Cold.
I’d been uncomfortable when we’d walked under the waterfall. I’d shivered and not wanted to go, like kicking back warm covers on a brisk morning.
But this was not that.
Whatever the game was supposed to do to suppress this ache, it wasn’t doing it. Or it was, but the feeling was so severe that this hellish experience was the best it could offer me.
Worst. Waterslide. Ever.
Claire writhed in my arms and I let her partly free, linking her arm over my shoulder and clenching mine around her waist. The latter really wasn’t required — she was tightening her arm around my neck like she wanted to strangle me.
“WHY!” she cried.
For multiple reasons, I couldn’t find the oxygen to reply. We clashed into a rock and I pushed us left, praying that I hadn’t been turned around too much in the dive. I heaved my spare arm out of the water, raising {The Glass Cannon} above my head so I wouldn’t lose it. Its long shaft clattered into things, but my hand was clenched tight and frozen in place. I couldn’t release it if I tried.
“Trust…me!” I finally gasped.
[Codglop] piled in after us, their bodies unflinching at the icy temperatures. Pretty soon I’d have to deal with at least one, and the chances of getting a good hit with {The Glass Cannon} were virtually nil.
“Claire! Giant…hole…when?”
We both saw the same nothingness, but I asked anyway. If playing [Huntress] gave her better eyesight, now was her opportunity to speak up and tell me that we were right there. Just a little further and safety was on the horizon.
Something told me that was wishful thinking.
The first [Codglop] collided with my legs, pulling us under. We bobbed back up, spluttering and coughing, but it wouldn’t be long before the next one came. This time they might hold on.
If I could just see the damn things, I could activate [Shield Wall] and blast them away, at least buying us some time. But I couldn’t even go under without—
Wait. The blue potion.
Water-breathing.
I briefly considered giving it to Claire, but she was bobbing along just fine. Only a minor panic attack. But that wouldn’t fix our problem. I needed to take out the [Codglops], and I needed to do it soon.
Unhooking my arm was difficult, but I reclaimed control over it and opened my inventory with a clumsy hand-movement out from my chest. The potion was there.
{Water-breathing Potion : Grade B} (Otto)
Equip? Yes/No
I missed the ‘Yes’ button a few times, but eventually it stuck. The stopper was hard to grip with my chattering teeth, but I popped it off and slugged down the blue liquid. Some sour water came in with it.
“Got a plan!” I yelled. “Let…go!”
A strong push disconnected us, sending Claire further downstream and slowing me for a moment. I dunked myself under, taking my first shuddering breath of the icy water. I’d be freezing from the inside out, but it was working. Whatever the potion did, water was at least not reaching my lungs and stomach.
Opening my eyes felt surprisingly refreshing, like popping an ice block in your mouth on a hot day. It was hard to understand why freezing my eyes off was a good feeling rather than agony, but who cares. My brain liked it.
Also, I could see. {Codglop} dolphin-kicked toward me in throngs, waving about their long bodies and webbed feet. I had a crack with {The Glass Cannon}.
[Dash] [Tsunami Strike]
It was clumsy, but I managed to hit one where it hurt. A vortex of bubbles and bits of {Codglop} exploded through the water. The skill’s area of effect expanded. No matter how talented they were at swimming, the monsters couldn’t hit the brakes fast enough.
{You have defeated a Level 61 Codglop.}{+326 EXP, +1 Codglop Caviar}
{You have defeated a Level 62 Codglop.}{+334 EXP}
Now we’re getting somewhere.
I resurfaced, concerned that I’d choke on the gaseous oxygen. I didn’t, but a new issue quickly became apparent.
Claire was nowhere to be seen. Or heard.
{Codglop} dropped in around me with a splash. I yanked my shield arm out of the water, fighting as the current dragged at it and tried to pull my arm off. A monster seized me.
[Shield Wall]
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
It got a couple of them, but there were far more to deal with.
“Claire? Claire!”
No reply.
I drifted a moment longer, confused as to how she could be doggy-paddling with no issues one moment, then spontaneously disappearing the next. She had told me she couldn’t swim, but her instincts seemed sufficient.
I’ve gone and killed her for the second time…
Right as I decided I was on my own, the river jetted me out into thin air.
I’d found the drop.
A deep pool of dark blue water materialized below, and there on the shore was Claire. She didn’t look so good.
My fall took forever, like gravity was acting up on me. The rest of the water flowed right on by, cascading down to the pool. When I finally touched the surface, it solidified beneath my feet, like I was the Messiah. The water from above never made contact, simply fading away at a spot just above my eye level.
I stared up at the {Codglop}. They were gathered by the river and cliff edges, shrieking.
“Suck on that!” I yelled. Their habitat’s stink was pervasive up there, but it didn’t survive below the cut-off point. The air here was salty, and thick, like the rock walls were pushing it away from them with invisible willpower.
“Claire! You good?”
She groaned, but it ended in a short fit of laughter, which spawned further pained groans.
“I hate swimming,” she decided. “Never doing it again.”
I grinned. “You were kind of a natural, to be honest. My friend used to have a Labrador that doggy-paddled worse than you.”
“It’s just all the Agility helping me out. My arms are like mini rotors these days.”
“I bet.”
