“Penny! Awww, look at your little hands! Come here, let Claire-ee give them a wash.”

Our exit was side-tracked by the entrance of the little terror. She quickly detached herself from my leg and hugged Claire, plastering a mess of fruit juice, dirt and whatever else onto Claire’s clothes and armour.

She didn’t care one bit. They were both over in the kitchenette, Claire hoisting up Penelope to wash her hands in the trough. Percival had a large barrel neatly built into the wall that he filled each morning, which made it seem like they had running water.

Piliton heard the ruckus and came back, armed with a stack of books. He was happy for Penelope to come with us, as long as she continued to study. And there was no way that Claire would leave her behind — even though Piliton might have treated her perfectly well, he was still a dangerous man who ran a slave trading ring and a fighting pit.

Talk about positive influences.

So it was decided. Penelope was ours once again. I considered her to be a burden, whilst Claire preferred the word ‘blessing’.

And the first thing we had to do with our little blessing, according to the blessing itself, was take her camping.

“I want to make fire!” she demanded. “And grill a fish!”

Claire smiled. “Anything else? Ollie can do more than catch fish.”

“Jacket potatoes!” she screamed. “I can pick the herbs to go with everything!”

Fine, I thought. You shall be repaying me with knowledge.

**************

We picked a spot about two hours north of Piliton’s Manor, which was about three hours south-east of Piliton’s Palace. Either the family used to own a lot more land than they currently did, or they’d just moved around as time went on.

And they’re about to own a lot more land.

I was tasked with clearing the area where our canvas tarp and campfire would go. Penelope had insisted that there could be snakes or dangerous creepy crawlies, so Claire suggested that I should be the one to sacrifice myself. Penelope wholeheartedly agreed.

The two of them were down at a small brook, washing their feet. I could hear Penelope laughing as Claire flicked water at her.

“I wish I could get EXP for doing stuff like this,” I murmured to myself. Assembling the campfire was more difficult than fighting a {Codglop}, and lighting it without the assistance of Claire’s fire arrows may as well have been a boss fight.

In the end, I just got everything else ready and waited for Claire to come back. She shot an imbued arrow into a bundle of tinder which I picked up and pushed beneath the kindling and larger pieces of wood.

Before long, the fire was roaring and Penelope was in Claire’s lap, holding her feet and ankles out toward the warm flames to dry them off. I was doing my best to cook some potatoes that Percival had given us, though they were getting pretty charred.

“Hope you’re not too hungry!” I told Penelope.

“Jacket potatoes!” she replied.

In the real world, I knew that wrapping potatoes in foil and putting them under some hot coals was a half-decent way to cook them, but B&B cooking was a whole new beast. To begin with, I had no foil, and it was difficult to judge temperature, because things that were extremely hot felt quite a bit less-hot in my hands. My [Hoplite’s] palms would be covered in blisters if I wasn’t careful.

Oh wait. My vitality is super-human. Blisters don’t exist for me.

Night fell, and our bellies were reasonably full of semi-cooked potatoes. Claire looked at me with alarm when she received the consumption bonuses.

“Plus one Defence, and minus three Endurance?!” She switched to a whisper and covered Penelope’s ears. “Are you trying to kill Penny?”

“Yes, Claire. I’m a satanic dude who’s trying to kill the cutest kid I’ve ever seen. Of course I’m not trying to kill Penelope.”

“I wasn’t being literal, you dork.”

She lay back and watched the fire. Insects whizzed around, landing on my face and my arms. Claire wrapped Penelope in a blanket that she pulled from her inventory.

“Were you preparing for this moment?” I asked. “You’re like, the most maternally-minded seventeen-year-old I’ve ever met. You told off freaking Tabitha for treating Marla poorly. That was ballsy.”

“Watch your language around P. I don’t want her picking up your bad habits. And no, I wasn’t preparing, I’m just prepared. You should consider learning about it — you mightn’t be such a liability if you did.”

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I chuckled. “Mhm. I’m the liability. Not the person who brought along a child who we now have to take turns watching until we somehow find a non-crazy person for her to stay with.”

“You know you can sleep in B&B, right? I heard about a pro who put himself basically on life-support so that he could clock up as many hours as possible training. He never had to disconnect.”

“You’re kidding. How did he eat and drink and go to the toilet?”

“Intravenous drip for fluids and nutrients, then to help him pee they used this thing called a catheter. They pretty much just shove it up his—”

“WOAH! Stop right there!” I cried. “Are you trying to scar me for life?!”

Claire laughed, trying not to jolt Penelope too much. Watching the little bundle of blankets bounce up and down in her lap made her laugh even more.

“You seriously didn’t know what a catheter was? It’s not like it’s a strange medical instrument.”

“I guess I’d heard of the word, but I didn’t realise it had to go insi— nevermind. I really don’t want to talk about that. If you normalise it, I might want to do it in the lead up to the Youth Olympics.”

