*
The above paragraph is the process of Li Chengguang being confused by Yu Ruoling's sudden change of attitude and thinking that she was fine. After a few weeks of deliberately controlling herself emotions, Yu discovered subtle changes in her psychology.
Suddenly, she understood the role of Black Widow Natasha Romanoff, the veteran Avenger in the Marvel Universe. Although it seems quite sad to say, "it makes people feel impersonal" and "it's impossible to tell what she is thinking, so scary" seems to be one of the highest praises for an agent - or spy.
Just like her current situation, when she was accosted by another female classmate at the sports game of school, she was writing her original novel when she was suddenly asked a question.
"Hey, Ruoling, let me ask you. "The female classmate said, "Are you..., is there someone in your family who is a soldier or something？"
Yu stopped what she was doing and turned to look at her. The female classmate covered mouth and whispered close to Yu. The close distance, where her head was almost touching Yu's head, made Yu a little nauseous and disgusted as usual.
But she endured it and didn't move the chair any further.
She thought that sometimes not forcing herself would only make the situation worse. At least now she had to realize that doing so would not actually cause her to be stabbed with a knife（during the conversation with Jin Shu last week, Yu Ruoling suddenly realize this）.
Except for Jesus' help and Jin Shu's help, if she didn't help herself, everything would be of no help in the end.
"Basically all of my paternal relatives have joined the army."She said lightly.
"That's awesome！What about you？Do you plan to join the army？"
"No, this isn't suitable for me."
"Why？"
Miss, why do you have so many questions？The black-haired girl stared at her phone, feeling a little impatient. This female classmate, who had no idea that the safe distance was so short that it was about to become an intrusion, was chasing her closely with a pair of eyes that were as bright as LED lights. Obviously, 16 is an age that should be more mature and stable, but it didn't seem to have the slightest effect on this female classmate.
Yu frowned heroically, but fortunately she still lowered her head to watch her phone, so the people next to her couldn't see it.
"Hey, let me tell you, I saw a handsome guy on IG yesterday. "The female classmate started to act like a nymphomaniac for no reason. She held her cheek with one hand and kept patting Yu Ruoling's right shoulder with her other hand, "Oh~ He is so handsome~ I really want him to be my boyfriend~ Hey, Ruoling, do you know？I sent him a message telling him that he is so handsome, and he replied to me 'thanks'. Ouch~ It makes me so nervous~ Do you think I have to confess to him that I like him？Ah, I'll show it to you directly！If you haven't seen it, you don't know how handsome he is. Hey, after I show it to you, you can't compete with me for my husband！"
What is your problem？？The black-haired girl's brows were so furrowed that they could almost kill a fly. It took a lot of effort to resist the urge to slap the face of the childish brat who had no sense of shame.
She said "I'm going to the toilet" and quickly left the rest shed of Class 9th, walked to the quiet stairs behind the command podium and sat down to continue scrolling on her mobile phone.
Yu Ruoling has always been the most disgusted with this kind of situation where there are many people of the same age, like a sea of people, and no social distance at all. Although she didn't want to fall in love and didn't feel the need to fall in love, the various strange things and all kinds of disgusting overlapping words forced into her still made her feel an unknown fire burning from the depths of soul.
First, she needs to apologize for being a Christian and setting a bad example.
Fuck you whole family, you can’t speak well, can you？Drop dead, please don't, these couples come out and insult the public's beautiful eyes and ears, okay？
Fuck！
…Right, she's done scolding.
Yu Ruoling took a deep breath and felt that she was criticizing something else to replacing the true one she wants originally. Even though it seemed more like venting her anger on other people, the female classmate whose name she still didn't know had indeed violated her bottom line.
She hated it most when people thought she had a so-called "love" object, even if they reminded her not to fall in love with anyone. This was a great shame for her.
Listening to the noisy sounds from the command podium and the playground opposite, the noise of the booming microphone, and the unbearable high-frequency sound waves emitted by the poor connection between the speakers and the mic cable, Yu decided to go back to the classroom and drink her drink, which was the kind with a little sugar and less ice.
