Todd & Podd’s Challenge: Winner receives an AT-2000 Cocoon Pod!

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Ts & Cs apply.

I knew my inability to withstand shopping trips would serve me well someday. If I hadn’t snuck back here to rest, I would’ve fished around the main store for a while longer, assembled the troops, then left.

It seemed strange to hide such an appealing event all the way back in No Man's Land, though the store’s square layout didn’t give them much choice. A corridor stretched beyond those curtains, presumably leading to the challenge room.

“Oh shit, lookit you! Annette, Duri, come see what Ollie found!”

I turned to Joey. He had a black wicker basket slung over one shoulder, and inside were a few Pod-related trinkets and peripherals. He was laughing at my relaxation oasis.

Duri and Annette homed in from around the store. Annette was first to catch on to the contest.

“Oh damn, an AT-2000?! That’s like, ten thousand krad. Minimum.”

She peeked behind the curtain, and I pounced forward like a frog chasing flies. If there was something to be seen, I wanted to see it. I took a moment to adjust to the darkness. There was a room at the far end of the corridor, illuminated by a revolving white light. At the center of its halo sat the AT-2000.

“Shiiiiet. I was just talking crap about the open-air Pods, but I’d take that in a heartbeat.”

“I’d redesign my whole room for that.”

I parted the curtains and stepped through. I moved slowly, cautious as though my single attempt at the challenge had already begun. My arms swept in front of me like minesweepers. The white light beckoned.

Annette was close behind. I could sense her urge to rush past, but she stayed, graciously allowing me to be the bait in case something happened.

There was a second curtain at the end of the corridor, nearly obscuring the next room. I reached out to move it to the side when a gigantic, meaty hand brushed it away and the hand’s monstrous owner stepped through. Its chest collided with my nose, and I yelped, fumbling back into Annette. My cartwheeling arms hit something, and she squawked right in my ear.

“Ollie! Are we running? Run?!”

I was too stunned to decide. The giant reached out and my short life flashed before me. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about the Elthen Fields when this hand slapped me into the next life.

It rested on my shoulder.

“Time’s up today, kids. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Oh.

His baritone voice vibrated through the corridor, but it didn’t threaten to eat me like I’d expected. I suppose bridge trolls have knock off times too. Beer o’clock is universal.

“Are you sure we can’t have our one go? The mop-bots only just came out. We could be in and out before you know it!”

The man craned his neck to look down at me. It wasn’t even meant to be intimidating, but the way his head sat crooked while one eye pierced into me gave me mad heebie-jeebies.

“No.”

“Not even one of us?”

He let out a sharp breath through his nose, and I half expected tornados to form. The poor guy was probably on overtime by now, but I was in intel-gathering mode. That meant a little teen obstinance was in order.

“If it means so much to you, one of you may have one go. One, got it?”

“Got it, sir. Thank you very much.”

I slipped past, then called back to the cowards who’d left Annette and I to perish.

“Joey! Duri! One of you get in here and try this!”

Annette poked her head out and ushered them in. The giant employee followed behind and walked over to a set of switches in the corner. A blue pad lit up and he laid his palm across it, barely paying attention to us. He began a speech like a drill sergeant addressing new recruits.

“Welcome, contestants, to Todd & Podd’s B&B Beatdown! Steel your nerves and sharpen your blades, for you shall be competing against the fierce, battle-hardened veterans of this beautiful and violent town of Selic! Immerse yourself in the most high-tech open-air system to ever be developed, and make your enemies fear the name — who’s going first?”

“Joey.”

“Make your enemies fear the name Joey!”

Feeling invited, Joey stepped toward the AT-2000, poking around as he worked out how to enter the thing.

“Wait a moment! Let me finish! By entering this contest, you acknowledge the risks of using such equipment and agree to abide by requirements that any and all liability in the event of harm or misfortune will be settled by the participating party, and none of any such loss or damages will be compensated by any members or affiliates of Todd & Podd or Major Pods. Please state your full name to indicate that you understand these terms.”

The employee heaved, blue in the face by the end of his legal tirade. Why they didn’t just have us sign a waiver, I did not know.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“Joey Abermeyer.”

“Thank you, Joey Abermeyer. Is this your first time using a Pod?”

“It is.”

“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll just need you to lie down in the Pod — yep, that’s the way — and stick those two nodes on your temples — sorry, the other two, those aren’t meant to be there — and you’ll feel a slight pop when I press this button. We’re here with you, just take down as many bad guys as you can and then I’ll bring you straight back out quick as a pinch, capeesh?”

“Capeesh.”

Joey settled into the Pod like a baby in its cradle. The sides were raised so that we almost couldn’t see his head. He shuffled around until he was comfortable, then gave a thumbs up to the employee.

I was getting nervous on his behalf, like a father watching their kid on the monkey bars. I was eager, yes, but glad Joey was going first. His fact-finding mission would give us all a greater chance of knowing what the hell went on in there. There were strict limitations on the Blade & Battle content that could be taught in schools, and parents telling their children all the tricks and tips was not encouraged. Discouraged, even.

“I’m ready, boss.”

The employee nodded, and his finger descended on a big green button like he’d punched in the nuclear launch codes. Either Joey was about to be immersed, or a small nation somewhere in the Pacific was in for the night of their lives.

“Luck be with you, soldier!”

