Three days until my birthday.
I couldn't stay patient with how boring the prison was. Setting aside the visit of the Emperor, nobody tried to pay me a visit. Well, it's not like I'm complaining but it's lonely down here...
Hm. That's right... I wonder how Elliot and Seina is doing right now.
"...it's not like I have deep attachment with them..."
I guess it can't be helped. I exhaled and stopped lying on bed. Sitting back up, I heard another approaching footstep.
"Miss!!" A certain feline beastman shouted out in relief as he gaze at me.
"Oh, Gram. It has been a while." I greeted him with a smile.
"I... I'm sorry, nya. I never thought..."
Huh. He's apologizing right away when I had no clue if he did something at all. Even the wardens looked at him in confusion but I sighed when I watched Gram prostrating in front of me. This guy too, has no pride whatsoever. I doubt he never got a good woman in his life.
"Calm down. I roughly understand why but you shouldn't do this. It's unbecoming." I patted his head from behind the bars.
"She's right, boy. Ain't somethi'n good to see when ya degrade yerself like this." Kata-san muttered.
"If your ex-girlfriend saw this, she would slap you all-over again." Lance-san added.
Don't remind me of that, Gram raised his head and pursed his lips, scowling. But I never thought he could get a lover before. Oh well, since the time is right—
"Miss... I do think this sounds rude but... what will you do now, nya? Everyone is worried."
"Everyone...? Ah, Seina and Elliot?"
"Not just them, nya. A letter from Raumia and Serilia just arrived this morning. One written by Master and a prince named Felix."
...eh? Fei sent a letter...? I widened my eyes and my heart throbbed wildly for some reasons. It was odd... It's as if my body was set on fire...
"G-Gramvein. The second letter... what is the content of it?" I tried asking calmly but was I seen through? Gram and the warden duo were speechless and they exchanged looks blankly.
I urged them to hurry though. In fluster, Gram told me that if I was hurt, he would personally turn the whole Monarchy into rubble. But responding to it, the Emperor scoffed and threw away the letter from the balcony...
Ah. So that's why Gram knew. But I didn't expect the ruler of this place littered. It'd have been a huge scandal on earth... Well, beside that...
"That... that guy... Geez, just what is he thinking...?" I exhaled, somehow amazed by how Fei threatened a Divine Beast.
However... I guess he has the power to back it up. Fei is a genuine Hero after all. He's overflowing with talents and his mindset is one of a veteran who could see things realistically. To be honest... I don't think he would end with provoking Valden simply to protect me.
But... even though I felt lightheaded all of a sudden and that my chest seemed to burst with warmth, I realized that I'm going to be protected again.
I don't want that. I wanted to be stronger so that I can help him, not troubling him. This is just counterproductive so why am I feeling happy about it...? I reprimanded myself but the heat hasn't receded. Uu... so troublesome.
"Erm... Miss...?"
"Ah!? U-Un... Thank you for the answer. Also, Gram. Did father say..."
Gram shook his head.
"The moment his majesty read it, he yelled "The hell with this cockatrice scratches mark!? He hasn't improved at all!" in a terribly loud voice."
......ah. That's the letter of challenge.
Father may be a herbivore but it didn't mean he was above picking a fight with criminals on the loose or smacking a ruffian upside-down. Still, he told me that being polite was the proper thing when challenging someone stronger than yourself.
Unfortunately, he resorted to the old-fashioned way. In other words, he tried to copy Japanese way to issue a duel. Probably, he used kanji that no one except people like me or Takeru could understand.
"That Hermit must have told him that... Sigh. He sure likes to toy with others." I tapped my temple thrice to keep my mood from falling off.
Breathing out, I realized there's no use in thinking about it. My status is now a prisoner and I'm out of the picture like this. Pretty sure I have failed the Quest and more than a month had passed ever since I took it.
Fortunately, there's nothing saying about time limit but I'm still down knowing I would be expelled. Not to mention I have yet to uncover everything that I want to know. Also, if Fei went here, my confidence will fall apart like a crumbling sandcastle. I don't think I can recover if my goal ended like that...
