…
Why on earth is she in the kitchen..., why is there food on the gas stove... what on earth are they doing and why do they seem to be having a better time than she is.
Damn it. She lived a life worse than death every day in Hanchung High School, and those bad and almost frightening memories constantly stimulated her brain nerves. She had endured this kind of life alone for two months, and when her spirit was almost exhausted, Fong was not even take her place.
Is there any love left, Fong Xuan, this guy, come on.
After returning home from that environment, in a relaxed state, Yu Ruoling restarted the so-called "normal" operation. It means that it is not so gloomy and scary, and the eyes are no longer filled with murderous intent, just like...
Same as a "normal high school student" at this point in time.
Fong Xuan walked in slowly from the kitchen door, wearing insulated gloves to prevent burns on “her” hands, an apron, and “her” hair tied up. “She” had the exact same face as her but a temperament that was far different from Yu Ruoling.
The man who walked out behind "her" was the man with warm hair and surrounded by purple and gold light. His expression still made her feel warmer. Just standing there, doing nothing, indescribable stability radiated out.
She feels nothing but peace of mind.
'Ling, we have prepared a lot of delicious food~ 'Only when facing her, Fong Xuan's performance became lively, "This is the first time we have a big gathering, let's have a party.'
'But, 'Yu Ruoling could only see clearly at this moment that "she" was still holding a medium-sized baking pan for baking biscuits, 'what about the body... out there?'
'Body sleep, don't worry. 'Fong Xuan placed the baking pan on the counter, and Yu was almost stunned by “her” gentle smile.
Can't imagine herself using this expression, the feeling is so weird...
'We specially adjusted the time difference. Even if we play for three days and three nights here, there's only have half an hour outside.'
This..., Yu Ruoling twitched her eyes and thought to herself, this definitely was intentional.
"My child, I've been waiting for you for a long time."
The man spoke and put His arm around her shoulders. The warmth in His arms spread to her little by little through contact. Yu Ruoling was a little embarrassed, but more timid.
She didn't know which nerve was wrong, but she actually felt that she had no face to see Him. Well, it is. There is a sense of deja vu as if a child has been caught doing something wrong.
She feels ashamed and embarrassed when she thinks that everything about her is invisible and clear in front of this person/God, and that He even understands her moods, brain reactions, etc. better than her.
It's a embarrassment of being seen through.
After all, she has always been a person who hides her weaknesses very well and does not let others know about her many weaknesses - Long Brothers are exception. PTSD and panic are not something she can control. She also wants to control it, but she just can't - the result is in front of Him, these disguises were just like a thin layer of spider web, stirred, harmonized, and rolled up...
She fell to the ground, looking confused at the defenseless mess. Then a pair of dry and warm hands held her up, and His bright and clear eyes made her feel helpless.
She is a filthy sinner.
"Don't be afraid, don't worry. "He rubbed Yu Ruoling's head and pushed her towards the dining table that had been prepared fifteen minutes ago, "In front of me, you never need to hide -"
"- Because I am your Lord."
Yu Ruoling stared at Him for a long time and finally surrendered. Although she became normal again after leaving school, and the feeling of isolation from reality was much lighter, it did not make her relax like it did now.
Being around him, she can talk unscrupulously, let go of her foodie nature, complain and even cry without any image, act like a baby so sweet that even herself can't stand it...
He can accept all of it. Only He could catch her who falling into the abyss again.
'What are we going to talk about today?’She puffed up her cheeks and acted childishly, ‘How can it be as exaggerated as a banquet?'
'He knew it was time. "Fong Xuan came over and sat down next to her, "Today, let's decipher the answer to the mind world.'
Decrypt?She opened her eyes wide in surprise. She thought that the mind world was just a space created by her own schizophrenia, which was equivalent to a concrete psychological dimension. Didn't expect it wasn't what she thought.
Whether she is the prime-p or not?She even only has a partial understanding of this and misunderstanding. Really can’t figure it out.
Seeing her speechlessness, Fong Xuan raised “her” hand, and a light screen appeared in mid-air, 'This is the map of the mind world.'
Yu looked at it for a long time and frowned. Regardless of whether it is a transverse Mercator projection, a cylindrical projection, an equiangular projection, or an equal-area projection, this map does not look like a map... but looks like... a… a blob, a blob of data.
Just like Jarvis, Tony Stark’s artificial intelligence, in his golden appearance in Avengers 2:Age of Ultron. It's just that the mass in front of her is transparent and colorless, like water.
'What's this?'
