This was far from my first run-in with the Asterians, but it wasn’t the soldiers themselves that bothered me, it was the two-hundred-foot-tall rock they stood on.

I could see their outposts and cooking fires, especially now that daylight was waning and each of them lit up like a beacon all the way to the horizon. The soldiers were small dots up there, moving about as they guarded the natural entrance to Asteroth.

They hadn’t been kind enough to provide a tunnel, and a quick double-check of the map confirmed that I wouldn’t be able to go round the long way.

Well, I could, but it would add about five hundred miles onto my trip as well as a freezing cold swim when the plateau eventually became the ocean.

The only two options were battling my way up the heavily guarded switchbacks, or scaling the cliffside, also adorned with plenty of soldiers ready to greet me at the top.

This was a job to be done at nightfall — just not this nightfall. I got myself closer to the wall under cover of darkness, then trod into the undergrowth and disconnected.

--Disconnecting, please wait—

I sat up just as my stomach grumbled at me, feeling like an upset snake was wriggling and curling around in my belly. I could smell cooking, reminding me that I hadn’t helped out with any of the chores in a solid couple of weeks.

“I’m here!” I called. I’d built a reputation for missing dinner, so Mom and Dale were accustomed to eating without me. It was hard to keep track of time when it felt like there was always something to do, some goal to work towards.

“Get your toosh down here quick-smart then! We’re serving up!” Mom called back.

I rushed down, the pins and needles in my legs and feet protesting. I had some concerns about the amount of time I was spending horizontal, though at my size and weight, my heart was probably about as stressed as a black cat sleeping in the sun.

We ate for about three seconds before I pitched my issue.

“Biiiig rock. Two thousand Asterians. I can’t climb in case I fall, but I also can’t go up the switchbacks unless I want to fight every one of them. Thoughts?”

Dale cut off a slab of his steak and heaped on some mashed potato.

“Invisibility?”

I shook my head. “Otto’s last attempt kinda sucked.”

“Disguise?” Mom threw out.

“Does that even work? I assumed that the AI would know I’m a player.”

They both took a moment to think. I didn’t know much about Mom’s past as a player, except that she was ultra-quick. [Swashbucklers] were good all-rounders, so she could’ve been anything.

“They’re not homing missiles,” Dale started. “You might be in trouble if you got too close, or if you showed your face, but I think you could probably try for the switchbacks. If it all goes wrong, it might not even be a bad place to fight — small lanes, only taking on two or three soldiers at a time.”

Mom disagreed. “Alternatively, it’s a terrible location. Difficult to escape, arrows raining down on you, barrels of hot tar if you’re lucky. I’d brush up on your climbing.”

Their approaches were in line with their choice of class. Dale’s exact selection was still a mystery, but Esko hinted at something close-range, like a melee class. Mom was agility and stealth through and through.

“So you guys are cancelling each other out, and I’m back at square one.”

“Pretty much. Your food is getting cold.”

I took the hint and dropped B&B for a while. I gnawed at my steak, grinding sinew between my teeth. The meat was as tough as my newest conundrum.

Then, I had a desperate thought.

I rushed back upstairs, immersed, and checked my Stats screen. I’d received the ‘Bard of the Yard’ title from the Liberate the Yard quest, and I’d never checked it out. I could see myself being a bard about as clearly as I could see myself being an elephant.

Bard of the Yard

Consumables crafted in Bill’s Yard grant 5x bonuses

Holy crap.

It wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped for, but it was powerful. My first thought was that I could bring a cart full of different food items, but there was something far better.

Potions.

It would require a trip back to the Yard, but…

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

[Dash]

I turned around and started running, figuring that I could sort out a plan on the road. Even with {The Glass Cannon} and my buffed stats, I’d need something big to carve my way through two thousand soldiers.

If I could’ve sent a message to Otto, I would’ve ordered ahead. My only other option was far less appealing.

With trepidation, I opened my Messages and selected Claire.

[Sorry to call again so soon. Having issues with a couple thousand soldiers. Can you ask Otto what potions he can make to help out?]

I wasn’t giving up on our friendship, even if I had to be an annoying piece of crap to break through this wall of awkwardness.

The road curved and I followed it round, watching the last auras of orange light fade on the horizon, the world turning dark.

[Who tf is Otto. Go away]

That was a good point. Kind of contradicting to ask me a question then tell me to leave her alone, but I took it as a sign to approach.

[Octopus man at the pub far north of the plaza. There’s also a big hole outside the place, oops.]

[Knew that was related to you. I’m going to sleep. Get someone else to do your errands, stick boy.]

I had no other errand-runners on my list. It had become significantly harder to find friends once they all donned Asterian uniform and were told to kill me on sight. My social standing had improved since then, but I didn’t know any names.

