What the hell am I thinking?! Kiwi’s chest size doesn’t even matter, I mean big chests are better than small chests but what the hell does that matter; she's a freakin 'mantis that I've seen dig inside of dead bodies for fresh meat and sleep coated in blood from her victims, although that was when she was well...an actual mantis. These monster girls may look cute and womanly, but I know better than anyone that all of them are vicious killers.

However, when I watch Cake it certainly doesn’t seem that way as Cake is currently teaching Cinnamon some basic language and dodging techniques...mostly dodging techniques.

‘Cinnamon if you want to be useful to Meister you have to learn how to avoid attacks from creatures that want to harm him,’ Cake said to Cinnamon since Cinnamon didn’t avoid Cakes attack.

‘Cinnamon. Useful. Maifear.’ Cinnamon replied to Cake, determined to learn.

‘Okay, then I will snip you from the left make sure to dodge it and try to counter attack if you can.,’

Cinnamon’s eyes turned to a serious glare and as Cake brought down her claw on top of Cinnamon, vanished into a black mist and Cake’s claw went straight through the mist and Cinnamon latched onto Cakes claw and tried to bite through her hardened carapace to no avail of doing any damage.

‘Cinnamon make sure you attack the weak points of our enemies. For example, my weak point is these small lines of flesh in between my carapace,’ Cake scolded Cinnamon and they tried again and this time Cinnamon bit into Cake causing a small amount of blood to drip down Cakes claw.

‘Good job Cinnamon,’ Cake responded to being bit and pried Cinnamon off of her.

‘Cinnamon. Hungry. Replenish. Power.’ Cinnamon responds after being pried off of Cake.

‘You’re hungry? I must solve this to prove myself to Meister! Cinnamon you may eat my claw to sustain yourself!’ Cake replies to Cinnamon and I immediately respond by sending Cake a stern message.

‘Cake, do not give others pieces of your body if they say they are hungry!’ I respond.

‘I’m sorry, Meister. I will punish myself later by pretending to sleep,’

Ugh...whatever. That used to be my job to teach the basic dodging techniques but I am more than willing to pass on that menial labor to someone else and instead focus on my new job, internet-surfing, which is very important when in a new place especially a new world. There is even news of the recent explosion from the sewers, so it's a little exciting that something I was a part of is being talked about by everyone else.

I stretch my tendril and click on a news video titled, The Sewage Earthquake and How the Black Huntress is Involved!

Oh! So, Gothalyn is called the Black Huntress unless they just got the wrong suspect that also happened to be a woman with a dark tone around her.

“Early afternoon yesterday, a small localized earthquake was felt by residents near Eagle Hospital, who soon had their water shut off; including the hospital; which is currently using its emergency water storage. This however was not an earthquake but a large explosion meant to kill a group of Pack-bats including the nest breeder. The reason behind the killing is unknown. A top suspect at the Hero Organization is the Black Huntress,” Kiwi interrupts the video and I pause it.

‘Maistear?’ Kiwi asks from behind me.

‘Yes, Kiwi?’ I respond.

‘What does a better bed feel like?’ Kiwi asks.

‘It feels like sleeping on the couch but better.’ I explain to Kiwi.

‘Really?! But the couch already feels like the comfiest of corpses.’ Kiwi replies, excited.

C...CORPSES!!! That’s how you rate the comfiness of a bed, what type of corpse it feels like! I hate that I even know the answer to that question. The only monster species that feels most like an actual bed that I've met so far is my species. Since my species is bouncy I assume we would make great bedding, not like I'm going to tell Kiwi that.

‘Kiwi, I think you’ll just have to experience it for yourself,’

‘You are right! I can’t even begin to process something better than the couch. Just thinking about the couch makes me sleepy. I think I’ll sleep on it more, if you need anything I will be here as fast as possible, Maistear.’

For the next few hours, I didn’t really do anything other than look up random info on the internet about this place.I did finish the news video, but it didn’t really have any other info. I also learned about a website that shows all the known monsters of this world, which could be helpful if I wanted to start being picky about which monsters eggs I steal since not all monsters are created equal or if learn about monsters I might fight against. This website also claims that over 10,000 different monster species exist around the world and that new ones are constantly popping up.