"The mind world has always existed. "The man spoke softly, looking at her with soft eyes, "It has existed since the beginning. You call it a world. It is indeed similar, but in fact it is a dimension."
'Dimension...?Wait, then Fong Xuan shouldn't be here, she should be stored in my brain.”
"Yes, "He handed her a plate of roast mutton and a cup of Coke, and then handed the same ones to Fong Xuan, "That's how it was originally. You were the one who released Xuan.'
She release Fong Xuan??When had she done this?From the moment she became aware of Fong Xuan, "she" has been living in this strange space, let alone she released “her”?
'Ruoling, that's what he said. The so-called "birth" means "release". At first, I thought I was protecting you, so those memories were stored with me.'
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'What memories?'Yu Ruoling was stunned for a moment, and a not-so-good premonition quickly grew in her heart.
'The memories of those nine years were unconsciously cut out by you as you grew up and thrown into the depths of your mind. But in fact, subconsciously you hoped to have a friend or companion because your childhood was too lonely and desperate. Although you think you are used to it and don’t need it, you can deceive your own heart, but you cannot deceive your brain, which is familiar with the operation of hormones. So when you gradually develop the habit of mumbling to yourself, your brain is nurturing me, so that one day there will be a voice to respond to you, even if you feel it is not necessary. Your heart and brain perceptions are separate, which is why you feel disconnected from reality, because you unconsciously detach yourself from the way you "should" operate in reality, but hormones are honest and you can't change them. Chemical signals released are truths.'
Yu Ruoling was confused by these logics, but she still caught a few key points with extreme concentration. To put it simply, it means that the feelings of the mind and brain are out of sync, just like a beaker filled with many different dangerous chemicals at the same time. It may either explode or explode to the point where no residue is left.
It's just that the most serious situation for her is an explosion, which will not directly lead to death, but it may cause death indirectly.
'Am I something master of hypnosis myself...?'
"Ruoling, this is your characteristic. I created you to be able to block the connection between the mind and the brain to prevent you from committing suicide."
...He could see that she just wanted to harm hersel..., she blushed, thinking of the time when the broken porcelain piece touched her wrist and she urgently relaxed her strength. It was just because she was afraid of pain, and then his appearance flashed through her mind.
'Turned out to be self-harm, huh?'Fong Xuan looked at her and said, with an inexplicable expression on “her” face, and “she” suddenly revealed a dangerous aura.
Ahaha... Yu Ruoling took a sip of Coke with a guilty conscience, "Then why don't you just reshape my personality?'
"Because I need you, you should be a soldier of the Kingdom of God, but I know you won't be able to bear it if you don't do this. As a soldier, you still retain a very strong sense of perception. Your sensitivity is unique."
'So these things are exercises?In order to make me stronger on all levels, as long as I win this trial, I will enter a new realm where I am completely guaranteed to win against the evil one?'
"Yes, I watched these happen silently. Some of them I didn't allow, but they were really necessary, so I supported you from behind. In fact, I also acquiesced in your release of Fong Xuan because you really needed it."
The man smiled slightly, reached out and picked up the baked biscuits on the table and handed them to her, "I will help you forever. After the trial, you will have nothing to fear, and no temptation can deceive you."
She blankly took the plate of baked cookies and felt the sweet happiness filling her heart.
This kind of emotion can only be felt when she is with him. Even if she is not very used to it, it is not exclusive at all.
'Now that this matter is dealt with, let's move on to the next matter. 'Fong Xuan habitually nodded “her” arm and said, 'Let's talk about the "me" part, so that the connection with this dimension will be smoother.'
'Ah, right, you just said that nine years of memories were cut out by me unconsciously and thrown into my brain. What do you mean?'Yu asked.
'I said it was your brain that gave birth to me.'
The black-haired girl opened her eyes wide in shock, with nothing but disbelief in her eyes, 'I...I have lost my memory?!'
'This is not something you can control. The body's mechanisms force you to do this. Although it is unconscious and sounds like a psychological operation, the actual address is in the brain. It received the chemical signal that you rejected this memory. From the moment you met that person, your brain was gestating me.'
Fong continued, "The program that released me is because the brain detects my "maturity". If I "wake up", this memory will completely leave you, and I will become a nominal imaginary friend. But your will is too strong, so it had no choice but to release me into this dimension, which is the mind world, so that I can communicate with you and even replace you. But from a certain perspective, it is indeed "you" who releases "me".'
