"What should I do!?"

It was unbelievable for me to raise my voice like that.

In the Spiritual Garden encompassed with the lights of stars, moons and twilight, I stood before a woman older than me. Her pointed ears twitching once in a while as I continued on my tirade.

I mean... I was all panicking, unable to think straight and yet in desperation I seek assistance by escaping from reality. To tell the truth, there should be a limit to how idiotic I could be, but...!

"Iris, what am I supposed to do about this all—gauh!?"

My head...! It was karate chopped! Why!?

"You silly child!" In front of me, the Beastkin Princess stated out. "Stop panicking already! Don't you feel ashamed of your conducts?!"

“Augh…!?”

My fellow Fragment easily negated my emotional outburst with one sentence, and I kneeled down in front of her to listen to the sermons I rightly deserved.

Needless to say, being punished by a part of me was depressing as heck. This kind of thing couldn’t have happened back on Earth even if technology has jumped over a hundred years of development.

“Goodness gracious, I can’t believe you’d leave him behind and lock yourself in your room. Even being socially awkward has a limit!” Iris sighed pressing two fingers on her temple.

What!? “I-I’m not socially awkward!!”

“Fine,” The woman rolled her eyes to the side. “You just can’t be honest to yourself, you tsundere character with terminal case of inferiority complex.”

What the heck are you talking about!? Or rather, I’m not a tsundere… no, stop! Don’t look at me like that! There’s no way that can be true, right…?! Right!?

“Charlotte, you of all people should know that you can’t keep going on the way you are now.”

“Mgh…!” I stiffened. “…I’m… sorry.”

“The person who you should apologize to isn’t me, no?”

Ugh. Again, she’s correct. The rotting feeling gnawing in my heart now doubled in size and weight that I literally hung my head down.

“But… It’s just… It doesn’t make sense.”

The lingering will tilted her head, her eyebrows knitted together. How so, she asked. There was no point in hiding my secrets away from myself, so I answered while still sitting in formal posture.

“I mean… I know that Fei can be somewhat dense but I never thought he’d choose this kind of timing to… to…!”

“Deliver a marriage proposal after breakfast?”

Yes! That’s it! That’s the problem! That guy went past the line by shocking me with it!!

“Does that mean you don’t like it?”

“Of course not.”

It didn’t take me a second to answer. I didn’t even think of questioning my mind when it came to my feelings about receiving a proposal. Because…

“Anyone would be happy when they are proposed to by their loved one. Regardless of what I have become, it really, really, really makes me overjoyed the moment Fei desired for my hand in marriage.”

Although now there are lots of complications I had never thought of. Quite a number of it revolved around my gender identity, my capacity to give birth to a child, and sexual intercourses…

“Ugh,” I shuddered from goosebumps. “For some reasons, I can’t picture myself having a child. Is there a little bit of my previous persona sticking with me…?”

This is… troubling. I thought I have accepted myself as Charlotte Augmund, but discovering that I have many cycles of life confused the heck out of me. I mean… gah! My pride isn’t allowing me to imagine the sort of future where I can become a… a…!

“Charlotte? I think you should take a deep breath.”

Uh…? R-right! Right, I should… Inhale… Exhale. Alright.

“Have you calmed down yet?” Iris smiled.

“Un… But the problem is still there…” I sighed, running a hand over my head. “It’s just… To propose marriage around this kind of timing is… it’s wrong.”

Not because of it being bad. It was because we have larger concerns to deal with. If I said ‘yes’ right there and then, what would happen next? Heck, we haven’t even went out on a date…

Not to mention my conscience will never allow me to think so shallowly. It can no longer shrug off trivial details just so that I could grasp the bigger picture. I must – for all intention and purposes, consider both the smallest and the largest problem before I could give my own judgment from now onwards.

“…I see. So you are looking ahead of this. Is this related to the movements in Raumia?”

To Iris’s question, I nodded down. My heart was pounding with unease so I raised my hands and pressed them against my chest, suppressing the festering discomfort even if only for a little.

“There’s not enough time. Even with Radiata, my recovery will require a few more days. It’s more than enough for something to happen be it here or in Raumia,” I growled. “If the leading figure of the upcoming insurrection can find us just in time I woke up, the kingdom can do much better in an even faster rate.”

The wisdom I have collected so far could deduce at least that much. Raumia has never been a kingdom led by fools. Not in the longshot, at least. The nobles were all educated bunches, the Royal Court was made of the best among best in their respective fields, and the Royalty was a circle of living weapons of mass destruction. They also have the best grade of weapons, seasoned army, and ridiculous amount of wealth.

