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18: One Foot

18: One Foot

18

(Walk the Moon- One Foot)

Vetia

What could be better than this? A luxury clinic in a serene location. Kind locals who wait on me all day when I’m hungry or my shoulders start acting up. It’s kind of like a spa, y’know?

Except instead of having nothing to do but relax, relaxing was literally the only thing I could do, to the point of mind-numbing boredom. I had all the time in the world to reminisce about how much better my old life was before I got stuck as a woman with glass bones and paper skin. The shards of bone cut into me night and day, so it was easiest to not move at all and to breathe as shallow as I possibly could. At least Mother Yeline spoon fed me my meals. I would have rather had a hot island girl or nurse doing it over a little human-ish creature, but you gotta make do with what you got. At least she filled me in on what I was when I asked. Unfortunately, she stopped visiting once the burns on my organs were healed earlier. On one shattered hand, I could sit up and walk a little. On the other shattered hand was my other shattered hand. And arm. And shoulders. And collarbones. And I wasn’t entirely sure, but I was starting to doubt reality a little.

Am I really a woman with glass bones and paper skin? Will I wake up in cooler full of ice somewhere in Mexico with my kidneys gone? Is this all just a really, really fucked up dream? Is my head hurting because of dehydration or a surprise cancer growth that’s making me hallucinate all of this? Time will tell, but unfortunately, based on my lucidity and the excruciating pain, I have a bad feeling it’s all real.

It was maddeningly exhausting, laying and not being able to do anything. I had a change of course a few days after the guys left town. Some new people showed up. I heard some voices, but only saw two of them. Sounded like things were getting a little extreme. One was a woman with the haircut length of those bitchy moms at the supermarket who always yell for the manager, except she had a cool braid. It started at the top left of her head and was woven across and down the right side like a half-halo. Her piercing orange eyes were cool and slightly mesmerizing. She looked like a freckled Italian who spent her entire life lifting weights and was dressed like the daughter of some rich family. She wore a loose sleeveless shirt and flowy pants made of some orange silky material. Solid gold earrings, necklaces, and bracelets adorned her. She wore so much jewelry, almost too much. Unfortunately, her personality seemed to match that of her abrasive looks. I saw her for the first time when she was carrying a guy into the bed across from me, the only other bed made for normal-sized people.

I briefly glanced them both over and she was already glaring like she wanted to kill me just for casting my eyes in her direction. I shook my head and sighed my attention elsewhere. I didn’t have the energy to bicker, but I was too bored not to be nosy. The guy had bandages around his chest and shoulder, with some blood soaking into the loose clothes. He looked almost identical to the woman, probably her twin, with similar freckled, tanned skin and straight brown hair longer than hers. His face had strong features, with defined cheeks and a jawline that could cut glass. Both of them had sharp, strong faces, but hers was a tad thinner and less sharp. Damn, they were seriously well endowed with looks. He was a bit bulkier but less athletic looking, while she had scars and some serious muscle definition. He wore less vibrant, but still shiny orange pants and a pale orange shirt that looked equally as expensive as her’s, though less worn.

She was sponging some blood from his chest with a no-longer pristine white cloth. Then the woman turned to me, a snappy voice at the ready. “Will you sit there and stare or help us, peasant?”

Damn, hitting me with a “peasant” right off the bat.

I really didn’t wanna start anything, but something deep within me saw the opportunity to sass this woman and, admittedly, I was desperate for some entertainment. Nobility, wealth, strength aside, I kind of wanted to push her buttons and do a little trolling.

“My apologies, milady. Which of my shattered arms would you like me to lift him with?”

I smiled courtly and pretensed regality. She regrettingly stared me dead in the eyes. I could tell she realized her mistake too late, but she seemed prideful, and a bit irritated by my comment.

She raised herself from leaning over him, speaking with clear, precise diction and word choice. “No need to strain yourself, as you look fragile and weak enough. Lay back and forget I asked so I can attend to my brother.”

“Are you certain you don’t need the help of a crippled peasant? Perhaps a simple conversation for the fun of it?”

She seemed like she was getting pissed off at me. I tried hiding the enthused smile creeping over my face, but it only ended up in a smug one.