Mgh... What the heck am I supposed to do, now...?
"Miss... if I propose a petition to the Emperor…" Gram suddenly spoke out, bringing me back to reality.
"...No. You will be in deep trouble if you do that."
Though I'm grateful he offered help, I wouldn't want someone related to me be in trouble for my sake. In fact, if he tried to suggest a jailbreak, I would slap this werecat. Hard.
"You have better things to do, Gram. I am fine here so please return. It will be disastrous if others noticed your absence."
"But..."
"It's fine. Just tell the prince and princess that I'm unharmed, and tell them to do something to make sure an agreement is achieved no matter what."
With that, the talk ended and the beastman complied. I sighed in relief. Unfortunately, Kata-san struck a chord with his following words.
"Will it be fine? What do ye yerself think, Princess?"
Princess... right. Even these two started to call me that. To be honest, I'm done with acting but bad habit persisted. In the end, I decided to endure and told my opinion rather than nitpicking about my nickname every single time.
There's a limit to running gag, after all.
"It's fine. I am used to misfortune so I'd rather want others not to suffer the same fate."
Saying that, I returned to the cold stone bed for the sake of collecting my thoughts once again.
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Night fell faster than expected.
To be perfectly honest, it's downright cold if I didn't coat myself within layers of aura, though it's kind of taxing in the long run. At least it worked well for training...
"Hm...? The wardens are late. I wonder what's going on out there." In the lonesome cell, I blurted out my thought.
Indeed, nobody was around. Even outside the cell, only the torch hanging on the wall sounded cracking of woods.
A little while ago, Mr. Kata and Mr. Lance went off to rotate shift with the other wardens. The Emperor doesn't seem to be stupid when he considered his minion's condition and he knew I could do nothing as long as my weapons are confiscated.
But oddly enough, it feels too silent tonight. I don't get this sensation well. Somehow, it forced my wariness to heighten above the usual rates. This feeling...
"...Who's there?" I asked in a clear tone of voice.
I thought there could be no one who would reply since other prisoners have probably slept soundly. It was going to be midnight, after all. But something answered my question.
It was a small giggle. From the volume, I recognized it as a girl's voice but why do I feel like I've heard it somewhere...?
"Good evening, Mistress. It's been a while, isn't it?"
Accompanied by the mischievous whisper, a girl with black-white hair donning a black cloak loosely stepped into my sight. I frowned when I realized I didn't know anything about her. It was the first time I've ever seen her, but...
She seemed older than she appeared to be. Even though it's blatantly obvious that she's beyond eighteen with those tracts of land, height and shape of her angular face... There was an aura of maturity with a shred of youthfulness in her gait...
Ugh. So freaking huge… and I'm stuck with a 15 years old body for a while despite me being older than how I looked like, and despite my body looking older than how it was supposed to be!
"Arara, why are you upset? Are you disappointed I'm not the prince in shining armors?"
"Not at all... it's about something else. At any rate, who might you be?"
The girl snickered and she puffed her chest.
"I'm Tatiana! Nice to meet'cha, Mistress!!" She extended a hand to me.
However... she's suspicious. I don't get why, but I felt some irritation and displeasure by looking at het. Why does it feel like I've met the worst Casanova ever? I have to keep my distance with her.
"No need to be alerted~ Mistress, you've done quite a good job for a while, haven't you?" She smiled.
"What do you mean...?" I asked.
"Hmm... I guess you did well for surviving this long without much help?"
Ugh. What's with that ominous implication? Are you saying I shouldn't have lived this long if I remained by myself? Am I being looked down upon...? I couldn't tell if this person was joking or not.
"Well, you gave a Vagnalos a dream too. I never thought Artificial Weapons could be forgiven as long as the Tree of Eon stayed rooted in this realm."
...what?
"Not only that, you sheltered the Demon King's illegitimate child when he was supposed to die by Bravzgaim's hands. Also, meeting those related with the Chaos Cult affected two children's fates a bit... Well, the influence to the Little One is eerily small though..."