During the three years at Hanchung High School, she did not plan to participate in any sports events, and the reason was already obvious. However, since she was a student in Hanchung High School, her student obligations would not completely allow her to stay out of it, so she decided to do the most rebellious thing in her academic career.
Take leave, run away.
As for where she was going, she would not leave the area where her home was located. The black-haired girl was wearing a burgundy class uniform, and she quickly packed her schoolbag and lunch bag with brisk and erratic movements.
Since the three rows of fluorescent lights in the classroom are all turn-off, looking in from the outside window, there are only black and red ghostly figures floating around, and people drinking drink happily because she can leave this ghost place. Coupled with the cold wind blowing into the classroom from time to time -
- The whole thing is so thrilling to watch, there are no other adjectives other than weird, especially the soft humming of the song that comes from inside.
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Creepy again.
Maybe turning this into a park would make it feel better. Yu Ruoling carried the belongings very efficiently, turned around and ran towards the stairs. While calling the class teacher to inform her that the registration was completed, Yu was thinking about where to go to relax later so that she could spend a wonderful Friday afternoon. At the same time, besides her, there were other students in the classroom who did not want to stay in school and waste time.
Most of them are in the third grade. After all, the university entrance examination in January next year is imminent, and some students with strong self-motivation have taken leave to study at home.
After filling out the leave card and temporary outing form - the instructor's signature part, she turned on the loudspeaker to listen to the instructor - Yu Ruoling left the school briskly in a good mood.
As she walked up the steps to the park opposite, she subconsciously looked back.
The winter sun shone warmly on the characters "Hanchung High School", and the silver metallic luster contrasted with the golden fire.
Because she was holding the light behind her, it should have been a bright and dazzling scene, but instead it turned out to be as dark and unpredictable as the corridor at the end of the road. The fluorescent lamp on the ceiling was slightly bright, like a maze of secret rooms that aroused people's curiosity.
Some people are naturally adventurous and willing to go in and have a try, but Yu Ruoling was not willing to do so. Because she is just a comfort person who wants to save her life and would rather live an ignoble existence than take a bold step.
Unless Jesus is standing there.
If there was Jesus standing, she would risk her life - even if she lost her life - to run to him with a very shameless roar. She raised her hand to block the sun and found that she seemed to be much tanner than before. It was probably the concept of evolving from H to HB.
Black schoolbag was already a little hot. After touching the top of her head, she decided to temporarily hide in Louisa Cafe, maybe reading, maybe playing on her phone, or maybe continuing to work on the fictional historical novel of ancient costume martial arts updated to Chapter 12. She looked at the various meals on the menu and chose an Italian bacon and cheese brick, some snacks, and a glass of iced Thames milk tea.
When checking out, the clerk looked at her with a rather conflicted expression. She smiled secretly, guessing it was because the items delivered might fill nearly a table. The clerk was happy that she paid the bill, but he also felt that she ate as much as a pig who did nothing but eat and sleep all day long.
Thinking about this, she suddenly felt that this Cafe was so cute.
After going up to the second floor, Yu Ruoling chose a seat on the edge of the window. She didn't want to be squeezed in the middle at this beautiful time. Even though there were not many peers at this time, she still wanted to get away from the crowd and take a good look at the people in the world whom Father God loved - including herself, of course - sometimes she saw the subtle expressions and body movements of some people, she will know if she needs to pray for them.
She had another conversation with Jin Shu last Tuesday, during which he quickly integrated all the information, and could even be said to be the person who knew the most secrets about Yu Ruoling - if Jesus was not included.
Jin Shu said more than once that this was the most special case among all his cases. He asked Yu Ruoling to try to change roles between two positions to understand why that person was so angry in the first place. The conclusion drawn from this psychological analysis was something Yu Ruoling had never thought of.
Although she struggled to relive and simulate the conversation between the two people, the result was a deep stab in her heart. In fact, she actually felt that what she did back then was really sorry for that person - Li Qingfeng.