She stomped to my bedside and got in my face. She was politely quiet, but very stern. “Keep quiet or I will stuff your mouth full of sheets so I don’t have to hear you anymore.”

Should I keep egging her on? No. Will I? Yeeeaaah.

“O, a tyrant. Threatening silence on innocent people and worse yet, the injured and ill. How the kingdom weeps.”

Oh, that struck something personal.

She was practically growling through her teeth at this point, “I did not come here to play semantics with a crippled tragedian, so I’ll put it in a way that a crass idiot like you can understand: shut the fuck up and leave us be.”

She sighed and stepped away, then sat next to her brother’s cot and put her head in her hands, stressed out a little more now, all thanks to me. I felt a little bad, honestly.

“Sorry ‘bout that. I think I’m just going a little stir crazy…” She glared up at me. “Soooo… what happened to him?” I eased off the act and decided to just try talking to her.

She didn’t want to entertain me, but didn’t have anything else to do, just like me. “On our travels, he was struck by the prick of a paralytic poison belonging to a beast in the forest. It fled before we could dispatch it.”

“How long has it been?”

“A day and a half.”

“And it didn’t stop his heart?”

“By some miracle.”

“That’s weird. Maybe it wasn't paralytic then?”

“Regardless of the technicality, my brother is dying of dehydration.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Oh! Look at that!” She shot up in surprise and I leaned forward to see what was going on. “He’s all better because of your apologies!” The woman rolled her eyes and sat back down. “Spare us the pity. We don’t need it.”

“Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.”

“Maybe I should have stuffed your blabbering jaw.”

“If I could leave and not be around you, I really would. The point of being in a hospital bed is none of us wanna be here in hospital beds. Or do you just have too much money to care about humility?”

She scoffed and raised her eyebrows in astonishment. “Humility? Were you not the one who insulted me?”

“You opened by calling me a peasant. It went both ways and I even apologized. I’m a crabby bitch right now and I can’t really help it, but at least I’m aware.”

“You are. Good to see you’re self conscious enough to realize that much. I don’t need you to lecture me.”

“What, did I look at you the wrong way or something? Like, genuinely, what did I do to you?”

She rubbed her temple and then waved me off. “Would you shut up already?”

Aha, I see. She’s one of those can’t-do-wrong types.

The next few hours were nothing but awkward silence that I purposely interrupted by making loud breaths, sighs and groans from pain. My imagination had nothing left to keep me busy. I had wandered around a little, but the Mother said I shouldn’t be moving much at all or the shards could resume the bleeding in my shoulders and arms. The more I bled, the hungrier I got, and the hungrier I got, the more pissed off I’d be.

What a conundrum to be in. It’s taking way too long for Mother Yeline to come back.

I kicked my satchel from under my bed and grabbed the book's cover between my feet, tossing it onto my cot. She was glaring at me so much that I was starting to think she just had a bad case of RBF.

I sat down on the bed, using my feet to hold the book open and flip through the stiff pages. I had started reading about the types of sigils and shapes, and the implications of them all, but I hadn’t touched it after breaking my arms. I was irritated that I did something wrong and a little scared of what would happen if I tried again.

As I was reading, the woman’s aura approached closer. I couldn’t explain it well, but it was like every person I encountered radiated energy or… whatever this jzanmah shit was. Everyone’s aura was similar, but had distinct personal and emotional signatures. Like recognizing a face or a name, but only in presence. This woman had an intense, passionate and driven aura to her. Regardless of if I could see or not, I could sense these auras around me, who they belonged to and what they were feeling. I memorized this woman pretty quickly because of how much I really didn’t want to interact with her anymore.

I glanced up at her and tried to casually cover the pages with my feet. She ignored me and peered around my feet at the words. My eyes flicked down and then up again at her.

“What are you into feet or something?” She glared at me, sighed, and went back to sitting next to her brother. “Girl, it was a joke. You heard of ‘em?”

She exasperatedly spoke, “What’s that book?”

“Does it matter?”

“A bound parchment book is far too expensive for someone of your status. And there were sigils inside.”

“How do you know I’m low status?”

“How could I not?”

Truly enthused, I snorted lightly at the back of my throat.

“Are you a jzanmah tejuh?”