Going against such an enemy is practically impossible. Not unless I can risk my own limbs and the lives of the people I treasured. Even then, victory isn’t guaranteed at all once the Vagnalos are put in the equation. I already shivered when I saw Iris’s combat experience in fighting against one…

“…Charlotte, may I ask what you are planning to do?”

Huh…? I raised my chin and met the gaze of the Beastkin Princess. She was no longer smiling and had sat down before I could notice. I was surprised, but…

No. There’s no time left. By entering this spiritual realm, I have been burning Radiata’s stored Soul Essence and recording. Who knows how long can I stay here? How long Iris can last? Wasting time isn’t permitted.

Shaking my head, I took a deep breath in. With that simple gesture, composure returned back under my control and relaxed my shoulders even if it’s only for a little.

“What I want to do is simple – get out of this hellhole I’ve dug myself in and return back to peaceful life.” I answered readily.

“In doing so, you can finally enjoy your own future together with him. Yes, so that’s how it is.”

Umu. Although I don’t like admitting that it’s way too trivial to be called an objective. What kind of person has a dream of wanting to be by someone’s side? My dream has little to no influence to the world, and I have no desire to achieve a grand objective like world peace.

Thinking around that line almost made me to snort. Almost. It’s not like I have the capacity to be a hero or a saint. I’d prefer letting the world burn if I have to stay apart from my beloved ones, so let this uncouth savage be herself, thank you very much.

“Then why would you think of how to counter Raumia’s moves? All you need to do is—oh.”

Yeah, Iris. That ‘oh’ is practically the core of my problems right now.

“I am a Fragment of a Pure Soul,” I started. “And I am the current Sword Princess, blessed by the Beastkin a few months ago as the final requirement for human and demi-human to cooperate. May I remind you of what role the current Sword Princess has, your highness?”

“I-I see…” Iris nodded apologetically. “This is my oversight. Your livelihood can decide the fate between humankind and the demi-humans. But unfortunately, Raumia does not desire anything but your soul.”

Yeah, you got that right. If the Royalty obtained me, Raumia will grow stronger at the price of angering both Aeinsland and the Beastkin who made an alliance just recently. In the worst case scenario, my death will signify the beginning of chain reaction for Demons to enjoy about. For example, full-blown war between races, rebellions, assassinations, civil wars, widespread poverty, reduced national security and prosperity, et cetera, et cetera…

That showed how useful I could be as a resource, but it didn’t please me at all. It made me as a brand of monkey paw to anyone blind enough that they could say they have nothing left to lose.

“And I don’t like making other people to suffer for my sake. If possible, I want to avoid that kind of outcome at all costs but…”

“…it’s already too late. The die has been cast, Charlotte.”

Yeah… during my sleep, I have missed my chance to overturn the situation.

Sighing, the two of us looked up at the starry sky. We couldn’t see how we look like, or knowing what kind of emotion we have in the moment. Still, the time I’ve spent here allowed me to connect with Iris to a certain degree, faint the connection might have become.

“…Say, Iris.” I called out.

“Hmm?” My Fragment replied.

“Is it possible to create ‘true peace’?” I asked.

Silence. And then—

“That is impossible,” Iris answered. “But it is our privilege to dream what we want, right?”

…

……ah. I guess so.

“If so…” I lowered my head, just in time to meet Iris’s gaze. “I have decided what to do next.”

----------------------------------------

“You’re an utter idiot.”

It was past afternoon. At the second floor of the inn, standing idly in front of a certain room – Leonhardt A. Augmund scoffed. Across of him, the Seventh Prince of Raumia groaned, holding his head in deep agony.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Not only did you not consider the time, place and occasion… You have the gall to ask for my sibling’s hand-in-marriage,” The redhead grunted. “What are you? A kid? Don’t you know you’re putting even more burdens on her shoulders now?”

“…that… that’s not my intention! I wasn’t trying to…”

“What? You got spurred in the moment? Then just kiss her or flirt, you uncouth fake gentleman!! Can’t you just stop making things more difficult for us!?”

The younger boy easily scolded the older one with so much precision and power in his words. Even the person famous for being called as the [Black Hero] couldn’t say anything. There was truth in the insults hurled at him, and he genuinely hung down his head in deep regret as well as guilt.

