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The Joy of Evolution
The Cake is not a lie, but is in fact a Hermit Crab

The Cake is not a lie, but is in fact a Hermit Crab

I have managed to escape the battle with the egg. In the process of my brave escape, I stumbled upon another hole this time much cozier and roomier, the only problem is that it ‘was’ being guarded by centipedes, but after showing them my little draining spikes that is no longer a problem.

[You are now level 9]

I have also covered the entrance with a large rock that I can barely move, to keep out any other monsters. I place the egg on the rocky ground.

The Latcher has been growing in my body and I can uncomfortably tell that it is ready to latch on to this poor unsuspecting egg. I activate the ability and gently poke my draining spike into the fleshy egg, I can feel the parasite leave my body and enter the egg, it feels almost euphoric passing it on, as the uncomfortable feeling of being the host goes away.

Now, I just have to wait for it to hatch. I have no idea how long this will take for it to hatch but, I am expecting it to be fast. I finish off half of the remaining centipede and save the other half for my soon to be companion/pet.

I sit there for another two hours trying to guess when it is gonna hatch because I don't want to miss it.

It's gonna happen NOW!

*nothing*

NOW!

*nothing*

Open-o my egg-o

*nothing*

Egg Presto!

*nothing*

…Another two hours pass by, as I guess when the egg is going to open...

please open this egg.

*nothing*

now?

*nothing*

what about now?

*squelch*

A small little crab claw pops out of the egg. As I see this, I immediately become excited, but for different reasons.

I did it, I predicted the future! I would like to see GladOs do that! My otherworldly powers put me on a different level of existence! You better watch out Gilbert! My rise to power has only just begun and no one will be able to stop the future predicting scribe that can see even the smallest of details as if they are nothi…

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

*pat*

I feel something hard and claw shaped something touch me, I immediately see what it is, my new pet, only the cutest little crabby I have ever seen!

My new pet hermit crab has small stalks topped with big black eyes. It covers its body using its newly formed spotted carapace, its antennae move about up and down feeling the air against them. The shell points slightly upwards and has a spiral of different colors flow from the base of the spiral all the way to the top.

Its eyes stare at me with the gleaming need for guidance, followed by its unrelenting determination.

*snip*

And snips.

It it looks so innocent that it should be a crime against monster-kind! The only creatures I have seen so far are horrible monstrosities that try to kill me, but that has now all been forgotten using my personal little eye bleach. I cannot under any circumstances allow this creature to die!

*snip* *snip*

This is a cause for celebration! And luckily I know just the thing!

I start to leave my hole in search of special treats, but my new pet starts to follow me.

*snip*

I guess I can't leave you with that disgusting centipede meat, but you are not to be damaged under any circumstances.

*snip* *snip* *snip*

I push the rock out of the way and wrap a few tendrils around the crabs legs as we make our way out into the tunnels.

I know I said that I wouldn't tame something and then mercilessly kill their species but, I have to get those special treats somehow and crab meat doesn't grow on trees.

I go the opposite way of the great Hermit and Millipede war and eventually stumble upon a grouping of them, but something looks unusual about them; they are not normal looking, they look more pale and dead than the average crab.

I peer through the tunnels around them and I spot a creature waiting in ambush above the pale crabs. It doesn't jump down on the unsuspecting crabs though, instead it seems as if the crabs are the cheese and it is the trap.

Armed with this info and my cute crab to protect. I do what any humanized tentacle monster would do in my position and I throw a couple rocks at the crabs.

Whatever was hiding up there has come down, causing a small dust cloud to appear below. It is hard to make out, what the creature is but it seems familiar at least.

The creature stops trying to attack rocks and stops. It turns its head toward me and I get a good look at the ZOMBIFIED HONEY BADGER?!

How do I know it's a honey badger when its jaw is hanging on by a thread and it looks its has been through a cheese grater, you may be asking? I can attribute that to the white bone on its back that has replaced its fur.

I think I know what is going on with those crabs, they turned into zombie crabs, after presumably getting bit by the honey badger!

For the sake of fresh and non-decayed treats to give my new crab. I shall put a stop to this honey badger.

I unravel my tendrils and set my pet on the ground.

The honey badger starts to run at me and I stretch a tendril and pierce a spike into its rotten flesh, but I can't drain it.

Before I have any time to complain about unfair zombie badgers, it bites my tendril!

[You have been inflicted with Necrosis]

[Using Regeneration, you have negated Necrosis for 5 Biomass]

NECROSIS?! And more importantly it's wasting my Biomass!

My tendrils stretch and stab into the honey badgers side, and I use Flesh Flash to grapple into the ground and give me that extra breakthrough I need to pierce its bone back where I presume its weak spot is hidden underneath. I am sent launching toward the badger, but I end up missing the back and instead hit the half decayed face.

Three spikes drill into its face, one in each eye and a third up a nostril. The honey badger backs away but trips and falls on the ground due to a rock I threw earlier and i start to tear away at the badger sending chunks of zombie meat flying all around, which eventually manages to kill it.

(You have defeated an enemy)

(You have gained 0 Biomass)

Thanks GladOs for rubbing it in, that I cant drain zombies! And speaking of zombies, where did the crabs go?

I can see the group of zombie crabs chasing after my one and only pet into a corner.

I am a lost cause! I almost killed my pet by not paying attention!

I quickly go and tear off all the eyestalks of the zombie crabs and we leave since I can't eat them and I dont want to feed my pet zombie meat.

I eventually find and kill a suitable crab and we make our way back to ‘Hole Base’, on the way I also share with my pet the miracle of cannibalism as I give it some of the fresh eyestalk off the crab I killed.

We make our way inside the hole and I shut the rock behind us.

I think it is time to give you a name, and I think I know the perfect name for you and your 'probably' colorful spiral shell. I dont know if the shell is actually colorful since I can only see in grayscale, but it seems like it and I think I know the pefect name to give a colorful hermit crab.

In honor of GladOs and her love for sugary desserts, I shall name you Cake. May you cannibalize your brethren to your eyestalks desire.

(Confirmed, You have given your first subject the name, Cake)

...

What can I say it has a nice ring to it.

Cake the Cannibilizer