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The Joy of Evolution
Braindead Rats want my Brain, So What’s a Brainless Monster to Do? - Ch. 42

Braindead Rats want my Brain, So What’s a Brainless Monster to Do? - Ch. 42

[Do you want to allow Verthrariug the >|^€]*€\* complete control over your body?]

Yes/No

[You have consumed 5 Biomass; remaining amount 1]

No! GagOs, I may only have one biomass but that does not mean I am willing to give you my body. I’m not that desperate!

“Unbelievable! You must be the pride and accomplishment of all the dumb cephalopods around the world!” GagOs says, interrupted my thought stream.

...yeah, whatever.

By the way, GagOs I think I just found out that you are capable of lying! When I entered Gothalyn’s brain to save her from death by radiation back in the cave, like the true hero that I am. I didn’t taste anything, when I stuck my tendril inside of her I didn’t taste anything!

Thinking back on it, I also didn’t really think of Gothalyn as food either. So, I guess my desires have been getting steadily worse ever since I started hanging out more with a human.

...but still. Explain, GagOs!

“You won’t give me something I want, but you always ask me for something...huh, wait give me a moment, while you wait for me listen to this relaxing elevator music,” GagOs replies before some calm music starts to play in my head.

Huh. That’s strange. GagOs has never done this before, but atleast I get to listen to some music. And speaking of music I wonder what music is like on this planet? I didn’t really do too much research on that? Well, I’ll find that out after I finish killing this monster I've been fighting while having to deal internally with GagOs.

It's a new monster I haven’t seen before either, a zombie rat. Since Gothalyn took us in a different direction to fight monsters today due to the explosion yesterday. So, instead of fighting many-eyed gators, weak roaches that could freeze you, and whatever leftover bats that are left, we are instead fighting many-eyed gators, weak roaches that could freeze you and a new contestant to the monster scene. The monster I am currently fighting in droves is called a Zombie Rat, they are literally zombie...rats. Slow-moving, dumber than the average rat, with rotten flesh hanging off even causing Gothalyn to gag a little, which must take some serious stench power off of these guys to make Gothalyn’s iron-gut queasy. They can also mutate a normal animal rat into a zombie rat by biting them, or so I have been told by Gothalyn. They also seem weirdly attracted to me for some reason.

‘Rat! Smell! Delicious!’ Cinnamon says as she floats above one of the clueless zombie rats in the distance, before mystifying her body and traveling downward toward the dumb rotten looking rat. Two mist-like fangs sprouted out the mist and bit into the rat, draining its small lifeforce.

‘Delicious! More! More! Feed me! MORE!’ Cinnamon screams as a light seemed to pulse out of the mist, in a heartbeat-like movement.

Cake and Kiwi seem less than impressed with the rats' taste but both still slice and devour a few. Cake is still shy about the mouth behind her face claws while she delicately rips off small pieces of rat meat using those claws. Kiwi on the other hand will eat the rats like popcorn. She just picks one off the floor and plops it into her mouth. Kiwi also eats much differently than a human, although she may be the most human out of all of us, excluding Gothalyn. She eats using a method I like to call the Nightmare Fuel Way, because I would have nightmares about it if I could sleep. When that rat goes inside her mouth, I can see four pairs of long and extremely sharp mandibles begin to tear away at the rat inside her mouth, shredding bone and flaying skin until all that's left is a bloody goop inside her mouth, at which point she will swallow it as if she didn’t just cause me to have a mini panic attack. So basically, Cinnamon eats her food like a syringe draining blood, Cake eats like she’s using a knife and fork by delicately moving her face claws, Kiwi eats like she’s using a wood chipper by destroying her food as fast as possible, and I eat sort of like a syringe except I think it’s more like similar to a straw. Or maybe a vacuum hose, since I can drain a zombie rat's body basically instantly, even big bodies don’t take me very long to completely drain them dry.

The only real issue with these rats is that somehow there is just an absolute fuck-ton of them! They must breed like crazy to produce this kind of output! I wonder what a zombie rat girl might look like? I’m not getting one due to them being these rats excessively weak but if Kiwi can go from a mantis to a literal girl with scythe arms. A zombie rat girl might not be that crazy? But, it’s just something to think about as I murder them en masse.

As I was killing the rats I roll over to the sewage water and stare at myself in the puddle as I drain seven zombie rats at the same time. Reminding me once again that I am no longer human.

[You have gained 14 biomass]

Wow! If I was still a human and not desensitized to gore and most creepy things. I would probably pass out from fear if I saw anything that looked like me back on Earth. Speaking of Earth? I wonder what’s going on Earth, right now?