"Wai-Wait a moment! What do you mean by that!?"
I interrupted her as the long-winded list of something I couldn't understand rolled on. I don't get it! Just what is she talking about and why does it sound so grim?!!
"Hm? You don't even notice that you altered people's Destiny? Well, although it's more like Fates but the Vagnalos is the only one influenced the most by your actions."
"What... what are you saying...? Fate? Destiny...?"
I stared Tatiana but she let out a small chuckle to hide her answer from me. Folding her hands together, she straightened her back and said.
"Mhm. I didn't expect you to be in the dark about it. Well, whatever. I wish to talk with you for a while. Is that fine?"
...Mh… though I wanted to refuse, the fact that the wardens have yet to appear and that I'm feeling anxious meant one thing: This girl is dangerous.
Maybe comparable to Ivory or Bravzgaim, even. I can't let my guard down but I can't do anything the way I am now.
Why am I so weak...? I cursed myself but then, I felt my head being patted several times. I gazed up and found it was Tatiana rubbing my head without asking for permission first and foremost.
"You're a strong girl. So honest and brave just like a hero." She said with a grin.
"Wh-What are you saying, all of a sudden?!" I brushed aside her hand and reeled back.
Contrary to my denial, Tatiana's grin stretched from ear-to-ear. Her eyes sparkled so much that I couldn't take it any longer. I seriously can't believe she could show such expression.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
"As expected of the princess. You have a solid defense." Tatiana muttered.
Not her too...! Why am I called that everywhere!?
The girl laughed, deciding to sit down without a care to the world. Ugh... Looks like I have no choice but to follow in suite. Once we settled down in our own most comfortable position, Tatiana started.
"Let's see here... Kind of abrupt but do you have boyfriend?"
"Pfft!?"
I did a spit take. Had I drank too much at dinner, I would have vomited especially when I imagined myself dating with boys! Just think about it! Me, having a boyfriend?! No. Fucking. Way!!
"So you don't have one." Tatiana tilted her head and snickered. "Then what about the Seventh Vagnalos?"
"...eh?"
What... Vagnalos, as in... Fei? Fei, she said...?
For some reason, a picture of me holding hands with him appeared in my head. It was too vivid for being an illusion and somehow, the picture zoomed in to his smile. What's even more surprising, I never saw him smiling innocently like that.
Before I knew it, blood rushed to the crown of my head.
"What! What are! What the heck...! As if that could ever happen! I don't have any feeling like that on him...!!" I swayed around and held my head together.
I don't get it...! Why am I imagining that kind of thing! All I remembered about him is him complaining, uncaring about anything else, grinning wickedly, showing a cold poker face, flustered when he barged in while I was changing clothes, putting stern atmosphere if I did something stupid and also troubled about the most trivial things! Even if he smiled, it's always insincere and he faked it for 10 out of 9 cases-
"Wait, how come I remembered all of his expressions so easily!?"
I... I...! What's wrong with me!? What in the bloody hell is going on with me and my thought patterns...?!
"How cute~! Looks like your soul is integrating with your body successfully, huh?" A sudden comment brought me back to the matter at hands.
More like... I'm stunned speechless by Tatiana's words. She said what? My soul is integrating with my body successfully...?
"Say, can I ask a question, Mistress?"
"Huh?"
"Why are you trying so hard to be close with him?"
...
Whaaaaaattt...? Now I'm confused... I don't get what this girl is thinking and unease began to swell inside my heart. Her words seemed to carry some strange charm... like magic or something. Rather, she's too much of a smooth talker that I'm doubting my ears.
Even so... Now that I think about it... It really is strange. Somehow, the topic of the question resounded in my head and it left me wondering about it too.
Why am I going this far? Why am I interested about Fei? Why am I feeling so restless whenever I thought about him now?
If I remembered correctly... wasn't my intention living in peace without troubles? I had enough of my misfortunate past life and I almost died for more than once in the early years of my second life...
Well, scratch that. I died for the third time and was mysteriously revived without a side-effect. But the same question lingered: Why did I do all of those things?