She got up without the aid of an HP potion. They were to be used sparingly, as I understood it.
“So where the hell are we? And why don’t the {Codglops} want to come down here? I feel like we’re in a reversed aquarium.”
She wasn’t wrong. All it needed was a few mousy-faced kids knocking relentlessly on the glass with ice-cream-stained hands.
“I think it’s just a step deeper in the Palace. Do you see any flowers that look extremely hydrated?”
“Nope. You?”
“Non.”
We felt our way around the walls, meeting at the other edge once we’d completed a semi-circle each.
Nothing.
I shoved my head in the pool, looking for a secret underwater entrance. All I found was that my water-breathing potion had worn off.
I spluttered, choking down the stagnant water. “Come on, Claire. Surely you have some kind of skill to like, appraise the area or something. Like a trapfinder ability! [Huntresses] do traps!”
“I’m not that kind of [Huntress]. I face my enemies and look in their eyes when I kill them.”
“So metal, bro.”
She smirked. We swapped semi-circles in case one of us had missed something.
I made it all the way back to where I started, but Claire didn’t meet me there. Instead, she stood about halfway along her section, her head poking out from a gap in the wall.
“Nice one, stick-boy. Really good job missing this. You sure three thousand krad is enough for my services?”
“Go for a swim again, please,” I grumbled.
I’d missed an obvious-in-hindsight crevice that, when pulled, revealed a passage. It was studded with aquamarine, which I considered breaking off and taking back to Otto or Tren.
If I brought them the materials, their services might come far cheaper.
Claire was already well ahead of me, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. For now, we needed to find this flower and get out.
The path opened up into a room that felt way too much like a boss room.
“Arghhhh. I just want a goddamn flower.”
I slumped my back against the wall and felt sorry for myself. If I was wrong, and we weren’t about to fight a giant fish, the place could’ve also been a very cool temple. It was utterly symmetrical. Crystal blue water — no idea where that was flowing from — ran in identical thin channels down the centre of the room to the foot of a wide dais.
“Hey, Ollie, look! You’re on the walls!”
I’m on the walls?
Claire was pointing to a stone statue perched over the room, looking down on us. It was like an angel from an old church, but it had two wispy legs that sat on a pair of wide, naked buttocks. The statue winked toward the dais with one eye, but the other followed us around the room.
“Nuh uh. That’s creepy as shit. You go first. Also my legs don’t look like that.”
“But your butt does?”
“No comment.”
I climbed to my feet and we pushed onwards. Claire took the right side, I took the left. About halfway to the dais, I noticed something sprouting from a velvet cushion placed high on a stone pedestal.
The Dallytongue.
We just had to climb the dais to get it.
“Claire, that’s it. That’s what we’re here for.”
“Are you sure? That? Doesn’t look like it’s drinking a whole river.”
She had a point. But I had a better one.
“Why would they give it a whole-ass cushion if it wasn’t important? It lives more comfortably than I do.”
I whispered, because it felt right for the circumstances. We were so close now, I could [Dash] and set foot on the bottom step. With two [Dashes]…
A lady materialized in front of the Dallytongue. I immediately noticed a lack of fishy body parts and breathed a sigh of relief. She was probably still an enemy, but not one that smelled or looked like it.
“Howdy!” I called. “We’re just looking for a sample of that flow—Eerghh!”
The first assault hit us, and I cursed myself for challenging fate.
She reeked.
If the game was going to keep pulling these gross tricks, I would once again be immersing with only one node attached to my head, dulling my senses on purpose. I didn’t mind hot or cold so much, but putting us through rotten-meat-hell had to be the worst debuff they could muster.
Most games just cut your movement speed in half or something. Reverse your controls, maybe. Skip your turn if they’re evil.
The monster wore a striped blue bikini with yellow and white flowers dotted over the fabric. It was completely impractical for a fight, but we were in the equivalent of an all-monsters-allowed hot springs, so I let it slide.
On the bright side, there was less armour for me to pierce through or veer away from with {The Glass Cannon}.
“Mmmm. You want the Dallytongue?” she queried.
I nodded weakly, pinching my nose.
“Yeth pleath. Juth a liddle bid pleath.”
Claire had recovered. She crept forward, her bow strung.
“Mmmm. That pleases me. I haven’t fought anyone in a long, long time.”
That was good. She might be rusty, or decrepit. She didn’t look decrepit, but perhaps the hot springs just rejuvenated her skin or something. Her bones could be powder in there, and her muscles just stringy soup.
Claire loosed her first arrow.
Bikini-Lady leapt to the side, anticipating the shot. It would’ve ran true, spearing itself directly through our foe’s chest. Without her there to catch it, the arrow continued its path, directly toward the singular Dallytongue.
Oh crap.
I couldn’t react fast enough to do anything. From this range, there was nothing to be done.
A hiss filled the cavern and Bikini-Lady shimmered. An instant later, she returned to where she’d stood.
She caught the arrow, inches from the flower.
The glare she directed at Claire could’ve moved mountains. The inviting smile vanished, and her forget-me-not eyes turned black. A barbed tail sprouted from her scaled body, thumping against the dais and cracking the stone. There was nothing humanoid about her.
“Mmmm. Bad move.”