Probably not much. To be honest, Earth was kinda boring when compared to this world. If I could describe my human life on Earth it would be, ‘An average life without any hardship or grand goals, but instead hopping from thing to thing to keep life interesting,’ I guess I don’t really have any grand goals in this world, either? Hmm? Well, I suppose I could just make one up? What do I want to achieve as a monster? I’m sure that I’ll eventually become a humanoid-like Cake and them, but what about after that I can’t just only level up and get stronger all my life. Becoming the strongest in the world is a shallow goal to spend your entire life striving for.

I guess my end goal would be to...eurgh I don’t know! What do I want to spend my entire life striving to do as a monster? I guess creating a place where intelligent monsters like us can survive and thrive without having to hide in the sewers and abandoned buildings.

I wonder what Gothalyn’s end goal in life is?

I mentally tell Kiwi to ask Brooklyn a question.

“Brooklyn, do you have an end goal in life?” Kiwi asks for me, clearly trying to use a rat as a pillow.

“Hmm? Where. This. Come. From?” Brooklyn asks as she looks over to the seven dried rat corpses around me.

“I was curious,” I respond, truthfully.

“...Yes, I do,” Gothalyn replied, unusually normal and at the same time looked like she was about to die of exhaustion trying to say that.

“It’s. To. Protect. My. Sister,” Gothalyn replied with a kind stoic smile, back to her usual short way of speaking.

Is that it! Your entire life’s end goal is to keep your sister out of trouble! That can’t be it! If that was it, then how would I fit in with that! You're not that brainwashed, are you!

“Does that goal connect with helping me,” I ask in response, using Kiwi.

“Yes. No,” Brooklyn says in response, giving both answers.

“You. Are. Unique. Strange. And. Oddly. Human,” Brooklyn says before continuing, “Anyone. Else. Would. Either. Kill. Or. Experiment. You. And. Your. Things. But. I. Feel. Different,” Brooklyn paused once again, “I. Help. You. Because. I. Feel. Strangely. Obligated. To. And. I. Also. Hope. That. By. Treating. You. As. A. Friend. Instead. Of. A. Tool. You. Will. Like. Me. And. Help. Me. Once. You. Become. Stronger. Than. Me.”

I know why you feel 'strangely obligated to', but I’m not about to tell you that I stabbed you in the brain and made you more compliant to me. Instead, I’ll keep this conversation as normal as it can be talking to a monster through another monster, while you yourself talk like a robot.

“Help you protect your sister?” Kiwi says.

“Yes,” Gothalyn responds.

“Why do you trust me with your sister’s protection?” Kiwi asks.

“I. Think. You. Are. More. Trustworthy. Then. Most. Humans. Due. To. Ignorance.”

Stolen novel; please report.

Ouch! Are you calling me dumb! GagOs, now you! I’m trying to learn how this world works as fast as I can but it’s a little hard to go through a few mikipedia pages and figure out this planet's entire list of quirks! I’m not just dumb! Actually, I’ll have you know I was of average intelligence as a human! I graduated from school...I didn’t do the best but I passed. There is nothing wrong with just passing! I could do whatever I wanted while everyone else slaved away at homework and studies, meanwhile, I would spend my time calculating how many assignments I could skip without failing the class. So basically I used math to skip doing more complicated math. Who cares if that letter says A+ or C-. Passing is passing.

After our short conversation, Brooklyn bent to the ground and as a dozen or so zombie rats tried to gang up on her, a dozen spikes thrust out of the ground and stabbed straight through all of them. Cinnamon then flew over using bat-like wings and plunged her fangs into each of the small rotting rodents.

‘Delicious! Amazing! Best! Thing! Ever! Excluding! Maifear!’ Cinnamon screams, making my self-esteem increase a little.

As Cinnamon drains the bats. I watch as her blood pack hidden behind her fur slowly started to grow increasingly prominent. The blood sack takes away from Cinnamon overall cuteness even if she is a bit batty. That may be a terrible joke but Cinnamon is already taking the “cake” for the most psychotic monster of the group. Not literally, of course, Cake is doing just fine using her shell as a sort of mobile storage system, carrying the laptop that doesn’t get any service down deep in the sewers.

‘Cinnamon, spend your biomass on your shadow gland, fangs, and wings and spend it before your “stomach” starts to show’

‘Yes, Maifear!’ Cinnamon replied.

I wonder how that pouch is going to transform when Cinnamon becomes humanoid? I did some research on Cinnamon's species using my laptop and found that the pouch or sac basically acts like a monster storage organ which is usually hidden inside the body but not so for this bat species. They have it on the outside; I also found out the reason I feel like I’m growing is because of that organ growing and shrinking inside of me to hold all of my biomass. I assume the same happens to Cake and Kiwi.

“Chic. Chic. Chic.” I hear a sound come from the distance of my vision.