Yu Ruoling gritted her teeth. She really didn't want to give up the memories of these nine years. Even if it hurts, it is still a part of her, and she is not willing to hand it over so casually and cowardly. Such is her personality -
- She looked down on the dejected fighting spirit of being trampled down like a loser and lying in the valley, but didn't want to give it a try.
Yu Ruoling didn't want this, but unexpectedly released Fong Xuan.
'So you are me, we are the same person...'
For some reason, Yu felt a little emotional. Thinking about it, something so unspeakable could happen to her...
lol
'That is to say, if you were not released from my brain at that time, I would have selective amnesia, and then suffer from mental symptoms - you are the so-called imaginary friend. But I released you, so I don’t really have amnesia, but I become two people?'Yu asked again confirmingly.
Fong Xuan nodded, 'First it's the protective bodyguard, and then it's the sub-personality. In fact, they are both wrong. I had no emotions of my own at first because that memory was all I had when I "wake up". My heart was full of depression, darkness, despair, anger, and resentment. Despite this, I instinctively knew that my duty is to protect you, so I think of myself as a protector. Later, I developed myself, because you and I are the same person, and everything you experience will be shared with me, but because our starting points are different, there are slight differences.'
It's really too unscientific..., Yu thought to herself, and drank the Coke in her hand. The crisp sound of the ice cubes hitting each other echoed in the space.
If such a bizarre thing becomes known to the public, she wonder if it will be a good box office if it is made into a movie or TV series. She was thinking wildly, feeling that her values were being updated at this moment, which not only opened the door to a new world, but also unlocked the scope of what she could imagine in the future.
It sounds like good material for writing a script, but of course it may be scolded by the audience as a bad plot.
The man looked at Yu Ruoling who is in a daze, the softness in His eyes almost overflowed.
There are many people in the world who are in the same situation as her, and He is also doing the work of protecting and supporting them at this moment. Their pain is like His own pain, and He carefully collects every tear they sheds, never letting it flow in vain. When these people cry, He weeps together;when these people rejoice, He rejoices together...
He also has many servants fighting for them, not only the inner mists, but even reality - the outer ones - there are mists trying to attack His people. Those foggy air masses were the enemies He and His kingdom worked hard to clean up and eradicate. Since the time has not yet come, it would be detrimental to everyone to catch them all in one fell swoop.
"Ruoling, "The man poured a glass of grape juice for her and Fong Xuan, and said, "Sometimes you can't hear my voice, it's not that I won't talk to you anymore. In fact, I have been talking to you, but your own voice and the external voice are in your heart. These volumes have such an impact on you that you cannot hear me, and you even subconsciously ignore my voice."
Yu Ruoling turned to look at Him, not quite understanding why the topic suddenly jumped here. ...Even though it answered another of her doubts...
"Eat and drink, you are enjoying the feast in me today. I have redeemed souls and cleansed all sins. You must show all this in order to remember me."The man's eyes, full of compassion and soft light, were slightly bent, His lips raised a nice curve. Yu Ruoling and Fong Xuan were almost trapped in His gaze and couldn't pull out.
Anyone who has ever tasted honey - directly - knows the sweet to the bone taste. His level is roughly the infinite power of honey.
They drank each, and then suddenly realized that they had received Holy Communion.
"Then the last thing left to understand is the introduction to this dimension."
'I'll give it to you, after all, you are the Lord here.'Fong Xuan looked at the man's questioning gaze and handed over her sovereignty without hesitation.
At first, "she" thought she was the one in power here, but it wasn't until He came that she gradually understood what was going on.
"The mind world you call is really a dimension invisible to the naked eye. It is everywhere, just like the three-dimensional dimension of reality, and everyone is in it as soon as they are born. Whether it is a fog or a second oneself, or personality, will be released as long as it is approved by the prime sipirit. I am the king here and the king of the entire world. On the earth, many people call this dimension 'four-dimensional space', and Xuan established it here, the room, is very safe. Even if the fog invades, I gave her the power to bind them. In addition, there is also my shelter here. In fact, in addition to this room, there are many other rooms outside. They all are working hard, I am also by their side to protect them, I am everywhere.”
He said, "Of course, the room is the safest. Don't step out easily. Areas that are not divided into rooms are very dangerous. This is a special area that I specially allowed to set up. I have complete protection. You stay in the room and you will be safe. There will be no danger.”
'Then... 'Yu Ruoling tilted her head and blinked a few times as she looked at Him, 'How did the mist get into my place?'
"The zone I set up is absolutely safe, but the owners of these rooms sometimes ignore their own emotional and psychological reactions. These signals will cause holes in the room barrier, and the fog is actually put in by the owners themselves."