I also looked up a bunch of random questions as well out of mild curiosity like, Who is the Strongest Person? It turned out it's a woman who does hero work as a hobby but has been missing for a long time, so that's interesting. The next random question that serves no purpose other than to sate my mild curiosity is what is Gumtrap a part of, I know it’s a city but what country does it belong to. Turns out that Gumtrap is a City-State that separated from another nation over tax disputes that nation has since fallen from grace and is basically a husk of its former self while Gumtrap soared to be the most advanced place in the world. And finally the most random of the random questions that I asked Bong was, How old can you be to drink alcohol? Surprisingly enough Gumtrap is pretty straightforward and strange in its laws regarding age it's the day before your nineteenth birthday for basically everything: age of consent, drinking, smoking, even a driver's license. Yep, apparently, no one under the age of eighteen and 364 days can drive, it even says it’s heavily enforced which I find kind of strange but it's whatever it's not like I’m going to be doing too much driving anyway. I’ll soon be able to fly! Maybe! Probably not! But only one way to find out!

SystOs upgrade my Anti Gravity and other stuff since I have the Biomass to spare.

[Confirmed, using 96 Biomass; remaining amount 6.

Suction Cups - Anti-Grav: (Weak) -> (Max)]

Regeneration Gland - Deconstructive Regeneration: (Extremely Weak) -> (Max)

[You have maxed out your Suction Cups; You may choose a mutation upgrade to advance]

Grip(+)

Power(+)

Anti-Grav(+)

[You have maxed out your Regeneration Gland; You may choose a mutation upgrade to advance]

Speed(+)

Usability(+)

Deconstructive(+)

Two at the same time! Hmm...I think I’ll pick Anti-Grav for my suction cups since the allure of the possibility of flying is too much for me to not choose it and I’m happy with my grip even if my power could be enhanced to make me stronger but I would rather have more anti-gravity over being stronger.

For my regeneration gland, I’m conflicted over Speed or Deconstructive. Usability is out because it's simply not as useful as the other two since all it does is make those pesky poisons and other things not take away my biomass. I also haven’t experienced Deconstructive yet since it is my newest power so I don’t know if I should wait and find out how strong it is or just advance speed. But if I get Speed I’m pretty sure it will help Deconstructive work faster so I’m leaning more towards it.

Sure! Why not! Faster Regeneration is always a good thing.

[Confirmed, you have chosen to advance (Anti-Grav)]

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

[Confirmed, you have chosen to advance (Speed)]

I lost all my senses for a few minutes but regained them stronger than ever. As soon as I woke up I tested out my new and improved Anti-Gravity and I felt impossibly light. Which made sense since I was no longer on the ground I was floating an inch off the ground.

IM FLOATING!! I REALLY AM FLOATING! Okay! Now all I have to do is find a way to move without touching the ground! Which is easier said than done...maybe if I sprouted wings? Eh? It’s worth a shot?

I focus my entire body and mind on trying to create something to allow me to fly like a bird but all I end up making is a slightly wonky tendril that can do little more than spin me around like an astronaut in space.

Also, why do I feel so tired all of a sudden?

[Stamina 250/500

Half my stamina is gone just from a minute of floating! Well, it’s not that big of a deal, it’s not like I could do anything just floating an inch or two off the ground.

Welp! Guess I’ll stare at Kiwi some more until the novelty of a mantis girl wears off and search the internet at the same time since I have 360-degree vision and all the time in the world as a monster that doesn’t need sleep.

As I’m watching over Kiwi, Gothalyn opens up the door to the water treatment plant and comes up the stairs with a small dress in hand, however, she drops it as soon as she spots Kiwi and Cinnamon sleeping together.

“...oh more,” Gothalyn lightly said as soon as she saw Kiwi sleeping on the couch with Cinnamon “pretending” to sleep on top of Kiwi for failing against Cake in practice combat as a part of Cakes lesson.

Gothalyn has definitely had her mind blown one too many times. I guess I’ll explain Kiwi and Cinnamon to her.

‘Kiwi speak using your mouth and say, :Kiwi evolved into this new form and I used that egg we stole for Cinnamon, the bat sleeping on top of Kiwi:’

“Kiwi evolved into this new form and I used that egg we stole for Cinnamon; the bat sleeping on top of Kiwi,” Kiwi said while still half-asleep. Kiwi had a much clearer and more human voice than Cake so I might use Kiwi as my de-facto human translator instead of Cake. Cake isn’t bad per se but her mouth claws certainly don't give her the best of voices, although it has gotten better.

“Who? Speaking?” Gothalyn asks unsure if it was me or Kiwi speaking.

“The one who slapped the radiation off of you,” Kiwi says.

“Ahh. Puffball.”

I hate that name. Call me anything besides that, and I would be happy! You know what I think I’ll flex my control over her and try to get her to call me something different.

As I was trying to work out a plan with Kiwi. Gothalyn aka Brooklyn aka Creepy Goth Lady picks up the small maid dress she was carrying and walks over to me.

