur! I had to find out from Zerick, who heard you yelling from down the hall!” He leaned right into my face. “I know you’ve been trying to sway her, make her love you. It takes an order from above just to get you out of wasting her time with your pointless questions.”
“Dex, listen to me. She’s mad at me and Desmond now, too. I just talk to her because I have questions and she has the answers. You know I’m not from around here! I know next to nothing!” I was fighting back vomit with every word, and arguing only sent elongated pangs through my exhausted brain.
“Then stop wasting her time and go find out from experience. She doesn’t want to be talking to you all day, and I’m not gonna let you come in and ruin everything I’ve been building with her because you’re trying to steal a lay. I’m one of the last of my people! I deserve her more!”
“What?! Dex! I’m not trying-”
“Not trying?! Well if you’re not trying, then stop doing it at all! You’re a fucking waste! Hiding your face, reeking of beer, laying on a bench like you’re a poor cur! A sorry excuse of a nyadin!” He wrenched my ear out of its band and squeezed it in his fist. “You probably think you don’t have to try just because you’re another nyadin. You can act like an ignorant fool in need of help, and she’ll give it because she pities you, and somehow you think she’ll fall for you. That won’t happen. She doesn’t want to talk to you, doesn’t want to see you, and never has. It’s the first thing she talks about after you finally stop bothering her every day, how much it annoys her.”
My head spun in a frenzy of pain and confused emotions. “I… didn’t… know.”
“You should now.” He pulled my crumpled ear toward him and yelled directly into it. “Stop wasting her time!” Dex threw my head back and stormed down the gildway, toward Hallax Hall.
I sat there in a painful daze.
My head hurts. My stomach hurts. My ear hurts. My heart hurts.
I hadn’t felt heartbreak so badly in a long time. I hadn’t even known I cared about Miriel enough to feel so miserable. I didn’t want to make her miserable, I just liked her. I didn’t realize I’d been such an annoying ass, and that’s what got to me the most, that I’d lost sight of myself. So I sat in silence.
* * * * *
Some hours later, I recovered enough energy to walk my way back to the Hall. It was a slow slog in the early evening through the bright and boisterous city of gold. I didn’t care enough to pay attention to anything. It was like everything was just happening around me.
“Alex?! What happened to you?” I was at the gates of Hallax Hall as Miriel’s voice broke into my daze. I half looked at her and threw on a fake smile.
“Oh. Just a scuffle. Drunk guy threw up on me.”
“You look like death. There’s vomit all over your shirt. Your ear is swollen, too. Can I help-” She started moving toward me, so I put up a hand and stepped back.
“No, I’m not hurt. I don’t wanna bother you right now. You seem like you’re heading out, and you look nice. I don’t wanna get anything on you.” She was wearing some makeup, a loose fitting long shirt that was tucked into a skirt, and a purse with a red gem on the clasp, all gold of course. Stunning as usual.
I didn’t want to look directly at her, so I just ended the conversation and walked off. “Have a nice evening, Miriel.”
I entered the Hall where Hallax was sitting on his throne, talking to some people I hadn’t seen before. He didn’t look at me, instead Riviera was nearby and ushered me over.
“That took far longer than expected. Are you well? Do you have the sigils?”
I pulled the parchments and planks out of my pants and passed them to her. “Can we continue this tomorrow?”
She lightly cooed in confusion. “If that suits you better, I must oblige.”
“Great.”
I made my way to the kitchen without another word, swiping a loaf of bread and a small block of cheese. I dragged my feet back to my room where Desmond was still passed out, then sprawled onto my bed. I laid still, eating and repeating my mantra that I always used when life got shitty.
“At least I’m not dead.”