“No, but I’ve done some in my time.”

“What school?”

“I went to school for other academic subjects, but I recently found out that I’m a regenerator.”

Her face brightened with intense hope at the thought of being able to use my abilities. “Do you have a sigil in that book that can extract poison from a body?”

“There’s a pretty good chance.”

I awkwardly flipped through the pages with my toes, looking for sigils that might be useful. It was taking a while to clumsily flip the pages with my feet while she waited with that same bitchy look on her face. “You can clearly see that I can’t use my arms. Mind lending me a hand?”

She sighed and held the book, scanning the pages, “You’re useless without arms, I may as well look alone.”

“It’s my fucking book. Let me read it too.” I paused with my eyes locked on her. “Wait, why can’t Mother Yeline just do this?”

She wrinkled her nose in contempt at my demand, but held the book out regardless. “The Mother is combing through planks in the locked underground archive across town. She said she hasn’t seen something like this in years, and the others are taking the wagon to Vehfirn to find something if time allows. Mother Yeline was supposed to be the best healer around, but she’s been utterly useless.” She looked anxious again. “What is taking you so long? Can’t you find something?”

“Hey, put some respect on the Mother’s name. If you think she’s bad, just wait til you see me.” Her neck flexed angrily as she held a comment in her mouth. “And if you hit me like I know you want to, I’m not helping. I’m doing this cause I can’t stand seeing a guy die when I might be able to help. You don’t have to like me to work with me.”

She stood still, but her shaking fist was clenched with white knuckles. That must have hit a sore spot of some kind.

“Could you just hold the book still?” I leaned forward and scanned the page.

After some tense page flipping, I stumbled upon a useful sigil. It was a four shape sigil that remotely used jzanmah to extract poisons through the pores of the skin. I didn’t think I could do a sigil so complex though, especially with broken arms, until I glanced at my pale feet.

She tossed the book into my lap when I looked away from the book. “Why am I humoring you? You can’t use your hands for jzanmah.”

“Humor me a little more, wouldja?” I smirked at her. “Might take a little teamwork, though, if you’re capable.”

Ooh, that one hit. She can’t back down from a challenge.

I took a moment, and focused energy to my toe, the strange static sensation coursing down my entire body. It invigorated me and energized my head, but I could probably activate a sigil as long as I kept it from draining me like the other one did.

I chuckled. “Hey Miss Nobility, have you studied jzanmah?”

“Yes, why?” That name seemed to irritate her, but she was being oddly compliant so I didn’t care.

“You know how to draw and activate shapes?”

“Yes, what are you trying to ask? Be succinct.”

“I’ll do one that can extract poison, but you’re going to be the one who draws the shape for me.”

Her face contorted somehow more confused and pissy than it already was. I didn’t think it was possible. “Your arms are unusable and I cannot use regenerative energy. I will summon Mother Yeline.”

“Do you just assume everyone is an incompetent simpleton? Lis-”

“They are.” She started walking out.

I sighed, sensing the weakening aura from her brother. “Your brother is dying of dehydration and Mother Yeline is probably too old to do it in one session today. She already spent half of it fixing me up. So unless you’re planning on smooching water into your brother’s mouth, you might wanna swallow your pride.” She halted and glared back at me. I pointed my glowing big toe at her face with a snarky smile. “All you gotta do is hold my leg and draw the shape while I focus jzanmah. Oh but what would I, the incompetent simpleton know?”

She scowled and returned to my bedside. “Hold out your foot and I will do it myself.”

“I think you’ll find that it won’t work.”

“And why is that?” She picked up my leg and began tracing what I imagined the sigil looked like, but there was nothing.

“I’m surprised you have noticed, actually. I’m an incompetent simpleton who hasn’t memorized the sigil. Now would you show me the book? Like I said, teamwork, probably something you suck at judging by your brother’s condition.”

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She threw my leg down. In a flash, her face was right in front of mine and warm metal from the flat of a dagger pressed against my neck. “You know nothing of why any of this happened. If you order me around again and keep opening your worthless mouth, I’ll cut your throat out where you sit.”

