Billy unlocked the titanium manhole cover, popping out a handle allowing it to be easily picked up. Billy then slid the cover to the side and looked down into the dark abyss of the sewers.
“Welp. Let’s go and find out what’s causing this problem,” Bob said burping out his last few words.
“Did you or I grab the flashlights,” Billy said, a little scared of the lack of light below.
“Oh, I did. Nearly forgot to give you one, don’t worry, I would never do such a thing,” Bob replied.
“See. This is why you're my favorite partner, you never forget about me,” Billy said, sarcastically.
Bob handed the flashlight over to his esteemed partner and Billy clipped to his alcohol-stained vest before they both headed down into the darkness to pay off their tab.
2 minutes later:
The two plumbers were sifting through any small crevice or pipe they could to find where that smell was coming from, however, they ran into a bit of a problem. Their masks worked a little too well and as such they had no idea where the smell was so naturally they began arguing about who should take off the mask and sniff the pungent air down here.
“You do it,” Bob said.
“No, you do it, Billy replied, slapping his hand and Bob’s shoulder.
“I’ll buy you a drink if you do it,” Billy responded, slapping Bob’s shoulder harder.
“I’ll buy you…” Bob in his drunken haze thought for a moment, before he replied, “...two drinks,”
“Done, the air can’t be that bad, and you’ll have to get me two drinks. Remember, when we were hired to clean out that guy with the power of extra-nasty log piles and a particularly bad day at Dipotle,” Billy replied extra sarcastically as if any power of that sort existed and he took his mask off and sniffed the surrounding sewage air.
*BLERGHHHHHHHHH!!!!*
Billy dropped to the ground and got on his hands and threw up today's alcohol binge and breakfast and whatever might be left in his stomach along with a teaspoon of blood mixed in for good measure. After, Billy had nothing left in his stomach Bob placed Billy’s mask back on his face.
“Was it really that bad? I...I didn’t want to let you fill up your mask with leftover mystery meat. Did you atleast find out which direction it’s coming from?” Bob responded, glad to give those two drinks to his friend and business partner at a later time.
Billy sat there soaked in his own vomit breathing heavily with bulging eyes.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“Better be some of the good shit,” Billy responded lightly under his breath before getting up from the ground.
“It’s bad all around to say the least but…I…*mergh*” Billy’s stomach dry heaved, having nothing left to give away, “...I think it’s coming from that…*mergh*...way.” Billy pointed down one of the dark tunnels illuminated by their cheap vest flashlights.
“Don’t worry about losing your lunch either, I bet if we can fix this problem Tazzy or whatever her name is will give you an all eat buffet, maybe even a personal all you can eat, if you get what I’m saying,” Bob replied to Billy as he nudged his shoulder against Billy’s, as both of their faces were still beat red from the earlier drinks.
“Please don’t joke about food, Bob,” Billy said as he looked down at the random assortment of food bits and stomach acid.
====
Billy and Bob walked down the tunnel where the stench was considerably worse according to Billy; they made drunken small talk along the way.
“All I’m saying is that she might be into that kinda thing,” Bob said, trying to argue that being vomited on makes you more attractive to potential one night stands.
“What do you mean?” Billy responded, interested in the concept.
“Well, it might not work for everyone, but I bet that since Tabby is so used to vomiting customers by now that she might have gained a fetish from them. There are weirder fetishes out there, especially the monster fetish. I mean who wants to fuck a toad with warts and razor sharp teeth!” Bob said.
“Ah! I remember that guy made news all over the city for like a week.” Billy said in response as he stepped into a red liquid that spread all across the floor in front of him with small rat bodies laid all around. Along with a green haired mantis-girl with yellow cat-like eyes that stared back at the humans that just stumbled upon her as she was eating a zed-rat that she stabbed with her scythe-like arm.
“...this is a weird place for a cosplay event?” Bob said, still drunk enough to not realize that the mantis-girl in front of them was not in fact at a cosplay event hidden in a monster-infested sewer.
“Yeah, it's pretty strange,” Billy whispered as he stared at the mantis-girl, as he questioned in his mind whether this was actually a cosplay event.
Billy's blood alcohol level may have been at a worryingly high level, but it was at the very least nowhere near as high as Bob's, who thought without a doubt that the sewer was the natural place for cosplayers to gather and eat undead rats.