I expected a noise, or a flash of white light, but instead there was nothing. I only knew Joey was immersed because his body went limp, and he was quiet for once.

“Is there a way for us to see what he’s seeing?” asked Annette. She paced the room, cracking her fingers and looking for a TV or some sort of streaming device.

“I’m afraid not. We wouldn’t want to give you any advantage now, would we?”

The employee had undergone a significant change from a few minutes ago when I thought he might end me on the spot. His voice was higher, his spirit more jovial, and all our questions were answered with a smile. Working retail is one hell of a drug.

Two minutes passed, and I was getting a little bored. Watching your friend lie fully unconscious in a silent room doesn’t give the same thrill I thought it would. I considered getting closer and checking out the tech when Joey bolted upright, smacking his arm against the inside of the Pod as he completed whatever motion he’d been making in the game world.

The employee shouted out.

“Joey Abermeyer! Fearless fighter and ruthless destroyer of...eight minions! Congratulations Joey, how did it feel?”

“...Holy heck...That was frickin mental. That’s what B&B is like? All the time?”

The employee laughed.

“I cannot confirm nor deny, I’m afraid. Just know that Todd & Podd’s challenge is heavily...inspired.”

Joey swung his legs from the Pod and thumped his thighs with the backs of his hands. His face was white like clean sheets, but he pulled it together after a moment.

“And that’s all for tonight, folks! As for the rest of you, come back tomorrow to have your shot.”

He switched off the machine and simultaneously switched his demeanor. We were herded out of the room and shown the door before you could say ‘Buy one, get one free.’

Outside, the evening air had brought the temperature down immensely, though the relentless humidity still danced, unseen as it waltzed its way into every breath and stuck to every pore. I was already sweaty from watching Joey’s adventure.

“Duri’s?” I pitched to the group.

“Duri’s,” Joey and Annette chorused.

Agreement from the hosting party was not required. I pulled out my Yurt and selected one of the few applications from the home screen. ‘Communication’.

[Headed to Duri’s. Hope you’re good?]

I shot off the message to Mom and pocketed the device. I didn’t expect a response, at least not a prompt one. She would read the message and be glad I was safe, but she knew better than to tell her teenage son to be good and not do something. The chances it would be done were just too high once tempted.

Duri’s wasn’t far, perhaps a twenty-minute walk at most.

“So, what was it like? Eight minions seems a bit piss-weak,” Annette jibed.

“Freaky. Like a dream where instead of your punches doing nothing, they’re supercharged and crunch enemies into oblivion. And for your information, I’m quite proud of my score. It would’ve been higher if the cheeky bugger didn’t get me from behind.”

Duri laughed. “Stabbed in the back on your first go! Didn’t feel it? I'm surprised your dad wasn’t there to slap some extra armor on you.”

Joey mimicked a stomach punch on Duri and several other attacks. A grey car passed with its headlights off, music blaring.

“Nah, there was no pain. I reckon I would’ve done better if I could feel the blasted things trying to stick me. Kinda assumed it’d all come from the front, so don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“We’ll try not to. Anything else we should know before tomorrow?”

Joey began to answer when the grey car came back and screeched to a halt beside us. The rear window slowly wound down and the music increased in volume. I covered one ear as a seedy looking man hung out from the back seat.

“Ay! Pretty girl! Fat boy! Other two! Y’all know where Vlad lives?”

Annette scowled and Joey bristled. I grabbed his arm before he could step forward and do something stupid.

“No, we don’t know a Vlad. Sorry. Have a good one,” I tried.

The window stayed down, and the man continued.

“You don’t know Vlad? Fwark, ya musta lived under a rock then.” He looked at Annette. “Ay little lassie, wanna come with us? You can sit on my lap and help us find Vlad, yeah?”

“Fuck off, dweeb.”

“Woo! Bit feisty, eh?”

Joey was ready to rip out of my grip, but it was Annette who I should’ve been restraining. She leaned down, picked up rocks from the gutter and hurled them at the car.

“Piss off, creep!”

Thonk. Clang! Two stones met their mark. The tires squealed and smoked as the car peeled away. The man shuttered himself in and wound up the window, faster this time. I’m sure he was shouting obscenities, but they were drowned out by the music and the tires burning rubber. We watched the car disappear around the corner in the vague direction of my house.

“What the shit was that? Duri, you know those guys?” I asked.

“Never seen them in my life. No idea what they’re doing round here, I thought my neighborhood was decent, at least for Selic.”

“And Annette? Any reason for the violent streak, aside from the obvious? You’re lucky there’s no Peacers around.”

Annette raised an eyebrow at me and flung her hands apart.

“That’s just me, man. Selic’s male types aren’t all as progressive as you lot. Gotta be tough sometimes to get the message through.”

“Yikes,” I said. “Fair enough, just remind me not to get on your bad side.”

With a newfound fear of Annette and her cannon right arm, we resumed our journey to Duri’s. I was starting to regret not going home instead — the draining afternoon left me yearning for my own bed.

“Oh, guys. Ma made this unbelievable ice cream as an experiment for Garters. There’s still a giant tub in the freezer.”

Okay, so maybe Duri’s wasn’t such a bad pitch.

If I’d known that this night at Duri’s would be the last peaceful one for a while, I would’ve savored that ice cream a bit more.

'Unbelievable’ was an understatement.