...

In the culinary and technology teacher's office, she didn't have to do anything in this class. There was no class to attend, no homework to correct, and no grades to enter into the school's educational administration system that often crashed.

But God forbids her to be a salary thief who can take a break secretly - not even giving her 45 minutes - her mind and heart can't help but sigh into a ball of paste about the impermanence of life and death in the world.

There are many things that cannot be explained, but all can be explained clearly. Not this extreme, or the other extreme.

Sitting in the office chair, Fang Yunyi inadvertently saw the fantasy fairy tale ancient costume novel that she and her colleagues borrowed to read a while ago.

In the content, the author Fresh wrote a line for the hero in her pen, ...Fang has forgotten exactly what it is, and always said it was probably called "the six sufferings in the world".

One suffering is love, one suffering is hatred, one suffering is resentment, one suffering is regret, one suffering is separation, and one suffering is seeking.

Today, in her teaching career, she finally met separation again. It is even her most trusted and promising student.

...

Just after the lunch break, the tutor of class 10 walked into the classroom quickly. And Zu Yuxin, who happened to be having fun throwing away the toilet paper bag, caught her part, and turned around with a guilty and helpless smirk.

Surprisingly, Fang Yunyi walked up to Yu Ruoling as if she hadn't seen it, and shook Yu awake. Then Zu Yuxin looked at Yu sudden with a serious face, quickly packed her schoolbag and everything and left in a hurry.

The tutor also left... Zu Yuxin froze at that strange movement, somehow feeling a little bit weird 'cause she was not scolded .

"Ruoling, your mother said she would call you. "Fang Yunyi signaled her to turn on her mobile phone, and then took out a temporary out sheet from a cabinet in the Academic Affairs Office, "A taxi is already waiting at the school gate. Someone will pay for your ride when you get to the hospital."

"Okay."She nodded slightly, and then answered the call from her mother.

"Ling, let me tell you. "Li Qiao's slow and nasal voice sounded from her ear, "The hospital said that if dad undergoes an operation, there is a high chance that he will become a vegetable, so we decided with grandma and aunts that dad will not be operated on. Then the doctor will give him an injection of morphine to relieve his discomfort, and we will let dad go back to Heavenly Father’s home in a beautiful shape, shall we…？”

"...Ok, I know, wait for me for about half an hour, and I'm going to get into a taxi."

Everything came out of nowhere. Yu Ruoling sat on the passenger seat and looked out of the window, unable to shed a single tear.

Maybe at this moment she reflexively brought her rationality back, or God... - maybe Fong Xuan - was behind her back to support her rationality. Apart from the pounding of her beating heart against her temples, she seemed unaware of any superfluous emotion.

Mother is crying, grandma is crying too, aunts should have arrived at the hospital long ago. In fact, her character is more from her older aunt. Presumably she and her older aunt are the only ones who can maintain absolute calmness and thinking in the current situation.

At 1:30 p.m., just in time for visiting the ICU, Yu Ruoling remembered for the scene after putting on the isolation gown that when she was six...or seven years old, she was still immature and asked her parents at that time, like "can I go in to see my brother". Unfortunately, according to regulations of ICU of all the hospitals, children under the age of twelve were not allowed to enter the intensive care unit.

Although the purpose was to ensure the safety of the children, the last meet she and her brother were missed, she was babysat at home and he had returned to the Lord's arms.

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Probably because of the drug - she didn't know much about it - the bag connected to the urethral catheter was almost half full of dark red hematuria, and maybe because of the brainstem hemorrhage that would have caused this symptom. Yu Ruoling stood beside the hospital bed, wearing a mask, quietly staring at the face that was always so calm, so steady, and so convincing.

This face once took off the mask that had to be camouflaged, and then carried her on his back and flew over the mountains one after another.

She couldn't help but want to touch his forehead. In the past when she had a fever in the middle of the night, he used to gently pat her head with his generous and warm palm so that she could fall asleep peacefully.

Since he was responsible for the first half of her life, she should do her best for his ceremony of afterlife now.