Of all things, I dove into dangers when I was supposed to not involve myself with them.
Of all things, I took the trouble to sharpen myself while having someone in my mind.
Of all things, I chided myself for my weaknesses and loathed the idea of getting help.
I did too much things that should have warranted my suspicions. Somehow, I even felt that me doing this and that were the correct thing to do but… shouldn't they be the polar opposite of what my principles dictated?
If it's not odd, what else could this behavior be called as...?
"......hoo. So that's it. You're... very interesting." Tatiana murmured.
"...What do you mean...?" In confusion, my reply was late for about ten seconds.
"Mistress is very interesting. You have the beauty, the right skills and the right determination but your foundation is surprisingly shallow."
...is she saying that I don't have a good mindset? How rude! And I'm not a beauty!
"That might be because you can't accept it right? You don't want to accept your feelings yet."
"Huh—?"
...I don't want to accept my feelings...? Why do I have to accept them? My feelings are already mine from the start, right?
"Hmm... Let me rephrase that." Tatiana pressed a finger on her chin. "Your soul is connected to your body, alright? But did you know that you have passed through a cycle and lost all sort of reception to emotions?"
...Ah.
"Is it..." I leaned my upper body forward. "Is it when I died? I... Certainly felt my chest was hollow and that I couldn't feel anything at all."
The girl in black and white nodded. It was a sage response that told me some clues, but I couldn't think of anything to link them all. Out of worry, I dived into my memories and recalled my first death... Only to shudder.
Oh. No. Stop, stop. Don't remember the psychotic truck driver. Just don't, me. He's your killer, and he seemed to have a thirst for blood. I didn't know what happened to him but that face was certainly only something you'd find when watching B-grade thriller movie with unstable madman as the villain.
Focus yourself! Other than your sister, your childhood friends, parents, classmates and people from the neighborhood, what else is there... Ah, I went back too far. But I just realized that I forgot what names most of my schoolmates had, and somehow, my memories are ha...zy?
"...Huh? Wh-What's going on?" I grabbed the side of my head. "I can't remember my previous life's past... Completely."
What... What's wrong with me? I couldn't remember what the Toribe residence looked like. My parents' faces... My past family life was all blurry. Even the time I spent with Arika was diminishing, and I could only recall bits and pieces of it. Why...?!
"Of course you can't." Whuat?! "You can't possibly hope to remember them when you can no longer meet people that you once knew in this world everyday. Nobody comes to mind, right? Their faces and names are blurry, right? I'm sure you've forgotten what you were doing in your early period of life before your death."
...Ah... Aaah...... Tatiana... She's, she's right. I couldn't even remember what was the last lesson I had from high school. And the more I tried to recall older memories, all I got was a thick veil of mist filling my head...
It... It hurts...! Why? Why can't I remember-
"Mistress, that's the price of reincarnation. Don't you know that?"
"What...? But... But! That doesn't make sense! I'm still completely aware of myself!"
"Are you sure you're not mistaking the mechanism of the universe with the embellished concept often appearing in light novels? This is reality. It works differently."
Augh...! That... That makes sense! So much so that I lost any word to complain about!! I couldn't even say anything now! I can't even get angered!!
But why!? I... I successfully reincarnated! I thought I could carry ober my past memories... Wait, that doesn't mean I could stay remembering it all! How come I just realized that simple fact...!?
"Anyway, Mistress," Tatiana raised a finger. "Besides your disappearing memories of past life, what do you think of yourself?"
"H-Huh...?" I blinked, confused. "I... I am, me, right?"
What is that question, anyway...?
"Hm... That's passable." But Tatiana ignored me, and only rubbed her chin several times. "Then, what's your name?"
"I am Charlotte Augmund." I answered at the obvious question.
"Your age?" The girl asked further.
"Body reaching 13 years old this year... And mental age... Uh... Thi-Thirty years old...?"
...Hm...?
"Who are your parents?"
"My father is Alex Augmund, and my mother is Agatha Augmund. Both are low-ranked nobles."