The threat of death was jarring, but I’d been in too much pain to be afraid of her. I was just getting pissed off at her. “Your brother’s been out for what, two, three days? I don’t know how he’s not dead already, but he’s damn near close. So get your blade off my throat or I’ll let him die. And if you kill me, Mother Yeline might not be able to save him. I’m trying to help your brother, so help me help him. Pick up my leg and work with me. Then we don’t ever have to see each other again.”

She was seething with rage. “I should have you imprisoned for life on the charge of disrespecting nobility. And your threat against him warrants execution in itself. You will help me, and then I will decide what happens with you.” She sheathed the dagger and lifted my leg. “Do it.”

“No.” I stared at her blankly.

“What?” Her eyes snapped over to me, furious.

I looked at her like the idiot she was. “Remember how I said I wouldn’t help if you hurt me? Well, now I’m adding that if you threaten to harm me, then I’m not helping.”

“If you think you’re in any position to negotiate-”

“Cool, then we wait for Mother Yeline and maybe he dies. It’s not my loss. You threaten me, I threaten you. I’m tryna be nice here and you’re kinda being an insufferable bitch.” I stared apathetically into her furious fiery eyes. This was my only bargaining chip and I was really stretching it now.

“Fine, I won’t execute you or lock you in a prison. I promise.” A cruel, cornered smile grew on her face after saying that. I didn’t trust it.

Well, it’s better than being killed on the spot, I suppose.

Her words may have meant nothing, but she seemed too prideful to lie outright. I raised my leg to her and she began jerking it around in the shapes. “Ease up on the grip! You’re yanking it way too hard!”

“You’re twitching too much! Stop trying to resist.”

“I’m not resisting! You’re digging in with your nails!”

“Sit still and let me do what I need to do!”

“I can’t! Hold on! It’s gonna-! Hold- Ah!”

“Eugh! It’s all over my hand!”

“I told you to take it easy!”

She flicked a smatter of blood onto the sheets and wiped her hand on my satchel. “It’s a simple sigil! All you have to do is focus and let me move your leg! What is so difficult about that! Now we have to restart!”

“Ease up on the fuckin’ death grip! I can’t focus when your talons are digging in and jerkin’ me around like a blind hooker.”

She took a deep breath and picked up my leg more gently. I relaxed my muscles and held my foot straight out, then nodded and she began drawing. The first shape was the bottom half of a circle with waves on top of it. She traced too fast and the shape scattered as she was at the trough of the middle wave.

I groaned as a blast of heat shot through my head to my toe. “That was the first shape! How much jzanmah do you think I can take? Precision, please!”

“Your leg is stiff! Loosen it!”

“It is loose! Just slow down!”

We started again, and she traced the first shape in no time. The next shape was three wavy lines going to a point above the waves. I held my leg as loose as possible for her until she pulled it too far.

“Hey! Hey!”

I couldn’t balance myself with my slinged arms and I started falling off the right side of the cot. She threw out her left hand and grabbed my bicep, shoving me back onto the bed by my shattered limb. I yelled through gritted teeth, trying to hold still as the shards shredded my muscles. Jzanmah ripped through my head as I lost focus from all the pain, but she finished the shape.

She wiped her left hand on the sheets and grimaced at me, “That is disgusting.”

I mocked her grimace and then rolled my eyes. “Eat me.”

The searing pain in my arm ruined any chances I had of maintaining control of the flow through me, but I steadied my breathing and readied for the third shape. This one was the top half of a circle that intersected the bottom of the other half circle, making it look almost like an hourglass. It was pretty simple, so it didn’t take much effort from either of us, but that didn’t stop her fingers from digging into my leg, grasping it as hard as she could. The shape bolded and her grip loosened a little. She looked at me for the next one, which was sure to be the hardest.

“You gotta loosen your grip.”

“It’s all flab and bone, there’s nothing to grip.

“Just start tracing.”

Shape four was a wavy clockwise spiral that went around five times before reaching the center. It was small and had to be placed inside the upper half of the hourglass very precisely. Not something to be done with somebody else’s foot. Our attempt was slow. Sweat dripped down my forehead as my entire body heated from the energy. Her hands were gripping my calf so hard that my leg was on the verge of seizing again.

“Easy on the grip. Easy, easy.”

