"Rouly~may I sit next to you？"

She turned her head and saw that it was Zheng Wenhuan, "Oh, yes. "Staring at the half box of bento in the hands of the person in front of her, Yu Ruoling suddenly asked again, "What's wrong？"

Zheng Wenhuan was stunned for a while, as if she didn't expect that Yu misunderstood that she had something to ask for help.

From the first time she saw Rouly, she always felt that Rouly was a friend who was easy to get along with, kind and communicative with. Although the facts are indeed as she expected, there is always an illusion that deep in her heart, no one can really be Rouly's friend.

Zheng Wenhuan was a little frustrated by this feeling. She remembered a short mission the year before - the year before last year - and accidentally found out that Rouly's father was also passed away. This kind of sympathy and feels like same kind for each other has always made her feel close to Yu - even if it is only one-sided - but unfortunately Yu never seems to notice.

Zheng Wenhuan actually likes spending time with Yu very much, even though she is three years older than her, but sometimes, a few simple words from her can always tear open the blind spots. That kind of sharp energy, the sudden realization... Yu Ruoling can always find out the biggest pros and cons in the shortest time.

Yu always helps her.

"No, I just want to come and have lunch with you, thank you by the way."

"Thank me？Why？"

"At the party the morning before yesterday, you raised my hand high during the worship, "Zheng said with a smile, "I was not used to it when I worshiped...um...the feeling of raising my hand, I was worried I will be looked at by others. But you helped me, and I have been free to worship since that time."

It seems that there is such a thing, Yu Ruoling's left index finger and thumb rubbed each other unconsciously, thinking. During that worship, she happened to be standing next to Zheng Wenhuan, and because she was not far away, she could clearly feel the bewilderment of this person around her.

Just as she was still thinking about what caused Zheng's mental state, there was a sudden heat in her head. Hence, she nexplicably raised this girl's hand.

Then...Zheng Wenhuan became excited at an incredible speed.

In fact, she understood in an instant that this was the work of the Holy Spirit, and she didn't care about her "sudden gaffe" afterwards, but unexpectedly, Zheng remembered it.

"God told me to do it."Yu Rarely smiled sincerely.

"But thank you anyway！If you reject Him, I won't be able to overcome this 'obstacle', hahaha~"

For a while, Yu Ruoling didn't quite know how to answer her words, so she had to throw a meaningless smile, turned around and continued to eat the fried chicken bento with difficulty.

She could see that Zheng Wenhuan wanted to "step by step" into her circle of friends, but she was no longer willing to promise anyone casually.

The so-called companions, in her wishful thinking, are to be able to share life and death together, to be able to help one of them when he or she falls, and to be able to be a strong backing for each other. It is a lifetime, a vow, and a faithfulne... Oh, wait a minute, she said that it felt like they were going to walk into the wedding hall hand in hand.

Anyway, Yu Ruoling dosen't wish to have no a few close friends, but at present, there are none who can really let her confide in her heart.

Thinking of the pre-trip training for the summer mission next Thursday, she suddenly became upset, simply because a large part of the co-workers - co-workers who had met before but were not familiar with, were about to be in the same room with her at the space of Zhenguo Primary School Kindergarten, which is several times smaller than this space now, and she feels uncomfortable just thinking about it.

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That full, all human smell - at least there's an oversized air conditioner - can she really continue to stay in human society as a normal person？Yu Ruoling thought a little coldly, thinking about going further afield, would she still be able to survive when she truly into society？

Even if she wanted to live, would the cruelty of reality allow her to be so capricious？

No, reality never gives special favor to anyone, it is fair to everyone and everything. Even if one is born with a golden spoon in his or her mouth, but look like a dude, this guy's career will eventually lose or decline under his or her own name.

...At the beginning she chose to be patient, then she has the obligation to accept all the consequences.

"Rouly？"

Yu Ruoling came back to her senses, Zheng Wenhuan and Yuan Junfan, who was sitting across from her at some point, saw all the complex expressions that were too late to put away.