*

The funeral came to a successful conclusion.

Because the church where Yu Xiaoyang attended was too far away, the venue was held at the place where Li Qiao and Yu Ruoling took root - Erling Gospel Center. And based on the help of all members, Yu have to go to join with them to represent her family's thankfulness. But the reunion of the youth group on Saturday night was unprecedentedly large.

That is to say, unfortunately, there were an unusually huge number of people today.

Seeing Yu Ruoling, who was crowded with nearly 50 people in the main hall at one time, she really wanted to take three steps back to check if the elevator was taking her to the cram school in the same building. But otherwise, Huang Yinke and Li Zhaoyi had already seen a icy face who was clearly dazed but pretended to be calm, and a stiff stick at the door, unable to retreat or enter.

There seemed to be a transparent but extremely strong glass barrier there, separating the members of the Youth Group who came to the Prophet Mark Special Session and her who was still stiff into two completely different worlds.

Even though she looked very much like the rebellious youngest son in the bible, even though Huang Yinke knew that she should have walked over to say hello to her, but after seeing the strong disappointment in Yu Ruoling's eyes, she and Li Zhaoyi lost all that interest.

Well, instead of talking about "interest", it's better to say that the originally happy mood was suddenly extinguished by a bucket of water. She and her companions may never understand why Yu Ruoling's eyes are full of disappointment whenever she looks at them. Sometimes there is more sadness, anger, or despair, and sometimes it is so simple and empty that she doesn't even seem to care about human life.

Whether it is someone else's or her own, Yu Ruoling never seems to regard life as a very important thing.

There has never been.

They stopped chatting at the same time, and followed her with complicated eyes.

She sat down, glanced at the group of people who were having fun in front of her, took out her earphones, and plunged into another illusory reality again.

“Honestly speaking, I really don't know how to talk to her, as if whatever I say is wrong."Li Zhaoyi said.

“Me too."Huang responded.

...

She doesn't want to come to this party anymore.

Fong Xuan is probably dealing with the weird fogball in the shared area recently, otherwise, during the previous two gatherings, "she" would have told her to be mentally prepared.

Frustratingly, she found that there was no way she could control the waves of discomfort that came and went. What she wanted, hoped for, envied... In the end, it turned out that the greater the expectation, the greater the loss.

She likes them, and she actually likes this place too, but those people stood there, standing in that bright field, and beckoned her to walk over. The abyss was behind her, and countless tentacles came out from the darkness and circled tightly, held her limbs and neck. It's not that she didn't try to ask for help, but they ran farther and farther before her eyes, and she couldn't get rid of the shackles.

She shouted and shouted with all her strength, but the simple words "save me" seemed to be swallowed by the abyss, and it was completely swallowed up before it was spread out off her mouth.

It was as if she was the only one left in the whole world, and she never expected that they could come back to help her and pull herself away from the frightening and trembling dark place of death. She just hoped that they could wait for her, even if it was only for a second, she would do her best to break free from the cage.

But no, they've just kept walk away, far, far away from her.

She had searched for so long, but a voice told her "No, you are not worthy", even Fong Xuan couldn't understand where those voices came from, but they all heard it.

Yu Ruoling almost stared blankly at the microphone held by Prophet Mark on the podium in front of her. A series of peaceful and magnetic voices sounded indistinct in her ears as if they were wrapped in bubbles.

Although she could tell it was Chinese and was surprised that a foreigner could speak Chinese so fluently, she couldn't understand the meaning of these sentences. It's as if someone knows a few English words, but they don't understand the meaning of expression when these words are put together.

…And by the time she realized it, she was already standing in front of the pulpit like everyone else, waiting to receive the word of God.

Yu Ruoling packed up her mind and took a sneak peek at the status of the other people around her. It isn't until she catches sight of the "entering the situation" on the faces of the group of people, she realizing that she was following up with them inexplicably, completely involuntarily and out of self-control.

"..."Blind obedience...definitely blind obedience, she thought with a blank expression.