Her grip tightened as a reaction to me saying that. My muscles lightly seized and my foot spasmed upward, breaking the shape. Her eyes whipped daggers at me and I was staring just as intensely back.

“If you grab my leg that hard, I can’t control when my foot spasms. Lighten the fuck up or just grab my foot.” She begrudgingly grabbed my foot, which twitched as she began maneuvering it. “Okay, ah-ah-no, that’s tickling me, maybe just the ankle.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head in misery. “By the brain, control yourself.” She pulled my leg into position, holding it under her left arm, then grabbed my heel with her right.

I ushered her not to dilly dally. “Quickly! Today!”

The entire sigil was quivering, so she started the wavy spiral. The first time around the spiral was perfect. The second was good. On the third, she shifted her grip and her fingers dug into the bottom of my foot. I held it tight, so much that it was on the verge of cramping. Fourth was successful. Finally, the fifth one, the smallest, most precise one. She was struggling with it, the spirals were too close to meeting and the waves were getting too big.

I calmingly whispered, “Take it easy, hone it in.”

She slowly adjusted and reached the end of the spiral. The shape bolded and both of us let out a heavy sigh of relief.

“How do we activate it?” She held the book close to me and frantically pushed her head against mine to read the page.

“Let go! Let go! I’ve gotta push it in the direction of the person. I’m gonna kick it toward him.” She let go of my leg and I started slipping off the cot. “I’m falling! Hold me up!”

She quickly shoved my back up and gripped the back of my neck to steady me. I adjusted my leg, and prayed for a miracle. I pressed my foot out and the shape slowly floated toward him. I overshot it.

“Lift him up!”

She darted to her brother and yanked him upward into the path of the slow-moving sigil. It impacted his chest and a light green glow appeared above him. She set him down, and we watched streams of green light burst out of his skin, evaporating into the floating green sphere in the air. It slowly darkened as it absorbed the toxins. My vision clouded and my head spun. The sigil wasn’t going out of control as bad, but it was exhausting me. My connection started waning, only strengthening as another jolt of warm metal hit my neck.

“You keep that sigil going or I’m gouging your throat open.” She sounded almost like she was desperate.

“Liar.” I slurred out.

Angrily growling, she lightly cut into my neck, a small stinging slice down the nerve-heavy side. It gave me enough of a jolt that I was able to focus my energy and stay awake as the sigil completed. I laid there limply as a new voice emerged.

“Simira? Where am I?”

“By the brain, you’re awake! Good.” Her tone had completely lightened up and the blade fell away.

My head was spinning too much to listen to anything else they said. I didn’t fall asleep, but I wasn’t exactly conscious either. However long it lasted, I laid in that spot, half-conscious and catatonic with a burning heat in my skull.

* * * * *

I tuned back into reality at some point of the night. I quietly groaned from the pain in my arms and head. What a migraine I had. Must have been from the sigil.

“Excuse me, miss?” A kind, gentlemanly voice caught my ears.

I squinted up into eyes like a vibrant sun, belonging to the man I had freed from the hold of poison. He was sitting next to my cot, worriedly watching me. “Huh?”

He awkwardly shifted for a second, reaching out like he was trying to help, but unable to figure out what to do. “Would you like some assistance sitting, or would you prefer to stay laying? I can-”

Simira’s sharp voice cut through like a jagged knife. “Thank her, Tarynn. This is becoming arduous.” She approached my bedside. “You have my thanks and appreciation for saving my brother. I am currently unable to provide repayment, but I will arrange for it when my compatriots return.”

I shot her a smile and an “I told you so” wink. She exhaustedly sighed.

“Sister, she has overused a sigil. I would prefer to thank her when she is comfortable.”

“I’m going for a walk. I can’t bear to be around this woman any longer.” She trudged away then stopped at the door. “Do not be rash. You have an arrangement to abide by.”

“I am aware, sister.” The door slammed and we were left alone.

I wearily gazed up at him. “She said your name is Tarynn, right?”

“Tarynn Amien, son of the Viscount Hazjiken Amien. And you?”

“I’m, uh, Vetia.” It was still a little weird saying a joke name, but it was starting to grow on me.