My Endurance was starting to fade, and I could tell that my steps were shortening. The long, powerful strides I’d managed before were reduced to meagre steps as the miles caught up with me. This was nowhere near the level of strain that real exercise would give, but I would’ve run a marathon over the past couple hours. I was nearing the limits of a human’s ability, if not exceeding them.

I walked for a while, taking in the nightscape. In between civilisations, the world was wild and unkempt, devoid of the strict organisation, fencing and ‘Entry Prohibited’ signs I was used to. Wildlife scampered between groves of trees, some of them probably monsters, and the road was muddy, then rocky, then smooth. Each time the wind blew through, the scratching sound of leaves brushing against each other made me look around nervously while tingles ran down my spine.

This place was real. Like the first time I’d immersed, I was stunned by the beauty of the game.

The World’s Game. A place we all fought and suffered, some for the sake of money and others in pursuit of glory.

That got me thinking.

Three hundred thousand krad. If I took that, I’d be well on my way to buying Mom a house, and I’d have more than enough money to enjoy the game for what it truly was, not what it represented. Even just looking at what I was doing now, I would’ve been flabbergasted if I’d told my younger self about these quests.

I’d been tasked with fighting through a horde of enemies to reach a foreign kingdom, a place where I’d recover an ancient set of armour. It was almost cruel to view it just as part of my day-job.

The quest for the two flowers wasn’t quite as exciting, but the fact that they were required to stop Otto from blowing up the town was a fun way to look at it.

It might’ve just been the eerie night, or maybe my stress had dissipated, but in that moment I was happy.

My reflection carried me all the way into Otto’s Pub at around 3am. The doors were open, but no one was inside. They must’ve gotten enough shelters set up in the centre of town that they no longer needed the space this place afforded.

I entered the basement. For the third or fourth time since meeting him, Otto was tending to the plant in the barrel.

“Hey bud, watcha up to?”

“I believe it’s called propagation, but don’t quote me on that. You’re back already with my flowers?”

He turned to inspect his delivery, frowning when he saw I was empty-handed.

“That doesn’t look like Perrywort or a Dallytongue. What’s the deal? How can I help?”

“Well, I encountered a blockade of Asterians. There’s about two thousand of them camped up on The Great Plateau, and I don’t think they’re particularly fond of me. I was hoping you could brew me a few potions to help?”

He plucked a dead piece of stem off the plant and broke it up as he headed for the lab. Once in there, he crushed it in a bowl and added it to a pot of boiling water.

“Yikes, mate. Might need more than a few potions if there’s that many of the buggers. What’re you envisioning? I got some stuff that’ll make you stink real bad — either that or you’ll grow an extra arm.”

The more experience I gained with his potions, the less confident I became that this was the right choice. I’d travelled much too far for this to be wrong.

“Well, the best I could hope for is fire-breathing, super-speed and a suit of diamonds covering my entire body, but I’d settle for anything that will help me stay alive.”

“So the fart-spray one is out?”

“I’m afraid so.”

He stirred his pot while the water turned to a pale brown, umm’ing and ahh’ing until he tasted the liquid, poured in a shot of whiskey, and poured the finished product into a glass.

“Poor Man’s Hot Toddy, I call this!” he slurped down a long draught then popped an ice block directly into his mouth. “I reckon I got some ideas, old buddy old pal. How ‘bout you come back tomorrow, around midday? Octopi need sleep, too.”

His sleep schedule was as poorly maintained as mine, but I agreed and left him to finish his drink. Waiting wasn’t too bad; I wouldn’t be able to run all the way back without sufficient rest anyway.

--Disconnecting, please wait—

The house was silent, and I considered sleeping in the Pod so I didn’t wake anyone. I would’ve done it, but my teeth had that furry feeling from not brushing and it would’ve irked me so much I never would’ve slept.

I tripped over some random crap on the floor and it flew, impacting my cupboard doors with a sound like a bat in a bird cage. Someone rustled out of Mom and Dale’s room and went to the kitchen, so I whacked myself on the forehead and flopped into bed.

--Immersing, please don’t disconnect--

“WOAH!”

My eyes flew open and I sat up, throwing away the covers.

My room. In bed, not the Pod. Bad dream.

It felt like I’d just blinked once, but sunlight already leaked through my window. Granted, that could’ve meant it was only a few hours later — barely more than a solid nap.

My clothes from the night before were still on, so I trudged straight back to the Pod, skipping breakfast. These bad habits would catch up to me at some point, but I hoped it would be at least a few decades into the future.

--Immersing, please don’t disconnect--

This one was real. I was back at the pub, sitting in the first basement. The door to the lab was closed, but I could hear Otto talking to someone, exclaiming about something he’d been shown.

“…omenal stuff!...and if I…great!”

I pushed on the wall and the gears did their thing. When it was open wide enough, I poked my head in to see what was going on.

Otto looked quite happy to see me, but the person next to him was not. She took off her goggles and placed them on the table, then grabbed a rolling pin.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun.”