When Jin Shu asked her the name of "that person" for the first time, Yu Ruoling was silent for a few minutes. At the end of the silence, she began to be in a daze unconsciously, until Jin Shu called her, the kind of words that reached her lips but could not be spoken.
This feeling, she finally understood. Finally, she said it. If she don’t say it, it won’t be solved. If she don’t say it, it’s not what Jesus wants to see. Therefore, even after hesitating and stammering for a few seconds, she eventually managed to say both Qing and feng.
Maybe in the end, she was really forced by herself to choose this destructive path. Li Qingfeng has always been proud, self-respecting, and absolutely authoritative like a queen, but children are just children, even if they are the most innocent, they are also the most terrifying.
If thinking about it this way, she seemed to have said the words "I brought it all on myself" at the beginning. Now that she commits about it, this was indeed right.
The only thing that made her misjudged was the power of school bullying. She thought she could handle it. She thought she could treat it all as a nonsensical joke among children. But Yu Ruoling forgot that she was only eight or nine years old at the time, and she was actually just a child.
Jin Shu said something that impressed her deeply.
'Have you simply forgotten what it was like to be a child？'His sharp eyes stared into hers, and for a moment she imagined that the singer could be so fierce.
He continued, 'To be honest, you are just a child now. Have you always faced this society with an adult mathod？'
She thought for a while and nodded.
Yu Ruoling also said to be honest, she didn't know how to behave like "a child". The so-called coquettishness is just acting, but there is no emotion at all in the heart. ...Only Jesus, that kind of open-hearted feeling, is very novel and fresh to Yu Ruoling.
It's also weird.
Jin Shu sighed and motioned for Yu Ruoling to sit next to him. In a very, very peaceful atmosphere, he reached out and touched her soft top of the head without any thought. In an instant, this tenderness overflowed like a tsunami and rushed ashore, completely knocking her to the ground.
She didn't cry, she just remembered many scenes when her father's warm, dry and generous hands gently stroked her hair. She understood why she had always been surrounded by a group of men for a long time. It was not for any reason, but because she unconsciously projected the emotion of seeking father's love onto them.
No man with love in his heart would reject a girl who looks like his own daughter. Although the age difference is only eight years, the way these people get along with her happens to be the ordinary and happy "father-daughter model."
Whether it is Feng Zhiting, Lin Xinyong, Lin Tianmo, Lin Tianzhao... or those who have transformed from fatherly love to brotherly love, such as Shao Xu'an, Yuan Junfan, and even Lin Yinxiang. And in the end, she has only three years to get along with, her little brother - Yu Ruohao's control group is Long Junxi and Long Junyuan.
As for people of the same sex, unless they treat her sincerely, otherwise she will say goodbye and see no more. This is the reason why she rejected Zheng Wenhuan and Huang Yinke at first. At the same time, she is more likely to misunderstand people of the same sex.
For example, when the worship band was transferred, she secretly directed all her anger at He Wanying. She was able to have a group of same-sex friends, largely because of He Xiyun and Liu Muxi, who once again ignited her easily shaken distrust.
When mistrust is burned out, that's trust. The holy fire can cleanse everything. Even the waste that has been stepped on and rolled over again, covered with smelly sewage and mud, and almost no one wants it, can be turned into recyclable and reusable environmentally friendly materials. Not only did it save her, she could also try to hold back more poor people who were falling into the abyss.
They are all poor people, and only by understanding and forgiving each other can the word "love" be pure.
Although the damage has been done, now that she understands it, she will work hard to overcome it, so that one day she will have the strength to bless Li Qingfeng -
- Jesus loved her too.
Loving one's neighbor as oneself, loving one's neighbor as well as one's enemy is one of the most important lessons Yu Ruoling has learned so far. Only total love can transcend all things, break through all limitations, and create incredible possibilities.
…
The black-haired girl ate the last bite of brick-pressed toast, and her whole body was filled with an aura of "love explosion". The sweet air caused Liu Muxi, who also took leave from school to come to the coffee shop because of the sports game, to sneeze unbelievably and loudly in the interest of scaring her best friend.