...Eh...?
"Where were you born?"
"A frontier land close to the central region of Magnis, a small village called Bluesnake."
Huh...?
"What is your hobby?"
"Cooking, training, and... And... Helping people in trouble...?"
What...?
"Favorite stuff?"
"Pas...try... And Anfle."
What...?!
"Hated stuff?"
"...Weakness..."
Wait! What... What's going on!? I... What the hell is this-
"What is your gender?"
"Female..."
What!?
Next, Tatiana raised her hands and clapped them right before my eyes. I blinked, then yelped, and almost fell backward. Before I knew it, I released air that I wasn't aware of holding in and gasped like a fish out of the pond.
Outside the cell, the strange girl sighed.
"See?" She muttered, closing an eye. "The thing that makes your past identity is being eroded by your current identity. In other words, the persona of 'Charlotte Augmund' is replacing the previous one. You are changing, Mistress."
What...?
"But it doesn't mean it's bad. This transition period is what all who fell in the Six Paths while being aware of it would experience. It's a common case for your current self to overwrite your past self due to the growing experience you gain in your new body." She explained. "Once your age matched up, you will be your own self, Charlotte Augmund."
"...What... N-No! I don't want to!" I yelled. "There's no way I will forget my past life! It's very important to me! It's a part of me!!"
"Then you're fine faking yourself in front of everyone that knows you until now?"
"......!"
The girl known as Tatiana didn't smile. She didn't even wear any expression as she stated out words, one after another.
"No need to worry. This change is inevitable, or you will break down from confusing which is your 'true' identity. In the end, the cycle of reincarnation has already 'cleansed' your soul so that when you are born in a different form like this, you won't die from the initial shock. That's right, your soul was reset into a blank slate and has been repainted anew."
I didn't want to hear it. I didn't like what I discovered. I wanted her to stop, but I couldn't. I couldn't... Even move my fingers. Why...?
"So, it's alright." Tatiana curved down her lips. "You won't deny your feelings now."
...
"...What... What are you... Talking about...?" I gasped for breaths. "I don't... Get this all. I don't get it...! What do you know about me?! What are you trying to say!?"
I shouted. I yelled. My voice echoed throughout the entire basement prison, but only silence responded back to me. The quiet tranquility, and the chilly wind entering through the ventilation...
It all scared me. It froze my body, and I clutched my arms, shaking visibly as my mind began to swirl and swirl and swirl around that it became too much to ensure.
Yet a hand touched my shoulder, stopping me from getting consumed by despair and madness. I looked up, meeting the heterochromia eyes with my emerald eyes; my figure reflected in those gems.
"Can't you notice it?" Tatiana asked, tracing the hand to my shoulder, brushing my chin and going down my neck and below.
When a finger tapped on the center of my chest, a strange throbbing sound came forth. I stilled a little, only to realize nothing was happening. Huh...? What was that earlier...
"Tell me, Mistress." Tatiana paused, "Have you ever thought of making someone the happiest in the world?"
...Mh...? What's with that...
"Do you know why people, especially humans go as far as they can for the sake of someone? Devoting themselves to a person they cared the most even if they said otherwise?" The girl giggled. "Relax. There's no reason for you to deny the efforts you've put through. Just try to think of it: why would you go so far for someone?"
...Why... Would I go so far for someone...? Why would someone devote themselves for another... Oh.
"No need to be ashamed of it, you know? After all, that too is a part of you. It's something anyone would experience at least once in their life."
As if cold water was poured on me, my brain began to work and the gears rotated in perfect sync. So much was sinking, so much was understood, and so much things clicked together.
"'i want to fight with him'; 'I want to be with him'; 'If only I could be closer than as is with him'; 'I want to be his equal'... All these wishes. These aspirations combined with devotion that seemed inhumane could only mean one thing."
Just like that, heat rose to my cheeks. I hung down my mouth, muttering an 'eh' sound reflexively.
Tatiana grinned, pushing my lower jaw to close my mouth. She descended her gaze, locking it with mine and-
"You've fallen in love, right?"