From an outsider’s view, it was strange and laughable actually. One had to wonder which the adult was but it wasn’t like there could be a room for comedy to walk in. The two were deadly serious.

But as if on cue – the door between the two boys opened, surprising them with the appearance of a petite girl in white – me.

I first looked at Leon. He was silent, but had wide eyes. I nodded vaguely at him. Then I looked at Fei. I didn’t glare at him. At least, I wasn’t trying to show any emotion in front of him right now.

After inhaling, I exhaled and clasped my hands together.

“Alright, enough with all this ruckus!” I announced. “Now, I’d like a change of clothes. Can I borrow your money?”

“Huh?” Leon gaped at my outstretched hand. “Eh? Why me?”

“I’ll pay you back later so just lend me some.”

“O-ohh…”

Good. With cash in hand, I smiled and walked away, heading downstairs. But before that—

“You. Come with me.”

I yanked Fei’s arm and dragged him off the spot. He sputtered incoherent words but I won’t let him get away.

“Things will get busy, so we’re going out on a date, Fei!”

“H-huuuuuh!?”

----------------------------------------

“You said the most outrageous thing sometimes…”

From behind the partitions, Fei’s voice wept out.

“Oh yeah? Is that all you can say?” I replied, pulling the zipper of my dress down.

At once, the cloth loosened, the fabric slipping off my skin before touching the wooden floors. I stood with so much skin to expose, almost bare naked but feeling ashamed was unnecessary. Nobody was around and this changing room was built with personal privacy in mind.

For the records, I still wear my underwears but I intended to change them as well. This place is a tailor shop, after all.

“You do know that you’re in the wanted list of the Court, right?” Fei asked.

“Mhmm. I can surmise that. I did slaughter an army while leaving alone some cowards,” I shook my head. “That was a mistake, huh? Or maybe your sibling has a string attached to her just in case something like this happened?”

“…I can’t deny either possibilities. But still, how audacious can you be?”

Well… I’m not sure how much am I being audacious. I didn’t care enough about how I looked like to others, though I cared about what others think after looking at me. It’s a kind of creed any person born in a modern era would have.

“It doesn’t matter, right? At this point, complaining will get us nowhere.”

“That might be true, but still…” Fei sighed. “I wish you can at least tell me a clear answer even if it’s only for once.”

Right, right. You’re such a demanding person despite serving unofficially as my personal knight. Well, I don’t dislike that side of you at all so don’t worry, Fei. I’ll make sure to explain everything when things settled down.

"Oh, make no mistake. I won't give you any answer if it's about the marriage proposal." I said simply.

"Geh!?"

"I've decided to shelve that aside," I fumed. "But above all else, I'm not sure if I should accept it or not. We're not in the right situation to decide how we live after this, you idiotic knight."

"Ugh... That... That is just..." Fei stuttered.

"What's more, if I were to have a kid, it could be dangerous for both of us. I don't want to risk anything right now. Not you, Leon, myself, or even our future."

"...H-huh? What do you..."

Sigh. Looks like I needed to be clear now.

"I'm saying that you have to wait for my answer. Is that fine for you, Fei?"

"......"

What? The cat got your tongue? Hmm... Was I being too childish...?

"...that's fine," But Fei answered. "I've left you behind for five years so it is my just reward to wait for you to catch up. I'm fine with waiting until you're ready, Charlotte."

...Ah. So he did understand. Geez, you sure are taking your time. Well, at least it cheered me up so I thanked Fei's consideration in the case. Now, one problem has been dealt with~.

“Hmm…?” When I passed by the mirror, I paused and went back to examine myself wuth it. “Eh? Why do I look off?”

Huh… I lowered my gaze, recognizing the moderate mounds that I have. They were wrapped with bandages thanks to my wounds and there were scars lining down my front. While I was still somewhat embarrassed in acknowledging my current self, it made me to smile sadly. I’ve successfully ruined the body given to me by my parents, now…

“…Uh… Wait. That’s not important right now,” I told myself that, looking at my own body and then back at my reflection. “Let’s see…”

The longer I checked, the more confused I’ve become. I twirled in place, examining my body from the crown of my head to my toes. I moved my arms to the side, lowering my upper body while straightening my legs, and as some of my hair fell over my back, I have found a terrifying discovery.

“Eh…? Eh?? D-did I just grow up by a few inches?” I hung my jaw. “But that’s… Ugh. This is just messed up!”