I start to peer toward it and focus down the winding tunnels and spot a superlarge pregnant-looking zombie rat, although I don’t think pregnant is the right word for an abomination of a see-through stomach that thing has! It makes Cinnamon’s odd blood pouch look excessively cute in comparison!

This zombie rat is about as large as a compact car and has a stomach that touches the floor along with its exposed ribs. I don’t even really want to call it a stomach, but I can see a dead 20-eyed gator floating around inside its stomach so I see no other option but to call that thing a stomach. Around its body are also pimple-like balls that have small rats floating around inside waiting to be birthed into this world.

Fuck that! That has to be the most disgusting mutated thing I have ever seen! That thing is so disgusting I am making a list to go along with the dumbest list called the ugliest list! And that thing tops the list!

Oh god, I think I’m gonna throw up just looking at that thing. Oh, never mind I did. I just threw grenades up instead of stomach acid. Which I promptly threw at the rat to kill it as to fighting it in actual combat.

The huge rat makes a left in the ‘H’ shaped sewage system, however, as soon as it does this. It’s met with three increasingly violent grenades that will explode at any moment. So what does this horrid rat do with those suspicious-looking jiggling balls of flesh?

Of course, it eats them by licking them off the ground using its half-rotten tongue. And I catch a glimpse of the flesh grenades entering the creature's stomach before exploding it from the inside out. Popping the rat-like an overfilled balloon splashing the walls and ceiling of the sewer tunnel in a smear of organs, goo, and blood. All that’s left of the mother rat is a mass of flesh, fur, and random limbs that hit the floor as soon as it exploded. Honestly, more of the mother rat is on the ceiling and walls rather than the ground, anymore. Not really the type of scene I though I would see as a calming trumpet plays in the background, courtesy of GagOs.

[You are now level 18]

“What. Was. That.” Gothalyn said as she pointed her flashlight toward the leftover mass of the deceased rat.

'Meister, I apologize for not noticing such a creature sooner,' Cake says.

Oh, well, you see I’m just amazing, and I killed the rat before anyone else even realized such a threat even existed. No big deal or anything. I saved you all from looking at it.

“...uh oh,” Gothalyn replies as soon as she spotted the corpse, with wide eyes.

Huh?! What do you mean uh oh!

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Chic. Chic. Chic.”

“Greeaghhhhhhhh”

There are so many mother rats! I mean it makes sense there was no way a single "queen" rat could make all of those rats by herself but I never thought there would be this many! That last one was Gothalyn vomiting from the stench by the way. But, all the others were more mother rats gathering around us from all directions.

“Bad. Smell. Attracts. Them.” Brooklyn replies, wiping off her mouth.

What Gothalyn is trying to get across is that these mother zombie rats smell really bad when you explode all their organs on the wall. Meaning that possibly thousands of zombie rats are on their way right now, along with all these new mother zombie rats I can see enter my field of vision.

‘Everyone prepare for a fight! Remember to dodge and not fall asleep in the middle of a fight!’

‘Zzz-HUH! I’m so sorry, Maistear! It won’t happen again!’ Kiwi replies as I look at the zombie rat she used as a makeshift pillow.

Do these rats really smell that bad?

Kiwi is using them as a pillow, but she probably has a messed-up sense of smell.

It doesn’t smell too bad to me? Ah! I don’t really have a nose, though? So, I can’t really smell anything. You know, I never really thought about it until now, mostly because of all these new and unusual things that stand out more than just not being able to smell a decaying corpse.

“Alright, I’m back. I just had to…” GagOs paused for a moment before continuing, “I was gone for ten minutes? And this happened! You do really need me to take over your body.”

How was I supposed to know that these rats get attracted to bad smells! That mother rat must have been attracted by the smell of the dying rotting rats. Wait! Then why were all those rats attracted to me in the first place!

Do I smell?

*mental sniff*

Nope, still can’t smell anything.

‘Cinnamon!’ I call.

‘Yes, Maifear!’ Cinnamon replies.

‘Can you tell me how I smell? Wait, where are you?’

‘Eating. Amazing. Goo. Off. Wall.” Cinnamon replies.

...oh. Cinnamon can use biomass to heal, right? Best let her take as much of it for the upcoming fight.

...And because she seems to be really enjoying stuffing herself on zombie rat goop.

‘Nevermind, I’ll have Cake do it?’

‘Yes, Meister!’ Cake responds scuttling toward me, while Cinnamon continues to gain biomass off a gooey wall.

‘You smell great, Meister! It reminds me of a corpse stuffed inside another corpse and then left to mature in a tub of eyeballs.’ Cake replies after smelling me, curving her face claws in a truthful smile.

...So I smell bad.

Is what you're telling me.