"What？”

"Ling, are you tired？"Yuan Junfan propped his hands on the table with his backpack in his arms, "You just stared at the bento in a daze."

"...Oh, I can't eat any more."Then she glanced at the bento with a little guilt, and there was still about half of it.

"If you can't finish it, give it to me！"Yuan Junfan suddenly stretched out his hand, and pointed at the lid, "They finished sharing, but I haven't eaten yet."

You are deceiving children, it would be more like if the plastic packaging of the disposable chopsticks in the small outer compartment of the backpack is not exposed. With such a silent comment in her heart, Yu Ruoling still obediently handed out the remaining half of the bento.

*

Mild panic disorder, mild manic depression, seasonal depression, moderate anxiety disorder, identity dissociative disorder, severe post-traumatic stress disorder.

Looking at the results of the newly received report by G-mail in the mobile phone, the girl with black hair-waist-length sighed softly, quite unsurprisingly.

A month ago, she found a note on the table in the room that said "Emotional Test", which looked a bit supernatural, but with that familiarity, she still knew immediately who it was, what it meant, and why.

Fong Xuan told her that the fog in the small world was affecting her brain, bit by bit eroding certain substances that "she" could not name. It seems that the pure void and chaos devour the energy it absorbs to maintain its existence, and the loss of those energies （that is, "substances"）happens to break the relationship between the balanced reactions of various emotions in the brain, resulting in an unstable state.

Good become worse, and worse getting worse.

In an exchange several months ago, Fong Xuan revealed all the information to her by handwriting, so that when the "emotional test" note appeared on the table, she almost immediately understood what Fong was trying to convey. Presumably the fog balls erosion situation is even worse.

What's even more frightening is that Fong Xuan still can't find out where these things come from. So "she" and she both need a reference to compare, and try to find other ways to control them.

Fong Xuan, like Yu Ruoling, left medical care in the most inconspicuous corner.

When she logged into the website of Taiwan Professional in this area, she struggled for at least half an hour to fill out the form. Part of it was the embarrassment of facing the self-revealing again, and part of it was the discomfort of forcing herself to recall certain painful moments.

Yu Ruoling knew that the more honest the information, the more beneficial it would be for her, so the authenticity of the report results was definitely more than 95%. As for the remaining 5%, there are some emotional adjectives in the list that she happened to borrow between "yes" and "no", "has" and "hasn't". Although she chose the closest one, there was always a slight deviation.

...She didn't expect that there are really quite a lot of problems...

Since she had a premonition and reminded herself many times, she accepted the fact peacefully.

Suddenly recalling the deteriorating relationship between Yu Hong Axiu and Yu Xiaoyu, a mother and daughter, in the past six months, she really felt that she might lose her head of black hair and become more manic.

Who knows？After her father passed away, they were fine at first, but gradually they began to speak ill of each other. Although most of it was Yu Xiaoyu yelling at Yu Hong Axiu unilaterally - still very nonsensical and childish and boring sesame-seeds-like-things - but being caught in the middle as the sandwich biscuit and peacemaker of the two elders...

Forget it, it's easier and less troublesome to throw the plastic bottle on the ground and tell everyone to shut up.

Well, it's can't be. Even if this deteriorating relationship started to spread to her, sometimes her childish aunt even brought herself anger to her, and the words that came out were simply ugly. But she didn't care about it, even though she - Yu Ruoling had the same surname as this one, the world behind each other was not at the same level at all. Although she doubts that her daily attention to other people's emotions, and then constantly smoothing them down is influenced by the existence of her aunt in the family who has to make her do this, well, to be honest, she has been patient since she was in kindergarten.

It's been so long.

It is not any worse to endure for a few more years. She thought.

But her feelings for Yu Xiaoyu have gradually faded away.

It goes too far.

Yu Ruoling carried a black and white suitcase into the open rear compartment, lowered her head and entered the back seat of the Gospel car of Erling Gospel Church driven by Lin Xinyong, the consultant of Youth Fellowship.