Grumbling, I cursed whatever thing that believed accelerated age progression is a good thing. Sure, the idea of growing up faster could be good for some impatient brats but in a world where a second could decide one’s life, suddenly maturing is a no-no.

After all, it’d be hard for me to maintain my regular combat stance. I’d require a few changes about my selection of clothes, and I must have a complete refit for my equipment. Some skills also needed retraining to synchronize with my current physique, and I have to get used with my increase of height…

“Sigh. Nothing’s ever easy.” I mumbled, and then grabbed the clothes and the underwears I picked.

I walked to the partitions, sliding it a bit and stuck out the hand which was holding the aforementioned objects.

“Say, Fei. Can I ask you to switch the size of these ones? A size larger, maybe?”

“Huh – bwah!? Wh-what-what…!? Don’t… Don’t just show me your underwear like this!!”

“Whaaat? Cut it out, you fake gentleman.” I pursed my lips. “You already stripped me bare. You even saw me naked a lot of times so why are you fussing about this?”

Ah, I heard whispers. Are there other people outside? Maybe I should hurry a bit…

“Stop speaking nonsense! That was out of necessity, and the second claim only happened at your home!!” Fei protested.

“Eeeeh…? That doesn’t change the fact that you entered my room while I changed, right?” I poked my head out of the small room and half-glared at my knight.

Oh, his face’s red. It sure looked like boiling octopus now. How cute~.

“I wasn’t the least bit interested in you back there!!” The young man huffed. “By the Gods, enough teasing me like this, Charlotte…”

Oho? So he’s embarrassed? I didn’t know that Fei could be this emotional. Yet again, I’ve discovered a rare side of him and somehow, it made my heart to leap like a rabbit flying to the moon! I should go on and find out more sides of him!!

“Heh he… And what will happen if I teased you again, my knight?” I smirked. “Don’t tell me… are you going to let loose your wildest desires that you always held back until now? My, you’re such a beast!”

I was about to snicker, but the grunt that escaped Fei’s mouth made me to look at him in the eyes. His dull grey eyes were showing a big light that I have never recognized, and they broke the eye contact in gusto that I noticed how much heat had rushed to his head. It even reached the tip of his ears.

However, Fei’s behavior was telling me something. It was way too easy to read a person’s emotion by checking on their body languages now. I knew that this skill I’ve learned from my previous selves could be of some us, but…

But… As I stared at Fei with wide eyes, I was forced to realize. I was forced to understand why he averted his gaze away from me. I had no choice but to understand why his cheeks and ears were red, and why he was crumpling his fists with such an odd expression that left no space for calm composure.

“……Eh?”

Instantly, heat rushed to my face.

“……w-wait… Hold on…” My legs trembled, the experience slowly crawling to the crown of my head. “A-are you… are you lusting over me…?”

Th-there’s no way, right? I know that boys his age are easy to stimulate, but just by teasing, one can be that aroused…?

B-but it’s Fei we’re talking about! There’s no way he…!

“…….d…” Fei paused covering his mouth with a hand. “…Do you even need to ask…?”

…

“E…”

Ah. No good. This is no good. My heart is racing! My body temperature is also rising!

Bad. This is bad! This is getting ridiculous! I was just trying to pull a prank! I wanted a comedy routine, not… Not this… This…! This kind of develop—

“Eep!” I retreated back into the changing room and shut the partitions.

My steps were wobbly. I couldn’t control my breathing intervals. It was hard to breathe, and it was unbearably hot. But I didn’t stop retreating until my back hit against the wall next to the mirror.

Then… Then my legs lost all strength. I slid down to the floor, feeling so weak and helpless.

“A… Auu…. Uuu…” I groaned, castin down my gaze as I held my head in place. “Uguu… That was unfair, even for you, dammit…”

For once, I regretted my prankster habit. Heck, I felt like I had just lost a humiliating defeat……

----------------------------------------

The walk back was quiet.

With all the hectic happenings at the tailor over, Fei went off to get our order of replacement armors. It didn’t need to be said that His steps were rushed. He didn’t even look at my direction when he departed to the forge close to the village’s entrance.

Somehow, this kind of awkward tension lasted until my stomach growled, and Fei chuckled.

“Honestly,” He said. “You shouldn’t restraint yourself like that, Princess.”

I puffed my cheeks when I remembered that ridiculing laughter. He even pointed that out for several times that it prompted me to jab an elbow at his side. Unsurprisingly, Fei still has no tact at all.

But it was fun.