He reached out like he wanted to grab my hand with both of his, but upon seeing my mangled fingers, he gently rested his hand on my shoulder until he realized that was also shattered and promptly rested them on the bed with a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I appreciate the gesture.” I awkwardly chuckled at him.

“Well, Vetia, I want to thank you for saving my life at your own expense. Being both crippled and exhausted, you worked with my sister to restore me. I could not extend enough gratitude in a lifetime to make up for saving my life and, more surprisingly, finding a way to work with my sister. You have my apologies if she caused any discomfort or…” he reached a hand out and gently touched my neck, investigating the knick from Simira’s dagger before pulling away. “...or pain.”

“Don’t think too hard about it. I don’t want you to be disillusioned. In all honesty, I didn’t do it just for you. She was threatening my life. Didn’t really give me a choice once she found out I was a healer with the sigil she needed.”

“She tells me you were insistent that the Mother would not make it in time. Had you not convinced her of that, I may not be alive now.”

“I was just in the right place at the right time is all.” A strand of hair was blown by the wind into my eyes. I blinked and blew at it, but it only moved once Tarynn caressed my head and pushed the hair from my face.

“Perhaps, but I cannot help feeling that the hair had a part in this.”

I raised an eyebrow. “The- my hair? Huh?”

He chuckled. “Are you a foreigner to these lands?”

“That’s a simple way of putting it.”

“Ah. The hair of the Divine Body, the threads which guide us to one another. Through these strands of hair, these strange coincidences, are we brought into each other’s lives. The stronger the thread and the stranger the circumstances, the greater the impact we will have on each other.”

I smiled as I thought over what he said. “Oh, that’s cool. Kinda weirdly beautiful.”

“I could say the same of you.”

I was a little distant, but as his compliment set in, heat rushed to my face and I started shrinking into myself. Did I hear that right? He… he…

My head filled with TV static.

My voice stammered stupidly, racing through words as I tried processing the fact that I’d been complimented for the fourth time in my entire life. Not to mention I was fighting back smiling like a creep after being complimented like that.

“I- eh- I’m… huh? No, I mean, I, uh, thanks. You too.”

Oh fuck, I really fumbled that one.

He shook his head politely. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to be too forward if you are already arranged.”

“NO! Er- no, I just, um, wasn’t expecting it and I’m still a little loopy from being tired. Hah. Thank you, though. I’m flattered. Wait, didn’t your sister say something about your arrangement? Is it okay for you to say something like that?”

A brief moment of painful reality returned to his face. “Yes, I am arranged to commit. It was my sister’s will which contracted us to it, though. A political arrangement, as it were. And as they go, I have no love for her and she has no love for me, nor anyone, but I suppose my sister is worried my arrangement’s father will rescind if I am unfaithful.”

“But why are you doing it? Like, what do you get from it?”

He pondered for a moment. “I… I’m doing it because it’s what I have been told to do. It’s my duty to the city for being born noble. I live a luxurious life with a woman who mocks and despises me.”

“Honestly, I don’t blame you for not wanting it.”

“In truth, I want no part in any of it. Politics and nobility. I see common folk and they… they love each other.”

“No love to spare at the top?”

“Hah, no. My family does not, as much as I wish they did. My father is obsessed with power and my mother would have drank herself to death had she not come upon her untimely demise. Now, my sister is grasping in the dark to keep our house from collapsing around her.”

“That’s… a lot.” Holy shit, a lot to unpack from that one.

He nodded and gazed into my eyes, resetting a smile. “Apologies, I don’t mean to sulk.”

I shook my head. “I asked. You answered. It’s cool.”

He cleared his throat. “What do you do? Where are you from?”

“I’m… from really far away. I’m a little out of my element here, and I kind of have nothing. My arms were destroyed saving my friends from these… things- I don’t know what they were, but it was a really bad fight. I’m still new to sigils and everything, and the people here. It’s strange, being in a new place with nothing.”

“Where do you plan on going?”

“I don’t know where there is to go. I think I’m just gonna try figuring out what I can do and go from there.”

“Who do you want to be?”

“What are you, my counselor?” I laughed awkwardly.

He returned the laugh. “I am interested in the one who saved my life. A striking stranger from an apparently faraway land who ended up in the cot across from me at the moment I needed her. Consider me intrigued.”