“Wear?” Gothalyn says leaning down next to me.

No! Absolutely not! I am not wearing that! Don’t treat me like some pet dog! I am a fully thinking being!

I need to think of a lie to get Gothalyn off my tendril.

“Monsters prefer being naked rather than wearing clothes so I refuse for that reason,” Kiwi repeats my lie.

“Really?!” Gothalyn looks shocked by my lie but soon a determined smirk appears on her face.

“Prefer? Not. Need?”

Why is she so determined to put me in a dress!

“I don’t know? I've never worn clothes so they might be dangerous for monsters to wear, so it would be best if you kept them away from me.” Kiwi responds to Gothalyn as I try to avoid wearing the dress.

“But. Alfred. Always. Wear.” Gothalyn responds.

“Who is Alfred?” Kiwi asks for me.

“My. Dead. Pet. Species. Similar. To. You.” Gothalyn replied in her slightly robotic way.

Oh! It’s her pet tentacle monster, otherwise known, as the whole reason Gothalyn likes me to begin with, it’s also dead. That explains why the dress looks slightly used and old.

Gothalyn seems to pick up on the fact that I don’t want to wear the dress so she asks me, “If. Wear. I’ll. Get. Something. You. Want.”

Hmm? Well, what do I want that would be worth putting on that stupid dress?

‘Maistear? When can I have a better bed? If you have changed your mind, I don’t mind using Cinnamon as a pillow.’ Kiwi mentally asks.

‘Maifear! Don’t! Allow!’ Cinnamon responds before flapping her small wings from the bed and landing next to me, staring at me with her large bat eyes.

Oh! You think you can convince me with cuteness, well that might have worked if it wasn’t for that blood sack hidden underneath that fur.

Cinnamon stared deeply into my soul with her bat eyes, causing my will to falter slightly.

...BUT NOT ENOUGH! THAT DRESS IS MUCH TOO...fine I’ll wear the stupid dress.

Atleast everyone will be happy. Gothalyn will be happy because I’m appeasing her backwards sense of cuteness. Kiwi will get a bed. Cinnamon will avoid being a pillow. Cake will get her crab meat.

“I want two things. A new bed and hermit crab meat; the monster kind if you can get it.” Kiwi says in her sweet yet endlessly tired voice.

I would've gotten a pizza topped with kiwi but I don’t have a sense of taste, so it would be redundant to eat it.

Damn you! Lack of taste buds!

But also thank you because I don’t have to taste all the horrible stuff I have eaten in this new life.

“I wonder why your body has taste buds located near the spikes then? It was a joke. I already know the answer, it’s because they only activate when in contact with raw human meat; raw human flesh will taste better than the best-prepared food on the planet to you. It also seems that ever since you met this woman you have been trying your best to shove those thoughts away but I’m sure that even you would find it worth your time to dress up as a cute itty bitty maid to taste human meat. I know you have desires for it," GagOs told me, bringing that desire from the back of my mind to the forefront.

...

I...I...GagOs makes a solid point. I’ve been having to repress that desire in this new body and if everyone else gets to be happy.

Why can’t I be happy too?

It’ll just be a blood bag, that won’t hurt anyone.

‘Kiwi ask her, :Can I have a blood ba...: wait stop Kiwi don’t say that.’ I stop myself from making the request.

‘As you say, Maistear. But can I ask you something?’ Kiwi says stretching across the couch.

‘Sure,’ I respond with a slight tendril-ache from stopping myself from asking for human blood.

‘Can we kill humans other than Gothalyn?’ Kiwi asks.

‘Can we!?’ Cinnamon says, excited.

‘I would like to know the answer as well to more accurately follow your bidding,’ Cake says.

…

Well, based on that Hero website, I can’t just say that we’ll be fine all the time and as much as I would like to say no, I know that it’s best if they survived rather than someone else.

‘If they try to kill you...kill them, instead,’

‘Eat. Them?’ Cinnamon asks, saliva dripping from her mouth.

...

I don't know the answer to that.

I know the right thing to do is to just give a stern no and be done with it, but my instincts all tell me that I should let loose and divulge myself in it meaning that all I can see right now is a walking chicken bucket encroaching with a dress, which is honestly kind of funny if it didn't mean that I have a craving for human flesh built into this monster body.

Hopefully, the embarrassment of wearing that dress can slap me out of these dangerous thoughts.

'Ask me later, Cinnamon.'

'Okay!' Cinnamon replied.

An hour later:

Why did I think it was a good idea to trade my dignity for a bed and some crab?

It sounded a lot better of a deal in my head, at least my thoughts about human flesh went away.

...AND STOP PETTING ME!!!