We talked about lots of things, ate a variety of cuisine, and bought the necessary equipment while making sure to stay away from any patrolling guards. It felt like… a secret rendezvous?

“No, no. As if that can happen. Nope, nope!” I waved a hand and laughed, mostly at the nonsense my train of thought came up with.

“? What are you talking about, Charlotte?” Fei who was walking next to me asked.

I smiled at him. It’s nothing important, I said with a shake of head to the left and right. Heaving a light sigh, I readjusted my grip over the shopping bag in my hands.

“With this, I think we can leave at any time.” I muttered.

“Yeah. But to where?”

A good question, indeed. Where should we go? The words etched their selves in my mind. I cast my gaze up to the reddening sky, and pondered a little.

“Well, where do you want to go to, Fei?” I asked the young man.

“…I’m still not sure,” He replied, hanging his head down. “I really want to do something about it. Both your situation and mine… But your brother has a point that there’s no worth in risking ourselves any further.”

The [Black Hero] scoffed.

“I wish I can solve it all so that I can throw away all of my responsibility… Once and for all.”

…Same here. I wish life can start making some senses for me too. Imagine how much leisure times I could spend with. I could finish my school life this time for sure, go on an adventurer, or maybe return back to my hometown. Either way, I must surmount this trial if I could do any of those things.

But it would be all for nothing if I lost someone close to me. There would be no meaning if I couldn’t do anything at all either. All of my hard work, all of my worries and time I’ve spent so far… If they amounted to nothing, I’d rather die.

“Living a life…” Fei inhaled. “I didn’t know it can be this hard.”

…

“…I guess so,” I responded with a light laughter blowing through my nose. “But we have to decide soon, right?”

The youth nodded. I curved down my lips at his steady resolve. As I gazed at the determined glimmer in his eyes, I thought that it was fine to say nothing more.

But…

“What about you?” Fei’s voice rang out. “What will you do next, Charlotte? What do you want to do?”

……

…ah. Really now… That is just unfair, you know? To think you’d try to gain a leverage after bringing my hope up…

“…Charlotte?” Fei called out to me, and I responded by meeting his gaze.

Before I knew it, I have stopped walking.

Before he knew it, the person I fell in love with faced me.

And before he could be ready, I opened my mouth.

“I’m going to take you away from Raumia, Fei.”

The clouds changed shapes. The winds had started moving.

“…huh?” The young man replied. “What… did you say?”

“It’s what I want to do next,” I explained. “Well, I’m basing it on living a fulfilling life together with people I treasured so much. Up until now, I’ve been relying on everyone as my supports when all I did wasn’t beneficial at all to them. I want to repay everyone’s kindness in some ways, you see.”

But the truth is…

“I just want to make sure I can fulfill my promise on time. You know, about seeing the world and having all sorts of fun along the way…”

I scratched my cheek. There was no need to point out how embarrassed I am, but that didn’t matter for now. Yes, there’s no need to trouble myself with complicated stuff.

“If my goal is to explore the entire continent, then I can make my way to various places. I can go to Raumia… to the Southern Region, Serilia… or even Daemonia.”

It was kind of weak, even as a reasoning. It just meant I will do whatever I want, going wherever I want, and moving on my whims all the time. It’s a very, very selfish motivation.

But so what? Rather than being obliged with a duty too heavy for me and very few freedom of movements, I will just do my own thing while dealing with world crisis along the way. If needed to, I will revoke my title as a noble, though it might cause some bumps on the road.

Yet again, that can be set aside for later dates. I have other alternatives just in case. For now…

“My first step is getting all this waste of time done with. I still have school, and I haven’t written a letter to my parents and my friends. It won’t do if the rebellion were to happen either, while we too must prevent the Royalty from destabilizing the situation even further.”

As such… I raised a finger, twirling it around.

“Tonight, we’re leaving. We’re going back to Raumia as fast as we can.”

I could almost feel Fei’s strong gaze on my back. Glancing, I found him having an utterly blank expression. It was as if he didn’t know what to say, but I could tell his mind was already intending to accept my suggestion. That’s good to know…

What I could do was still limited. But I have influential backing right next to me for twenty-four-seven, and my own self as a bargaining chip. Even then, charging ahead is no good. Giving up isn’t good either.

I lacked many things, including vital information. But I intend to cover that as soon as we left. Once that’s done, the quickest shortcut to my peaceful days would be….

“I have a request, my knight,” I snapped two fingers. “I wish for your permission to obtain a direct audience with Her Highness the Queen.”