I looked down, a little embarrassed for some reason. “I guess… I guess I want to find a place to call home, something simple. I don’t really have any lofty goals. I dunno, I’ve got new opportunities. I just want to be a good person and, now that I can heal, maybe help people, but you know, without destroying my arms every time.”

Tarynn chuckled delightedly. “That’s wonderful. I’d say you’re already close to being that person.”

“What about you? If you weren’t tied down with royal shit, what would you wanna do? Uh, sorry, I curse a lot, it’s a bad habit.”

“Do not trouble yourself to change. If that’s who you are, I’m happy to experience it.” He furrowed his brows and gazed at his clothes. “If I wasn’t an Amien… I think I would want to be a general.”

I couldn’t hide the odd surprise on my face and he saw it clearly.

He clarified. “I want to lead people, but not rule them as a viscount or a count does, or even an emperor. I want to… inspire people and give them hope for a brighter future. The world, it feels so bleak so often. On the battlefield is where the hearts of men can be swayed toward incredible feats of honor and bravery. Or so Andris tells me.”

“That’s a lot more noble than I was initially expecting.”

“Thank you. Would you be offended if I ask to stay? I believe I would like to get to know you better.”

“It’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.” I smiled bashfully.

He smiled and stared into my eyes like he was deep in thought, and I couldn’t help meeting his gaze and holding it.

“Your eyes mesmerize me. I don’t think another pair of eyes in this world could compare. It’s as if your pupils are spires of starry darkness in the crimson hue of the sunset.”

Wait a fucking second, this guy’s hitting on me. HUH?!

My heart felt like it was gonna burst and my chest was tingly, like a thousand butterflies were darting around with as much embarrassment as I had.

Am I sweating? Wait, fuck, I’m not actually falling for this guy, am I? Granted, he is really really hot, but I was a guy too, like, a few days ago. But not anymore. His aura is all… weird and aroused, and I feel it? FUCKIN HELL! It’s weird, and scary, but I kinda like it. Do I? I don’t know if I like it or not. Am I having an anxiety attack? No way. This can’t be real. This is like some bullshit out of those books all the theater girls doted over where some hot prince in an arranged marriage finds a personalityless self-insert that he falls in love with. Have I fallen so far and become a personalityless self-insert that falls in love with dashing princes? No, I have tons of personality. I totally do. But a guy? Wait, does that make me gay? I thought I was into women. Am I still? Maybe not anymore? And is it gay because I’m technically a woman now. Or am I mentally not? And my gut, why’s it feel so weird? Nope nope nope! I AM NOT GOING DOWN THAT AVENUE YET! Oh God, fuck, it’s all too much for me. You know what, fuck it, I’ll just go with it and see where I end up. Let nature take its course.

“Are you okay? Was I too forward again? You’re oddly paler than before, if that’s possible.”

My eyes couldn’t focus on anything and I was really struggling to fight back the creepy smile.

Like he really complimented me all poetically and shit. Do women really just get complimented all the time like this? I didn’t even do anything for it. I mean, sure, I saved him, but I just laid here doing nothing afterward. Three compliments that quickly. It’s that easy? Holy fuck.

Wood clashed against wood at the door of the clinic. And she was back. Simira. Thank God. I needed something to distract me from feeling like this so suddenly.

“Ew,” Simira grimaced. “Why is she smiling like a pervert?”

Tarynn lowered his head and became awfully meek as Simira stormed forward. “I suppose I have made her bashful as a result of my thanks. Vetia is more humble than you made her seem.”

Her disgusted expression turned back to me. “I said before that he’s committed. And if you think of interfering, you should kill yourself. Anyway, our sleeping arrangements have been secured. I’ll show you where.” She waited at the door for Tarynn, who lagged behind a bit to say one last thing.

“Perhaps we may speak in less uncomfortable circumstances tomorrow. Perhaps I should have waited for the sigil’s effects to heal more properly so you could be in the best mentality. Please, rest and heal.”

Simira groaned.

I smiled at him, still reeling from my rapid heartbeat and light head. “Y-yeah, that sounds like fun.”

They both left and I was alone, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening to me.