“You’re actually going to compete in that?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

Claire shrugged, but didn’t explain her surprise. I didn’t push her. Events like the Olympics were divisive topics, especially the Youth age group. Some people thought that pitching a cohort of seventeen and eighteen-year-old kids against each other in a series of fights, races and other competitions was bad for overall morale. Even worse was that the teams were split into country groups, then weighted according to the size of the country.

Some of the more passionate graduates would go into their next year with a disdain for anyone but their fellow countrymen. It not only made it needlessly difficult for them to function in the multicultural world of B&B, but it also gave them a poor motivation for success. Building up your character’s stats and skills just to deliver a can of whoop-ass to your neighbour across the pond wasn’t the best long-term motivation.

In saying that, there’s a good chunk of Top Ten Thousand players that are undeniably racist.

They called it ‘patriotism’, of course.

I was busy working out our sleep schedule when Claire stood up and carried Penelope over to me. She lowered her down onto my back, where she sleepily latched on around my neck.

“I’m gonna go for a walk. You wanna come?”

“It’s getting proper dark. I was thinking I’d have a quick dinner then come back so you can have yours.”

“Nah, not yet. Just a quick one?”

“Fine.”

I got to my feet and followed her onto the road. I couldn’t see any of the million little potholes and gaps beneath me, but they did their best to trip me up. Penelope slept through every bump.

Once again, Claire spent most of her time looking up at the sky. She craned back her neck and her mouth sat open, unfazed by the occasional pack of gnats we’d walk through.

I just watched her and tried not to think about all the times she’d saved me from respawning back in the wilderness surrounding the Yard. I figured it was balanced out by the number of times she’d tried to send me there.

“I get you’re probably hungry, but the bugs you’re catching won’t make up the nutrients,” I called.

“Shut up and be my guide. I keep walking off the path.”

She slowed down until we were walking next to each other, then slipped her arm around mine. I immediately thought back to us hauling out those wooden beams at Lily’s.

It’s just an arm, Ollie. Everyone has them. Two, in fact.

I told myself she’d tried to kill me multiple times. Once with a rolling pin. I told myself that coming with me on quests that I definitely would’ve failed alone didn’t make up for it, even though I knew, to me, that it did.

I tried everything I could to not let that stupid crush creep back up on me.

It wasn’t working.

It’s just an arm. She’s just pretty, and nice. Annette is pretty and nice, and you don’t have a crush on her. Hold it together, man.

“What are you looking for up there?” I asked.

“Anything. It’s all really cool to me. And I don’t get to see it unless I’m here. Sorry I made you come with — you can wait back at the camp if you’re bored. Or leave Penny with me and I’ll take the first watch out here.”

“Nah, it’s all good. I wouldn’t know how to find you once I get back. I’d probably end up back at Piliton’s or something.”

“The Palace or the Manor?”

“It’d honestly be 50/50 if I didn’t have access to a map. My sense of direction isn’t so crash hot.”

“Uh huh.”

She had to look down a bit when she spoke, so her responses gradually shortened.

“So, um, you got any siblings?”

“One. You know that.”

“Ah. Hobbies?”

“Not many.”

“Favourite TV show?”

“I’ve never watched TV.”

She’s never watched TV? How does one go through seventeen years of life without watching TV?

We peeled off the road into the bullrush and long grass. Claire didn’t seem to mind the sharp points of the bullrush, but I had to lean over to stop Penelope from getting jabbed. Claire got to look up while I was struggling to even see where I was going.

“Could you perhaps…expand on what you’re looking at? I get that it’s all good stuff, but I’m a bit limited back here. I swear this child of yours is getting heavier every second.”

“She’s not my child. In fact, we should probably try and work out who her parents are, and if they’re still around. And right now, I’m looking at a group of six stars that look remarkably like your nose.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. Six stars. Your nose. Barely any differences. Oh my god! Ollie! There’s a few dots below it that kind of look like your chin! You’ve got a butt chin, you know. I’ve got a cherry chin cos I’m more genetically advanced.”

I hurried forward, pulling Penelope around to my front so that she was easier to carry. Once I made it to Claire, I placed my head next to hers and got her to point out my stars.

“Claire…I’m ugly!”

“NOoooo! You’re not ugly. Trust me. Lord Piliton is ugly. Ooze Man is an abomination. You’re easy enough on the eyes.”

Did my heart just flutter? Is this a heart attack? Oh god don’t let me randomly collapse while I’m carrying Penelope. Claire wouldn’t forgive me.

My BPM reasserted control. I realised I hadn’t spoken in a while.

“Thanks for saying that. We should probably get back, you know.”

She turned to me and grabbed my hands. Penelope was only just staying latched on.

“Ollie, I need to tell you something.”

Oh crap.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never opened up about this kind of thing to a relative stranger before, so you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?”

Oh god it’s happening. Right as I started to feel the same way again…

“I won’t say a word. I promise you. You can talk to me.”

“It’s the reason I like looking at the stars, and why I think Penny is the best, and why you basically had to tear me away from staring at the waterfall outside Piliton’s Palace.”

Oh?

Her eyes met mine. Her bottom lip was trembling.

“In the real world…” she started. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“In the real world, I’m blind.”